A disease
A plague
One stuck in my head

The cure is known
But ignored to avoid death
Of what hasn't been said

I plead
I pray
My body disintegrates

I can't function
There's no comfort
In this endless tension

Pictures
Videos
Images remind me of the pain

Yet I glance
And I wonder
Could my pain be something better?

The fight
The struggle
To quit this avoidance would be the trouble

This cure can make due
Of all the pain
that I've made it through

take the pill
Accept the death
I have nothing else to accept

And just like that
Everything dies
And is sent to the after life

And as I disappear
Another is born
With less to fear

Vulnerability
Plausibility
The cure has gotten to me

I become of joy for death
The one that made me free
One that helped me be

And I thank God every night
That I built up
the conscious to die

A disease
A plague
Never again

Why do you stand at the door frame wanting a hug?
Even when the blood within in our very veins separates us
Even when one noticeably meaningful tug
Would make their eyes see suspicious
Why do you stand at the door frame wanting a hug?
Even when the many flaws have become obvious
Even if all the numbness is avoided by a simple shrug
All this needs to be absent, all this is prosperous!
Why do you stand at the door frame wanting a hug?
When my ultimate power proclaims"that's enough"
When a bond so strong, but when noticed, forced to convene with the drug
Oh how could you take such a chance when a hug will make time tough
Yet, you still stand at the door frame wanting a hug.

I put words on a paper
But none come clear
To the feeling once felt
When I released fear

It's a feeling never felt before
Like fireworks in my stomach
They explode unexpectively, unwanted
But yet it's a feeling that I adore

For distance may seem like a number
Of miles or kilometers
But it's powerful enough to put that feeling to a slumber

A endless sleep that slowly dreams
A bit at a time
Coming to surface
Nothing as it would seem

For that night on the deck
When fireworks were in our eyes
Will always be remembered
But may never come back into check