And once again I find myself
crushed beneath the sole
of a size twelve, steel toed boot.

I am nothing to you
but an annoying insect
crawling across the ground.

I must be stopped,
smashed into bits,
before I make off with your heart.

How different would the world be
if so many annoying insects
weren't squashed?

How different would the world be
if you allowed me
to make off with your heart?

And once again,
It's two AM.
And she's awake,
Writing about him.
She can't explain in words,
Those feeling that occur,
When his face drifts in her head,
So she sings about it instead.

When he says hello,
Her thoughts just melt like snow.
And when he walks her way,
She forgets just what to say.

And once again, my friend,
I'm up at two AM.
I sit here all alone,
My thoughts shift into poems.

I sometimes wonder
If I have ever given someone
Butterflies

If they tingle inside
When I smile
And shyly tuck my hair
Behind my ear

If they melt a little
When I laugh at their jokes
And fire one back at them

If their stomach
Twists in knots
When I listen to them
Like they're the only thing
That matters

I wonder
If I have ever driven someone crazy
With every little thing
I do
Maybe I will
Someday

I have liked you for so long
But you seemed aloof
out of my league.
And now by a random twist
You fall into my life again
like prearranged cards
Fitting in their place.
Suave and sure.
Today you called me beautiful
And I just want to run to you
With all I have.
Let you hold me tight
Kiss me as I fit my body close
And enjoy now with you.

Snapping ribs, punctured lungs.
My heart being squeezed and I can't breathe.
Why are you staring at me like that?
I've never caught a guy's eye.
Why do you smile at me like
I'm the best thing you've ever seen?
Brown eyes warm and without doubts.
I don't know how to act.
I stutter and grin like a fool.
My heart hurts.
I avoid guys like you, the "pretty" ones.
They tease and poke fun, I'm not their ideal girl.
Yet here you are. Are you different?
I enjoy talking with you, and you really hear me.
The pain ebbs.
Without warning.
I've crushed.
On you.

You know that moment,
that brutally honest and crushing moment,
when you realize
you have absolutely no idea
where you stand?
You know that moment,
when your heart sinks deep into your chest
and you realize
you are lost?
That moment when you begin to question
everything he's ever said
and you wonder
what am I,
to you?

And yet, you find yourself speechless
over and over again.
You stifle all of the gnawing questions,
time and time again,
waiting for the perfect time
that you know will never come.
You find yourself resisting the urge to simply ask,
because you are too afraid to hear
the answer.
What happens when there are too many
unspoken worries and unanswered questions
that you cannot go on.
Will you know?
Will you realize that there is no perfect time
because is there is no good time to ask?
That your questions all have inevitable answers
but that one tiny speck of hope keeps overcoming
the brutally honest and crushing realization
that the answer is no where.

Do you ask anyway?

When I first saw you
my eyes widened as they took you in
You tipped your head back and laughed at something your friend said
Your laugh was so intoxicating and made everyone else look up in wonderment
All the pretty girls flocked to your side
Like a moths drawn to light
I wanted to say something cool and funny
So I could make your face light up like a Christmas tree
But every time I even tried to say hi
my stomach would go into knots
my mouth would get dry and
my throat would seizes up
So all that would come out of my mouth
was complete and utter gibberish
And you will never know that whenever you talk
to a girl that my soul dies a little
That my self esteem erodes away, bit by bit
like a wave pulling back the sand into the sea
that's why they call it I crush I suppose
because it crushes me to know that
I will never be good enough for someone
like you