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 Mar 2014 Juanita Alfaro
Mikaila
I'm looking for a home.
I always think I've found it,
But I'm beginning to realize that maybe life
Is all about finding home,
And if you find it
You've finished.
Maybe life is just about chasing
Whatever makes you feel like you're home.

You know those people who burn love letters
After the breakup?
I'm not one of those people.
It hurts me to think that anyone could.
What sense is there in denying that something good happened
When such little good comes into such a long life?

When you said we should get a tattoo together
I knew you'd leave someday.
Is that weird?
I knew, that moment.
And I was sad about it for a month
But I never said anything-
When I know things, I just know,
And there is no reason to rush the end
If it's coming anyhow.

I wish I could say I didn't expect you
Not to miss me.
I wish I could say I didn't expect
Not to miss you.
But I see it all coming.
It's my special gift.
I know what home is
And I know when it leaves.
See, I don't leave home.
Home leaves me.
And that's okay.

But I think I need to say
Because I think it is important
That for a minute you were home
To me.

For a minute, your arms were enough.
Your husky smoker's voice,
Your fairy wing shoulders.
For the barest moment
I could see home in your eyes,
And oh,
I lived in that moment.

I am
Such a wanderer.
I'm not sure
I'll ever have roots.
No.
No
I'm not sure
Roots
Will ever have me.

Growing up I used to cry because I missed home.
With my head in my mother's lap
In my living room
I was just too young to explain
That I didn't know what I was homesick for
If I'd only ever lived in one house.

I thought I found home once,
The real kind
And I'm still homesick for that feeling,
That addictive, safe feeling
Of thinking you know what the next day
Will bring you
But
Just like home
That knowledge is never what or when or where
You expect it to be
And it never stays for long.

This isn't a love letter.
This isn't a goodbye, either.
Or maybe it is.
I suppose that
Is up to you.

I guess all I wanted to say is
Knowing you was like driving by a house in the suburbs
Late at night
And all the lights are on
And someone forgot to draw the curtains
So before you round the next curve you can see by accident
A slice of happiness
And maybe you see yourself there
With someone's arms around you
And a cat on the back of the couch
And in that moment
You're home
And then whoosh
It's gone behind the trees and you
Have to keep going forward
Because
Well

You've somewhere to be.

Knowing you
Was kind of like that.
 Mar 2014 Juanita Alfaro
r
With broken wing
She tried to fly
A broken wing
The ruse she tried
On broken wing
The sigh, it died
For broken wing
Her lover cried

r ~ 12Mar14
A segment of a relation
which at times has happiness brought
But too each side has felt
the cold touch of her breath
and the question she poses
as warmth fades with comfort
and true feelings hide behind doubt

I never imagined that it was possible
that one could be in the presence of an angel
and feel so *****
For I am covered and dripping
in not my insecurities
but ours both

And in my suffering
I weep for two

For I lay beside a fading star
who's beauty is becoming hard to see

Who assures me I am loved
and tries to iron out our distress
But we will both remain tormented
with Misery as my mistress
I'm creating a Lego alter-ego
Called Scarlet.
Her skin is flawless
Her face a fixed fierce determined smile
Her drawn on ******* will never sag
And she never has a hair out of place.

She has a pet monkey by her side
Poached from my brothers 1989 pirate set
After she duelled with Pegleg Pete
And made him walk the plastic plank.

She has lego lovers in high places
Batman has given her the code to his 6860 set batcave
And the white Knight from castle set 70404
Has lent her his trusty steed
And he drank from her cup.

She is fearless and has an interchangeable
Wipe clean wardrobe
She can be whatever she wants
She is **** yet robust
When placed on a high shelf
She may gather dust
But she is always ready
For fun and adventure
And she will never age or rust.
It's only a dream
I'm no foolish girl
I will have to wake up
Eventually

The problem with dreams
As soon as you wake up
It's over

You can dream again
But it won't be me

Maybe I'm wishing
Just this once
Dreams could come true
But if I did
I would never tell you
A burning sunset
Waving trees
The sky cries
but let nothing dampen the mood
This world, my existence
has been replaced
by the warmth
of you in my arms
If someone offered you a burnt rose you would scrunch your nose up for sure

It would be frail,weak and lack so much allure

It would be black and crumble between your fingers

You would cringe and the hurt would linger

Who wants a burnt rose lost of colour or a pleasurable sight

No one,you give someone that out of sheer spite

So I ask again,who wants a burnt rose that will crumple with the wind?

That the bees stray away from and the birds refuse to sing.

Mother nature forgot that rose as fire consumed it

Everyone forgot as the rose swiftly lit.
 Mar 2014 Juanita Alfaro
A
Flow
 Mar 2014 Juanita Alfaro
A
Things happen,
Unexpectedly.
It will hit you like a storm,
On the raging sea.
Getting sick,
From the bumpy ride.
More and more waves,
Move you side to side.
But you have to realize,
You need to go with the flow,
Swim against the current,
And your pace will slow.
Always move foward,
But admire the past.
It happened for a reason,
So a new net you will cast.
There are always more fish,
In the deep blue sea.
Don't get hung up on one,
When tomorrow you can catch three.
So what ever the future,
Holds for me.
Now I will be floating along,
Without a care in the sea.
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