It's not a job interview
I don't expect it to be

I walked into the meeting and saw him
him
him

who?
why should I care and why does it matter?

I don't have friends here, I don't need friends here
all I need is my brain to stop

I wish my brain was
like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

We are young, they say,
like the new stars forming,
like the ocean sounds adorning
sleep to the city dweller,
with his leathered face
but handsome pay.

He's exchanging the sirens
for a more rhythmic pace,
taking off his coat
and professional face,
to press you to the wall,
forgetting the Keats and the Byrons
that came before.

We are young, I'm sure,
despite having to crawl,
despite disappearing into
the city sprawl,
and returning half a person,
only memory intact,
and a stream of shutting doors.

You're giving up too soon.
Too soon a disciple of established fact,
too soon beguiled by
your own stage-lit act;
a smile worn, rather than felt,
a dress bought for him,
but never touched,

and for all of the hands
you may have dealt,
not a single one
has kept you young.

Today was not a bust or a wash, but instead a push.
A day where nothing was lost, but nothing was gained.

I accomplished nothing today because there was nothing that needed to be accomplished.

As the days go on I will be more appreciative of these days that don't mean so much to me now. I chatted with some old friends, told them stories that were just lies tied to dumb jokes.

Listen to whatever music I happen to stumble upon and spend my life watching others enjoy themselves for my enjoyment. I talked about going home today, and where I want to go after this whole "Adventure" they call it is over.

I recollected all the places I've been that I enjoy. NYC: busy, but a beautiful bustling that would keep me busy, Salt Lake City: a blanket spread all throughout Utah, expansive as well as calming. California: a modern vibe that screams tourism and tries to hide it's problems, New Jersey, an interesting place that needs more research in my heart. A mix of city, nature, as well as ocean that never ceased to captivate me for the one week I was there, and the food, oh the food was unbelievable, hearty pastas and pieces of pizza pie that dripped with flavor.

I've never been much for pasta sauce as most people I know buy store bought Ragu and I don't much like the taste. But my uncle makes an unreal sauce that takes hours to cook and contains extra ****** olive oil and smells like a beautiful savory taste in my mouth.

I heat up, and wish that I was never cold again and want to sleep for 4 years and wake up in that place, wherever that may be. Your life revolves around you, but remember to have common decency for your fellow human beings. Let life take you where you want it to, like a passenger inside a taxi. Take me to Lex and leave me there.

Sleep can't help me now. Nothing can help
me now. As many people care, and as sure as I am that the number of people that do care is less than or equal to zero, I still regret waking up every day. How hard is it to feel

When do the days grow into hours grow into grow in grow to the
     top of the forest where the environment sways back and forth
          on unstable ground where everything is constantly shifting
and sinking deeper and
                           deeper and
                                d
                           ­      e
                                  e
                           ­        p
                                    e
                         ­            r, to the point where nothing even matters anymore and the only sounds anybody hears are just the bittersweet echoes of whatever ounce of sadness you still have saved for a special occasion. Represent the resentment that resides in the recesses of your wretched receptacle that reaches for any affection afflicted amorously to our attached arteries and alveoli and attend to any of our other needs. Remember not to cast asunder others or to deprecate mothers and fathers and sisters and brothers who should love one another for each other as well as the lovers who quiver and shudder at affection and attention reflected at their functioning conjunction of otherworldly love for one another. Know what you want and need and see to it that you get to be the best you could be and tell yourself to be free! Scream to your creators and scream to yourself that I, yes I can be whatever I want to be and whatever social constructions will not let me see, then I wish to be freed and I get down on both knees and pray to whomever will hear my dreams.

Know that there is no being more powerful in your life than you. You are the Alpha and Omega, the Logos and the Pathos, the Shakespeare and the Limp Bizkit. Everything that you ever want is an achievable aspiration, and all you need to do is know. Know. Know. Know. Know. Know that when you grow old and frail and brittle that your body will ache with the experience of a person who has been to hell and back and maybe back to hell one more time because you were young and never learned. So play games, jump and run, dance and sing, do something you'd never do normally, try out for the play, play sports, write a poem, write a song, write anything at all, talk to people, talk to strangers, sleep for 4 hours instead of 8, sleep for 12 hours instead of 4, think and think and think until it drives you to drink and think some more. Know that you wish and wish to know that everything you want and need is obtainable and in your reach. Life is alive and wants you to live, so show Life respect and do what it wants you to do: Go.

Is everyone right?
Does anyone care?
Is anyone left?
How did they fare?

How did they stand,
with their feet on the ground,
when all I ever did,
was beat them all down?
I want it to all be over.

Does it even matter?
Should I even try?
Does the past pitter-patter,
or just make you cry?

Bad memories they follow,
like a cold winter storm,
but when it blows over,
new ones are born.
I wish it were colder.

Make it a journey,
make it a trip,
live out your life,
and shoot from the hip.
Nobody knows, Nobody sees,
when your life's been well over,
and cut at the knees,
Bad memories they find you,
like a solider shoots straight,
if you dodge out the way,
you're just tempting fate.