THE WODEN WESTFIELD CHRISTMAS PARADE




SUE’   HI AND WELCOME TO THE WODEN WESTFIELD CHRISTMAS PARADE

MARKING THE START OF SANTA’S JOURNEY, HERE, AND AT PRESENT

THEY ARE CLEANING THE FLOOR WAY, SO THEIR AIN’T ANY ACCIDENTS, MATE

AND ME SUE LONGWAYS HAS PETE WITH A CAROLD FROM US

PETE’  WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS

OH YEAH A JOLLY CHRISTMAS

A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS

IN THE SOUTH OF CANBERRA TODAY

GOOD PRESENTS WE’LL GIVE

TO EACH OF OUR KIDS

YPU SEE WE WISH YOU A HAPPY CHRISTMAS AT

WODEN WESTFIELD TODAY

SUE’   THAT WAS A GREAT SONG AND NOW

HERE IS ANOTHER CAROL FROM PRUE

PRUE’   OH YEAH THE CHRISTMAS BELLS

OH ******* WHERE ARE THE KIDDIES

I CAN’T FIND THEM OH NO

AND THEN AS I WALK AROUND WOOLWORTHS YEAH

I FOUND MY KIDDIES, YEAH I DID

EATING CHOCOLATE AND MOTHER HAD TO PAY THE BILL YET AGAIN

SUE’  ME SUE LONGWAYS WILL BE BACK AFTER THIS BREAK BOBBYE SANTA LAND

THE KIDDIES ARE HERE

PART 2
SUE’   AND WELCOME BACK TO THE FRESH FOOD SECTION OF WODEN WESTFIELD AWAITING

THE START OF THE SANTA CLAUS PARADE

AND WHILE WE ARE WAITING, NEVER HESITATING WE ARE REALLY REALLY WAITING

TO START IT, HERE IS A YOUNG DUDE JINGLE BELLS, FROM BILLY

BILLY’  YO DUDES, WE ARE DASHING THRU THE EARTH, LIKE A YO SURFER SHARK

WITH ALL THE PRESENTS IN THE BACK, AND A GREAT BIG DOG THAT BARKS

YO LEAVE ME ALONE YA DOG

I WANT TO SEND YO SURFER TO SWIM

ON EVERY BEACH OF THIS GREAT BIG WORLD

AND RIDE THEV WAVES, THAT’S GREAT

JINGLE BELLS YO JINGLE BELLS

THE CHRISTMAS SHARK HAS COME

TO GIVE THE KIDS AND ADULTS GIFTS

AND ***** TO GET US BLIND

YA SEE WE HAVE XXXX AND VB TOO

AS WELL AS CHAMPAGNE YIPPEE I AY

YEAH THESE JINGLE BELLS ARE  RINGING DUDES

YEAH ON THIS CHRISTMAS DAY

YO, YA HERE THE CHRISTMAS BELLS

ARE RINGING WITH A LOUD SONG

AND THE REINDEER DOES A **** IN THE PADDOCK

AND BOY DOES IT MAKE A PONG

YA SEE YO SURFER SHARK IS COMING UP TO SAY

OH WHAT A WONDERFUL TIME OF YEAR WE HAVE

I WANT TO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY

JINGLE BELLS YO JINGKE BELLS

THE CHRISTMAS SHARK HAS COME

TO GIVE ALL THE KIDS AND ADULTS GIFTS

AND ***** TO GET US BLIND

SUE’    SORRY BILLYI MUST STOP YOU NOW, AS THE PARADE

HAS STARTED, WITHN A MONSTERLOOKING REALLY COOL

AND A FEW KABGAROOS AND REINDEERS AND A MARCHING BAND

AND ALSO SANTA WITH A BEAUTIFUL MRS CLAUS

THAT THIS CITY JAS EVER SEEN, AND WESTFIELD WODEN, IS COMING ALIVE

WITH HEAPS OF CHRISTMAS CHEER, AND THE MONSTER ISN’T A MONSTER

IT’S AN ALLIGATOR, OR EVEN SHREK, ******* LOOKS LIKE SHREK

YEAH IT’S RADICALLY AWESOME, AND THERE ARE A FEW PRETTY CHEER GIRLS

AND ALL THE BLOKES SAY, THEY ARE SOOOO HOT BABY

AND MRS CLAUS IS WAVING TO EVERYONE DANCING ALONG HAPPILY

TO EVERY CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYED BY THE GREAT BAND

MAN, SHE IS SWAYING FROM SIDE TO SIDE, DUDES

IT IS RADICALLY AWESOME DUDES

AND SANTA YELLED OUT, MERRY CHRISTMAS ON THE BOTTOM FLOOR

YEAH THIS IS COOL, AND IT’S THE ALLIGATOR, WHO IS THE FINEST COSTUME ANIMAL

AS WE ARE MAKING A GREAT TRAVEL AROUND THE WODEN WESTFIELD PLAZA

AND I SEE THE ELVES KEEPING CLOSE SHOWING THEIR CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

AND EVERYONE IS WAVING THEIR HANDS AS THE PARADE WENT ON

AND WE JUST PASSED A KID WITH A SUPERMAN SUIT ON, HE’S COOOL MAN

YEAH THIS IS RADICALLY AWESOME DUDES

SANTA GIVES ALL THE MEN CUDDLES AS HE TRIUMPHS THROUGH THE MALL

AND AS WE DRAW TO LINCRAFT ESCULATOR, THEY MOVE ON FORWARD

TO MAKE A STOP AT EPIC HAIR SALON

WHERE THEY MADE A TURN AROUND AND ME SUE LONGWAYS

IS HAVING A WOW OF A TIME

AS THE BIG SHEEP DOGS AND OWNERS, AND THE BEAUTIFUL CHEER GIRLS

AND THEN SANTA PATTED ME SUE LONGWAYS, ON THE SHOULDER

YOUR MY OFF SIDER, SUE LONGWAYS, AS ME SUE LONGWAYS IS WEARING

A SANTA SUIT FOR AAA YOUTUBE TV

AND NOW WE ARE HEADING TO THE ESCULATOR, NEAR THE BIG W ENTRANCE

AND THE BAND PLAY RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER

HAS A VERY SHINY NOSE, AND IF YA EVER SAW IT, YA CAN EVEN SAY IT GLOWS, LIKEW A LIGHT BULB

ALL OF THE OTHER REINDEERS USED TO LAUGH AND CALL HIM NAMES, LIKE PINNOCHIO

THEY NEVER LET POOR RUDOLPH, JOIN IN ANY REINDEER GAMES, LIKE MONOPOLY

AND THEY GET TO THE NEXT DOWN LEVEL; AND THE BAND PLAYED

HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS

RIGHT DOWN SANTA CLAUS LANE,BLITZEN AND ***** AND ALL THE REINDEERS

PULLING ON THE REIGNS

AND SANTA AND THE ALLIGATOR AND THE GINGERBREAD MAN WAVED

TO ALL THE KIDDIES AS THEY MAKE IT THROUGH

CHRISTMAS IS HERE AND PEOPLE ARE EATING LUNCH AS

WE ARE PARADING THROUGH THE FOOD COURT, OH YEAH

AND ME SUE LONGWAYS, THINKS THIS IS COOL, MAN

EAT MY FLAMING SHORTS, LIKE BART SIMPSON SAYS

AND SANTA AND THE ALLIGATOR ARE WALKING PAST HUNGRY JACKS AND MACCAS, YEAH MATE YEAH

YA KNOW, HAVING A WOW OF A FLAMING TIME

AND THEN THE BAND PLAYED

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BETTER NOT CRY

YOU BETTER NOT POUT I AM TELLING YOU WHY

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

AND THE REINDEER AND THE ALLIGATOR AND THE CHEER GIRLS, TEEN OR TWEEN, OH YEAH

AND WAVING TO EVERYONE WAVING TO EVERYONE

AND ONE LADY HAS THE GIFTS, SANTA WILL GIVE THE KIDDIES

AS THEY SIT ON HIS KNEES

AND WE PULL UP HERE AT MUFFIN BREAK

AND NOW WE ARRIVE AT SANTA’S WORKSHOP

AND ME SUE LONGWAYS IS EXCITED AS SANTA MEERTS HIS FIRSTKIDS IN THE LINE

ARE THE MOST EXCITIBLE KIDS IN WODEN

AS WE VWATCH THE KIDS EYES COME OUT WITH TOTAL AMAZEMENT

AS THE KIDDIES CHEER SANTA SANTA SANTA OI OI OI

WE ARE CHEERING ON OUR SANTA CLAUS, YEAH AND THE DOGS WALK ON THEIR PAWS

AND THE CROWD GOTN THEIR PHOTOS WITH THE GINGER BREAD MAN

AND NOW HERE IS BOBBHY WITH HIS SONG

BOBBY’   JINGLE BELLS JBATMAN SMELLS

ROBIN LAID AN EGG

THE BATMOBILE LOST IT’S WHEEL

AND THE JOKER GOT AWAY

JINGLE BELLS BATMAN SMELLS

ROBIN FLEW AWAY

WONDER WOMAN LOST HER *****,

FLYING QANTAS AIRWAYS

SUE’   AND WE LOST OUR MAN WHO SANG OUR JINGLE BELLS YOUNG DUDE SONG, SO WE CAN’T BRING HIM ON

BUT IT’S TIME TO GO AND PARTY DOWN IN SANTAS VILLAGE

Bullying is wrong
If you bully someone to make them want to **** themselves
It is wrong
I feel for poor little children who get bullied
Even if the bully says it is just a harmless tease
It is not
Remember dolly killed herself 2 years ago it is wrong
Very very wrong
When I was a kid I was locked in a room
I hated that so much
People used to harass me for money
Saying if I don’t give it to them
They won’t be my friend
That was wrong
Like when I was smoking
People tried to bully a smoke out of me
So I gave up smoking
All that is wrong
You might think they are just joking with you but no, they are bullies
Really bad bullies
My late father was very good at helping people who got bullied
But I became too scared to tell my parents
Mainly because I liked the school
But every school has bullies
And I think IT IS WRONG
To bully a poor child who is trying to love life like me
I didn’t **** myself because I love life too much
It is awful to bully kids like quadan bayles who was bullied and he wanted to end his life but his mother showed the stupid bullies that Quaden bayles suffered from that and then he brought out the players at the football and got a trip to Disneyland and I think it is great how people rallied around him through his ordeal
I hate online bullies
They are stupid too
Bullying people they hardly know
And taking people’s money
Bullying is wrong
There is too much bullying in this world
It is stupid to bully people over what they look like or what their beliefs are
I think if more people were like me
Everyone will be happy
Cause I love my life too much to let any bully worry me
But I was a bit shy and sometimes let the bully take over
But I was never into killing myself
Dolly can’t do it but Quaden and all the other bully victims like me should
Tell them that they love life too much to let them worry me
Bullying is very very wrong
Fight this world from bullies

you see Steven Bradley and ronnie biggs are destroying the world at the moment

through tornadoes and shark attacks and heat waves and a fire storm in victoria which the

rain couldn’t stop, despite how it stopped, and then ronnie really was having a field day

with the big heat waves attacking the homes of many innocent people, you see Greame Thornes

current life Brian Allan, went to the great ocean road in 2012 and steven bradley used his power

to make every home destroyed, fortunately none of the people died but they are homeless and

that can be worst, well they might not be homeless, but still steven and Ronnie are having a field day

killing off the entire world, and the great ocean road was only the start, you see steven bradley and

Ronnie biggs were starting to make a tornado siege in Texas and demolishing homes forcing people

to be homeless, and then Stephen Bradley said, I have you i have you i have you,if we make the USA

bad, we can make Cronus suffer, and making cronus suffer was the main answer, and then the death

of Stevie Wright, which was made so he can get his hands on ronnie biggs and Stephen Bradley and force them

down but in hindsight, they he can’t stop them alone, and that is what he killed his body, but he had a great life

singing the party anthem called Friday on my mind and Evie let your hair hands down, well he wasn’t the only singer

who died on their way to battle the deadly tornado, you see Lemmy from the band Motorhead was getting sick of the tornadoes in the world

and sang a song to rid the tornadoes away from the after life, here it is

please please please i want the tornado gone

i don’t care how long it takes, it just ain’t welcome here

you see what the world doesn’t know what i know since my death

that all the old criminals down there in christiean hell

are causing problems oh yeah, i want to bring peace

and i want the devil to be calmed

my music was heavy but i ain’t as bad as the great

roninie Biggs and Stephen Bradley, they caused a lot of problems

please people of the earth, please take procautions

if you want to save your home and not want these satan criminals to win, well fine

but the police aren’t against you, please save yourselves

and don’t put the evil ronnie ‘Biggs and Stephen Bradley into the the police mans voices

because dudes it’s hard you see

I am not at all happy oh no not me

you see these criminals were evil, and that is not like my music

we need to calm these christians who think loud music is the work of the devil

i think i see Ted Bundy, and he is still killing despite being dead

and osama is having a field day making you guys hate muslims

dudes, all this isn’t easy to beat, like my mate Stevie Wright from a a band called the easy beats

we need to get together and stop these evil criminals,

because the only way if we can find eternal happiness is if we all worked together

please please please stop all the world, like heal the world and make it a better place

for me and Stevie and the entire human race, and micheal Jackson who sang that wonderful song

make this universe stronger for you and me, and i must tell you, stop evil stop evil

stop the evil spirits from terrorising our world, you see as i played my guitar really loud to hopefully calm Ronnie and Stephen down

I know it’s the weather, and i know it ain’t believable, but believe me, i wanted to die, to save the world from evil spirits

and this is causing a lot of problems with every member of the earth, and the earth can be destroyed if we don’t stop the evil

the way you stop the evil is get yourself fixed and think about your actions and get rid of the brian Allan word protectaselfer, ya know

all they care about is protecting themselves and not give a **** about anyone else and Stevie Wright sang

we are going to have fun on new years eve la la la la la la la la la

get with the girls who are so pretty la la la la la

and don’t get too drunk man it’s not real cool, it just takes the man out of you

and as we are getting close to new years eve, we are hoping that nothing known to man takes away the problems of nye

and Lemmy and Stevie wright get together to create the peace of this entire earth, and tara is starting to cause problems

with the earth, saying our future is going to be bad, when the world is too wrong for Tara

so Lemmy from Motorhead and Stevie Wright gathered together on Jupiter where Stephen Bradley and Ronnie Biggs are

to force the tornadoes to not cause too many problems, but bad guys are powerful up here, and the best thing to do is

just be yourself and protect each other on earth and enjoy themselves and stop the reign of evil which is happening in the cosmos

I think this person who wrote on
Lauren Jackson’s Instagram who
Made her feel bad about praising
Kobe Bryant was totally awful
You see maybe he might not have been nice to all, or have a past
But we all have a past and people who are known as cowards
Shouldn’t wait until someone is dead to post horrible comments on Instagram
You see a lot of kids liked him and
Looked up to him
And despite what he was like to some people’s opinion he should be treated with dignity
Because to me Kobe Bryant was a basketball hero who loved life
It is a shame that he is now dead
Lauren Jackson wanted to pay a tribute to the great man
And yes, I called him a great man
Because he went somewhere with his daughter he died with his daughter
He was a real family man a great man
It is a shame he had to end his life like that
I am paying tribute to him too
I am doing a woollen tapestry of him and his daughter and the other people on the helicopter flying up to heaven or nirvana where the colours
Really are bright and Kobe deserves that so if you want to leave nasty messages on Instagram just think
About whether you have a past and whether you will want to air your ***** laundry when you die
Leave Kobe Bryant alone dudes

I want to work at the baseball


Hi everyone, it's me again, and I am telling you this
You see, mate I want to work in the USA at a MLB game
I don't care what match, oh no, whether it's dodgers, or Marlins
Or even the New York Mets or Yankees
I just want to work at the baseball, man
And if I don't, I will get a little cranky
I want to help out at the front gate and check tickets, yeah that's good
And after the game starts, oh yeah, I want to sell ice creams
Yeah that sounds so divine, and everyone will like me
As I sit here waiting to sell them, oh yeah
I will sell to little Timmy, and Fiona, Nicole and little baby Clare
I walk up and down the grandstands saying these simple little words
Ice creams, ice creams, anyone for ice creams, only $2 for 1
Kids were running all over the place, trying to buy one off me
And suddenly this became very busy, I can hardly breathe
After that rush I told someone, that when I die
I will bring baseball to the afterlife, and any nut can play it
Cause up there, we don't need food, water or worry about being fit
Leave that for our earth, bodies to worry about
We can fly around, from planet to planet
Playing 5 hour games, and we can score very high scores
And strike out a lot as well
You see when Ronald Reagan died, he played baseball for Mercury
And he scored 1 home run and then he was struck out ever since
I also saw a baseball star, and he was ****** good
He got three home runs, and then after that he struck out
Their best batter they had, and after he finished doing that
He went into the tent, and he arrived there
When I started working there as a volunteer barman
Where I will sell the beer and spirits
I did that for the rest of the night
Right to the stroke of midnight, and I felt so good about that, oh yeah
And then our very first president, George Washington said, let me batter up, and while George was on Saturn playing baseball against Jupiter and playing well indeed, his earth body was playing at this baseball match I worked at, and Buddha made us meet, you George scored 4 home runs, and this batter scored 4 home runs, and this was the most exciting moment in my entire life
And I will always say to myself
I want to work at the baseball, where I can feel I can really become involved with a sport as good as this, oh yeah


Sent from my iPhone

You see some people from the Catholic Church who love and adore babies gets a bit nervous if a priest
Gets a woman pregnant the right way
Saying it is against morals of the church and they talk to people who have babies all the time
And enjoy it but if a priest creates a baby with a woman they give him the stare as if he is against the Catholic Church and I think it is absolutely stupid how the Catholic Church are against the priests conceiving especially when the think it is normal to have *** with children
Children are vonerable and young
Too young for ***
I think the Catholic Church should change the rule against priests from conceiving because everybody has crazy hormones and everyone will want to have *** but if priests can’t have ***, they will choose children which is totally wrong and at least if they had *** with people their own age, they could talk about it like other Christians do and it will work
Don’t trust Catholics because priests have to be celebate which means no ***, so dudes, if you love babies like me so much, let the priests have *** too because children are too young to be abused by priests life won’t change if the catholic law doesn’t

Let’s celebrate Christmas
With a good mate to talk to
About the year that was
The year that is and the year that will be
Party all through the night
At your office Christmas party
And then listening to very good
Singers in the choirs enjoy life through song
Then you head to the Christmas parade and cheer out very loud and strong as the floats clowns
And marching bands
Come playing down the road
Go to the annual carols night
And the kids will see Santa in the flesh
And then have Christmas parties and dinners yes that sounds so cool
Drinking beer eggnog and punch and decorating the tree with pretty colours from all over the place
Watching the carols on tv
As you open up your presents saying we wish you a happy Christmas and a happy holiday
While school is off and so is most work places and the cricketers are preparing for their test on Boxing Day as well as the rich yacht men going from Sydney to Hobart yes but Christmas is the best and then we celebrate the end of the year with a big party and fireworks all over the the world

It is party time and we have some fun
Drinking taquila with a dose of milk and having a bbq with your mates and that is really cool
And then you go off to the park and watch a band playing on the parks stage at the party in the park and after that we went to watch the Tropfest short movie competition and we saw some very interesting singers and movie producers, man that is really cool, and then we took our cameras and camcorders to the beach to host our own YouTube vlog and after that we saw some very good dancers in the parade singing
Oh the grand old duke of York
He had 10-000 men
He matched them down to the
end of the road
And he marched them down again
When they were up they were up
And then when they were down
They were down
And when they were only half way up they party because it is a club
And they got ******
And they played the pokies
And they had a cuppa with a doughnut saying let’s party dude

You see Tim McGrath was getting teased by Mark and Ryan whilst jonithan was filming the whole thing on his iPhone
And Tim said ******* I don't deserve to be treated like this
You see I am trying to enjoy life
And you **** are trying to push me down and then Tim said I don't wanna get teased like this because I am a family person who doesn't deserve this inappropriate teasing
Ryan said how about I give you a nice kick up the *** whilst Mark said as I pass by your head I will  knock your brains right out of your head and Tim said I don't want this awful teasing to keep going because I do a lot of good for this country
You see everyone presumes Tim hates people partying but nothing could be further from the truth because Tim was the party animal a bit like me I guess and Tim hated people treating him like someone who is against partying and like me Tim said he was the party animal of the world a bit like Brian Allan but Mark and Ryan was having fun teasing Tim whilest jonithan filmed the whole thing with a big smirky smile on his face and Tim was sad because nobody likes him
And they want him an object for social media and Mark Ryan and jonithan were laughing as they humiliated poor old Tim

robots helping us



you see it’s been a wanted thing for generations

but i saw on TV  that they have already built robots

to help the elderly, ya know, by getting them a drink, so to speak

there are many things robots can do around your home

i am a messy dude too, and i have cleaners cleaning my house

but robots can do a lot more, than w2hat your think they can do

well, robots in the kitchen helping the elderly

the sky’s the limit, how about robots to clean the mentally ill persons house

yeah, it could help, we are still in the planning stages

but it’s good that they are still bringing robots for help around the house

everyone wants that, but it’s not as easy as live in with a robot helping you

a robot can turn itself into a computer, to allow you to watch stuff on youtube

and get educated, i am feeding my stuff on youtube, for the future robots

can see me as a cool figure or authority figure

computers should stop violence, if your video contains violence, youtube should rid that

not my content, get over it copyright people, violence is much much worst

there is nothing wrong wit parties, as long as they ain’t violent

this robot can help get rid of violence in cyber space, if more can get it

think about it, Robots can get your housework done while your out

you program it, to what you want him to pick up, it’ll be pretty ****** rad dudes

that little robot vacuum, is to small, but you can get this world full of robots by the year 3000

if everyone can tell their story, ya see, everyone is different, not everyone knows much about what robots should do, yet

not everyone agrees with my work, but, think about it, the robot can be programmed to pick up your *******

and take it to the curve, always understanding, how to sort out the ******* yeah

i would love a robot to help me, like everyone, will love a robot to help them

robots can make you love life more easier, i love life now, but robots can ease my cleaning woes

these words say, robots need people to help and understand people, by physically helping them

as opposed to hearing it’s not good to help them

that is whjy i am interested in gungahlin’s common ground, to cook for them, learn from them

so the year 3000, can create a perfect robotic world

when ya think of people robots, don’t think get someone off their *****

no, no no you have to feed the internet all your stuff, ok, even paranormal

cause the internet is interested, no matter

don’t worry about how many views, think of the future with robots

and believe in reincarnation, buddhist style, every blade of grass

got a thought, tell the internet, or the computer word document

CATCH YA LATER DUDES

I hate life insurance commercials
They drive me up the wall
I know they focus families
Helping each other
But you have to pay a heap
You see this lady with her poxley old smile
I know it shows the happiness she feels using life insurance
But she looks so ****** poxley
I am getting sick of those commercials because the world
Won't improve if we got it
In fact the world will be losing more money time after time
They just try and rip your money from you and plan to never give it back to you
Even if they say they will, they won't because the life insurance people are big rich ****** who don't give a hoot about us
I wish they would get rid of life insurance adds cause they can drive a good man nuts
When they ring you they try and keep you talking on the phone until they sign you up
It drives you nuts and there is the fact those conversations never happen unless you think you are going to die
No, any insurance is a scam
To get ordinary Aussies to spend all the cash to suppossingly make their after life better for the people they leave behind WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP there is a chance that something will go wrong
You see your family might be put in debt waiting for the money no,
Life insurance is a total scam
Please dudes, don't get ****** in

Back in the day when I was a kid
I seemed to like young people more than the. Adults
I thought they were cooler
I thought I was cool
I didn’t want my mum and dad to ruin it for me
I liked my friends more because
They went to the sports events with me
And we danced at school socials
And we camped out in the backyard
My friends didn’t feel the same way
They liked adults and young people equally
You see I have visions of my mucking
With young people instead of adults
Might be the cause of my delusions
Like might have forced my mind to go crazy in 2004 and 2013, because after the event of the police coming to my house in 2004 after the cat incident
The young people of my past said to me we don’t like you anymore mate
You see I loved cartoon shows
My parents didn’t but the young people did
I liked partying and acting like a clot
My parents hated it
And young people mucked with me
I thought church was for nerds
Because young people I respected told me so
My parents said I should do what I want
I agree now
I didn’t really want to wear suits
Because I will be treated like a nerd
But my parents thought I would look good in it
I drank beer and ate chips
Cause the voices of my friends were urging me on
My parents hated it
I used to fight them for that
I have no idea why I did that
I thought I was uncool looking back at it
I only liked music that my friends liked
And anything my parents liked was crap, I feel different about that now
Because the music my parents listened to was music from their era
Just like me
I wanted to go to the clubs and dance
And get drunk
While my parents were worried sick
I expected my parents to cook for me
Cause the young people told me too
I am different now
And all that could be the reason
I pass out during exercise and when I get up from my chair and why I get really fat, I need to face my fears of being like the adults and grow up
If I pass out I need to just relax and sit down

LITTLE BARMAN IN THE CITY

SAYS LOOK AFTER THE LITTLE KIDDIE

HELP HIM UNDERSTAND HIS MUM

AS SHE TRIES TO HELP HIM YEAH

HELP ME HELP ME HELP HE SAID

BEFORE ANY ROBBER DESTROYS US

COME LITTLE KIDDIE COME TO ME

AND BE AS HAPPY AS CAN BE

YA SEE LITTLE KIDDIE LOOK AT ME

YA SEE YA DRINK TOO MUCH TEA

YOU NEED TO DETOX THAT LITTLE DRUG IN TEA

THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY AS CAN BE

HELP ME HELP ME HELP HE SAID

BEFORE YOUR FATHER SHUTS YOU UP

COME LITTLE KIDDIE, COME WITH ME, AND REALLY PARTY

LITTLE GARDEN OUT THE BACK OF THE PUB

OWNED BY THE REALLY RICH SNOBS

THEY WANT NOTHING FROM ME, BUT MONEY YEAH

TO MAKE THEM HAPPY AS CAN BE

HELP ME HELP HELP ME, HELP HE SAID

BEFORE THE ROBBER SHOOTS ME DEAD

COME LITTLE YOUNG DUDE COME WITH ME,

AND BE AS HAPPY AS CAN BE

BE AS HAPPY, BE AS HAPPY BE AS HAPPY AS CAN BE

HELP ME HELP ME HELP HE SAID,

THOSE OLD KODGERS, ARE BIG *******

COME LITTLE YOUNG YOUNG DUDE, PLAY WITH ME

AS HAPPY AS CAN BE

You see it is fun to tease a man at work
Especially when they work on the lords day
You see back in 2014 I went to a school to sing carols with everyone
And as I was waiting for the bbq
A little kid called be a little scaredy cat
But Patrick will never come to the city
For the Mgr and he is the person ones
Who is scared of poor people
Because I am not scared of poor people
I like them
But patrick is so scared they travel
Close to them
I know Tuggeranong is where the
Working class live
But Patrick is scared of civic
Because the men are swearing
And using rotten bad language
But pat will never come to civic
And he is scared
But I ain’t afraid to go to city
Because I am SMART
So calling me a little scaredy-cat
When I ain’t is wrong

Little young dude
Sitting there being scared of the world
Trying to love life
But he is getting bullied oh yeah mate yeah
You see this dude just sitting there
With his knife making people
Too scared to walk there
Even if it is daytime mate
He will still just sit there
Wondering why people are too busy for him
You see if he gets bored with his knife
He will read a book about evil
Till it is time to go home
But he is in no rush
He just sits there thinking about
Where his life as gone
But he is a little young dude
I say I wanna help him
Understand that the worlds a good place
Little young dude
You are so lonely
I wish you had a friend
I would be your friend
But you might use me
And dominate my apartment
And I will be the hated guy in town

One day in a fictional town of claxton hill lived a lovely community with 3 farms and local bar and a school and a milk bar and 7/11 store and there was no hospital in claxton hill, just two RFDS doctors Peter Wilson and Wayne wardmen who are the official doctors of claxton hill and if anyone needs a doctor or needs a hospital they send them via the RFDS chopper, and today the vets office who is run by Esme Tobin who is very unorganised for a vet, but fortunately the new vet (Mark Sargent) is driving in his car and at present 20 minutes away from claxton hill, he loves heavy metal music as he rides down the road with AC/DC on his radio the song is heatseeker, and mark is booping along to it as he drives down the road meanwhile back in his office robbo markson is helping esme clean the vets office and Esme played in the mood whilst cleaning and Robbo said how about when we finish the cleaning we go to the pub to have a counter lunch and a bourbon and coke while we wait for the vet and while thru were cleaning farmer harriett came in to get the new vet to look at Brutus her pig
Because he isn’t eating much lately and she feels there is something wrong with him and mark had thunderstruck on as he enters the milk bar to get a caramel milkshake and the owner (Brad Tillett)
Said g’day what do you want, Just a caramel milkshake please and a large hot chips with salt and vinegar and mark waited for 20 minutes and then after that went over to the vets office and Esme and Robbo were finishing up cleaning and mark turned up saying hello I am your new local vet Mark Sargent and Tommy roe bought his dog to be checked by the new vet and introduced himself and mark said he looks fine and grabbed a cup of coffee and then said is my assistant Esme here and she said here I am, what do you want me to do, well I need you here to guide me through what I need and esme said farmer harriett wants to see if you can take care of butch her pig because his appetite isn’t very good but first I have to find the pub where I will be staying and Robbo said I will show you where it is, I am their regular customer and then he said how about ee order a counter lunch with me and Esme and Esme gave mark the list of the 3 farms so he knows where they are
First he visited the roe farm Just to get his bearings and had a cuppa there and after that he went to the yolksman farm and he has 14 sheep and 15 chickens and 4 cows  and he had a coke there and then went to the soosement farm to look at her pig and it seems the pig has a ****** problem and that makes him not much hungry and then he went back to the vets office dropped off his bag and drove to the pub and met the owner (Tom butler) and he dropped his luggage of a tv and a computer and clothes in his room and went down to have a coke in ice and started to get to know the locals and mark shared the same music interest as John Kenneth who owned the 7/11, mind you the first day was tiring for mark getting to know everyone as he does but he went to bed and relaxed

What a shame
Oh what a shame
The footy is suspended
It will be different to not have sport on the television
But it has to be done
Oh yeah it has to be done
What a absolute shame
That the footy isn’t on for a while
The stupid coronavirus got rid of the footy
At least for a few months
Could be more well it is more likely
To be more
Just when the raiders are playing their better game
They can’t prove themselves
To be a great premiership winning team no more
No, the footy is over
And we have to cope without watching footy on tv
Or watching it at the ground
Or in the pubs and clubs
I remember way back in 1914 to 1918 in my previous life, when I was Albert Waldron life was hard
I was suffering
We didn’t have social media to keep us occupied back then
We had to deal with it
Now it is coming back to my mind
But knowing we do have tv and radio and social media like Facebook and YouTube to keep us informed
Back then we had to line up outside news offices to find out more
We were struggling but now we have television and all other technology to keep us informed and I remember hating every day but somehow we survived
But now we need to just keep our eyes on the news, by golly, we didn’t have it back then
From
Albert Waldron great south Australian footballer way back then

I freeze as I lift my head
It could be my emotions
Watching various tv shows
You see as I concentrete on something my head just freezes
And also my head will look up
I find it hard to walk outside as
My brain gets all blurry
I feel the only thing I can
Do is take drugs but I hate drugs
My brain will Just freeze
Like there is a brain tumour
In there
I feel like doing things and
I feel tired probably
You see when I look up
I just freeze it could be
Due to tiredness
It could do with the fact
I never had ***
As I writing this I feel the head looking up and freezes my Brain
I need to stop looking up it will be hard though

I like doing crossstitch
It is fun and you could
Put a picture on it which is cool
You don’t do it all day and night
You do have to sleep
And you have to make sure the
Art is being done
I don’t want to be a crazy adult
Who finishes it for the night
And gets up again
Do the crossstitch
Go to bed
Do the crossstich
Go to bed
You will end up looking like a drongo
If you did that
And you will be a crazy adult
I want to do everything I do
Just then I watched a concert and
I did crossstitch while watching
My life with the Walters on Netflix
And then go to bed
Do crossstitch the next day
And besides which there is a party
On Jupiter
Ready to party

Ooh I love you
I love you more than me
My love for you goes for
5-000-000 cups of tea
You see love is a word you use
To totally enjoy yourself
Like counting your numbers from zero right up to 12
You see love is a very particular  fellow it comes at you with a nice mushy kiss
Love really makes you really love life oh ****** yeah it does
I want to have a can of beer
And a scratch from one ear to the next
And then you scratch your belly and say I am ready for the next stage of love
I am lover of good food and good beverages and a good
Way to get home after a great night in the club
I wanna have a beer and I wanna have a cake and a packet of crisps oh yeah that sounds great
I will drink those 5-000-000 cups of tea in style mate
Like in a cup with a saucer
And the colour has to be red
Don't give me another colour
Red is the only colour I want
Love stretches in so many ways
Like drinking beer to red cups and saucers and many more mate you just sit and wait sit and wait my good man

you put your wagon wheel down, so you can piddle on your car

go off to the pub to buy a pina calada oh yeah

you see we party all night long

and we never lose our marbles

and when we drink water we fucken gargle

you see i am trying to fight off my desire to eat breakfast cereal at 9 at night

can’t be too good for you, but i ate peaches and nectarines so cool

you see i have a big yawn at the sight of stupid old timers

i like looking at you tube videos of my nannas new life, john robert rimel

you see i am partying at the pub and screaming as i say

we just sit here, all fucken day

saying, i will sit here sit ****** here

saying you are nothing but a big buffoon

you see up up and away in a big red balloon

trying to sing songs from the album of tim minchin

not perfect and fat children and some people have it worst than i

that man inspired me to live my life being a total cool dude

you see i am trying not to **** anyone off, but really it’s hard when others don’t share your opinion

i try to be respectful as i talk to them, but i like talking to them, and sometimes it’s good to laugh

i don’t mean much from that

i don’t want to fight at the mall with the big strong man

i prefer to be at home on the internet watching TV

really, i have to fight my eating urges i have by saying, STOP STOP STOP

I do believe in buddhism and the paranormal too

but i don’t want to cross both of them, because that can cause

like i sang fly burgers are good enough to eat

we go around saying hello to everyone we meet

the internet is cool as well as TV too

but i hate reality TV, it makes me wanna spew

up the world and love life with me

Guess my gender
Will you please
Before we tell you
Having fun decorating the room
Any colour will do
If it is black
Do you think
That it would be dark
If it is green
Will it match the grass
Out in the park
Light blue my friend
Would be good
Yes that is so good
Oh my darling won’t you please
Give me my fucken food
Don’t wait till the gender date
Cause I am hungry now
But you must wait till we name
The gender cause
The meal will be suited
Each one
Love the gender no matter what
And always will oh yeah
I will love the gender
Yes I will
Have a lot of fun
Beer and wine and spirits yeah
And a special gift
To the gender I choose
Oh my oh my oh my darling
Please my dear
Getting drink Down ya
If it is a boy give a dark
And the girls choose light
But what if the gender you get
Wants to change the rules
Just except it like a man
And don’t you be a fool
Love love love
The gender and we will always will

I love the little young dude
Because he is pretty cool
He will party really hard mate
And never break any rules
C’mon dudes the club is waiting
For you to come in the doors
And I love to eat ice cream
Yes and that makes me smile
I love the little young dude
Yes, I party all night
Partying is great
For Henry the 8th
And if you are lucky
To go back to those times
It will be party time all night
Move mate move mate
C’mon little young dude
Move from start to finish
This is cool
You break no rules
I love the little young dude
As he sits on the chair
Watching the baseball

Heal Australia make it better, mate
Bring rain to put out the fires
In NSW, VIC, and kangaroo island
Too many homes and businesses
Are ceasing mate it isn’t really good
There were people dying and koalas losing homes make the world better, mate for me and for you
You see batemans bay is losing tourists mate it is bad it is sad oh yeah that is pretty bad oh yeah
The local fish and chip shop getting no customers and losing business each and every day
And the whole street totally deserted mate, which is unusual for the town of batemans bay you see
People losing homes and it’ll be pretty hot tomorrow and the Clyde mountain still has fires yeah and it is causing problems yeah I feel for everyone there it is sad
Heal Australia from these evil spirits
Of amrosi and milat and osama oh yeah we need to bring a storm
But no lightning no
Just a storm to put out the blaze
Come on rain this is important yeah
Fires are still going and we need more flaming rain
Sport is being cancelled because of smoke and that spoils the local community yeah
Come on rain keep the blaze from hitting Canberra
It will be hot tomorrow so please don’t bring these evil spirits over here
Just make everyone take procautions
To get every flame out and then bring the storm to get rid of each blaze
And send these evil spirits right to hell
And kick them out of this country
Just get rid of the fires
Everywhere it is burning with a big storm oh yeaaaah

You see I was looking for beautiful woman to snuggle up with but nobody wanted to be with me, no matter how hard I tried I could never get the perfect woman, so I decided to
Make up a whole woman out of my mind, and everything turned out well until it became time for the woman to meet the parents
And this was the hard bit
Because I didn't want to bring a new woman in forcing her to pretend to be by lover because
Things could get ****** weird
And at that moment in time I was too shy to find the perfect woman and one guy told me
If you want a woman to keep for your very own join an internet group, you won't be hassled or anything because most of them
Just want companions and they can't find companions in anyone they see around them
And I said how am I going to do that because nobody wanted to be my companion
I am a regular guy
I like having fun
And I like sports
And partying to cool music
It's just that I like my own style
Of partying
I don't want people to gatecrash it
I also like doing art
And I know there is a woman out there for me
But I find it hard because I don't
Want any hassles
So I find my made up woman is better even if I could appear a tad shy to try something that
You heard could  be dangerous
At least the made up woman doesn't judge you
And doesn't make fun of you

HI DUDES


I HAVE JUST DONE A COOKING SHOW, WHERE I COOKED MY FAMOIUS PIZZAS

YOU SEE I COOKED THE PIZZA, WHILE I LISTENED TO IRON MAIDEN

I LIKE TO COOK PIZZAS, ACTUALLY PIZZAS WAS A MEAL I COOK FOR PEOPLE

LIKE MATES AS THEY COME OVER, CAUSE

I AM UP WITH THE YOUTUBE JUNKIES

ON AAA YOUTUBE TV, YOU’LL FIND THE VIDEO

SO WATCH TO SEE ME MY FAMOUS PIZZARIA

MANNERS, it is hard trying to behave, ya see

you go out without having a shave

forgetting to wear your deodorant

hearing the words BEHAVE, BE GOOD, DON’’T MISBEHAVE

DON’T SWEAR, i think swearing can be cool, because they are just words

eat nicely with a knife and fork

don’t burp your drink, don’t chew your shirt

chew your food with your mouth closed

don’t share family stories on Facebook

don’t stick your tongue out it’s rude

why is it important to have manners

i know that manners can help, yeah make you into a robot

you hear the words, get ya fingers out of your mouth, it’s discussing

manners manners manners

nobody really needs manners

they won’t help you they won’t help you

we will never need manners

You see when my brother was born
I didn’t like him crying
I thought there was something wrong with
Him
But despite all that after my terrible ordeals in
The 60s, Cronus made me an intellectual disabled man, but I felt normal
I liked the morning cartoons
And play school and Sesame Street as well as romper room
It took me a while sorr out my bowel movement
Anul leakage, that was very embarrassing for me and mu brother, just being a kid played with my games with his mates and I wasn’t playing it, I liked watching my fave television shows just like a normal kid, my brother tried to break my Batman mask after I broke something of his
We fought a lot when we had the same room, both of us needed our own space and I used to try and kiss all the boys but I only kissed 1, who was David turner, and when I wanted to watch the right on music program, my brother turned the tv over to the banana splits, which wasn’t too bad, another show we liked was the Mickey Mouse club, despite me and my brother watching, we bought the showbsg of it and all, we also bought the CHiPS, which was a show about two motor cycle club, and they had fake radios and I told the family I was talking to
The motorcyclists on the track and my brother no
Your not and me and my brother had two Fonzie jackets and I said Fonzie had a disguise and my
Brother said no he doesn’t and my dad said this Fonzie does and when mr and my
Brother were trying to get out of the pool,
My brother got out and when he couldn’t make it he pushed the thunder tube into me to make me not get out too, I had a friend Lyle who did things with our family, I played cricket with him and we went on a train and every time Lyle went to the toilet, he couldn’t figure out how to get
Out and I had to guide him out of the toilet because was my friend and I was having problems at the YMCA, because there I was my
Brothers brother, all the boys liked my brother more than me, it might be because I pooed my pants, but I couldn’t help it, I grew up and developed schittzophrenia

The pressure in my Arms is hurting
I don’t know why oh no
I just feel this pressure
Maybe I am thinking of drinking
And being fought by the men
I hate that feeling it drives me insane
I just say I am a medicated fool
Who loves life really I do
Cool man eat my shorts
I don’t drink I don’t smoke
So why are my arms aching
I don’t deserve it, no
I believe in family life
I like partying but I hate getting too drunk
I like looking strong but I hate being fought by the men
I don’t want this pressure to strike my arms
Because I am a family person yeah
I like footy but not fighting the crowd
And I like cheering but not around people too loud
I just wanna be a medicated fool oh yeah
Yes yes yes yes that is me
I was ok when I was on melleril because it started me medicating right
Better on largactil and haloperidol because that calmed me down even more
I hated risperadal because I got crazy look ups from anxiety but largactil sort of was helping
I liked seroquel but I hyped me up
I liked eppelim because it was trying to calm me down
I like being on seroquel and haloperidol because it calms me down but
It brings back some of my bad thoughts from my drinking but I write the bad stuff out of me
I am cool I am not getting fought by the men
And I live my life right

hi dudes

i had a blood test and it showed i have high cholesterol and the doctor put me on

rosuvastatin, 20 mg, it might be because i am fat, but i listen to doctors cause they know best

and i know athena is working to make look at me eating healthy food and go for walks even

if i look like i am ready to bed, yes i don’t show much energy, and i can be lazy at times

but taking 1 tablet at night on top of my mental illness medication seroquel and serenade

a lot of people call them quacks, but all i want is to live longer and inspire others to do the same

because doctors took an oathe to help you, and athena is working up in outer space to keep me relaxed

at night, not like other people who stress about exercise trying to copy me, well, ya know what i hate

well i hate the police officer who bashed that little girl for texting, i know he is a police officer but in that

situation he was a basher, i went for a walk around my suburb at 3.15 pm today, despite people saying i should

sleep, but i want to get better, and yes, i know i will go to another life anyway, i still prefer to be a human in my next life

so i can get on television, and be really famous, this weekend is halloween and i will do a show, whether i do it on photo booth

and transfer it over to youtube later on, as i have been having problems with youtube lately, but i want the show done

because then i can entertain people, you see i had a tooth extraction and it fucken hurts as i chew, but i take a panadol

to try and ease it, the dentist said, be patient, for it will go away, yes today i was going for a denture fitting

i have a vision of my best mates from school trying to get me to do what i used to do, because i was a tad weird

and i need seroquel and serenade and hosuvastatin, for my cholesterol and athena operating on me when i sleep, i will

hopefully might start to get better, you see high cholesterol is dangerous and i love life too much to die yet, and there

are many things i need to do, before i move to my next life like

1 totally clean my brain from evil thoughts

2  do shows on youtube and photo booth, to hopefully make my next life cool

3  lose me excitement that others are sick

4  eat as healthy as you can

5  keep saying to your angry voices, i am a happy dude, you seem to be an angry dude, a very very very angry dude

6  i want to be a part of many theatre performances and keep doing poetry slams

7  lose that voice, you are like mummy brian, from dads voice and the cool kids

8  i had fun being like the big mens kids back when i was young, but i want the voices to understand, i am grown up

9  keep taking my medication , so athena can help heal my hurts

you see if i do all this, my next life will be cool and famous

i am famous in a way, of being an artist a writer and a youtube partner, i want more

but if i follow all this, my next life will be popular, but i am looking after myself in a sort of a way

i feel popular now

bye dudes

MY MEDICATION WORKS, BUT WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT SIDE EFFECTS




WELL, IF YA SIDE EFFECT IS MOVING HANDS, DO SOMETHING CREATIVE LIKE I DO

TO TAKE THE ADNOMALITIES OUT OF YOUR HANDS

IF YA SIDE EFFECTS ARE MAKING YA HUNGRY

GET HYPED UP AND WRITE STORY BY STORY ABOUT YOUR LIFE

INSTEAD OF DWELL IN EACH ASPECT OF YOUR PAST

IF YA SIDE EFFECTS MAKE YOU ANGRY AT YOUR VOICES

TRY AND WORK THROUGH IT, LIKE YOU ARE ALWAYS GOING TO ******* SOME POOR SOUL

WHETHER YOU MEAN IT OR NOT

IF YOUR SIDE EFFECTS MEAN YOU ARE JUMPY

JUST WRITE STORIES AND DO ART, TO REL;AX YOURSELF

IF YA SIDE EFFECTS HAS VOICES SAYING YOUR JUST AS MESSED UP AS THE NEXT PERSON

JUST, TRY AND DROWN YOUR VOICES IN A GOOD BOOK, A DVD BLURAY

GAMES CONSOL, TAPESTRY YOUTUBE SPORT ON TELEVISION OR ANY OTHER TV SHOW

AND IF YA MEDICATION HAS VOICES SAYING, DON’T TAKE YOUR MEDICATION THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YA

LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE, TRY TO WRITE PROBLEMS AND DELLUSIONS OUT OF YA

IF YOU ARE HEARING PEOPLE RIOT OUTSIDE, THE BEST THING IS THINK THEY ARE PARTYING

DOESN’T ALWAYS WORK, BUT REALLY THINKING POSITIVELY ABOUT PEOPLE OUTSIDE IS MUCH BETTER

THAT THINKING THEY ARE RIOTING OUTSIDE, MY MATE THINKS THEY ARE RIOTING,

HE SAYS HE IS TRUTHFUL, BUT HE’S NEGATIVE, BUT THINK PEOPLE ARE PARTYING

IF YOU HAVE SIDE EFFECTS OF THE DEAD TEASING YOU, WRITE THE POSITIVE STORY

OUT OF YOU, TO SAY, THAT SLIM DUSTY IS ALIVE AND WELL, AND LIVING IN MY HEAD

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH SLIM HERE

YEAH I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH SLIM

BUT WITH MY MEDICATION AND MY PAST

IT COULD BRING DELLUSIONAL VOICES AGAIN

AND SEND ME TO THE PSYCH WARD, WHERE THE CRAZY PEOPLE ARE

BUT THEY ARE ONLY CRAZY CAUSE THE SYSTEM DOESN’T LIKE THEM

FROM A ****** FAR

SO I CHUCK A METHANE SMOOTHIE ON DAD YEAH

AND SAY HAVE A GREAT NEXT LIFE

SLIM DUSTY IS ALIVE AND WELL AND LIVING IN MY HEAD

CAUSE I SING ABOUT PARTYING, AND I PARTY IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER

LIKE A COOL DUDE DOES

men are singing in my head singing lyrics of tim minchin with me

you see they will play this music singing with me saying it is my body

and i live in it, it’s 7 parts  skin and 13 parts water and the men are

laughing with me saying it’s my body and i live in it

you see despite us partying and vomiting blood yeah

you see it is my body and it’s fine, ya see i fill it completely with wine

and i live in the dark side and every man was saying yeah your cool

just like this singer tim minchin, he is so radical, dude

i can have a dark side i can have a dark side, i can have a dark side

2 poofs and 300 virgins, well the men are probably saying to me, tim minchin sux

but i think tim min chin rules, dudes

i think that tim minchin is radically awesome dude, you see the men are singing tim minchin

with me, because i am still a family person, and it’s true i am a family person

i wrote a letter to yin din olin and he told me i was the worst person i have ever met

then the men said, tim minchin is cool man and i said, yeah he is

and this is my earth and i am proud of it

i walk around the earth picking up ***** off shoes

and then i use turpentine to squeeze all the hooligan out of me

but i know it’s hard oh it can be mighty hard, dad never became involved with my sports when i was a kid

he made it up to me as an adult, but i was always a pure cool family person, he didn’t understand me

i liked playing basketball, i liked playing ten pin bowling, it made me feel like cool guy

you see i feel comfortable with the men who like heavy metal or tim minchin like when

i listen to him all the men say to me ummmmm you are cool, ummmmmm you are cool

you are going to live in paradise, with a 10 ft **** and a few hundred virgins

i hate people who don’t give money to the poor, but i don’t want to call them ***** because

i always believe in hard work, even if it is hard work cleaning my brain out

you see we are sticking a ***** up ya **** while tim min chin is singing it, and of course we feel cool

i tim minchin, he reminds me of fun and games with the young dudes

you see i was looking for a way to bring that atmosphere back, and tim brings it to me

my dad doesn’t understand what kind of cool kid i was trying to be like

tim is singing the good book, the good book is the best song, i like tim minchin

i am writing my old body out of me, but i am a person not a robot

a person who likes tim minchin

you see i liked daddy, he was a nice person on the couch, but dad to me in the 80s was a couch daddy

but i had to yell at him to get him to treat me like a family person, ya see i was teasing dad when

i was saying i was a hooligan, just a tease don’t ya know

i was teasing dad when i said, i wanna stab ya in the back

because i wanted heavy medallists to be men for me, NOT DAD, well, back then anyway

because, i believed in being cool, and i got vibes from dad, he didn’t wanna be cool

so i hear all the men singing with me, each song tim sang

ya know each song he sang,

dads wasn’t perfect, but buddha said love thy father

because you only get one and when he goes

i was going completely crazy, listening to tim minchin’s really cool music

and the men are laughing and joking with me, as i listen to the great tim minchin

ya see, there was so much i never told dad, and now it’s too late

because all the ladies in the house come on let me hear ya say ayoh ayoh

all the fellas in the house RAIDERS SUX, RAIDERS SUX

all the conservos in the house say MONEY MONEY MONEY

all the poor people in the house say WHERE IS OUR FUCKEN LOOT YA ******’ ******

i like the bearded men talking to me when i listen to tim, because he is totally radical dude

i am not discussed by the time in the 90s where all my personalities split out of my bodies

so i can choose what personality i take with me, i love heavy metal, so i sing heavy metal with those nice australian men

you see i hear voices of people saying i am someone people hate, but i want to be someone people like

i don’t want to sing heavy metal with dad, his next life betty campbell, will be in a different generation to me

the fad generation was dads, not mine, and i sang a song

not a dime, i cannot pay my rent

i can barely make it through the week

it’s saturday night, and it’s PARTY night

and i can meet a girl

but i struggle to make my ends meet

i am listening to tim minchin every day

he is totally radical dude

i feel i am in a cranky mood, but really i am in a happy mood yeah

happy like brian allan, and i am not a loser who takes drugs to get me by

i have no problem with people who take drugs, just respect my view that i don’t like taking drugs

the raiders sux, because the bulldogs beat them 41 to 34, and the swans beat the hawks

the men are singing tim minchin with me like they sang heavy metal music

i don’t wanna be someone people hate, i wanna be liked for being the person, i want to be

not the person that dad wanted me to be, not the person that hooligans wanted me to be

respect me, i want to be a cool party dude who LOVES TIM MINCHIN, radical STUFF

briano alliano performing at jupiter moon


hi dudes, and welcome to jupiter moon, and my first song is

i would love to relax with my tapestry, and write my stories

i don’t want to hear my old heavy metal mates saying they don’t like me

i still like heavy metal, yeah judas priest, iron maiden, metallica too

oh baked potato baked potato, oh yeah baked potato, yeah mate yeah

you see my tapestry is radical, and totally sick, yeah well, oh yeah

i love my life better, when i don’t look like an ogur

you see, my mates are telling me to hate life, then they say be like us

they want me to be an ogur, man, because, i go to sleep

when i go to the sleep, i perform up here

and i feel as flaky as anything, because, i am sick of a voice

god knows i am a person, i don’t deserve to be treated like a negative ****, oh no

i am positive, as i do my art, and write these songs, that make me feel so gay

i mean in the happy sense, hap hap happy, oh yeseree

i dressed up as bernette peterson, and i sang with marilyn monroe

you see i like watching soaps, yeah, that is rather grand

i want to watch my soapies, with my tapestry in one hand

you see i am a fella who loves life, oh yeah i feel so grand

you see, my dead mates treat me like a hooligan playing cool for yeah mate yeah kids

just because when i was a nasty kid, when i was playing with mates at school

i really looked at people wrong, i really shouldn’t stare

but the people said, sticky stare like a bear, i can see your underwear

i don’t care if they tear, then i can’t get another pair

and thanks dudes, here is my next song

8 4 6, i had no ***, my mates are treating me like a freak

i don’t understand, i still like heavy metal, judas priest rules, oh yeah mate yeah

my mum wants me to stop, well not really stop, just don’t step back

you see as i travel around the afterlife today, i see bon scott, and i say

wanna jam mate, wanna jam buddy, yeah

then i met micheal hutchence, and i said wanna jam to him

he said, maybe, but just remember, oh dude, your future is dim

846 i had no ***, my mates are treating me like a freak

i don’t understand, i like heavy metal and hip hop, dude

like eminem and bon jovi and def leopard, rules supreme

you see when def leopard sings for me, he tells me to pour some sugar on him

i say fine, that’ll be so rad, cause all my mates say i am bad, and i am

8 4 6 the street has no style, there are too many geeks, i wanna split

please buddha, please buddha, free me from my hole i live with geeks

but brian allan is no geek or he is no freak, he lives in a home full of cool

and now here is my next song

sugar oh yeah let’s party, oh honey honey, oh yeah let’s party yeah

you are my sweet candy man

and i want to squeeze ya melons yeah

sugar, oh yeah let’s party, yeah, yeah honey honey

you will make ,e enjoy my candy mate

and get home at half past 8

sugar, oh yeah mate, let’s party, yeah honey honey oh yeah come on

you will move on a quick party style

sugar, oh yeah yeah party on coca cola sugar, it’s the best party drink

and you can enjoy it, even if you ****** stink like a pig

sugar, oh yeah the best party food, oh yeah let’s party

the sugar is the perfect escape

you can enjoy it by being in a cave

thanks dudes and here is ian turps turpie

i stumbled across madame ruth, ya know that gypsy with the gold tapped tooth

if i lose my teeth when i am out to dine, ya can borrow mine

you see friendship oh friendship, just a cotton picking friendship

a bandit came from the shadows, pulled a black jack beside my head

he took my watch my ring my money i didn’t make a sound

but as soon as he touched my wine dear, i can be heard from blocks

cause i got ya in bed, i love your **** and the bits where they meet

but most of all i love ya head

you see we got a love potion number 9, ooooh yeah

ok, bye from briano alliano

briano alliano performing on saturn club rings

on saturday may 23 2015



hi everyone my name is briano alliano and welcome to saturn club rings

the first song is, i am sick with an infected mouth

you see i am trying to do the right thing

never put a foot wrong

but my mouth is infected by a caverty and a whole row of teeth that needs to be removed

i have just tipped a whole lot of methane on it

to take away the f..n pain

you see i have an infected mouth my dear

please buddha take it away

take it take it take it away

please lord buddha take it away

i am a man, a big big man, a mighty big man today my son

but my mouth is infected, i haven’t got a son, i am crazy i am crazy

please buddha remove my infection dude

don’t be rude, please buddha remove my infected mouth

i want to be as quiet as a mouse, a lazy looking louse, please

buddha remove this infection in my mouth

thanks dudes, and now here is a song i have cracked feet and an infected mouth

you see how i how i, can fucken handle life

i have work to do at the bbq, but they gave me an infected mouth

you see i didn’t ask for this, oh no i didn’t ask for it at all

you see my cracked feet and infected mouth are stopping me from being cool

i probably was drinking too much coke, i thought it was sugarfree

i could’ve been eating too many chips, oh yeah, oh yeah

my infected mouth is driving me crazy, making me feel very fucken lazy

i am watching the GWS play the adelaide crows this afternoon

after i get up from this dream

you see the feel of singing at saturn club rings

makes me feel like a really famous rock star

you see the antibiotics are working i think

last night i felt it completely went away

but it didn’t, i have to keep taking the course

and i have to miss doing the bbq because it could start up again

and force me to have a never ending infected mouth

and the men said to me, shut up, ya great big ugly snout

and now here is another number called infection infection

infection infection, why have i got this infection

it drives me really crazy, i feel really lazy

you see i am on antibiotics because that helps brings it down

and also the power of athena, makes sure you don’t suffer much for it

and i called out to athena, can you plkeae rid this, would you please stop this

****** infection, from taking too much control in my mouth

i hear my mates laughing at me ha ha ha your an allan or ha ha ha ha your like us, man

i told them i am a man with an infection, and it really hurting oh ****** yeah

infection infection, i am up here on saturn trying to drink methane to settle it down

and i have got a ****** infection dude, it drives me crazy man

i have got a ****** infection dude, i want to bring it down

you see i am up here in the cosmos, telling everyone i have an infection, dudes

party party party, till the day of the party man

here is my next song called called ******* YA ****, **** all you want

i have this infection, it drives me crazy

i wish it will go away dude

you see it’s terribly painful but i can handle it, please ******* ya ****

if ya don’t like ****, it’s just a word, please don’t judge me

as i am on antibiotics, dude, to get this infection out

please buddha, oh please buddha, get this infection out of me

you see at least i am not dead, you see i am just suffering

from weird lookups in my blasted head, i want them to stop

ya see athena, yeah, is a funny old soul, saying she will fix me up

you see my infection yeah was bad yesterday, and calmed today

but it’s still good i cancelled my plans yeah

because my infected mouth, is really sore, oh yeah, party all day long

and yeah, that is is that’s all there ain’t no more

yeah, how cools that

BRIANO ALLIANO PERFORMS AT JUPITER MOON


hi dudes and welcome to jupiter moon where i will chuck a methane smoothie all over dad

so he can stop treating me like him at home, you see last night dad used the old young dudes

tp say i am not like my mate pat anymore, no, don’t want to be a cool kid to my dad, but i can

clean my house to what i like, and nothing more, buddy, so if you treat me like dad, you must

except i want to be a poor man, because dads way will never work, he should work on betty campbell

here is cruising round with red bull


I see some sorry old soul walking around the town, with a leather jacket on and a red bull in his hand, you see he looks kind if ***** and ****** up in the head he also looks so droopy, too, he should be home in bed, he'll go into JB hifi, if they'll let him in, that is and then he'll notice his red bull can is empty, he didn't know what to do, and everyone is staring at him, he yells out really loud WHAT ARE YA LOOKIN' AT YA ******, and nearly gets into a fight, and he was going completely crazy, yes he was weird, so ran through the mall, saying, I have to get my red bull, I have to get my red bull, I have to get my red bull, it's a f..n matter of life and death, if I don't get a red bull now, I swear I'll **** someone, waddaya think of that, everyone was saying as he passed thinking this man is cool, I think he's a loser cruising around with his red bull
When he got his second can open it up and it squirted everywhere, and unknown to him that half the can was lost in that squirt, so he cruised around with his can saying howdy to the chicks and saying hi dudes to the chaps, and, man he felt so cool, as he went over to JB hifi, yes his red bull can was empty again, and he yelled out ****, this time he was really ****** violent, he knocked over an old lady going to the bank and punched a yeah mate yeah kid,  (nerd) in the gut, and he was like that all the way to the red bull shop, when he got their the red bull was sold out and the store clerk said we have red eye, mother or V, and he said I don't want those, they are woosey drinks, I only drink red bull, because about 1 hour the man was taken by the police, as he was cruising it gives me wings, as I left he saw a kid who bought the last red bull, and he offered him $50 for it, and the kid said, money comes and money goes, but this red bull stays with me forever, and he got violent threatening to **** him as such and the kid said, ok dude, keep ya shirt on, give me $50 for this can and I will give it to you, they exchanged what they had and the kid went to the police station to fill in a statement saying he was threatened by a crazy red bull ******, and in around with the kids red bull, the police took him away the kid identified him as the guy, whi would convert to violence, to be cruising around, oh yeah, yes, man cruising around with his red bull, what a loser

and now here is my next song, called go to bed little shy boy, because i feel like a hooligan with my itchy feet, and i feel like i am getting kidnapped on earth because i am a tad messy, cause dad will never help me, when i do work, i feel like a lady, well, ****** oath i am a
lady to a tease, but i don’t want to get teased though, so i am a man
You see, you are still a little shy boy, and we are still teasing you
So, now you are working, man, come, leave us
And let us muck around, we want to smoke our bongs
As well as drink our bourbons, and drink 100 beers
Yeah we all feel cool, and don't wake up little shy boy
We want the adults to not bother us, cause we are having so much
Fun, we don't want to be adults,and don't want you to worry about us either
You see, all the men, are sitting there, trying to muck with them
Saying tease him, if you want to tease, just teaee him
But at the end of the day, man, we aren't really teasing
We are sitting up all night, being bums and young bludgers
And it's because you are such a ******
We might be making it seemed you are getting teased
But, we really want to leave you alone,,if you leave us alone
Cause, we are drug addicts,,and we want you to respect the fact
That we don't want to work, as long as you think that you aren't a young bludger
Everything will be already, but young bludgers go to bed for work
So mate, just enjoy yourself, and smoke your bongs
And have a good time, doing it
You see, I want to enjoy ourselves doing this
You are now leaving us all on our lonesome
See ya dudes
yeah, i don’t wanna be a cool kid to tease so i say to you, shut up cockbreath, here is my next song


I am a man and other men are teasing me with the kids
This is driving me crazy, I told them that I am a man
And I don't stand for this kind of juvenile behaviour
You see the kids didn't listen to that, they just laughed
And for a while each man kept on trying to be mature adults
Which we all know they're not, said for the kids to leave me alone
And then said, he isn't a target for teasing
But then after 3 days, the men said, what the flaming ****
We are going to tease this ****** yuppie
Yes, we'll tease them with the kids
The kids would teaee and when you go to the men
The men will teaee them too. They will act like all other Australians
And tease you as well, yes and they will ****** find it ****** fun
You are suffering cause you haven't got many friends

And the kids are laughing, while the ******* men say
You are a fucken big old softie,and you are now with no friends
Then you get a knife and try to stab him
And after that you punch him in the back
And then you draw out your knife and threaten to slit his throat
If he doesn't stop fucken teasing him
But they go, I am teasing you, and that's the only way I am being



You see when I go out of my bedroom after having a night of ***
The kids ate teasing me, left right and centre
And I try to handle it, but it's so ****** hard for me to do
Because they are saying things like, I am going to bash you up
And giving me a pineapple drink which was ****** wee
close to you
So if the kiddies are teasing you, and you turn to me, to get me to muck with you
I will say, I ain't mucking with you, mate, neh
I am just teas---ase---ing you with the kiddies, you aren't like us, cause when we tease you
Mate, you can't handle it, and then you say, you are spastic, and dumb as well. And I will punch you with this metal part of my leather glove, to show you who can't fucken handle teasing, you **** of the earth, fucken man
Then you go to your room, and they don't talk to you anymore
Because they are treating you like a target to tease
And that drives me crazy. And i yelled out
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING THE MAN WHO IS GETTI NG TEASED BY MEN AND THE KIDS,  LEAVE ME THE **** ALONE
And they did, I am now a free spirit, no one can successfully taste me, never


yeah, i don’t wanna get teased by the men and kids, so i will be a hooligan oops, i am a cool person

you see, i am a polite man, hey, what did you say, you are protecting me with your hey, so i want dad to fly off, ok

have found a polite way to

I have found a polite way to say I love you even if I don't really mean it
I have found a polite way to tell you to ******* when you constantly bug me at my place of work, and that is treat him like an employee and then sack him, that'll work
I have found a polite way to tell someone that their weird without making them get upset
I have found a polite way to say to a right wing party that their policies stink by saying, you guys are a bunch of total perfectionists, who care nothing for the little guys
I have found a polite way to tell someone that they aren't the right sort of friend for me by saying, please mate, I need to broaden my horizons, so can you leave my perfect world buddy
I have found a polite way to tell my boss that I am resigning and that is I really don't want this place of employment, it's not really my cup of tea
I have found a polite way tell someone in a bar to stop bugging me by asking them nicely to please leave me alone and if that doesn't work then leave the bar saying if people aren't going to be nice to me here, I ain't going to come here
I have found a polite way to call someone a young bludger by telling them that they are as lazy as you were when you were their age
I find polite ways to say anything because I value my
Life too much to be hurt people's feelings, I am really cool, man

ya see i hear voices of people saying i have no real problems, but i wanna be famous, and i want to move to adelaide, but i don’t get positive feedback

so i feel like getting drunk and vomiting like this song

You see I love to have a few beers, or chocolate, and chips, oh yeah
This was what I really enjoy when I go to a pub at night
You see I live next door to this nightclub, called the hungry ****** horse
And I ain't cursing because I want to, man, that s what it's called
I met a man named Roger Killbert, who I had *** with and having a few
But the beers weren't doing good for Roger, they made him really sick
You see he was getting drunk and vomiting, yes, he was really sick
I don't share children with him, so why did I stay with him
You see he lost his family in the recent fires, and this is the first time he went out
And Roger was getting a sickly taste in his mouth, oh yeah
And it made him *****, he was sick,
You see it was just vomiting, so I didn't bother to take him to hospital
But I changed my mind, when te blood came out, it was really bad
So I took him to the hospital, and the hospital said he fine
But I know in my fucken ****** heart, that he was sick
Then he vomited blood, and the nurse said
To Roger to go to the waiting room
Because this isn't too important, but we do know that it was
And I said, why don't you get your *** in gear
And help my fucken friend, and from that moment
They labelled me a stubborn girl, yes I hated that a lot
And I said, yes, I'm stubborn, but I care for him, and have you got
Someone you care about, you hear about doctors like you
And I am more than just a stubborn woman
If you don't look after my friend, or at least try
I will soo your pants right off
He fucken had the nerve to say on what grounds
I am trying, to be my job, follow work protocol
Yes, I am doing fine, I earn a lot of money
And I deserve every cent, then I said you deserve squat
But I don't really care, when we left, yes I sooed his pants off
And since that ****** day, this doctor never learnt his lesson
We were moved to another hospital
You see he is getting drunk and vomiting, and he was very sick
And we are enjoying spending his money we got out of the doctor
Yes I feel ****** good

you can get your earth bodies to look at aaron clayton or aaa youtube TV, to hear everything performed by me

here is my next song


now, i will tell you where my cool kid is, at the mall mucking around
you see I go to the mall, being with young people
And I have so much fun, making young people mistakes
Like drinking all night and passing by McDonald's
For a McFeast and fries and coke
I will look like a junk food hooligan
And yes I will look so cool to the young
But I wish it was as simple as that
I want to have some fun
So I saw my two friends Eddie and Daniel
And we mucked around having fun
But it wasn't really what I wanted, man
So I told them both to *******
For 3 years after they purposely ran into me
And call me Woosey, and um, they will put the smoke in their ear
And eat McDonalds while I will try to be an adult
And every adult decision I make, they said Woosey, Woosey, Woosey
And then I got up and said you kids make me sick
But I couldn't say that, and they called me Woosey, because I was
Too Woosey to be a man, that opens up to his problems
But I felt like trying my hand trying to intimidate them
And make them leave me alone, it drives me crazy
All I want to be is a normal young dude, you know
Playing around making mistakes as well as being cool
But I have **** like you two teasing me as if your friendship is a fucken lie
You look like greedy pigs when you eat your McDonald's
And you are a ******* when you bang your head against the tapes
Yeah, dude, you look like a Woosey to me, mate
I am just doing the kind of things that Patrick did
Because what he likes to do, is similar to what I like to do
I like hard rock music, but I ain't a little young dude
Who is to scared to escape the tease
You guys are two little Wooseys, and I will say you are Wooseys
Mainly because you eat little young food like maccas
And you stick the cigarette in your hair, like a ******
I am a cool young dude, cool young dudes do art, and don't look lost
I'm not lost, I am so radical dudes, let's party
I am now on the healing process, because Daniel is the only Woosey
And that's the truth, you see


you see, how many of you guys have been called a woosey, you see i believe in loving life and here is my next song

i still wanna be young, what is wrong with that
Yes, mate, I am happy and I feel cool
I feel my body is getting younger and I want to break the adult rule
Mind you, there is nothing wrong with growing up, and being wise, so to speak
But really that's too formal, man, doing that will just send you weak
You need to do things that are exciting
Like go on an aero plane, like to Thailand or Vietnam, or even the mighty USA
You should go on long rail journeys too, yes that's a bit of a buzz
You can either choose having a sleeper, living the lap of luxury
Or roughing it up on the single ride seat
You can also grab a hot meal on the train
And you can eat it in the dining car
And you can eat it up, real fast, so you aren't away from the seat too long
I also like a bus trip, like to Batemans bay or beyond
And a trip to Sydney. Melbourne, Brisbane, Hervey bay, gold coast, and fantastic Adelaide
I go into a club and if I hear music I will either tap my foot or dance to it
Depending on the mood of the place
I also like to stay in a Hotel, and watch a bit of ****** Rupertvision
Some shows are good, and thouroughly entertained me so much
But not enough to make me give to that rich *****
I sometimes like a good trip in the country, where I climb mountains
Or just look at the views from lookouts and even the wild life
And mind you, you can have a ball in the country, cause you have no main worries
No worries at all, sonny Jim
Then you can spend the weekend in Sydney for the Carols in the domain
Where you get in early, pick a great spot, and take in the Christmas spirit
Mind you, you have to wait in line at the toilets, but it's all in good fun
And mate, if you happen to lose, dad, or even your mum
Just go to the stage, and tell them that you are a lost boy
With no directional skills, and how do I find mummy again
Of course they will help find them, but you really just wanted to get on the idiot box
And mate, just wait for the hiding you get off mum or dad
For wasting important television viewing time
There are so many things you can do, but, mate
You need to get a job, oh yeah, don't make your mum and dad pay
That can make you uncool
You see, I am a 43 year old young dude, yeah
And I will be there, till the day I join the afterlife, oh yeah
i hear voices of people saying, i ain’t going to help you little cool ki, ****** oath i am cool kid



Hi little kid, you can't find your mummy, you are a baby
Cause this is a family event, and it's quite ****** safe
Just ask a fellow kid, sure you are safe little kid
But then another kid will come, and trick me into
Looking like a phedaphile, and I won't be able to get out of it
So little kid, keep looking around for your mummy
And, yes you will see her, and I ain't helping you
Cause I am not the kids teasing Buddy
You see I want kids to let me be a true grown up
Who wants to be cool, and have a lot of fun
With other grown ups, and if kids can think of Judy being with each other
The city will look after their needs a lot better
You see, I dressed up as Santa, but I ain't helping you kid
So *******, or I will put you in the toilet
Do you want that, I don't fucken think so
I can tell you, I ain't no kid, I am an adult
Who wants to have fun and enjoy life
I don't want you kids to come up to me
And ask me to do something inappripiate
Even if it looks innocent, it ain't, I aren't that type of guy
You kids are a pack of fucken losers
And just keep yourselfs in your family groups
Cause that will suit me just fine, because
I ain't gonna he

briano alliano performs on venus party trap




you see welcome to the trap and i had a great night at the poetry slam

where i met this man who said m6y poem was great, well, he liked it

in fact when i didn’t win it, he wanted to heckle the organisers, well, it was

fun, but i like the organisers too, but this man realiy believed in me, ya know

especially when i told him i am putting art in an exhibition

here is my first song, the poem i read at the poetry slam ,here goes

jingle bells oh buddy jingle bells

it’s christmas in july

the party is on for young and old

and presents to make us happy

jingle bells oh buddy jingle bells

it’s christmas in july

party on till next week, man

yeah, celebrate christmas in july

dashing thru the cold canberra winters day

you see i think my reindeers are in hibernation today

because the air is very cold, and it’s a great day to say

merry christmas my good friends in the month of july

jingle bells oh buddy it’s jingle bells

it’s christmas in july

the party is on for young and old

bring out the warm eggnog

and put up the christmas tree, and have santa on a stick

then you get those lollypops, and give ‘em an almighty lick

and give ‘em an almighty lick, my mate

ya see last night at the poetry slam, this bloke said i really sang the last bit with a lot of guts

and determination, and now as i left last night i saw a fight taking place, and i knew if i don’t stare

everything will be alright, and now here is my next song

i am tired, but i can’t sleep, i need to have a siesta, yeah mate yeah

i need to relax and enjoy my life, and have a soft drink yeah mate yeah

carn the swans carn the raiders carn the packers, like that man last night spoke to me for

yeah mate yeah, and now time for, here is my next song, loving friends and loving family


You see when I was young and I always was trying to be cool
I had a family who tried to stop myself from being cool, and I was
So fristrated with that, I said, no I am cool, but I wssn't cool, I wanted
To laugh at everybody and I laughed so loud that my psrents were telling me
To quiten down and this made me angry, you see I got violent and I started to rant
And rave and it took me over a long time to understand that they were treating me
Like a cool kid, but I was young and stupid and it seems like they were teasing me
And giving me a hard time, and i also said that I wanted to be cool and always go out having a good time and getting ****** as a parrot, you see, my voices were putting those thoughts
Right in my head, giving me a lot of problems, making me very very sick of being in this crazy situation, and I am glad I have this amazing loving family and good friends, to help me through any kind of situation.
You see when I try and muck with my father like a mans kid, my brother would say, don't muck with him, he's not like us, don't much with him, no he is not a young dude. Be like us, and be a young dude and be a little shy boy, you try and be oool every day, and you try and give stay up all night while everybody else is going to bed, so you can go, hey to him, but the thing about it is, that it is the fact that he is living in the past.
So then my loving family and loving friends made me feel better about how much I wanted to
Move on and live life to the fullest, you see he will laugh like a man should and then say, heh heh heh heh , i am a cool boy, I am not a little shy boy, I sit up all night, I don't go to bed, you see I am superior, but my mates call me a complete loser.
Because this man is a total and absolute ******, and it makes me absolutely crazy, and this drives me crazy, you know very crazy, but I always call it a loving family and loving friends, I don't need these friends who only like me because I sit underneath them.



here is my next song, titled mashed potato finger nail at the skate park, here goes

You see Jacki Fred Harold Stone was a very cool young dude
You see instead of going to bed with all the other kids
He wanted to go to the skate park and ride the skateboards
With his best mates down there, and it was a very weird effect
You see his fingers smelt like mashed potato and all his mates went home
And they said he was a little shy boy, and Jacki Fred Harold Stone said
I am not a little shy boy, I am a cool boy, who loves to skate
And when I have a rest the mashed potato finger nails come again
To inspire me to keep being cool here at the skate park
You see I did some very awesome tricks, and I had so much fun
But I still smelt my mashed potato finger nails, it was driving me wild
I told all the people at the skate park and they said, your not shy
In fact your the coolest dude out of your family, and none of us want you to leave
I don't care if you used to get teased by everyone at your school
And I don't care if your family teaeed you as well
You see Jacki, I think your cool, and I will never tease you, not ever
I want to sell you drugs, but you don't have to take them
Because your the boy with the mashed potato finger nails
And we'll never ever tease you, we want to be your friend
And we want nothing more than that
So come on Jacki Fred Harold Stone, show us how to skate
You see my name is Jason Lee, and this is my mate Tristan
And we'll be your only friends you will never tease you
Cause at least you come here and ride your skateboard like a cool dude
And after your finished you stay with us and have a joke around
Despite of the times you tell us, your cool, we still have problems with this deal
You see, you are the kid who has mashed potato finger nails
And I don't care at all, your like us, Jacki, your cool, and your fingers smell like a good
Dose of mashed potato, which means your very cool
here is my next song, titled as much fun as it sounds, here at the trap

You see Jacki Fred Harold Stone was a very cool young dude
You see instead of going to bed with all the other kids
He wanted to go to the skate park and ride the skateboards
With his best mates down there, and it was a very weird effect
You see his fingers smelt like mashed potato and all his mates went home
And they said he was a little shy boy, and Jacki Fred Harold Stone said
I am not a little shy boy, I am a cool boy, who loves to skate
And when I have a rest the mashed potato finger nails come again
To inspire me to keep being cool here at the skate park
You see I did some very awesome tricks, and I had so much fun
But I still smelt my mashed potato finger nails, it was driving me wild
I told all the people at the skate park and they said, your not shy
In fact your the coolest dude out of your family, and none of us want you to leave
I don't care if you used to get teased by everyone at your school
And I don't care if your family teaeed you as well
You see Jacki, I think your cool, and I will never tease you, not ever
I want to sell you drugs, but you don't have to take them
Because your the boy with the mashed potato finger nails
And we'll never ever tease you, we want to be your friend
And we want nothing more than that
So come on Jacki Fred Harold Stone, show us how to skate
You see my name is Jason Lee, and this is my mate Tristan
And we'll be your only friends you will never tease you
Cause at least you come here and ride your skateboard like a cool dude
And after your finished you stay with us and have a joke around
Despite of the times you tell us, your cool, we still have problems with this deal
You see, you are the kid who has mashed potato finger nails
And I don't care at all, your like us, Jacki, your cool, and your fingers smell like a good
Dose of mashed potato, which means your very cool
as much fun as it sounds to heckle, i still remember the american dude, but this man last night was a cool dude, buddy, cool man sam


and have you ever been a cool kid to your dad, and had people laugh at you, i felt that last night when i didn’t join in the heckle, but that man

was nice to me, saying he admires me, but i am not gay, i am bradley simmons

Bradley lived in Cowra with his mum and dad and brother Kenneth, and Kenneth was a real mans kid who plays with his friends in the street and then he goes home to watch Disneyland with his dad, and he mainly liked to watch westerns, while Bradley was certain that there is something going on in the air, and went to church with his mum.
You see this wasn't really tbe best family unit, especially when families go out to fun family events, but Bradley and Kenneth's dad was a director at kids town, which is a Buddhist drop in centre, who looke after the daily needs of under fortunate kids, and Bradley and Kenneth were told to come into these centers, when their dad organised some games to brighten their spirits, one game was spin the Buddha, where you get a spinning buddha statue and the kids get a lolly pop if the Buddha spun towards them, and even though they thought it was lame, well you can see it in their faces, Bradley thought it was cool and then said to his dad how about I plan games for them to play, like soccer out in the paddock, or even cricket, or tennis, and one of the homeless Boyd sadism I am too poor to get into Auskick, so can we play Aussie rules, and if I whip your ***, I know I can play for Richmond, and Kenneth who tried to be the cool kid there said, well if you make Richmond, it won't mean you are good, it means you play for Richmond, and Bradley told Kenneth to be nice to him, he obviously likes Richmond, and Kenneth said to Brad, why don't you shut up you stupid old ******* ****, and Bradley said, I am cool, I can turn these kids away from you.
Then Bradley said ok it's time to play a board game and little Ryan said, well what does board games have to do with helping us get houses, and Bradley said, oh no I ain't that powerful, I am just a kid, I can't give you a home, no,,I am here to make you feel that people actually care for you, because I think it would be tough for you having no home to go to and the kids listened to Bradley like he was one of the adults and being a typical jealous little brother started to get very jealous especially when e tried to make a joke, and they told him to get lost, because your brother is boosting our self esteem.
At the end of the day, Kenneth said to Bradley, you are a stupid ******* old *******, playing board games doesn't make them really feel better, what makes them feel better is taking them for walks around, but you are too stupid for that aren't you Bradley, you are too fucken shy to be like those kids friends, you see they all like me better, they just tolerate you, so go back to your bedroom and go and do some underage *******, no you aren't one of us boys, *******.
Bradley was upset with what Kenneth said and went to his bedroom and cried for hours and since then he didn't have inspiration to go back to his dads work to help the kids there, but his dad said, your brother is just jealous, and you should do this if it makes you feel happy, and his dad said, and if you find that Kenneth is proved right, just ignore them, and you can start off by ignoring Kenneth, because really, I wish every kid could have the inspiration that you bring to kids town, don't let teasing stop you for reaching your full potential, Bradley, Bradley decided his dad was right, and he kept on going to kid's town to make a difference in these children's lives, playing games and talking to one another, this was so cool the kids thought, Bradley thought he was growing up, and Kenneth who decided to come in, because he thought kids need to be kids, yes, his dad was doing a good job, but really Kenneth had what the kids really wanted, like he bought his computer and showed him the virtual world, and Bradley said no kids playing board games are fun, and computer games can wreck your eyesight, but the kids decided that Kenneth needed to be heard too, after all he is the other son of the kid's town leader, so they listened to him for a while and instead of trying to play along, Bradley felt hurt and said, ******* all, and went to his room to cry, and all the tough boys said, 'what a cry baby' and then he said his brother isn't an monster, we still like him, but Kenneth wanted to make Bradley jitter, so he now decided to play around laughing very loudly, like he was like us, man or something and Brad was in his room, crying and their dad decided that Brad needed to share his friends and said that he prefers the way Kenneth did things, Brad got really angry and started to be totally mental, by punching Kenneth like a ******, as well as threatening to **** the father that gave him a perfect life as a kid, of course he didn't **** him, but he was an angry *******, you see he was the board games king, while his brother was a computer **** kid, and Kenneth tried to not hurt Brad's feelings, even though, being a kid, he found it hard to not teaee the ****** and Bradley was put in a special school where he made a few new friends, but they weren't into playing board games or anything else with him, they wanted to teaee him, with teachers joining in, because Bradley needed to learn about how to control is temper, and someone tried to bully him, and Bradley stood up to him, and another guy was determined to tease Bradley also, but as he tried to punch Bradley put his hands on his **** and squeezed his ***** real tight, and since then everyone liked Bradley, but not to his dads liking the little cool kid to his dad was suddenly Kenneth,,and Bradley felt he was trying to tease Kenneth the same way, and see how he likes it, but all his friends like Kenneth better, and Bradley punched Kenneth in the gut and his friends thought Bradley was a **** and left the house and another girl at school was making fun of Brads parents and Brad tried to stand up to her,but she said, they never helped me,**** kids town and ******* early to bed and early to rise baby, and Bradley got really upset and from that moment the only young ones who like him were the rougher ones, who hassled Bradley for money,and Bradey became to shy to say no. Which made him a little young dude with no friends, he had family trying to contact him, but he was determined to make their lives a misery.
Bradley was an idiot, with his drinking and teasing and punching people, yes dude, he needs anger management, and he needs it now, but you must want to go, but Bradley made a pact, that he won't get help till Kenneth found a girl and got married and has kids,,so his thought of being teased all through his adult years, wasn't going to happen, and Kenneth married Bridgett Kingsley and they had Toni and Ros, yes, Bradley's little nieces, and he loved them dearly, and the bonding of Bradley and Kenneth grew fondly, while their parents had the old Brad back, he ain't married but he's happy, and that's what Counts in life.


******* that look a lot of wind singing this to you at the venus party trap and when i got home i was told to sit there little shy boy and let your school mates play air guitar, i was happy too, because of sam

at the poetry slam, thinking i had guts tom read a poem and not win, who cares, it’s a fun night out dudes

You see, you are still a little shy boy, and we are still teasing you
So, now you are working, man, come, leave us
And let us muck around, we want to smoke our bongs
As well as drink our bourbons, and drink 100 beers
Yeah we all feel cool, and don't wake up little shy boy
We want the adults to not bother us, cause we are having so much
Fun, we don't want to be adults,and don't want you to worry about us either
You see, all the men, are sitting there, trying to muck with them
Saying tease him, if you want to tease, just teaee him
But at the end of the day, man, we aren't really teasing
We are sitting up all night, being bums and young bludgers
And it's because you are such a ******
We might be making it seemed you are getting teased
But, we really want to leave you alone,,if you leave us alone
Cause, we are drug addicts,,and we want you to respect the fact
That we don't want to work, as long as you think that you aren't a young bludger
Everything will be already, but young bludgers go to bed for work
So mate, just enjoy yourself, and smoke your bongs
And have a good time, doing it
You see, I want to enjoy ourselves doing this
You are now leaving us all on our lonesome
See ya dudes

see you soon, venus party trap, and t

Merry Christmas cobbler
Merry Christmas mate
What do you want for Christmas
A nice cold can of ade
Everyone will be my friend
If I did it now
Merry Christmas cobbler
Yeah merry Christmas to all
I would like to have Kylie
As well as Wendy James
Yes that’ll be cool my mate
She’ll put us boys to shame
Then I want anyone
That I could get oh yeah
But Christmas is a fun year
For everyone and me
Merry Christmas cobbler
Merry Christmas mate
Give us a drink of *****
As well as a can of ade
Put a picture of Tiffany
Under my Christmas tree
Make sure she’s happy mate yeah that will be real sweet
You see if have it off with all these chicks
Your **** will go hard mate
And make you uncomfortable
Merry Christmas cobbler
Merry Christmas mate
Enjoy every life
With a can of lemonade
Yeah that’ll be so cool

Hi dudes and welcome to Jupiter where we have the concert of the decade where we have some Christmas poems to share with you
First one is Christmas party time
I am having a party
The famous Christmas party
With eggnog and fruit cake
And a beautiful fruit punch
Everybody gets on the dance floor and we celebrate with songs like
Working class man
The clapping song
And you took the words right out of my mouth
Then after that we add a Christmas carol to brighten up your day we could choose
Jingle bells and away in a manger and joy to the world
But I could play a version of
Winter wonderland
Wouldn't that be cool
Party party party as Christmas
Is coming soon
It will start about 6-00 am
For presents
Going right up till noon
I am watching the parade from Niagara Falls and they play nice music in the background
To really brighten up the day
Time to party party party party
Every day and night
Playing six white boomers
Into the beautiful light

The second poem is santa loves life like me
You see he flies with his reindeers every Christmas Eve
Delivering presents to every boy and girl
You see he comes into a parade with marching bands and floats
And he welcomes you all here
Saying ** ** ** saying ** ** ** you see santa oh santa
Loves life like me
He eats your food and drinks your drink and reindeers have a nice carrot or two
Santa will party all over this town never ever ever lets out a frown for santa is happy very very happy such a happy Chappy
Come on santa party dude
He is a jolly person and he delivers presents to the boys and girls
Santa oh santa he loves life like me
Yo hey he is a very happy dude
And he gives presents oh yeah that is sweet
Everyone who loves Christmas
Loved this man indeed
Everyone at the North Pole is working making sure the presents are all packed
Yes santa oh santa
He loves life like me

The third song is I love Christmas
You see I like going out to sing carols and having a lot of fun
I like exchanging presents with the people I really love
I will watch parades on YouTube
And I watch parties in the vlogs
I am trying to diet at present
So I can't eat sugary foods
But I am doing things right
By going for a 1 hour ride on my bike
I end up nowhere but really I am
Getting somewhere
And despite of all that I love Christmas
Oh yeah party on I love Christmas
You see I know I have a mental illness but I love to have a party
And Christmas is the time which makes me very happy
I like singing carols and sitting in The park
Soaking up the atmosphere
Enjoying every moment
We wish you a merry Christmas
Yes a ripper Christmas
Enjoying your Christmas dinner
But don't eat too much
Some people worship Jesus
Some worship god
Kids worship good old santa
Yes, that is why I love Christmas


Fourth song is santa having a party

Oh Christmas tree oh Christmas tree
We're having a good time
With the Christmas tree
Oh Christmas tree
Santa having a party
With marshmallows and broken chips yeah what a day we are having
And watching Christmas carols down at crace
Having a good time oh yeah
Whether you want to celebrate
Or whether you party mate
Yeah it will be the coolest thing you'll ever see
Christmas tree and holly too
Santa is having a party
Party party party party
Santa oh santa
Santa is having a party
And afterwards he goes from
House to house saying merry Christmas to all

the 3 mental health conditions i have



depression, when i lose my jobs, and  when i lose my way in life, i go into a deep depression

or it could be anxiety, like like i go out, but when people treat me like one of their mob, i go into

a shell, saying, i am not a hooligan, i am a family person, and i would winge about this for days

i was thinking that other people, were trying to fight me because i am trying to be a street person

and the voice was saying you and your brother ain’t like us, you see, i always have been teased

by other poor people, because i am poor too, and i remember in the bar, i wanted to go to the bar

to have a beer, and these men wanted me to play with them, i was too young to understand, that they

were just using me, and i felt i was getting hassled, day in and day out, by the working class, it doesn’t stop

me from helping them, but i prefer to help the homeless, or disadvantaged at common ground, and

i look at common ground plans, and it could be how i visioned, when people yell at me, i go, leave me

alone, mate, i am a family person, i felt people were taking my job away from me, every day, i know now

that they weren’t, but i felt people were saying, i am sorry, your not cut out for helping us, today

i was really crazy, i implied to this man, who was doing the washing up, that i wanted to do this

he was upset, maybe, it is not depression, it’s me being anxious to help people, with my past, voices

saying don’t muck with brian, saying he is still a shy person, and despite all the good things i did

i left them, but the reason why i did, because, i was paranoid, that, i was being put in a little situation

by the people at the rainbow, like me being *******, in the craft room, i remember that note very well, i was

very uneducated about this, and i was trying to make it up to my mum after yelling at her and dad when i was young

and when i was drunk, and i wanted to be nice to everyone, but my kindness could have killed me, like i was

arguing with everyone, getting defensive so to speak, and i ate a lot of food and nearly died of obesity. well

i could say, i did die, of obesity, i am getting voices, every time i say i want to **** me when i was young, when i mean

the evil streak in me, the voice says, don’t, i liked that little guy, and he really did like that little guy, it could have

been created from the simpsons, there was a problem when i was working at the rainbow, i gave into temptation, where

i mucked with people who mucked around, but i still did my cooking and creative writing, and now, i have so many stories

to share with my youtube generation, but i was making mum and dad relax around me, and that is all i care about, and

then the crazy delusions i was getting when i killed my loving family cat, delusions were coming into my head, at first

i thought it was cool, i was hearing old mates and all my family, all gathering and the voices were great, and i tried every time

my parents got cranky, i tried to calm down, you see my parents would cry over spilt milk, literally, and then wondered why i

got cranky with them, i made a joke saying dad, don’t cry over spilt milk, dad got cranky and said, implying he was a clean person

and we should feel guilty about dropping anything on the floor, i said to dad, accidents to accure, and dad said, yeah but you need

to be more careful, and i wanted to escape my parents, because they were such projectionists in everything they did, and i found

out that leaving my house in a mess, was my way of playing cool for them, maybe in 2004, they were cleaning my house for me

before i went to hospital, but, i found mum and dad, as i said, real perfectionists, everything had to be perfect, i found it hard to

understand that my house if messy could spell eviction, but i was living in the backyard, yeah, mum and dad help, but i find a little

too much, i was doing fine when i moved in my new flat in hawker, i cleaned it every day, until i went into hospital, but dad

still wanted to be a dad, and i wanted him to be a friend, because, him and mums way wasn’t helping me, i understand where

it should help me, but it flaming didn’t, ya see i hated that little situation, where dad and mum were treating me like a 4 year old boy

so i brought back the memories for dad, saying why don’t you smoke again dad, saying, you seemed happier when you smoked

because, dad said, don’t argue with me be a BUDDHIST, i am a buddhist, but unlike christians, buddha allows a bit of teasing as

long as it is done in a peaceful, dad is dead, and now dad is betty campbell, but i want mum to one day understand this, because

i feel she is dwelling in all this, and she is worrying about me, but, i prefer the life of enjoyment, and i like community spirit

you see i liked and still like how men used to say i am doing a wonderful job, i was visioning dad turning off me, like he was

dwelling in the past, i told dad that his father is macauley culkin, but he actually is ryan clark, and mums dad is macauley culkin

i know this cause i am cronus, i liked when men said to me, keeping busy, mate, keeping out of trouble, mate

because i liked helping in the community, but mum and dad, i feel, were treating me like an old fogie, when they were complaining

about me doing volunteer work, i liked volunteering, every job was fun, mum and dad just worried about me, but in hindsight

i didn’t want them to worry, ok i never liked all that being my mums son, nor i hated being a little kid, i sit there and let us big adults

muck around, i liked how i was feeling down in the dumps, and i rang up dad and mum and we’ll doing the same thing

then i heard dad say, i am not mucking around in cool kid groups with brian, like a real **** would say, you see i was being an adult

i hated how dad tried to be like the in crowd, there is nothing wrong with that, but he looked like he was worried, i felt like saying

STOP WORRYING ABOUT YOUR SON BRIAN, AND RELAX, i tried to get him to relax by asking him to watch the cricket

and other shows, he refused, and now dad is dead, he is betty campbell now, but dad obsessed with doing everything perfect

if ya wanna copy dad, fine, but, i want to have better people around me, ok, to have PARTIES, dudes

rather than just doing it with mum, i am saving for adelaide on nye and the carols in the domain as well in sydney

PLEASE BUDDHA, BRING DAD CLOSER TO ME, ON TV, i miss him

you see as i lay down to sleep

i feel the methane on my leg and arns

you seek have athena giving me methane to heal my karma

and i look like dai leu lama

you see i get this strange prickle in my leg and hands

reminding me, i need to be healed

i feel pretty crazy but i look calm and normal

back in the 90s i looked big and tough, but that ain’t for me

you see u am letting medication heal me and calm me down

so i can do what i want to do with my life

the prickle is allowing the methane  work through mu body

you see it’s because i upset athena with my crime i did

and every night athena gives me a dose of methane

so my mind and body can be normal

ya see i tried coke, but it didn’t work for me

but it is refreshing drink and in a way got athena to explain my brain and not be shy about what you say

you see the only way to completely heal, is to calm down and

not worry about people who hate me

athena is saying, calm calm calm

and i feel the methane really working, as i am sleeping on my chair

saying to athena to calm my aura

I wish I had a million dollars to share to share I would buy so many things to make everyone happy oh yeah
I will buy $200 groceries for everyone whenever needs be
I will house the homeless in a newly built house
I will buy everyone a meal rich or poor in a classy restaurant ya see
I will buy everyone a nice refreshing drink of their choice
I will give the kids enough money to fix up their bikes and hover boards etc etc
I will pay for a dentist for everyone
That is what I would do with a million dollars and a cool apartment for me dudes

Oh money been their home
Yes money been their home
You see poor people suffer
And for some of them
Their only shelter is the money you give
Yeah it could be $20 or $30
Or maybe a bit more
Oh money been their home
Yes money been their home
You see there are people suffering they want a gift
And it is Buddha’s birthday
Why doesn’t Buddha give them a gift
He wants to but it is hard
When their only home is
The money in their pocket
Oh money been their home
Yes money been their home
You see it is great to see people giving
What a great Buddha birthday it is today
We walk up and down the footpath and see Buddhist monks who are doing it tough
You see sometimes it is hard
To see this problem we have
But money will safely be their home
Oh money been their home
Yes money been their home
You see world leaders are you going to celebrate Buddha day with us
You see we lay candles and statues around the place
Making people aware of the importance of this day
Oh money been their home
Yes money been their home
And candles and bells yes
That is cool
Please give to the poor Buddhist monks who are doing it tough
Money been their home
Now and forever ommm
Happy Buddha day

The money is about to make
The rich men even richer
Every penny that you spend
Isn’t the one you want to spend
I love life, it is cool
I break no rules
I see a man eating an ice cream cone in front of a coffee shop
You see people going to bed
They rest their weary head
Well, dudes it’s not what you want as all the men go to bed
And the young stay up and party all night
Rock and roll music
Is the way you choose it
Making a coffee scroll
And sending it down ya cake hole
Ken and Keith and Kerrod and Kevin
All sit down and count a lot of sheep
Party party party
Until you don’t understand how long it goes for

I would sing the song money money money to

people who have none to make a point

that the rich man’s world is different to the poor man’s world

and how some rich people don’t give a toss about

what poor people go through

it’s sad how you ask a rich man to drop a $2 coin

in the poor man’s bucket and they just say NO

simply because they don’t care or the y don’’t like that certain poor person

and whether that poor person coughs in their face of a show of affection saying’

please help me, and basically all the rich man wants to sing money money money

to drive the poor man to drink all the tax payers money and the poor man’s world

could turn out to be the rich man’s world cause money seems to likes the rich more

than poor, money seems to hate people who wants to budge on it

what is money really about anyway

why does the rich earn more money than the average Joe

nobody will ever know

Monkey see and monkey do
You love me and I love you
You are cute and cuddly too
Monkey see and monkey do
Monkey do and monkey see
You are not one of the families
You are just a hooligan ya see
Monkey do and monkey see
I watch football and YouTube vlogs ya see
To learn about different people in the world
From every boy and every girl
Seeing two girls with beautiful curls
**** me, mate I need a shave
But I prefer to give them one hell of a wave
Party all night and into the day
Asking how much money do we pay
Monkey see and monkey do
At the hotel where they are staying oh wow
They get great views of this great city
Waiting to see if the next day Isn't full of pity
Monkey see and monkey do
Love life like me

HI DUDES AND WELCOME TO THE MOON, HERE IS MY FIRST SONG


WE DON’T NEED NO EDUCAYION, OR WE DON’T NEED KNOW DISCIPLINE

OR WE NEVER NEED PEOPLE TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO

NO, WE NEVER NEED OH NOSEREE

BUT I GOT UP, AND SANG THIS SONG SO LOUD

YEAH OH YEAH BOW BOW

ALL THE PROBLEMS IN THE SCHOOL YARD, WE NEVER NEED THUAT, NO

YOU SEE STRONG KIDS PICKING ON THE WEAK AND VONERABLE

AND FORCING THE WEAK AND VONERABLE TO BE LIKE THEM

JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE JEALOUS OF THEM

WE NEVER NEED ANY DISCIPLINE, DUDE, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, DUDE

BUT WE NEED TO GET RID OF SCHOOL SHOOTINGS YEAH

TOO MANY DUDES ARE GETTING SHOT YEAH

WE NEED TO STOP- THAT, ONCE AND FOR ALL

BECAUSE KIDS ARE INNOCENT, REALLY INNOCENT

THEY DON’T DESERVE TO BE KILLED

YOU CAN’T REFORM THESE SCHOOL SHOOTERS, OH NO

YOU CAN’T REFORM OH NOSEREE, YOU CAN NEVER REFORM THEM NO

SO THE DISCIPLINE, IS MIGHTY BIG IN SCHOOLS

WE NEED TO MAKE KIDS UNDERSTAND, THAT THIS KIND OF DISCIPLINE IS TO PROTECT THEM

LIKE THE SOUND OF THE GUN, IS TO PROTECT PEOPLE, YEAH YOUR NOT READY

FOR THIS WORLD YET, SO GO TO YOUR NEXT WORLD

AND LOVE LIFE, OVER THERE

AND NOW HERE IS DUNCAN

I WOULD LOVR TO HAVE A BEER WITH DUNCAN

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH DUNC

WE DRINK IN MODERATION

AND WE NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER GET ROLLING DRUNK
\
WE DRINK IN THE TOWN AND COUNTRY

WHERE THE ATMOSPHERE IS GREAT

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH DUNCAN

CAUSE HE IS MY MATE

I HATE HEARING MY MATE, YEAH I HATE HEARING HIM YEAH

I HATE BEING TOLD THAT ME AND MY BRO AIN’T LIKE US

IN EVERY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION

I HATE MY MATE, TRYING TO GET ME TO BE A WILD COOL BOY, OH YEAH

I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY CHAIR, AND DO MY ART AND WRITING AND GIVE FEEDBACK TO YOUTUBE YA SEE

I HATE HIM SAYING I AM LIKE HIM, HE IS A CRAZY ******* OH YEAH

HE SAYS WHEN I GO TO THE SPORT TRYING TO BE LIKE US ARE WE

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN INTO SPORT OH YEAHJ

AND IF I SAY, I AM INTO THE ARTS, I MEAN I WATCH YOUTUBE WHILEST DOING MY TAPESTRY

I AM NOT A SHY PERSON, WHO DOES WHAT THE COOL KIDS USED TO DO

NO, I DO WHAT I WANNA DO, AND NOT WORRY ABOUT THE COOL KIDS ARE DOING

IF THEY SAY I AM SQUARE, THEY ARE JUST JEALOUS OF MY TALENT AND POWER

I DON[’T WHAT I FEEL, I DO WHAT I WANT, IF I FEEL LIKE I DON[’T WANNA DO IT

I WILL PUSH MYSELF, CAUSE MY SHY MAN IS COMING, BUT THAT IS DAD

TRYING TO EXPLAIN THAT I AM THE SHYPERSON, BUT I AM THE ARTIST WRITER AND YOUTUBE ENTERTAINER

A SHYPERSON IS A STUPID WORD, NO I AM A WRITER AND A ARTIST AND A YOUTUBE ENTERTAINER

THERE IS ONE VOICE BY PATRICK SAYING, BRIAN’S GETTING TEASED

BUT I AM NOT INTO TEASING, BULLYING, FIGHTING, NO NEVER FOR ME

I AM INTIO HAVING FUN, YA KNOW, I USED TO BE A LITTLE SHY BOY, OR A LITTLE YOUNG DUDE

WHO APPEARED TOO SHY TO GO TO BED, WELL, I AM STILL NOT GOING TO BED

AND YOU CAN SHOVE GO TE BED BABY GO TO BED BABY GO TO BED BABY GO TO BED BABY

GO TO BED BABY, YOU NEED YOUR SLEEP, YEAH, BETTER THAN SITTING ON YA CHAIR LIKE A MAN

GO TO BED BABY, YOU AREN’T LIKE US NO, I AM HAPPY SITTING THERE DOING MY ART, SITTING RIGHT HERE

YA SEE, I DON’T LOOK AT ME LEGS IN THAT WAY, THIS IS MY WAY OF GETTING REFORMED

I HATE GOING TO BED, SON, LEAVE ME ALONE, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

I WANT TO BE FAMOUS, SO I PRACTICE ON YOUTUBE, I WANT TO AN ARTIST, SO I DO MY TAPESTRIES SITTING ON THE COUCH

I DON’T WANT TO HEAR PAT’S VOICE, OH NO, OF HIM TREATING ME LIKE A LITTLE YEAH MATE YEAH KID, OH NO

I KNOW THE WORLD, WOULD LIKE WHAT I DO, I AM NO SHY PERSON, SO LEAVE ME ALONE

I LIKE PATRICK, BUT I HATE HIS VOICE IN MY HEAD TELLING ME TO GO TO BED, I AM

ONE PERSON WHO DOESN’T LIKE GOING TO BED, I FALL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH, BUDDY

AND I GO TO ATHENA EVERY NIGHT, SHE WORKS ON MY TEETH, AND IT’S MORE PAINFUL IN WAYS

BUT IT WORKS FOR ME, HE SAYS GO TO BED BABY, GO TO BED BABY, I KNOW I AM A BABY

TOO COOL TO GO TO BED, I LOVE COMPUTERS, THEY ARE THE NEXT GENERATION

PAT HATES COMPUTERS, I DON’T CARE, I LIKE COMPUTERS, CAUSE THEY ARE THE NEXT GENERATION

ME AND PATRICK ARE DIFFERENT, BRIAN LOVES COMPUTERS, PAT HATES COMPUTERS

BRIAN IS WILLING TO WRITE STUFF OUT OF HIM, PAT, IS HAPPY BEING A WATCHER

BRIAN WILL ALWAYS BE A DOER, WATCH AAA YOUTUBE TV, LOOK AT MY ART ON ART COLONY

WATCH AARON CLAYTON AND READ WRITER JOE’S STUFF ON WRITERS CAFE

YA SEE BRIAN IS ON THE COMPUTER’S INTERNET IN A BIG WAY

I HAVE MANY MATES ON FACEBOOK AND TWITTER, AND I DO GET VIEWS ON YOUTUBE

CAUSE I AM FAMOUS, NOW PAT, I STILL LIKE YOU, PATRICK, BUT I CAN’T SHARE MY VIEWS ON COMPUTERS

IT’S EASY TO WRITE STUFF OUT OF YA, I AM NOT TOO WOOSEY FOR THAT

I NEED TO DO THIS, SO I DON’T LOOK AT KIDS LEGS, SO KIDS DON’T FEEL INSECURE.I LIKE KIDS I LIKE KIDS

I CAN WRITE STORIES, IT’S NOT TOO HARD, I AM ON THE MOON SAYING

I WISH I HAD A MONEY TREE, FROM THE INTERNET, AND GO TO THE COMPUTER AND TEAR SOME MONEY

OFF THE INTERNET, TO MY BANK ACCOUNT, THAT’LL BE SO COOL

PATRICK IS TREATING ME LIKE A SHY BOY, I HATED PEOPLE SAYING, I AM TOO SHY TO BE LIKEB THEM

I AM TOO COOL TO BE LIKE THEM

I AM A WRITER

I AM AN ARTIST

I AM A YOUTUBE, PARTNER, PERFORMER, AND AN ENTERTAINER

I AM BETTER THAN THE PEOPLE IN MY VOICES
\
I HATE BEING LABELLED A RICH **** OR A **** IN EVERY SHAPE OR FORM

ALL BECAUSE I AM ON THE COPMUTER BIG TIME

HERE IS A SONG

GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA

SAID THE MONKEY\ TO THE CHIMP

GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA

SAID THE CHIMP BACK TO THE MONKEY

GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA

SAID THE MONKEY TO THE CHIMP

AND THE MONKEY SAID TO THE CHIMP

MATE, YOU ARE A WIMP

AND THE MONKEY SAID TO THE CHIMP

MATEM YOU ARE A WIMP

YA SEE PATRICK DOESN’T WANT TO HASSLE ME FOR WHAT I SAY

HE LIKES ME, FOR I AM COOL

I DON’T WANT TO WHAT I USED TO DO, I DO WHAT I WANNA DO

I DON’T WANT PEOPLE MUCKING WITH ME LIKE THEY USED TO MUCK WITH ME

CAUSE I AM A FAMILY PERSON, BUDDY

I HATE MY VOICES OF PAT IN MY HEAD SAYING, ONLY FAMILY PEOPLE DO THIS OB BRIAN

I SAY, YEAH I AM A FAMILY PERSON, THEM PAT SAYS I AM NOT YA DADDY

AND THEN SAYS GO TO BED, BABY, I SAID, NEH, MY BED IS MY CHAIR

AND MY CHAIR IS WHERE I SIT AND DO ART

SO, STOP TREATING ME LIKE AN OLD BIDDY, I AM A CREATIVE YOUNG DUDE

I AM NOT FUCKEN SHY, BUDDY OLE BOY OLE PAL

the dream



joan barimaster was a very independent woman, who wanted everything to be perfect, and she lives

with her 34 year old autistic son named robert, which can be a complete nightmare, because robert was

always asking questions like a eager to learn teenager, well maybe at first, but as he repeats and repeats

the same quotation over and over again, joan was totally sick of it, like this morning robert was telling joan

all about his dream last night, saying, are dreams the force of reality, and joan said, well yeah, if you want them

to come true, they’ll come true, but we really shouldn’t look to deeply into this dream, but robert said

well, i dreamt i was a star of the musical named joseph and the amazing technicolour dream coat and

robert was joseph, and joan said, dreams are all the gunk from your head trying too get out, and robert said

oh silly mum, that isn’t the cause of dreams, i must be healthy if that is the truth, because i dream all the time

and robert was asking joan twenty times over and over again, i am joseph, i am joseph i am joseph

i really am joseph, and then robert sang, i closed my eyes and drew back the curtain to see for certain

what i thought i knew, and robert sang that over and over again, driving joan completely nuts and

robert said, ok mummy, how about we go to the drama group and joan was busy and had to rush

which was a total disaster, first of all, joan had to get robert into the car, with robert being completely hard

to bare, asking stupid questions all the time, he was saying i am joseph i am joseph i am joseph

i closed my eyes drew back the curtain, to see for certain, what i thought i knew, and he was singing

the song ever so loud, making joan say in harsh loud words SHUT UP, but robert said, this is a dream of mine,

i am playing joseph, i am joseph, and that is my coat, when they arrived at the drama group, joan let robert out of the car

and didn’t move until someone brought him in, and that came in 6 minutes, and joan left, to go back home to do some work

now, joan has her own business in catering, and unless robert has to be somewhere, was always with joan, mind you

robert was never in the way really, it was just a little too much listening to him yack all the time about being joseph

and when joan picked robert up from drama group, robert said, i am joseph, they said i had real potential to be joseph

and joan said, really, that is good, robert, and joan went to this house on the rich end of town, to cater for a party and

robert went with her and started chatting up one of the female guests who liked the idea of robert playing joseph in a play

and she said she really loved that musical, and when robert sang the song, suddenly he was given guidance of the rest

of the song because this guest knew every word of the song and this made robert very happy, and then robert was told to *******

by the host of the party, and robert said, WHY DON’T YA UNDERSTAND, I LIKE YOUR DAUGHTER, I WANT TO MARRY HER

and joan, who was in the middle of preparing the meal, went out and said, robert, you have to quieten down, buddy, because

this man is one of my clients, ok, if i stuff anything up, i might lose this client and not get paid, and the host said, just keep your

son away from us, and joan put robert in the laundry, and this laundry was very interesting for robert, you see 2 washing machines

and 3 tumble dryers, and he played with the dryers and that made the host very mad, saying to joan, don’t bring your poor son to your jobs’

because he is stuffing us up, ruining our party, ok, i put in a lot of hard work, to be able to afford to have you cater for us, and having your

****** disabled son with you, is totally stupid, and joan said, nobody ever calls my son a ****** ok, and i don’t really need your money

so i will just leave you, to finish and me and robert will go home, he can’t be trusted at home, and the host said, what kind of mother are you

for letting your son dominate and joan said, i will cook these meals, so i can take your money for that, but you can wash and dry up yourself

you see, buddy it comes in a package, me and my son, ok, if you can’t except this, you can go and get ******, because i love my son robert, ya see

and joan got robert inside her house and said to robert, you were bad tonight, you know mummy wants to make a business with catering and robert

said, yeah i found that funny but Joan said, no, it wasn’t funny, catering is hard work, impressing people is hard work, you are hard work, but i am coping

and robert said when is drama on again, i am joseph, and that is what his lifelong dream was, to be joseph, and dance with pretty babes

and joan gave robert his medication and robert and joan both went to bed to be ready for the next day

work


joan barimaster, is having a hard week where she has 14 catering jobs and an annoying son, you

see robert was saying, i will be famous, i want to be a famous person, but joan was getting tired of this

and had to ring up diswork, which was a workplace that gave people like robert a chance to work in the

community and when joan tried to explain it to robert, robert would say, i want to help you, mummy

i want to help you mummy, but joan wanted to have some peace and getting robert into a job like this

will be perfect, you see joan told the boss, she has every faith in robert to do this work, and the boss said

how about we start robert next Monday, he can join our building site team, it might be up his alley

and after we finish, we will keep him with us, until you are ready to pick him up, and joan said, will he get bored

ya know, if you finish early, so to speak and the boss said, no, we will make sure we are really nice to him

and robert said, no, mum, i wanna help you, i don’t want to work with other people with my abilit, i have the

ability to help you, please mum, can you help me, and joan said, let’s go home, you see i have a busy life

and i need some time to myself, so you must do this thing for me and then robert really yelled at joan saying

what if it’s not the type of job that i want, what if, working with you, makes me feel happy, you know, you

shouldn’t ***** with things that work, and joan said, you only got that off becker, ok, i need you to do this work

so i can organise my business, ok, you can still help, but i need most mornings just to organise myself and robert said

what will i do, ands joan said, just work in the community, which is ****** important, and whilst doing that, i will organise

all my jobs, and robert said, you just want me to find a girlfriend, so you can walk me down the aisle and we can invite the

whole family to welcome my new lady love to the family and joan said yeah, but i also need some time to myself, i am getting old

and i can’t have you under my feet in the morning joan said, and on that monday morning, robert started work, and he worked very hard

but he refused to wear a helmet on site, and there was a bit of friction between him and his boss, but that blew over in 20 minutes

after realising it’s dangerous to work without a helmet and robert was the hardest worker there, but the boss, thought he worked so hard

that, the boss wanted him to work at the new homeless shelter, run by the city’s community centre, and robert was delighted, especially

after he told his mum, saying, he will be working as part of a homeless shelter, how cools that, he understood, and at the end of the day

when joan picked up robert, the boss told joan all about how hard robert worked and also told that he wants robert to take part in a homeless

person project which robert was happy with, and joan said to robert, are you sure you want to do this, and robert said, yeah yeah please mummy yeah

and the next few days robert has been going to bed and getting up for work, going to bed and getting up for work, day in and day out and robert was

getting tired from this work, too tired to go to her mums catering job, but he had to, and slept on the couch in the den, mind you this was the best

thing for robert and at the end of robert’s first week at work, joan and robert had dinner in the club, and robert was tired and took his medication

and went to bed

we need security


after a horrific home invasion in which joan lost everything, joan decided that she needs

to install a very strong security alarm, to make sure, she and robert are safe, while the home invasion was on

robert was at a ten pin bowling tournament, and robert was annoying everyone saying where’s mum

where’s mum, where the hell is my mum, as robert won the high game trophy, and whilst he was there joan had to

sit out the home invasion, and when it was over she rang up the bowling people, to explain why shy isn’t there

and this forced robert to ask a heap of silly questions, like why did they rob us, what did they get, are we getting strong security

and that night, joan had a catering job, and robert was spending the whole day on the net looking at security systems

and driving joan completely bonkers, ya know, we must get a security system which has a loud signal, which could wake up the street

so other people will know, and call the police in to catch the culprit hands down, and robert also found a security alarm

which traps the intruder, and joan asked, robert, have you ever seen home improvement, ya know, we watched it a lot in the 90s

he put a security system in his home, and it woke up his neighbours the wrong way, but it tracked down an inside job from son, brad

and robert said, yeah, who was brad, anyway and joan liked the simple one, which alerts the police when an intruder is in the homer

and after a hectic day with robert looking at security systems, joan took robert with him, so she can drop robert off at dance class whilst

she works at a wealthy house on the corner of town, and when she arrived there, the man said, where have you been, we have been waiting half a ****** hour

and joan said, i had a terrible home invasion, and i had my son robert in my ear about getting the best security system, and i wanted simple security

and the mnan gave in on the fight saying, your poor, why would anyone rob you, and joan just went into the kitchen to start her job and a text on her phone

said that robert is being naughty, slapping the females on the ***, ya know annoying them and joan couldn’t leave, so she rang her lonely sister Alice to

drive over to the dance class to pick him up, and when alice got there, robert had settled down, so alice had to wait, till the end of the class and when it was over

alice was left with having to babysit robert because, joan worried about all the phone calls or texts that she gets, explaining robert is naughty, and when robert and alice got home

robert said, we must turn off the security first, and get in the house, and when he goes to bed, put the security alarm back on, alice and robert watched

parenthood and greys anatomy and after that was over, alice put robert to bed, but this was a hard case, it made robert hit alice, accidentally but robert hates the idea

of lashing out at authority and then joan finished her catering job and went home to see if robert had given alice a hard time, and when joan got home, alice said, robert

was lashing out at her, probably he didn’t want to go to bed or something and joan said to alice she could go, and went straight to bed and at 4.56 in the morning robert was

scared of the dark and wanted to hop in the same bed as his mother, and this drove joan completely nuts and the next morning, joan got robert ready for work with robert

constantly saying, i was good last night, alice was nice, can i have alice every night you work and joan said if your good, i will try to to get alice to look after you when i am working

and then robert gave joan a big kiss, and they got in the car to send robert to work

motorbike motorbikes on the waves

it’s fun to ride motorbikes on the waves

riding can be fun, and riding is so cool

motorbikes motorbikes on the waves

you see he is like evil kanieval

he is like dale buggins

he is like any cool dude, who has walked on the earth

motorbike motorbike on the waves

what a cool motorbike on the waves

riding motorbikes on the waves can be cool

yeah mate yeah he breaks alkl the rules, and that is cool

you see robbie maddison rides on top of an ocean in tahiti yeah

yeah, and i was there in the end with my nice old beer

motorbike motorbike, on the waves, in tahiti, what a rave

motorbike motorbike, on the waves, it’s time to not have a shave

carn the motorbikes, bring on fun

give conserves a boot up the ***

motorbikes motorbikes, yeah we’ll have fun

yeah, up with surfers, having some fun

motorbikes motorbikes, having a lot of fun, ooh yeah