YOU CAN’T HAVE A MOVIE WITHOUT POPCORN

WITHOUT POPCORN WITHOUT POPCORN

WE CAN’T HAVE A MOVIE WITHOUT POPCORN

TO KEEP OUR MOJO IN TACT

WHETHER WE ARE WATCHING STAR WARS

OR ET, OR THE MOVIE NEW YEARS EVE

A BOX OF POPCORN KEEPS YA SANE

YA CAN’T HAVE A MOVIE WITHOUT POPCORN

WITHOUT POPCORN WITHOUT POPCORN

YA CAN’T HAVE A MOVIE WITHOUT POPCORN

NO, WE ****** WELL CAN’T

WHETHER WE ARE WATCHING BALLET, BUDDY

OR A GREAT CONCERT FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD

AND WHETHER WE MOVE UP AND DOWN YEAH

NO WE ****** WELL CAN’T

YOU CAN’T HAVE A MOVIE WITHOUT POPCORN

WITHOUT POPCORN WITHOUT POPCORN

WE CAN’T HAVE A MOVIE WITHOUT POPCORN

AND A COKE, AND A COKE AND A COKE

TO WASH BACK IN THE FUN OF THE IMAGINATION

OF A GREAT MOVIE WITH POPCORN AND COKE

Moving up moving up
Going up in the world of love
Having a beer with a packet of crisps saying how’s it going mate
Then you drink a hangover cure
And it is enough to make you sick but overall it has a great taste in it
C’mon dude we need to party down with a taquila shot
Yeah that sounds will great
Mate, oh mate it will finish at
A quarter to eight
Then as we walk through the club door we see some strange people sitting in the door way
You say, just fucken move out of the way just oh just oh just move out of the fucken way
Away in a manger get kissed by a stranger loving life like he’ll wanna do and then we rock our guitars playing very loudly
And the crowd roar, we want a great guitarist to come out and play beautiful music like
I want to rock and roll all night
And party every day
And every day and every day
We will party right where we will say let’s party yeah that sounds great

Mr albonese
Mr Anthony albanese
Mr albonese
Mr Anthony albanese
Mr albonese don’t you quit
You see it has been ages
Since we had a labor government
And albonese is the best
You see he will help age care
And Medicare oh yeah
He will provide support for covid
And hold onto the NDIS
He started out in public housing
And look where is now
You are a success story albanese
You will be the best leader albanese
Mr albanese
Mr Anthony albanese
Mr albanese
Mr Anthony albanese
Mr albanese don’t you quit
You got voted in
And I am sure you will do your best
To help the pensioners
To help the people living in public housing
To help people understand you
And I am sure you will
Make the court rules tougher
So people can get justice
I know you will help each communities
Gain community spirit
That is what they want albanese
I am sure you will do it albanese
Mr albanese
Mr Anthony albanese
Mr albanese
Mr Anthony albanese
Mr albanese
Mr Anthony albanese
I am mighty glad labor is back
To Help MENTAL HEALTH

the reason why mr bean has problems

is he is a doofuss, top see the men ditched him because his nye party is

jus vinegar and tree twigs, how weird is that

the reason why the kids teased him at the pool

is because he was such a ******, making it all the way to the top

and then being scared nd climbing down

the reason why his girlfriend ditched him at xmas

is because instead of a ring, he gave her a picture of a man giving a woman a ring

and a hook and mr bean is a ****** because when he was

moving the hole in the wall, he didn’t ****** well check it

another thing that makes mr bean a ****** is the real world

you see at least i pay my way, mr bean is too much of a ****** to pay his way

and another thing that makes mr bean a ****** is at the putt putt golf course

he listened too much to the golf man as he followed the ball around town

i like mr bean teasing the men, but at the hotel there was truth in the matter

that teasers only win the battle, they never win the war because at the hotel

everyone was teasing poor old mr bean

and i liked him teasing the christian man in church, that was fun

mr bean was a ****** there, because he doesn’t look at it as teasing

his character has autism, and autistic people need to be watched

mind you mr bean was a TV character, but still, all guns blazing if we put him in the real world

he does remind me of myself, but i wasn’t that much of a ******

i was just a filthy kid, i am REFORMED OR BETTER TAKE YOUR PICK

i am a muck around from 9 am to 11.50 pm kind of guy


you see there are few things i hate in life

but one thing is falling asleep in the middle of the day

and staying up at night, i hate that, i hate that all so very much

you see i prefer to do my tapestry, even if i look lazy

i still prefer to do my tapestry during the day

because it’s much easier to sleep after midnight

so what if people are laughing at my old mates theory

if you go to bed early you can turn into a pumpkin

mind you i don’t want to be forced, by the force to go to bed

but as long as i get my creativity done, i don’t really care

you see staying up past midnight is so kids stuff

i want my medication to make sure i don’t do that

for me, if i stay up after midnight, i would be a hooligan

and i am not a hooligan, i am a family person

sometimes i sleep on the bed

sometimes i sleep on my chair

but i sleep better after midnight

i had fun being with my mates as a kid

i just want this whole forcing me to sleep, or stay awake to stop

i am a 46 year old man now, i need my beauty sleep

and despite that i like to muck with the young dudes

i am 46, i have spurs in my feet, and fungal affected toes

i want to forget about the bad stuff i did and take it out through creativity

i don’t want to take old lady nanna naps or be an old drunk in the club

i am an artist and a writer and a youtube entertainer

and i want to move on with my life

i still like heavy metal, but i don’t like the trouble that surrounds it

i still like sport, but i ain’t into playing that either

i am hearing my old mates voice trying to get me to stat up all night with him

that is one thing i don’t want to do, in life you need your sleep

i find youtube is better than foxtel, i watch it from 9.00 am to 11.50 pm

then i go to bed, after i do my youtube party show, if it is the weekend

so stop the force telling me to sleep all day and stay up all night

i don’t do that anymore, i am reformed to being a family person

a real christmas man, i love carols nights and christmas tree lightings

i do enough, stop trying to keep me up all night, i am reformed now

never to stray away from family life a gain

next doors cat jade was murray flynn in her previous life


jade jade jade, there is something to come on her

you see murray flynn had cancer and died

but because he had a lot of fun with me

like mowing the lawn in the rain very heavy

and murray flynn was very impressed with me the way i did my volunteer work

and maybe murray flynn is amazed by all the stories and poems i write

and how i can commit to doing my art

you see murray flynn uses his present life jade

to come over to my balcony and say hello

i remember calling murray’s bus murrays buses

and murray flynn liked me when i went to the bowling alley

on the new years eve of 2001

you see jade enjoys catching insects on my balcony

and the owner of the house invited me in to play with the cat

and murray flynn said, you don’t know these people, well you do but you are still working hard

and when i went into hospital in 2013, murray flynn put power

into his present life’s owner to get him to help my parents clean my house

murray is jade and he loves it so sweet, he is now an adorable ***** cat

jade the cat was murray flynn, you see she doesn’t bother me because she’s murray

and murray really likes me, you see one thing i like about murray

is he had the most wonderful sense of humour

you see he drove us down the coast and i enjoyed that a lot

eating fish and chips and joking around with him

and now as murray’s present life jade the cat

continues to live next door to me, you see murray wanted to become a cat because

humans suffer more and when the cat sleeps murray flynn goes to space

and tries to beat the villains who caused havoc on this poor earth

nirvana will happen if people are understand

murray would love that line as he loved life in every thing he did

goodbye murray and hello to your next life jade the cat

living next door to me

at the start of 2016, old time rocker Bon scott decided to start u[ a rock band

and the songs he will play is the music of astrology and the members of his band is

David Bowie and Lemmy from motor head and Glenn Frey, you see Lemmy and Bowie

and Glenn frey were rehearsing with each other and the first song they did together was

jupiter arising

we were moving up and down the great walls of outer space

understanding that there was a concert playing there

the ,music that was playing was hotel California and the heat is on

and then David Bowie sang ground control to major Tom

you see the music was very loud ya see, very very loud

it was like being back on earth singing to our crowd

oh yeah it is now the hotel california to you

the party that we have, was getting drunk on bottles of scotch

you see that was what my name was mr bon scott

and then i woke up dreaming saying what the heck is happening to me

and the dreaming of a local farmer losing his stock

you see the farmers name was scott and so is my last name

maybe we need to stop terrorism

maybe we need to stop crimes in general

people are committing too many crimes we need to flee them to stop

I know one cosmic music concert isn’t going to stop it no

the man named Jesus Christ said come on Bon we need you to entertain us

my next life is a down syndrome man, living in Canberra

you see he moves his body when he is waiting for the ute doing head banging oh yeah

i really think this whole death thing is quite stupid oh ****** yeah

please send my next life to have some fun, oh yeah jupiter arising


and now here is Davie Bowie

ground control to major Jupiter ground control to major jupiter

this is major jupiter to ground control

planet earth looked doomed and there is nothing more to do

and i will leave my next life to come back and say, i wanna help

ground control to major Jupiter ground controll jupiter

i think planet earth became real bad, with terrorists and people losing lives and all their possessions

ground control to major jupiter

the party is on for young and old and we have no party if the earth doesn’t move

ground control to major jupiter

ashes to ashes fun loving monkey

we know major Tom’s a ******

stuck in heaven and then i met these singers and other singers followed me up

ground control to major jupiter

ground control to major jupiter

i know planet earth is doomed and there is nothing else to do

ground control to major jupiter

all the people in the crowd, just watch ya back because terrorists are coming on your back

ground control to major jupiter


and now here is Lemmy from motor head


i party and i love my life and i know my music was loud ya know

but loud is great and it shows me one thing that i love life

i dream of life and i dreamt of of being dead

I know a lot of us are scared of being dead

everyone lives forever anyway through reincarnation

you can come back to life as a cat or dog or bird

you can come back to life as a magpie or a man who played for the magpies

you see we get down and party party and party on

this is the time for the man to say, let’s party from Lemmy

the motrohead singer who is so cool

he is the singer who breaks no rules

we are on jupiter trying to stop terrorism in outer space and on earth

we need to get rid rid of Ronnie Biggs and Ted Bundy and many many many more

Ahhhhhhhh!   Ahhhhhhhh!, let’s party let’s [arty

as we het together and say, stop the terrorists we certainly say


and now it’s Glenn Frey’s turn

the heat is on, it’s on the street

the heat is on burning everyone we ,meet

the heat is on, we will party right

every day and every night

you see now we have the action and we will keep the flood lights on

because if the heat still is with us, we need the water from the flood to cool us down

the heat is on oh yeah

oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah

we are caught up in the action we are looking up to you

oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah

hotlel califorina is sang so great

and the heat is on every day and night

oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah

caught up in the action i am looking up ro you


you see Bon Scott wants this to be a way that music can calm the savage beast from within

and everyone says to each other howdy, and i say to my recent deceased in music glenn frey and

Daeid Bowie and Lemmy, and i want to show how cool these musical artists were when they

brought their music to help save the world and now musci can save the universe and now here

is john Lennon

i know that there is no heaven, nirvana is the key

there is no hell below us, above us is the parties we have up here

there is no god up here, i wish their were

but i am sure that there is peace up here, let’s bring this peace to earth

imagine all the people dead or alive

you see people say we are dreamers

but we are not the only one

i hope one day you will join us, and the universe will be as 1

there will be space ships taking us anywhere we like

i don’t care how long it takes my friends


and the world will be as one


and now the party is on, and we are attempting to save the universe with music

From the years of 1931 to 1949 I lived as a cat named buddy in the dunbar household in unley in Adelaide
It was a fabulous life, running around the yards and drains expecting people to give me a saucer of cream
My owners names were Patrick dunbar and Georgina dunbar with one son named Jonithan used to pick me up and tickle me on the tummy and stroke me as I purred on the lounge room floor listening to the radio shows and the hit parades,
In this life I used to drink water from a bowl like an animal and my grandfather (pop) used to give me tea from a saucer
In memory of when I was buddy I wasn’t scared as an adult in this life when I went out to play and that is because I was having previous life memories as buddy
And in the 90s I was having hallucinations of Patrick playing with me and jonithan in the form of my friend Patrick in this life
Patrick and jonithan dunbar loved mucking around like two free boys and I sat on both their knees while they were saying to me
Patrick what’s that buddy
Tommy what’s that buddy
Patrick what’s that buddy
Tommy what’s that buddy
Tommy used to say a lot of the time
That he was smart kid yeah mate
Patrick used to put me out at 8-30 every morning and that is when I ate catnip
Jonithan used to follow me around saying
Come on buddy
What’s that buddy
Come on buddy
I used to catch mice to keep them out of the house and yard
It was basically the same roster day in day out, Tommy studied to be a scientist
And I used to sit on the window looking in on him doing experiments and my spirit made him pass for 4 years
In 1949 may 16th when Tommy was in University buddy died and Tommy was devestated and I went on to help the future which I found hard to do but as graham, grant, and Brian I and surviving
R I P buddy 18 years

Don't be shy mate
Go out and fight people making them scared to go out
Don't be shy mate
Hit him hit him and then say you Are superior
Don't be shy mate
You see I want to party but you are getting in my way
Don't be shy mate
Go up to him and hit him on the back making him scared
But I don't like these voices getting out of control
You see I remember I used to hit this man five times in the back
I have a mental illness
I should not have done that
I don't want to get killed
I was a stark raving mad hooligan back in those days
I don't want to receive my destiny like getting a few hits in the back
I am an artist and writer
And I read my poems ok YouTube
You see I was a hooligan back then and I have to watch my back
But the whole truth is
I made mistakes
And I suffered for them
People bullied me around that time and I was hearing voices
And I was trying to be a cool dude who was having problems with my dad I know he helped me but I wanted to tease my dad and then go down to the mall and muck around with the young dudes at the mall
And a few people got in my way
My voices were saying hit him hit him hit him
So I did and I felt great at the time but now my brain is mushing away
I don't want to get killed for what I did
So j will watch my back
You see I have always tied myself up and I did it on people
Like I tied myself up and my brother was getting teased
I don't want to be treated like my brother because I suffered more than him in my life
And when he left home I went crazy and started causing problems at the mall
I am on medication now
And I don't want to cause problems anymore
I *** called a ***** when o bought cigarettes for a minor
Well, I was sick and now I am hearing my man in my good mate pat
You see he said
Don't be shy mate you are alright don't be shy just party
With the young dudes
But my brain was going haywire
And the seroquel is pushing all these problems out of me
But it is uncomfortable but
I was good
My dads spirit is saying
Don't be shy Brian
Write problems out of you
And don't be shy Brian
Get it out of you cause I am sure Buddha wouldn't want
You to suffer like this
Even if he does believe in
Positive suffering
Don't be shy Brian
Just get better and you move on I move on and we all can move on together
Even if I did cause that man to feel scared to go to the mall
The important thing is o am on medication and I am suffering
In a positive way
People say there is no such thing as positive suffering but
Sometimes if you do something that you no that is wrong but you do it because you want to be cool and you later find out you ain't cool for that you can't fix it if it is not fixed yet because I was the cause of his problems
I am working through it seeing people at mental health and joining groups to help in my recovery and I want to stay out of people's way because I shouldn't be shy I should do my art and writing and enjoy it
And I must not dwell in the past
I have a perfect family but I still made lots of mistakes but I was at the time trying to be cool
Nothing more
Dads spirit is saying
These voices are hogs wollop
You see I thought dad was trying to take my young dude away stop me from being cool
And then dad said he doesn't want to be cool and I tried to be a cool young dude causing havoc running amok
And I hope Betty Campbell
Wants to be cool because kids are supposed to be cool
And dad is now Betty
Dads with Barnesy now
Jimmy Barnes is her grand father and I have done positive things being on medication
Which should aid in my defence
I went to leap frog adventures
Where I went to meetings and I did camping and bushwalking
And other bush related activities and I went to the rainbow where I cooked the mentally ill a meal three days a week and I worked at north south  contractors where I was treated like a worker and not a problem child and I went on trips to the coast and I did a lot of volunteer work to apologise to Canberra for my wrong doings
I picked up all the ******* at the
Kingsleys chicken carpark and I was thanked
I played Santa for 11 years
As well as doing other jobs at vinnies
And I was trying to a cool young dude back then
So I won't do it again
But I have to watch my back
But I am found things now
Art writing and YouTube
Yes and I do the BBQ for
Belconnen magpies
And I go to the candle festival
And the Tuggeranong festival
And Christmas carols by candle light evenings and footy matches and many more
Dads spirit says
Don't be shy Brian
Do what you want to do
and don't try and be like other people

It was a terrible day yesterday
When my dear Aunty pam passed away
She was diagnosed with lung cancer and she never smoked
And she was a nice lady
And she looked after everyone she knew
She was there for everyone
It will be a Shame she isn't going to be around to see her grandkids grow up
But the thing is death happens
There isn't much you can do about it
Pam pam pam
We will miss you as you pass
Through the life cycle
And we saw that you were willing to live life to the full
And may your next life
Be just as fruitful as this life was
Pam pam pam
See you and don't forget
To send us a message in death
As you would in life

HI GUYS AND GALS

today i did a tournament of bowling at belconnen bowl, it replaces the usual bowling weekend

and my scores were pretty well awesome, well, that is what i think, anyway

i got 128 and 157 and 141 and 148 and 138 and 135 and 161 and 127 and 162

and i had few members of my team getting 200 games which was cool, maybe a medal, i don’t know, have

to wait and see


here is a poem


i had fun at bowling

it was fun it was fun

i had fun at bowling

i bowled pretty good

i got 23 strikes, which was awesome, dude

i got a good number of spares

and so many near misses

even a dismal 3 near the end

but i am happy a very happy chappy

bowling was fun, bowling was rad

i enjoyed myself today, and i kicked some button yeah bowling, was awesome if you take a look at it

bow bow

it is fun just bowling my parramatta eels ball down the alley

i am not a wally

i have no dolly, but i say

cool man, i had an awesome day today

and everybody looked like having fun

you see it is radically awesome to get 23 strikes

oh yeah, mate





































9.00 SQUAD


FIRST GAME




1              X             29

2              X             48

3           9 -              57

4           9 -              66

5           5 3             74

6           7 1             82

7           7 /             101

8            9 -            110

9            8 1            119

10          8 1            128

TOTAL SCORE         128





SECOND GAME





1                X               30

2                X               56

3                X               75

4             6 3               84

5             5 4               93

6             9 /              111

7             8 1             120

8                X             139

9             7 2              148

10           7 2               157

TOTAL SCORE          157




THIRD GAME    





1               6 -                  6

2              7 2                15

3                 X                35

4               9 /                 51

5               6 3                60

6                8 /                 77

7                7 -                  84

8                7 /                 104

9                   X                124

10            9 / 7                 141

TOTAL SCORE                141




10.30 SQUAD





FIRST GAME    






1                  7 2                       9

2                  7 /                      29

3                       X                     54

4                       X                     69

5                   5 -                       74

6                   8 1                       83  

7                      X                     102

8                    8 1                     111

9                    9 /                       131

10             X 7 -                         148

TOTAL SCORE                         148



SECOND GAME




1                  8 /                          19

2                  9 -                          28

3                  9 /                          46

4                  8 /                          66

5                     X                        85

6                   9 -                        94

7                   9 -                      103

8                   9 -                       112

9                     X                        130

10                  8 -                        138




THIRD GAME




1                    7 /                     17

2                     7 /                     37

3                        X                    57

4                      9 /                     71

5                      4 5                     80

6                       9 -                     89

7                       7 2                    98

8                        8 1                   107

9                        8 1                    116

10                   7 / 9                      135

TOTAL SCORE                            135





2.00 SQUAD




FIRST GAME




1                        X                   27

2                        X                   45

3                     7 1                    53

4                     9 /                     72

5                      9 /                     88

6                      6 -                     94

7                      8 /                    114

8                         X                   134

9                        9 /                   152

10                    8 1                     161

TOTAL SCORE                          161




SECOND GAME




1                          X                     13

2                       3 -                       16

3                          X                      35

4                        9 -                      44

5                        7 2                      53

6                        9 /                       72

7                        9 -                       81

8                        9 /                     101

9                           X                    119

10                      7 1                     127

TOTAL SCORE                           127




THIRD GAME





1                           X                       20

2                       9 /                         40

3                            X                      60

4                         9 /                        79

5                         9 /                        96

6                         7 /                      115

7                         9 /                      133

8                         8 -                      141

9                         5 -                       146

10                    6 / 6                       162

TOTAL SCORE                              162

HI GUYS AND GALS

today i went back to bowling after we had last week off, and, mate

i had a great first game of 167 and a dismal second game  of 120

and i finished with a great game of 156, which was 2 over average

and 1 under average, i had a lot of fun today, it was awesome

and i got 6 strikes in all three games, and 2 of those strikes were in the 10 th frame of

the last game to jump the score to be over average of 156

here is a poem about today’s bowling day







*** *** i kicked some ****** ***

yes mate i kicked some ****** ***

i won a 200 pin for my records

it was a thrill and gave me confidence yeah

*** *** kick some ****** ***

that is what i did today

i beat my average twice which is not what i have done so far

party party, enjoy your day

i had fun at bowling this morning, i showed the others who is boss

except for 120, but that is alright, dudes

kick some ****** *** at bowling, man i am good

































FIRST GAME



1     7 1     8

2     9 /     27

3     9 /     43

4     6 2    51

5     8 /     71

6       X     91

7    9 /     111

8       X    131

9     9 /     150

10   9 / 7  167

TOTAL SCORE    167





SECOND GAME



1    8 1         9

2      X        27

3    7 1       35

4    9 /        52

5    7 -        59

6    6 3       68

7    5 /        86

8    8 1       95

9    7 /      112

10  7 1      120

TOTAL SCORE    120




THIRD GAME



1     X        20

2   7 /        39

3   9 /        58

4    9 -       67

5    8 1      76

6    9 -       85

7    9 /      101

8    6 /       118

9    7 2      127

10   X X 9     156

TOTAL SCORE      156

You treat me like a shy person
I say I am a hooligan
Every day and night
You see you treat me like a shy person
I say I am a hooligan
Yeah mate yeah
I used to terrorise this city
Saying, dudes am I so cool
I don’t want to be treated like a shy person mate
I am a hooligan
I feel the world is closing in on me
Everyone thinks I am cool
I want to slice a knife through your throat if you say I am shy
I ain’t into doing that jive
Not really for me
You are treating me like a shy person
I say I am a hooligan
That makes me feel cool
I party in the club all night
And then I kicked right out
But that doesn’t really bother me
Cause I am a cool hooligan yeah
I don’t want to **** you
So just play your cards right
Don’t mess with me
You are treating me like a shy person
I say I am a hooligan heh heh heh get in there you family ****
Get get get get get
In there you family ****
I am the coolest dude in Canberra


Sent from my iPhone

Feed my addiction
Feed my addiction
Have a nice day
Yes have a nice day
Give me money
So I can buy a pack of smokes
And give me money to buy myself
A case of beer dude
You need to feed my addiction
Feed my addiction
Have a nice day
I want to eat junk food
I want to smoke like I am a chimney
I know there are people in third countries but who cares
Just care for me
Feed my addiction
Feed my addiction
Have a nice day, mate
I just want to ask for money
Like you are a walking atm
You see you should give me money
So my addiction is fed
I look like to people on the street
Like I am big ted
Feed my addiction
Feed my addiction
Have a nice day
Give me money for smokes and beer
So I can have my solitude
That is important very important
To give me what I want
Feed my addiction
Give me money right now buddy
To feed my addiction
Feed my addiction
Have a have a have a really nice day

This isn’t about me personally
It is about beggars on the street
They ask for money every day
Which can be annoying especially
When it is just to feed their addiction
For beer or smokes

hi dudes


when i first moved into my new flat, i remembered seeing adults relaxing in the bed, i can’t help looking in

i was walking up the stairs, and i saw this fat lady relaxing in her bed waiting for her shift at the hospital

and i was cleaning my house so i can make it like a hotel/motel, so i can make myself love life more with

my truthful but negative friend, and i was eating dinner at 5.00 and after that i had two chocolates

and when i started running, sure, i felt great, but walking is better for me.

you see i was saying to myself i love my beautiful mummy about 100 times, and canberra are probably calling

me a freak or saying shut up disable or something like that, you see i like the bed how i want, i just moved my

bed near the dining room and i was battling voices from carers and family saying, it will look horrible near the kitchen

but i feel the  motel atmosphere , where i can enjoy life, and my head is really slowing my body down,

but i will try and write a great story, you see since 2004, i became a writer, to get the delusions out of my head

you see i kept a lot of stories on my computer till i felt good enough to send these stories and i am popular, you see

i feel the itch on my fingers and i have cracked feet and i want a pill to get  rid of my cracked feet, i don’t like thugs

treating me like a loser, because, you see i said every day, i love my beautiful mummy and my big heavy body, **** it’s hard

work carting this big body around, but i’ll manage and i know i am very lazy, where i sit down and there is always something on the floor

and when i try and clean my house, my voices are controlling my body, making housework a daunting task, i still am messy

because every time i clean my house i get more crazy voices of old mates treating me like a cool kid, saying, i will sit here watching you, while you

while you hear these vioices every day till you die, and we are having fun teasing brian, but i write my problems out of me

and i am showing you in my pictures how shades of partying, halloween and canberra cavalry and the hometime party

and as i said, i sponsor a kid with world vision, i feel great about doing this, i remember arguing with mum a lot

and that was because i was having problems, i didn’t want to hurt her, i love my mum,  there is an itch in my stomach, which goes

‘we are treating you like a cool kid,’to my old mates, you see my voices are created by the simpsons, and i am  bart simpson, but

i am not wanting the TV to take over my voices, and i use my buddhist beliefs to stop it, and my uncle Ray pocock now lives in nicoragua

his next life is luis exequiel gonzales cruz and he is my current kid i am sponsoring through and i, who was put on this earth to save the world,

well, i am trying to brighten up his world, and ray will be trying to rebuild his new life, while his last life’s nephew brian allan is his sponsor

you see buddha brought luis to brian allan, so ray pocock gets his wish being helped by his old family, i used to say before ray died, i love my beautiful mummy

and i love life so much, to make uncle ray pocock’s next life luis gonzales cruz, i will help you

i remember eating hot cross buns at easter and also easter eggs and had heaps of fun at our christmas eve with ray’s sister in law

ya see i oarty all over neptune yeah, with methane yeah methane yeah methane yeip

i party all over methane yeah with all the fans of the new england patriots

ya see, everyone in the USA, SAID TO ME, party with me, you do tapestry

and then slim dusty sent

i have tipped methane all over brian i tipped methane all over brian

you see i tipped methane all over brian

and got him blind he could hardly stand

my dad picked brian allan up, and said, i will tip this methane all over ya

but you should be fine with that brian, cause it improves the quality of ya life

and bon scott and micheal jackson said to brian said to brian

you know your bad, your bad, your really really bad

your **** is mine, and if ya can’t get me right

i am way cooler than my body’s celliuite

you see brian is fat, but he is cool, as well

and then i say, party on, i drink my coke, and i say to dad

listen mate i gave you jimmy barnes as your new grandfather, what is wrong with that

dad said, i wanted to be a boy, and then robin wiklliams said **** up nanu nanu

then my nanna said, don’t call my earth body nan boy, he hates it

and i want to sing a song for you

amazing grace, how sweet the sound, leave your family alone brian

you were once my darling, but now your not,

your are blind if you can’t see that

and then started singing fly burgers saying your still not a kid brian

which made brian HAPPY, no matter how nanna sang it

at the footy the flies are cooking on the stove

brian the bbq man is falling in the can

you see we get a well cooked blowie, and put it on a plate

get the fly and say to brian, hows it going mare

in a restaurant a fly comes in and bites  hole out of brian

brian was taken in too much by the alien flies

he drank a whole lot of neptune turpentine

and then you get two buttered buns and lettuce and tomato

with my kid, john robert rimel, yeah i took him out for gelato
then nanna sang

in the summer friends drop round to enjoy the atmosphere

some drank wine, got too ******, some drank coke, for athena;s help

and others just drank beer

the bbq man noticed a fly on his back

this is what he is waiting for tah here is our mate JACK

In a hospital, it’s very busy since fly burgers were on the menu

people trying to inject the flies right out of your system

nanna said, your stupid brian, you can’t die from eating flies

i put the teasing in the young dudes, brian, to make you fucken grow up

this is what i do on earth, since i was john robbery rimel nan said

then nanna threw methane all over brian

and said, i am taking thev darling crap right out of you

brian said fine, you are not my nanny nan

you are john robert rimel now, a cover singer

and then paul berenyi said, you wanna be an artist

and said mmmmmmm, and shoved 234 kegs of methane all over brian, to rid this silly yeah matev yeah kid

and  then paul berenyi chuckled 345 methane smoothies all over dad

and brian shoved 234 methane more kegs on dad, to make dad understand

that his new life, betty campbell isn’t immortal

ya see the hardest years the darkest years the desperate and decided years

these were not forgotten years

the roaring years the falling years, these should not be forgotten years

then my brother came to sing with my nan on jupiter and me and dad went to watch it




Rock, folk rock sponsored links

A long long time ago
I can still remember how
That music used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And maybe they'd be happy for a while
But February made me shiver
With every paper I'd deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more step
I can't remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died
So

[Chorus]
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
Them good ole boys were drinking whiskey in Rye
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die

Did you write the book of love
And do you have faith in God above
If the Bible tells you so?
Now do you believe in rock and roll?
Can music save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?

Well, I know that you're in love with him
Cause I saw you dancin' in the gym
You both kicked off your shoes
Man, I dig those rhythm and blues
I was a lonely teenage broncin' buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died
I started singin'

[Chorus]

Now, for ten years we've been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rolling stone
But, that's not how it used to be
When the jester sang for the king and queen
In a coat he borrowed from James Dean
And a voice that came from you and me
Oh and while the king was looking down
The jester stole his thorny crown
The courtroom was adjourned
No verdict was returned
And while Lenin read a book on Marx
The quartet practiced in the park
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day the music died
We were singin'

[Chorus]

Helter skelter in a summer swelter
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter
Eight miles high and falling fast
It landed foul on the grass
The players tried for a forward pass
With the jester on the sidelines in a cast
Now the half-time air was sweet perfume
While sergeants played a marching tune
We all got up to dance
Oh, but we never got the chance
Cause the players tried to take the field
The marching band refused to yield
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the music died?
We started singin'

[Chorus]

Oh, and there we were all in one place
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again
So come on Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack Flash sat on a candlestick
Cause fire is the devil's only friend
And as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in Hell
Could break that Satan's spell
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite
I saw Satan laughing with delight
The day the music died
He was singin'

[Chorus]

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just smiled and turned away
I went down to the sacred store
Where I'd heard the music years before
But the man there said the music wouldn't play
And in the streets the children screamed
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The church bells all were broken
And the three men I admire most-
the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost-
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died
And they were singing

[Chorus: x2]




and my brother took me over to the new place in neptune

where he introduced me to all his drunken mates, and

i drank too many methane smoothies, and i sang

i would love to chuck methane on brian

yeah we are having fun teasing him

methane improves the quality of each others lives

as we chuck methane all over, tome **** or jim

you see this is the way to PARTY

leave brian with egg all over his face

actually the egg is flaming methane

and my brother said, yeah, you look so high on life up here

and brian said, fine with me, brother boy

brian said, the only gentle i am, is, i don’t believe in violence

and violence doesn’t like me

every time i see a fight, i say LEAVE ME THE **** ALONE

then carla watt am said to me

my next earth body is hannah montana, ya see

i got rid of my nice voice, ms chase said i had

i said,. all kids do that, carla

that is why i believe in reincarnation

and i wanna meet miley cyrus, but i have to be famous first

and then paul berenyi said, at poetry slams you are doing well

you don’t have to worry about not talking

but don’t do what you used to do, buddy

always look like ya ready to talk

tonight we are trying to get this jittering for the families out of ya

then i went to my brother and said

i am high on methane

my brother said ok, let’s muck around hey, brian

and party right through the solar system

and then dad said, i don’t think your mates care

that is why, i stopped treating you like a young dude

but they fight, and your no bully brian

slim dusty ivy gimbert and peter sargent  said

i am a baked potato baked potato, baked potato

a baked potato, yeah

you see i am a baked potato a baked potato

a baked potato, ivy, went up to brian and said

that she is a kid now, so is peter and slim

all part of bratayley

so EVERYBODY STARTED TO REALLY PARTY, DUDES

I am wearing my nice warm black jacket
It keeps me warm
It keeps the rain off me
It makes me look satisfied
Like a professional writer or
Something similar
It makes me look grown up
And I feel very snazzy
It shows I like to go out and party
Like to a restaurant to buy a
Nice hot pizza and coke
And I feel like I can live forever
Because the jacket brings back memories of my childhood
Like, I remember back when I lived in Woodberry which is near Newcastle
Where me and my brother both had black jackets and this made us both very cool, in a hip way
Maybe we were imitating fonzie
On happy days
And both me and my brother
Were using our imaginations
To improve fonzie' character
I said we could give fonzie a disguise and put his black jacket on to outsmart burglars
My brother said fonzie doesn't
Have a disguise and I said
If you use your imagination he can


Sent from my iPhone

My brother used to party
To party to party
My brother used to party
And I used to join him
You see we danced to the top 50
Back in the 80s
Partying to all the songs
That made the 80s grand
My brother played an Olympic game
Olympic game Olympic game
I used to join him
My brother played a soccer game
Soccer game soccer game
Its name was the boss
I used to join him join him join him
I used to join him the team was really good
My brother made up a name of a sport
A sport a sport and it’s name was handle ball
I like ball games ball games ball games
Like footy and NRL and super 15
My brother used to argue about the umpire The umpire the umpire
I used to hate it hate it hate it
Because the umpire is just doing his job for the sport
My brother goes for Carlton Carlton Carlton
And I love Sydney and Adelaide
I love the raiders the raiders the raiders
Even if they ****
My brother likes the Beatles the Beatles the Beatles
He likes the Beatles
I love racey and beach boys oh yeah
My brother likes coke like coke likes coke
Even if it rots his teeth
I gave it up Judy stick to lemonade dude

My cat goes MEOW
Expecting food
Runs around the yard
Catching mice
Gives us allergic reactions
Gets cranky in stormy weather
MEOW MEOW MEOW
The cat goes meow
What is his favourite food
Whiskas
Fancy feast
Snappy Tom
The cats of Australia
Have made their choice
Snappy Tom oh snappy Tom
MEOW MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW MEOW
Says the mother cat
Who just gave birth to 7 little kittens
Butch
Brutus
Sooty
Lucky
Snoopy
Cuddles
Jade
MEOW MEOW MEOW
Enjoy your food
Little ***** cat


Sent from my iPhone

you see before i moved to canberra i moved to woodberry, woodberry, a place where

if you have a mental illness you are declared CRAZY, you see i was hearing voices

when my brother was joking around with me, the voices were saying, your a **** and your crazy

you don’t belong in this world, i know i belong in this world, i love life so much, but all the time

i was hearing voices saying you are a yeah mate yeah kid buddy, ya know a nerd, and you don’t belong

anywhere on earth, it was a crazy country town, you see i remember getting a taxi to school, getting bullied

in the taxi, which made the voices go completely crazy, dad kept on saying don’t be shy brian, i never liked that

but in hindsight, he was trying to get me to have fun, you see i used to in sort of a way never telling lies

oh well, that all changed when i moved to canberra, but i needed a way to calm the voices, of we don’t like you

you don’t belong in this world, i know i belong in this world, i am a lover of life, you see i remember hearing that

same bully say to my brother kidnap yourself buddy, cause you realise you are from that family, he just wished

i was aware, but all my life i have been hearing voices, maybe it was me pooling my pants, i don’t do that anymore

you see, what i don’t understand, why can’t people respect me when i say i am a nice guy, and that is what lately people can’t

respect that i wanna move on, i have had more teasing than anyone, i need a break, but as soon as i moved to canberra

the voices left my head, but when they gave me wee and locked me in the storeroom, oh well, the voices started up again

and every time i got teased by anyone, a voice came into my head saying, i might kidnap in a minute, i remember a voice saying

i am going to bash you up, i hated every negative voice that cam into my head, my mum and dad liked how i never told lies but

i needed to get on with my brother, so i played with him, but what i didn’t understand was dad was suffering with my constant yelling

and he probably went to his grave thinking what he was doing back then was wrong for me, i am reformed now, and i am on medication

there are voices in my head saying, take brian’s pension away from him he’s not like me, i said as a joke, and give me superannuation

but i at that stage, very much of a ******, i hate this other voice saying, you are the only one who is getting hassled, i never hassled

anyone like these voices are hassling me, i understand paul berenyi if he is dead hassling, because i was staring at him, i used to stare

at everyone, but i am trying to get reformed, i used to stare at my family as well, and that is why dad lost his cool, saying i don’t want to be cool, how weird is that

you see, i hated being treated like a man to a tease, because it was ******* me, i was starting to think that these voices were just voices, but outside the

charnwood inn some dude grabbed me, i struggled and ran up the stairs, you see when daniel pederson died he got inside my head to make me a big man

too uncoil for his family, but i don’t really like being a big man or a big young dude or a big kid or a different person, you see when i was at school i said

i was different, but that was just school talk, it’s hard being treated like a different person, like tonight, i was walking over to the sink to do the washing up

and i felt fatigued and i felt fatigued when i bought the garbage out and the voices were saying, you are easy to tease, i don’t want to be easy meat

i want to reform my brain enough, you see there is a movie group i went to as well as a writing group but i can’t socialise because of the buses and

my blasted voices, there was this other voice saying as i said, i want to be normal, the voice would say be like us then, i don’t want to be treated like my brother anymore

i am like one person and that is brian allan,

The Christmas parade
Floats of all shapes and sizes
Welcoming santa

ya see, in the outside world, people should respect everyone, and if ya can’t

do that, you should be declared mental, but i might sound like a rich arrogant *****

i don’t mean to sound like a rich *****, because i give money to world vision

and i was a bit of a ******, because in spite of hearing that saying, i would do anything

for you, even slit my wrists, it might be that i disagree with saying those kinds of things

maybe because i love my life too much to do so, ok, you see, i remember those days

in the psych ward, back in 2004, for killing the family cat, or in 2013, for throwing my stuff

over the balcony, even my iPad, and i made dad mad, but dad, must have known he was

going to die soon, so he backed away, i don’t like arguing with my parents, i just found

them hard to get your say, like, i thought dad was treating me like a robber, or someone

who is committing crimes, actually i only went to the pubs, cause nobody judged me

well a few did, especially when i wasn’t that good, but i wanted my parents to respect me

i liked eddie, back then, sure, he teased me, but teasing is northing, i am sure i wasn’t going

to get fought, if people i knew left eddie alone, but all he did, was take my woman, and

only weirdos, worry about losing old women, and i was feeling popular when i hung around with him

it’s sort of the same with steve, he was angry, and stole my stuff, we played pool, pool, is cool

and we went to big bars in the city, and i remember going to the private bin with him, and i slept

on his lounge, yeah, it’s only a ****** neighbourhood, because they ain’t getting a fair go

some of the things i like in life, is people who leave money, to cure *** or cancer and

i like the kiddies getting a bit of money in children’s charities, i give, beggars on the street, if i got it, i give

i like people to donate food or money for the homeless, and i would appreciate when i work at common ground

i can cook them two hot meals a week, and entertain them with my poetry, you see i hated those situations

in the HDU, like a teenage girl jabbed me with a fork, because, i can help young dudes, keep out of places like that

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE HDU, IS NO PLACE FOR THE YOUNG, they would be scared of the yellers

the bikie ripping the TV, off the wall, and my family disagree with me doing this,telling stuff of my past, but

i feel i have to do, i don’t want their approval, i just want the gunk out of my head, i am a writer, an artist

and a youtube entertainer, in the last 2 days, i have been hearing voices of people calling me a woosey

and i don’t want to think i have to be careful, mind you, i don’t want to get fought, fighting ain’t my thing

dad laughed at my intelligent, i wasn’t aware that he was saying my fun in fighting is over, or i wasn’t

aware, he only laughed, at the spur of the moment, i am worried people are treating me like dad

all that fighting is in my past, and i don’t want to be told to shut up, the witch doctor and steven bradley

who murdered my last two reincarnated lives, were saying in a voice of the ****** at the charnwoon inn

who tried to grab me, saying, hang on, are you the guy from the charnwood inn, and in 2004, i heard

a voice from mark marl or, help me, i wanna get back to bowling, i know now, that is a bogus voice

mind you it could happen, if ya not careful, that was the voice of previous lives and nothing more

i was trying to muck with dad, saying mum is shy, but i found out, that dad preferred to muck with

my brother like that, well, that was the reason why i got jealous, now, laugh if ya want, but i was

visioning dad and mum wanting to do what i did with pat, and treat me like lyle, and i hated that

cause, i am not going to muck with dad like Pat, even if i was lyle, cause i was being young back then

ya know pat had heavy metal, ya know, lyle had air supply and slow stuff, i didn’t know much back

then, and when i was figuring things out, all dad cared about, is himself, i was a strange crazy person

thinking a few kids saying i was one of their mob, would make them be daddies, but maybe they are being

nice, and daddy figures makes them feel great, it makes people respect you, i thought patrick was respected

highly respected, but like most young dudes, some naughty said like a nice old lady and not a terrible grumble ***

and he was very helpful and we had fun together, dad thought i liked life in wood berry, ya know being isolated

well, going to the show was good and going to the football was great, i preferred the footy kids better than

the homebodies, but the truth is, we’re all the same, dad never took me to any footy match, only basketball

and he complained, and as one mate said i am a complainer, not going to give up keep on complaining

i also said a few words behind dads back to the messiah, about his grumble *** frown, i am not shy

to have a few words, as the messiah said, dad is mr cranky, and i looked as i agreed with him

you see, what was about the past in wood berry, forced dad to treat me like a rotten hooligan

i don’t want to go back to the HDU

i don’t want to be shy, i am a writer

i liked dad and mum coming over for christmas lunch at my place

dad looked to deeply into our fights

for me, it was FUCKEN schizophrenia

when i got out of hospital,in 2013, i spent all my money celebrating my freedom

mum and dad got mad, I AM POOR, and need people to understand

I HATE BEING SHOVED INTO LITTLE JOBS

big jobs like theatre, and poetry slams

i still hear dad, cause i believe in the paranormal, he is betty campbell

even if i meant to be angry with him it was because he was mr cranky and i have schizophrenia

i would love them to find a cure for mental illness, but that might be impossible

because mental illness to me, is a trauma from previous lives

saying i am a fool or a clot or anything else

as you might have guessed, i hate people judging me

i am going to ROME TO MOVE on saturday

i know only kids dance, or party, but that is just a clechate

i am going to the show on friday, cool man

i am doing the play again this year

i am cool

briano alliano at neptune pub


  Smile at Brian, olds


you see as we are searching through the afterlife

looking for friends to call our own

you hear mates calling out to me, to smile at me olds, sure mate

you see if you old fogies, smile at brian

you are paving the way to not smile at me

old biddies smile, oh yeah they do

let’s party party party, a man called me ******* last night

because i use too many caps, because he was scared that writing is too fucken harsh

you see my old mates are forcing my leg to itch

when this mate wants to muck with me,  said mate leave me alone

ya see i am not getting teased or fought,, oh no mate no, i would prefer people to muck with me

as i hear my brother as a child, when he said, we’re not mucking with you, no mate no

i said, probably dad and mum are treating me like a cool kid

cause i bounce on their backs, yeah i felt so HAPPY

you shouldn’t worry about whether or not, i am working now

everyone takes time out from their job to really enjoy life, yeah

you see it drives me crazy, to have my mates say, smile at Brian olds, come on smile at brian

you see brian isn’t like the kids,yeah i fight dad for this, cause he really bothered me

ya know with his crazy adult, trying to keep me with him and mummy, man

i hate it, i hate it, please stop, please stop, please stop, no kids want to be like their parents like this

that is why i looked so negative, and i hate my mates treating me like a negative ****, i prefer to be positive

someone called me ******* over youtube, but i must slowly get myself past this

because the guy was a complete loser, his videos weren’t as COOL, as mine

you see it was like the fucken ARMY, what a loser, baby

i am not *******, dude, no mate no, i wanna have fun, yeah mate yeah

you see, this guy was a stepping stone, ya see he called me a ****** because i do CAPS

i know how to load cool stuff on the computer yeah, i am able to have fun, yeah

this teaser is a real loser, yeah, his videos are boring as batspoo, yeah mate yeah

ok npw here is another song


i am a cowboy a youtube cowboy i play around on youtube oh yeah

i party at home on youtube, oh yeah, yeah, man, i am so cool

i break no rules of the youtube cowboy rules

no i break no rules oh no mate no

i don’t copyright any of my hits, yeah, i am a youtube cowboy, yeah mate yeah

ya see my dad is working overtime, trying to get me to use more lowercase

so he made a person tease me last night, to see how i would act

i am a cowboy a youtube cowboy, i am happy doing songs

i sing oh dear, boy can i sing, and i sing rattatat tat tat tat tat

and every day as i played on cyber space, i saw some kids playing in the back yard

i came up to them and pushed them in the pool, just like a youtube cowboy actually actually does

i am a cowboy a youtube cowboy, i wish these voices would stop

i wish the cosmos would stop pulling our cool kids or anything out of us

no i don’t want a mal-functioned brain, you see that it feels great, yeah

because some of the dead are pulling the wrong things out of me, oh yeah mate yeah

like my nice kid, who was nice to everyone, ya see in this day and age we need to be nice, yeah

yeah party with one hell of a ****** RAGE

i don’t want any online predators, getting their hands on me

cause, i write my stories, dudes, and have a load of fun oh yeah

i am a cowboy a youtube cowboy i have fun, oh yeah i do

ya see, people are interested in what i have to say, so i will wash this loser who called me ******* away

ya see he is a oxymoron, his brain is the size of a pea

i put on my youtube hat yeah, and i say, yeah mate ****** yeah

i told ya i was this cowboy who posts his stuff online, and i have fun doing that

ya see, this is a load of fun yeah, and my youtube shows sure mate, nearly scared the cat

ya see i am on medication ya silly man yeah, i am not ******* no mate no

i can do anything i can put my mind to, yeah i am a cool cowboy, anyway

i am a cowboy a youtube cowboy, no matter what people think of me, i still inspire

please keep your kids safe from online predators and teach them how to handle online teasers

cause i am a cowboy a youtube cowboy, I PARTY I PARTY I PARTY, through each day and night

i hear voices of the reason why they are teasing me, cause i am trying to be a cool young dude, yeah mate yeah

i hate being treated like a ******, but i say to you is this, is this teaser, was as boring yeah mate yeah

if his videos are anything to go by, they could be kids, oh yeah they could be kids

but nothing will stop me from being a cowboy a youtube cowboy

i am not too WOOSEY to be like the computer nerds

i am a cowboy a youtube cowboy, who has fun partying all ****** day long

ya see, i hate how the cosmos lifts people up, when they are acting for a play

why are they so reluctant, to take us famous peoples cool streak away


ok dudes, catch ya later, and to pour methane smoothies all over dad and also my nanny and granny

to get rid of their old fogie, ready to call me sweety old love old chum old PAL oh pet

I was barbecuing for my local footy club
And I felt like kidnapping the Auskick kids
I felt like taking them and cooking them on the barbecue
Barbecue barbecue
Cooking kids on the barbecue
I didn’t want to act on it because
I will go to jail if I did that
And I will get the sack from bring the barbecue man
I was trying to be a young person
Who loved to work for the footy
And every time a kid walked past
I felt like taking them into my young person trap
But I didn’t because I knew it was wrong
Some of the kids teased me because they thought I was a ****** or something
And my hormones wanted to take him so bad
But I didn’t act on it
I feel like a big kid in my house
And when I mean big, I don’t mean fat
Just big and full of muscles
I know it is wrong but I felt the past catching up with me especially when two boys played near me
Because I talked to the ladies of the football club and the boys were playing and laughing at me
Well that is what I felt anyway
And every year I went to barbecue for the footy club those boys changed from being teasing boys to playing for the club and one of them played for the city as a ruck rover
I visioned the moo cows on the front
And the ships on the back
I think I wanted to get these thoughts to go away
Because even though the kids teased me because I was getting on with their mothers kids are innocent
Please Matthew Isaac and Alex and many more
My hormones were driving me crazy

my dad did his best to protect me

ya see helped through my problems

he also likes the idea of keeping you safe

as well as being cool

we watched all programs together

like a country practice and mork and mindy

as well as bewitched, which was pretty cool

dad used to call if bewatched

and we used to go on a lot of camping trips

to kiama and bate mans bay

and to a few tent sites, oh yeah oh fiddly dee

i remember when we went to a new years eve party

and me and my brother were at that moment

known as the quiet kids

and i played my dice cricket game and kept my family up

dad made a comment saying how about we turn off the light

and they can appeal for the light

and me and my brother played cricket and football in the front yard

and we played sports shows as well,

i put dad in my football team CCAE

and dad when he joined in at cricket at his big long legs getting in the way

dad wasn’t a scrooge, really he was a father oh yeah mate yeah

he always spent time fixing the pool so we can have a good swim

we used to go to the show to go on the rides and get show bags

and watch the event on the track even the fireworks

dad used to put the easter eggs out at easter while we went to church

and i showed respect for him doing that, yeah that was great

you see i went to the raiders and dad always drove us home

yeah dad, you were a great mate to me

enjoy being betty

dads with barnesy now

Dad and robin singing on Jupiter

Robin'. I drank with my finger
On Mork and Mindy and I said
Good morning Vietnam really loud on the radio but now I am dead and I am jimmy Barnes's
Grandson billy and I sing working class man up here on Jupiter as well as singing driving wheels and I remember all of my comedy Shows I did on earth and I wonder what my current earth body will be when he grows up but he is showing a bit of me
Barry'. I used to be a computer nut in my old Allan family and
In the end of my life my eldest son was wanting to be famous
And if I knew that he would be satisfied with a few plays with mental health I mightn't have died but I did and now I am jimmy barnes's granddaughter
Betty and no matter what I am in this life, I might be famous
You will never know but even if I just relax while I do it rather than rushing around the world but rushing around can be fun
If you do it right
I don't want to say your like me and mummy but I was worried about the teasing back then
Despite it looking a bit weird
I just wanted the best for Brian
Back then but now I am Betty
Looking forward to enjoying my new family with David and Lisa Campbell
Robin and Barry'
Party on party on party on
The way to ****** be
If we get into the right party spirit we cab show the world how to party
Yeah our earth bodies are only young and cool but we are having fun dudes
Your like me and mummy
Neh, that life is dead


Sent from my iPhone

My dad is singing the song he used to sing with my brother
In Dublin’s fair city, where the girls are so pretty I first set my eyes on sweet molly Malone
She wheeled her wheelbarrow
Through streets broad and narrow cockles and muscles
Oh yeah my dad sang that
My brother liked that song
When he sang it with dad
I liked to hear those songs they sang it was nice and sweet oh yeah it was, and I liked that song as well, you see the song was old but it was a goodie and yeah it was cool, very good words as dad is trying to remind me of how the song went, because mate, dad really tried to be a good family person, which is what I am being right now dad played a lot of songs
And he made them sound so happy, I liked his voice singing it because he was cool like Boris Pickett and as the years counted down before he died
Dad was drifting away from me
But I still wanted to feel his love
Oh yes I do
Oh yeah little young dude in Dublin’s fair city and I enjoyed myself so coolly golly miss Molly
Oh yeah it was cool
Dad sang that song because me and my brother both enjoyed it, wheeling the wheelbarrow to party down the club as I was listening to the bar stories I remembered my brother and dad and now I watch vlogs, to make me less lonely because being on my own can’t be fun
So I watch it nightly and I feel really cool yeah, cockles and muscles alive oh oh oh oh

You are being very noisy today outside
That is because I am a hooligan, dad
A hoodlum, you really want to be a hoodlum
The word is hooligan you great big ugly snout
You are a coward and you are a fool
You have all these noisy louts over your house
You have no idea of what you are doing
I am a hooligan mate and I want to drink beer
You aren’t a man
No, mate no I am a hooligan, dad
I am going for a walk
I shouldn’t have to cope with this much abuse
I think you are a great big ugly snout for life
Just go to bed with your wife
I feel like drinking so I will have a beer
So I will go up beyond dads liking
And smoke cigarettes whilst playing
A computer game
And dad said you are a hoodlum
Dad. I think the word is hooligan
I will go to pubs like the city club
And I laughed with a kid
And the man said you leave my kid alone
You fool, and I said you should respect me
I have been thinking only fools go to pubs
To drink, cool men like me drink at home
And he said, next time I see you
I will bash you up
And then I was kicked out of the city club
And then I went to the private bin
Where two kids teased me as I was drinking at the window
How are you going ***** they said
And then I went to Pandora’s
To dance with the women
And o called out to dad
See dad, I ain’t too shy to be a man
I am a young man, dad and I party hey
And you are an old fogie dad go away
And now dad, I am dancing with the women
At Pandora’s having fun
You see this is called fun dad
Have you ever heard of fun
It’s what I have when I leave the house
Without you
Then I decided to go to the labor club
In Belconnen and danced to the band there
And I drank 8 beers, thank god
I never got my license hey
And I yelled when I hit my home drunk
Very very drunk
And I said I am a hooligan
Dads an old fogie
I am a hooligan and dads an old fogie
And dad looked down at me
With the look that my brother have me
When he called my brin
Then I put the radio on
With mustang sally and some girls from racey
Which is a band I liked as a kid
I said to dad
You are a great big ugly snout for life
Go to bed with your wife
Then I collapsed on the couch after a good night
Teasing my old man and partying
I am a hooligan, but only to dad
But a family person is what I was being
A real cool family person guys

The devil is around
Every time i hang around
Anywhere I ****** want
But I want the devil there
Because of the fact that
I want to be positive yeah
So I say to the devil
I am not a lost cause
Then I say I am not a bad Person
But when the devil hangs around
Me like a bad smell I hate it hate it
And I want them out of my life
I feel Daniel is the devil
In every single way
And I want him out of my life
So I made a deal with the adults
To get the devil out of my life
And that is try to get back into work
And forget about the devil
Is what I want to do
So I made the first step
Boy I hope it works
Because I want a good life
And I want to tell the devil to *******
So I can lose more weight
And have a ****** great life
But the devil is pushing negativity
Into my brain and I tell you I ****** well hate it because the devil is the being I hate
Keeping me negative when I am
Trying to be positive
******* devil I hate you mate
You ain’t a good friend
******* devil get out of my head

Hi I am a Brian
I am an alcoholic
My problems aren’t normal
For an alcoholic
It is about being bullied
Which could be the reason I drank
But who gives a hoot
You see my bullies used to tease
Me and then tell me that
If I told anyone they won’t be friend
And as a kid I felt worried
So I lashed out at my family
Which is dumb especially
When I am a family person
And the bullies appear to
Be big rich smug *****
I drank because I wanted to PARTY
With all the cool people
But still people bullied me
Calling me a *****
But I just wanted to PARTY
Who cares what other people think
Those people are big rich *****
Who cares they probably have big jobs
I danced to why don’t you get a job
And rock and roll all night by kiss
Because one of my bullies
Who, now is in hell loved them
But he was a fool, he used to
Stick a drawing pin in my ***
He died a few years later
But I think he is with the ***** in **** heaven
I used to venture around the pubs
Singing kiss songs
When a kiss fan bullied me
Doesn’t mean I will hate kiss
It just means I am cooler than him
And nicer than him
I had another man who wanted to
Squabble with me
But he was trying to hurt me
I said you can’t hurt Brian Allan
And some **** made me **** hid *****
I ****** it because he was bullying me
No I am not gay or bi or trans
Not that there is anything wrong with that
I heard voices in my head since
Saying. ‘Was it nice’
I followed him all the way to the mall saying
He’s a bully he’s a bully he’s a bully
One bully stole all my childhood toy cars
And cassettes saying he owns them
You just don’t know what it’s like
If you think I should’ve stood up
For myself but I would love to see
You stand up for yourself the way they
Were yelling at you
The only fun I had with him is drinking with me, but I don’t want people saying
I wouldn’t have given them the cars
But you don’t know what you will do mate
I felt like drinking but this drinker bullied me calling me by my school nickname
Shyboy, I hate being a shyboy
But this was hard for me
He yelled at me when I had a drink
Even if I bought it
I wanted to leave and never come back
To the basement in Belconnen
Especially when the bartender through me
Out for playing with the kids
Which was the wrong thing to do
I am not a inappropriate pig
I hated that man because he hated me
I gave up alcohol except for a glass of champagne to toast my art
But I can handle that
Those bullies are working in big jobs
And hate me because I partied
That isn’t true but I am a party dude
And they are rich ******
Please don’t judge me
I am an alcoholic I need to Just
Stick to art show drinks
And keep away from Pubs

You see way back in the nineties I was a hooligan from way back, but I didn't really like my father despite him being so nice to me, I said to mum that I don't understand what bugs me in dad, but I still fought or teased him, because he couldn't be my kidnapper in his previous life because all my childhood lives that were kidnapped while my dad was my dad, you see dad might've been a foe from when I played footy as Albert Waldron, yeah that might be right because I might have been a bit scared of talking about that thinking dad was an atheist or a non church going Christian who believed in heaven and hell like my mother
I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk to dad about what I see in him
Because he was my dad, I know he was nice to me, but at that stage I hated his authority that he brought up, and as an adult I fought back, I was visioning war veteran or maybe he was a footy star when I played footy as Albert, you see I treated dad more like a football mate than a dad like I said how are you going cobbler and dad said mmmmmm a little boy mmmmm
He never said that exactly but in fact he was wondering why I was fighting him by saying come here briany why are you fighting us and I ran off saying oohhhh you are just a football mate but mum and dad were worried about me, and despite me still acting like a spoilt little brat, they said give him medication to calm his anxiety
Down, because my problem was anxiety and mum and dad got in my way, and I was drinking to get rid of my previous life thoughts but I became the person I never wanted to be, sometimes I told dad I was a hooligan and he said a hoodlum which was his name for a hooligan but really I was just thinking that isn't me to think things like that and before my dad's mother passed away, I yelled at my parents because they gave me a ****** room while they got a good room and dad really annoyed me, you see I might have been seeing this football player I fought with as Albert Waldron
You see dad was finding it hard to get through to me but I was thinking football foe, I have no idea why I teased dad, he tried to joke with me and all I see in him is that footy watching man
And despite him not watching the footy with me, I still saw them in him, ya know a cool kid to pat and Lyle even if I wanted to be with them because I was the footy fan of the family because I was Albert Waldron back in the late 1800s and early 1900s and I might have remembered dad from the crowd or an opposing player or even member of the pub I drank in and I was hearing voices in the pubs as I mucked around with the footy players as they called dad a great big old fogie
And I was him but I still was scared because I was still thinking of people being nice to me, ya know treating me like a little cool kid to the drinkers
But I had to grow up because I am not Albert Waldron anymore
I was in my mobile home and I was visioning people going about their duties like running and jumping having fun and fighting tying each other up
And I visioned dad getting really worried but I saw the football supporter coming down to rib me about Norwood losing but it was modernised by the raiders and the swans who weren't very good back then and one guy in the pub yelled at me for drinking from the jug and I said
Mate, I am just having a beer
You see there was a different atmosphere at the pub with dad
Yeah, I know it was father and son but when scott showed up
I was hearing voices from back
When I was Albert Waldron in my previous life
Scott was a fellow player and dad was this man cheering
I thought dad was teasing me
But really I was hearing his previous life as the old
Man in the Norwood football club, you see dad was in the middle of my voices and dad told me I was on my way to having an heart attack from smoking and drinking but I gave up drinking and smoking to try and stop the fighting but I fought dad for the last before September 11 2001 and that is where the voices stopped
But that wasn't true, that was where dad got sick of me and that was where I was determined to be Santa Claus but dad and mum was worried because of my past as a kid chaser from when I was st Nicholas of AntarcticIa and Blackbeard the pirate but mum and dad were worried about that we were fighting about that and I was visioning that old man at Norwood pub of dad's previous life and I was santa for 10 years and now my mind is saying dad is your dad but whether he was that old man in Norwood pub or Betty Campbell now, he was still my dad

When I was a little baby
I came out of my mother
And I probably cried
I remember being a happy baby
I used to love water
My mums dad gave me tea in a saucer
And he hosed me down
And I used to love it
I loved my little cuddly dog
And my lovely blue car
I washed it, my daddy washed the main car
When my mummy washed the dog
I didn’t want it, which was amazing
Seeing I have a lot of teddy bears now
I used to love sitting with my friends and family because I was a family baby
And when my brother was born
I was very excited
Untill my brother cried
And I started to wonder why he would cry
But I do know that is what babies do
I loved to play on the videos my dads dad
Did for us
Me my brother and my cousin
Playing around it was fun
Looking at us

I was missing Julia because she left me
And a new girl came close to me
From bowling it was rad
The best girl I ever had
We went to bowl
Had red rooster it was tasty
Then we went to bowling
At Belconnen yeah
Then after that she went back to my house
And I showed her my own private bowling alley
Which was just a computer game on
A 90s computer
We played lots and lots of games
Right into the night
Listening to 2CA on the radio
She liked all the songs I liked
She told me I wasn’t weird
Which is what I wanted to hear
You see we also went out dancing
On a Saturday night
We stayed on the dance floor all night
I wanted to know the footy score
But she wanted me to think of her
But I found it fun back then
A lot of fun
It was dinner and dancing
So radical dude
We also stayed at the bowling alley all night till 6 am
My eyes were really tired
But I had fun doing all this every weekend
As we bowled most of the nights
With all the pro bowlers
I got on well with everyone
We also filled in our days playing
On my own private bowling alley
Yes she was nice and to her I was nice
And I loved playing pool with both girls
One at school and one at club
Rad matey
And I loved being her tenpin bowling doubles partner with some guys as well

YO, HEY WHAT’S HAPPENING DUDE

WHY ARE YOU SAYING I AM TOO WOOSEY

TO BE A COMPUTER NERD ALL THE TIME

CAUSE YOU SEE **** SIR, IT’S OBVIOUS TO SEE

I HATE PEOPLE IN MY HEAD, TRYING TO GET THE BETTER OF ME

I AM GETTING MY WAY IN THIS WORLD

THE BIG MEN ARE TRYING TO STAY WITH ME

CAUSE I AM A YOUTTUBE ENTERTAINER AN ARTIST AND WRITER DUDE

AND THIS GUY SAYS, MR ALLAN IS DEAD

SO HE WILL BE THE DADDY FIGURE

HE PROBABLY DOESN’T GO ON MANY HOLIDAYS

I GO ON A LOT OF HOLIDAYS

HE JUST WANTS TO TREAT ME LIKE A LITTLE COOL KID TO ALL THE YOUNG DUDES, WHICH I AM

AQND HE SAYS, I WILL PLAY COOL FOR YOU

AND WE CAN GO TO A LOT OF PARTIES, YA SEE I LIKE PARTIES

I LIKE SAFE PARTIES, THAT DON’T GET GATE CRASHED

I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE A TARGET TO ROB

I PREFER TO BE TREATED LIKE THE COOL KID THAT I AM

FOR I AM COOL, I AM COOL, I AM ON FACEBOOK

I LIKE PEOPLE MAKING UP THEIR OWN MIND

LIKE ME, I HAVE MY OWN MIND, I HATED WHEN EVERYONE TREATED ME LIKE A HOOLIGAN OR KIDNAPPER OR SHY PERSON

WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I WAS BEING A LITTLE FAMILY COOL KID

WHO HAS A PASSION FOR PARTYING IN THE BLIND BEGGARS INN

AND HUNGRY HORSE, AND THE PRIVATE BIN AND THE FIREHOUSE

I WANT YOUNG DUDES TO FOLLOW MY PARTY WAY

I AM NOT AN OLD FOGIE, I AM A COOL MAN, BUT I AM NOT GETTING FOUGHT

CAUSE, I SHOWED CANBERRA, HOW TO ****** PARTY

YA SEE I WRITE ABOUT DAD, CAUSE, I HATE BEING AN ADULT TO DADS POINT OF VIEW

I HATED IT, I WOULD KNOW, MY OWN FEELINGS

I WAS TRYING TO TEASE DAD WITH THE PARTY DUDES, BUT THEY WOULDN’T BUDGE

DAD USED TO GET SICK OF ME, TEASING ME, BUT I WAS SHOWING ME, I WANNA BE COOL

AND I WANNA PARTY, AND NOW, I STILL WANNA PARTY, AT COMMUNITY EVENTS

CAUSE ANY MUSIC IS PARTY MUSIC TO ME

I WAS NICE TO DAD, CAUSE HE IS A PERSON, AND HE IS THE REASON WHY I AM A INTERNET CELEBRITY

THAT IS WHY I STOPPED FIGHTING HIM, BUT I STILL CALL HIM CONSERVATIVE

WHEN I SIT DOWN ON THE CHAIR, I DO ART, AND I DANCE I FRED AISTAIRE

I HATE MY FAMILY IN MY HEAD TREATING ME LIKE A LITTLE YEAH MATE YEAH KID

I HATE WHEN THEY SAY, I AM COOL, THEY GOTTA WORK

I WANNA SIT THERE AND WORK ON BEING CREATIVE, YA SEE

DAD CAME INTO MY DREAM LAST NIGHT, AND SAID, DON’T BE LIKE ME ANYMORE BRIAN

I SEE EVIL IN PATRICK, I SAID TO HIM, NO, DAD, DON’T MAKE DAVID LUCK DO WHAT YOU USED TO DO

CAUSE, YEAH YOU CRACKED JOKES, BUT ONLY NERDS SAY THEY DON’T WANNA BE COOL

IN EVERY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION

I LIKED DAVID, HE HELPED ME GET MY MOJO BACK, YOU SEE DAD, YOU DID SQUATT TO HELP ME BACK THEN

YOU DID MORE WHEN I WAS AN ADULT, IT’S LIKE YOU WERE SCARED OF CHRIS OR SOMETHING

YA SEE, IF I HAD THOSE FRIENDS WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I WOULD’VE GONE TO NIGHTCLUBS WITH THEM

BUT I PARTIED IN CLUBS ANYHOW

I HATE HOW, EVERYONE IS TRYING TO RUN ME RUGGED,

I HATE THIS VOICE, DADS NOT AROUND ANYMORE, CHRIS’S NOT AROUND ANYMORE

LYLE’S NOT AROUND ANYMORE, IT IS SOOOO NEGATIVE

IT’S LIKE THERE IS TRUTH IN KILLING OLD FOGIES OFF ONE BY ONE

IT ALL STARTED WHEN THESE DUDES WHO KNEW ME FROM THE RAIDERS

WANTED TO DRIVE ME HOME FROM MENTAL AS ANYTHING

BUT I WANTED TO GO OVER TO ENLIGHTEN

I LEFT PAT ON HIS OWN, AFTER HE GOT UPSET BECAUSE HE WANTED TO DO HIS HOUSEWORK IN PEACE

SO I WENT TO THE MALL INSTEAD OF GOING TO HIS HOUSE

I DON’T WANNA BE A BURDEN ON HIM OR ANYONE

I HATE HOW YOUR ALLOWING, THE VOICE SAYING SHUT UP WOOSEY

OF HIM TREATIMG ME LIKE LYLE, I ONLY LIKED LYLE’S WORDS

LIKE BLIMIE CHARLIE, HOLY MACAROLY, AND HOLY SMOKES ETC ETC

BUT ME AND PAT LAUGHED AT LYLE’S STUPID MAN

LIKE GET OFF HIM YA ****** MANLY PLAYER OR I WILL TAKE HIM TO THE ESTABLISHORY COURT

ME AND PAT CRACKED UP FOR HOURS, ABOUT THAT

I KNOW HE AIN’T MY DADDY, BUT YEAH, HE WAS FUNNILY STUPID

AND DAD, YOU NEEDED TO UNDERSTAND, I DON’T BELIEVE IN GROWING OLD

I WANT TO STAY YOUNG AND COOL FOREVER

I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY I LIKE AIR SUPPLY, I HATE AIR SUPPLY

I LIKE THE ANGELS DOGS ARE TALKING, AND ACCA DACCA

AND POISON, AND WE’RE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT BY TWISTED SISTER

PAT WAS A NICE FRIEND, BUT THESE VOICES INDICATE THAT PAT ONLY DID THAT FOR CHRIS

I WANT TO BE A PARTY DUDE, BUDDY, RIGHT NOW

I HATE HOW THE COSMOS IS GETTING PATRICK TO TAKE MY KID OUT OF ME

I WAS THE COOL KID AT SCHOOL, HE WAS A COOL KID TOO, BUT I WAS TOO

LYLE WAS THE ******, BUT HE WAS ******, ****** OATHE HE WAS

MY STORIES INDICATE TO ME, DAD, OF HOW I WAS AT SCHOOL

I HATE THE AFTERLIFE TREATING ME LIKE I AM TOO SHY TO BE AN ARTIST

I LIKE DOING CREATIVE THINGS LIKE ART

PLEASE, DON’T PUT YOUR TEASING INTO US, DAD

You see after all i my mates laughed at me for being a little ****** kid

there was one friend called lyle who wanted to be my friend at school

and i at that time, thought this friend was cool, seeing i knew nobody else

but we had fun together, like a dream made me understand,that we used

to play basketball at the local courts which i thought was cool, and it would’ve

been nice, if my other school mates would join in, but we did play games

with other kids who dropped in, i just had a dream, where my mate the messiah

came in and taught me how to become respected enough to make it to hollywood

and before you say it, i know he isn’t my daddy, but i was a daddy figure to him

letting him stay at my house, you see we went to the movies and top floriade

and also to the national multi cultural festival, and the messiah said, instead of

shop food, how about you have multi cultural food, yeah, it’s tasty, hey, we also

went to each others houses, i had him sleep over, but i never slept over there,

mainly because, i have caused a lot of problems expecting to sleep over in my childhood

you see lyle came in my dream last night to show me the ***** cool kid, in the form of the messiah

he made the messiah, buy all these tickets to expensive events, like maybe a soccer game

between barcelona and ajax, yeah i used to joke with him, and we saw a stand up comedy event, and we find

that kind of thing very funny, but i heard the witch doctor who killed my previous life patrick dunbar

saying, hang on, are you the guy from the charnwood inn, and he told men to shut up, and i said

leave me alone, i am a family person, i don’t need the crazy demented witch doctor kidnapping my cool kid

the witch doctor, is trying to steal my mate patricks voice saying, i am not a cool kid, to make me too scared

and i really wanted a mate, and lyle was the only young bloke who gave a ****, like take me to bet on the footy

once we turned 18, but in school, we went to the footy and going over to each other’s houses, to play cricket or footy, and mate

lyle was a really big wild boy, he was, ya know a fast bowler and a tough footballer, and i tried to keep fit, so i can

outclass him, and i think i succeeded, but ya know, if you ******* a mate like lyle, he will get cranky, cause he has a

problem worth anger, we also slept in the backyard tent, where lyle said, i ain’t scared of the old boogie woman

but, i was wanting cool friends, as he liked the idea of going to bed early, and my family and lyles family all got together

and talked to each other, and i enjoyed my conversations with lyles mum, mind you, there were moments, where i was

scared to go over, because, i feel if i **** people off, i will have no friends, i remember me and lyle used to be big eaters

but, i don’t want to eat like that no more, because, i don’t want any blood clot, mind you i still eat a lot, but i write and do art

because i need to do things with my art, so my eating doesn’t get the better of me, there is more to brian allan than eating

too much, me and lyle were like two cool people playing bingo, and that was cool, you see,in my dream, my mum packed

a whole case of cakes, for me to share with all the young dudes at the festival, but the messiah felt uneasy and said i don’t want

to be a kid, he said he wants to fucken grow up, but i can’t understand why, he is telling me to grow up, and i hate the idea

of being treated like i am trying to be like other people, like my brother, i am like brian, just me, brian allan, i had fun with lyle

despite him being a loud mouth wild person who liked the idea of picking fights with everyone, but i have to understand

i ******* a lot of people, but this dream shows, all the fun times, i did a horrible crime, but i still think that it was my belief

of being greame thorne and pastrick diunbar in my previous life, being taken too young, was the reason of all my crazy person crimes

and dad couldn’t except i had a mental illness, and either can my old school mates, you see i ignored patrick at the st george bank

in the mall, and i heard him say get ****** brainy, like he was worried, why isn’t brian talking to me, and i said to pat, hi pat and

patrick went sarcastically hi brian, your brother isn’t around anymore, brian, we don’t have to be nice to you, i had fun with patrick

and lyle as well, in the new years eve concert to end the 1980s, me patrick and lyle went to the belconnen soccer club for the

end of the 80s nye party, and me and patrick and lyle had a few XXXX’s, and i got drunk and crashed over patricks house

and i crashed over patricks house, too much, patrick got sick of the fucken sight of me, i can understand in hindsight, that

i ****** him off, so i annoyed the mall crowd, and i was invited to a party, but because of the party i had at my house, where

my dad played taxi driver to all my drunken mates, and i wasn’t really a good host, because, i prefer the laid back lifestyle

partying out in the firehouse nightclub and the private bin in front of youtube, and i would love a televised youtube nye bash

on youtube, but they don’t, so i made my own nye bash, and it was pretty radically successful as well, i have still got my cool

jeans on, from those days, but i am a talented entertainer and actor now, and as much fun as i had with patrick and lyle,

those days are in the past, i am moving on now,

my granny took me to bingo too, my nanny watched the end of the 70s nye concert with me

i remember when jimmy barnes through beer cans at a concert at alberton oval, adelaide

yeah, totally radical dudes

send the yeah mate yeah kids to bed, 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4


you see i am a man with a smoke and i am angry

and i am sending the yeah mate yeah kids to bed

they have to clean their teeth and have a shower and shave

and then hop into bed like two non heavy metal likers that they are

you see i am a hooligan sitting on my chair ya know rocking and smoking away

i am liked by all except my family

so i ,are them two scared to sit with me

and it ****** well worked, and now i can

watch my megadeth concerts and watch my youtube and watch my late screening of prisoner

watch women stripping off to their bare essentials, yeah i am cool

i can go out with my mates and throw beer cans on school rooves

and i am getting itchy toes, but it doesn’t matter because

i am sending you yeah mate yeah kids to your little beds

i yell you run it’s the only way to be, you see you f..n wet me with the hose

when i was being an adult you flaming see

i am not going to harm any kid, that is not what i am doing

i don’t like old army men saying, they know better

so i put my megadeth t shirt on and i will f..n scare you

because music is way better to reform

so, you old timer, get off ya chair and move around, and i want to see your old man, no more

woosey woosey woosey woosey

i am a big punkman, to play cool for yeah mate yeah kids, oh yeah

the reason i have hooligan voices



you see, when all the families were teasing me, cause they were rich *****

and the kids who were teasing me were stuck up rich kids

i felt the only mates i had were the heavy metal hooligans, mind you

i was getting mixed messages, on this, by the families, but i felt

that was the reason, they wanted me to be a family person, so

they can call me stupid or dummy, or give me fucken wee

ya see., all this drove me to hooligan behaviour cause these mates were nice to me

they let me into their homes with open arms

you see, we sang all sorts of songs, to scare away the stupid teasing family people

who, are cool kids to their dads and mums, while, me i was out playing with the real hooligans

ya know, partying, and i teased gerald, in the town centre tavern because he was a uni nerd

and i was remembering hooligans allowing me to be one of them

you see even dad teased me, when he came down and did his ya know speech

and the young dudes behind me, knew what dad meant

so i pretended to be peter buchanan, to show the young dudes at the back

what dad’s ya know argument, really sounded like

you have to do this, ya know, you have to do that ya know

every which way ya know, F    U     C    K    O    F   F   OLD TIMER

you see the hooligans mucked with me in cool kid groups

because i threw beer bottles on the roof of the school

you see, it is me the reason why they put fences around schools, so we can’t vandalise the school with out beer bottles

you see, hooligans made me feel great, when nobody else would

the families were too scared of their precious egos, to be my mate or friend

so i made myself a hooligan, because they were nice, i am not shy with the hooligans

but, i was the only one being nice to them

the families were being stuck up

i am listening to bon jovi singing blaze of glory and i sang

shot down in a pair of ******, shot down in party town

when we go out in just a pair of ******

we never drew once, but we drew first blood, my ****** are the devil’s son

you call me hooligan, but that was the hooligans were nice to me

they treated like one of their clan, while the families treated me like total ****

they teased me, and i said, at least i have the music loving hooligans to muck with

their friendship was great medicine, for my disabled head, shake it up hooligan your good medicine

please buddha cure my schitzophrenic head

i said i was a hooligan to scare dad a bit, but i didn’t mean to hurt him, now he is in his grave

with me being too scared to tell him

i was a hooligan, i was a terror, i wish those families would stop teasing me

you see steven bradley was the real hooligan, and his spirit grabbed brian allan who was greame thorne

to say, you are a kidnap victim, young hooligan, you are getting T    E     A     S    E    D buddy

olds time rock and roll, this kind of music makes the families want me yeah

so i play deep purple, iron maiden and kiss and bon jovi and jimmy barnes

and muck with the hooligans buddy ole boy ole chum ole pal

dude, i was a hooligan, getting teased by the families, i hate those families who teased me

i hate being teased full-stop, i hate getting fought full stop

i want to muck with everyone who is willing to PARTY

AND PARTY I SHALL, i was a hooligan, but i am on medication to calm him

no medication alive, will make me be nasty to POOR PEOPLE, dudes, no way hoizei

I am in my house and I am having fun
Being cool oh yeah it is fun
I don’t want to go to the psych ward mate
Cause that place is for losers
They try and bully you cause their sick
But the best thing Is try and keep well
The psych ward is a rotten place
Nobody there has a pretty face
They are ugly and they are crap
The psych ward has no people taking naps
The psych ward the psych ward
I don’t want to go there
It is full of losers yeah
The psych ward the psych ward
No way in the world it is a happy place
No way it is warm embrace
I say if I go back I will bring my iPad
And stay with the happy family people yeah
But I don’t want to end up there
Cause as I said the place is full of losers yeah
My house makes me happier than the psych ward

you know what i want to do with my life

is read my poems on radio

and leave more designs on how i can improve the homeless people’s situation

i want to move on from LEAD, unless they help in giving me work on radio

i want to get my art out there, in art galleries

i want to not do work that is pointless to me

i want to be noticed by ellen degenerous

i know i feel like yelling at my head when paranormal voices are forcing me back to LEAD

why doesn’t 2xx let me read on radio, i really want that more than working on some football oval

i am good at that, but i wouldn’t mind talking to people in hospital, like reading my poems

or stories or showing them my art

i want to do volunteer work, in jobs that make the poor people happy

i want my imagination back so i can give ideas of how to improveness homelessness

i am an artisrt a writer, and i can entertain on youtube

i feel better now i am an household name

more people know about the coopers now

and more people know about my life captured in the psych ward

because they are stories i wrote, i want to put my art in exhibitions

as well as find a way to make it in to Hollywood

i want to get paid to host a christmas concert, as long as i have a piece of paper with the headline acts on it, i can do it

i want to have *** with a supermodel, if i can figure out how to do it

i want more out of youtube, like get noticed by someone BIG

one day i want to get paid for going on youtube

i want to be feature act on poetry slam one day, reading selected poems, that’ll be cool

i don’t want to work for LEAD, much, because i can’t understand why they act like kids

i want people to NOTICE ME, i have great ideas

which are

start a mental health TV station

start a arts TV station for free to air TV

A hotel atmosphere for the homeless, in a small run down hotel

giving money to the struggling on the street

please, i am explaining that i help more getting what i want

this is what i want

I started my young years
Watching right on on television
Keeping up to date on my fave music
I thought I was the only one who loved music
But then I found out the real music fans
Loved young talent time and countdown
And I was watching them a bit
And I bought an album called CHOC-A-BLOCK which was a bit like the chocolate ice cream named choc-block really tasty
Then I watched the local soccer match where the local boys Lakes United were playing after feeling fit and tired running in a church carnival, and each this morning we watched the breakfast club, which was a children’s morning cartoon show they had in Newcastle with Art Ryan who had a Nick name ‘poppa’ and each morning when they delivered the orange juice my brother and I went to the door to collect it and banged our heads on the wall as I was thinking the song the Judas Priest song get arrested for breaking the law as we banged our heads on the wall and we used to tape tv shows like mork and mindy on cassette from tv and you could hear the background noise and when robin williams said at the end see you next week, my brother on the last show said, hey it isn’t on next week, I was walking to the shops to buy to buy lollies I came home and my dad and my brother were watching the cricket and then banana splits and in other room mum was watching bellbird which in some episodes me and my brother talked through it so she couldn’t hear it and then the underarm ball happened in the cricket with Greg Chappell asking his brother Trevor to bowl an underarm bowl to stop the 11th place batsman from hitting a six and this was outrageous because he wasn’t capable of hitting a six like that
They only needed six to win and we went to my nannas house and me and my nanny watched 70s rock music concert and everyone on everybody gave me a rock music concert cassette and it got me closer with my brother who fought constantly like all brothers when we knew nothing about each other and nanny used to hold Christmas every Christmas night while granny used to do Christmas Eve and my cousin Alan played Santa and nanny’s do and I used to count the dongs on granny’s clock and when it struck seven I got up to watch the breakfast club
This was every weekday morning and every afternoon I loved the Mickey Mouse club but granny loved talking on the phone and someone rang about 5 minutes before the Mickey Mouse club started and I had to lip read it for a while and every Saturday morning we watched SOUNDS with Donnie Sutherland and me and my brother said daddy Summerville as a joke against daddy’s age and I was bullied in a taxi with the only good thing about it that we got off at the oak factory to buy a fresh ice cream, we loved to listen to our fave music, I liked the beach boys and my brother liked the Beatles and my dad loved jazz and mum loved the soaps back then but not now, when I moved to Canberra I found out about Australian rules football where we all went for Carlton and my brother and I played Aussie rules competitions in the front yard and occasions a few of my school friends walked past teasing me because they were jealous of my great imagination playing footy in the front yard, what is he thinking and I had a rough friend who bowled like Harold larwood and a strong league tackler and at that time he was a good friend along with Brett and Brian and Carla and frank as I invited them to birthdays where we had donut eating contests where we hung donuts on the clothes line and we tried to eat the donut off the line before it fell off the line to it’s timely death and because we loved to camp as a family in a tent, I wanted to put the tent up in the backyard and we all had slumber parties in the tent pretending we were camping with family, our stuffed animals were the kids, when we played front yard footy we used to go to the squash court to play squash and I played racquet ball and I was pretending to be the footy player unwinding after a long day of playing footy, and afterwards we went to the Yass footy club for dinner and I made rissoles, orange pork chops, and other things and we all pretended to be in a restaurant ordering the same music
I used to play bus routes where I pretended our drive way was the Belconnen bus interchange and I drove all the buses in and I developed a few new bus numbers like the 666 Which went from kippax to Belconnen to Dickson to city to the airport to Manuka to deakin to Woden to Cooleman court to the cotter and finished in Tuggeranong and I used to collect toy cars and smurfs and bus timetables and I was the go-to man when my parents wanted to catch the bus, I used to play tv shows in my room on my granny and nanny’s front torch with people telling me to be quiet all the time
I watched rage and I sang all the songs reading the words from the cassette cover and sometimes when I sang music with my cousins my uncles and aunts were wanting me to stop because I dragging their kids down the wrong way and I played with two cousins in the pool having a lot of fun and I was letting the kids do anything, mate I was just a kid and a mate jumped on and off the pool ladder going the big ummmmmm
I was scared and sat there thinking of all the fun I had as a kid, who cared if I got teased I had fun
Ya know fun, it is what people did before computers took over
I was a normal child

Informer
Willow Columbo is Aunty Pam
Oh oh oh yeah
You see she is my Aunty’s next life
Oh oh oh yeah
Informer
She is the life
Of the Columbofamily oh yeah
She looks so good
Oh oh oh yeah
Informer
Willow Columbia is Aunty Pam
Oh oh oh yeah
You see she is growing up
To a beautiful young lady oh yeah
I am
Sure she will make a lot of friends
As heaven purely waits Aunty Pam’s cool look
Informer
Willow Columbo is Aunty Pam
Oh oh oh yeah
You see she looks like the little girl
In the grinch
Oh oh oh yeah
I liked Aunty Pam
She was nice to me
Informer
Willow columbo is Aunty Pam
Oh yeah bow bow

I love my job
It is great
I love my job
Bewdy mate
I love my job
IT really says
I love my job
Even in very cold days
I love my job
Despite occasionally it gets busy
I love my job
Hot and cold, you don’t get wuzzy
I love my job
Seeing the riders leave
I love my job
Wiping the dizziness on their sleave
I love my job
Totally rad
I love my job
Never bad
I love my job
Babies and kids
I love my job
Riding around having fun
I love my job
Cool cool cool
Ace man ace

DING **** MY KIDNAPPER IS DEAD, THAT IS WHY I ALLOWED TED BUNDY

TO TAKE ME YEAH, I WANTED TO KIDNAP MY KIDNAPPER

HOPING THE SPIRIT WORLD CAN **** MY KIDNAPPER, OH YEAH

I KNOW IT’S ****** HARD, CAUSE, THE SCHITZOPHRENIA, WAS GIVING ME THE ****** YRGE

I FOUND IT HARD TO RID THE URGE, SO I MADE TED BUNDY’S GHOST TIE ME UP

BUT THIS MADE ME FIGHT MY FATHER, AND FORCE ME ON MEDICATION

WHICH MADE THE NICEST MAN, BUT MY KIDNAPPER KEPT COMING BACK

DING **** I WANTED MY KIDNAPPER DEAD, I KNOW I ANNOYED A LOT OF PEOPLE

TRYING TO GRAB THEM OH YEAH

I GRABBED A FEW SCHOOL MATES, AND THAT IS WHY I WAS TREATED LIKE A YEAH MATE YEAH KID

I WANT TO GET REOFORMED, BUT A VOICE SAID, NO YOUR NOR REFORMED

AND I WORKED AT THE RAINBOW, HELPING THE MENTALLY ILL

AND I FELT LIKE A HAPPY CHIRPY COOL KID GOING TO THE BEACH AND BUSHWALKING

AND WORKING IN THE RAINBOW KITCHEN, AND NOBODY WANTED TO TEASE ME

CAUSE I HELPED TO GIVE THEM A MEAL, I WAS A COOL KID, AND VERY VERY CHIRPY

AND THEN IN 2002, I FELT REALLY CRAZY, THE PARANORMAL SHOVING VOICES IN MY HEAD

WHICH WAS, I WAS THE KID, KILLED BY THE ******, THE AMERICAN ****** KILLED A KID

BUT I SAID I DREAMT IN THE REAL WORLD, SAYING THE KID HE KILLED WAS ME

I STOOD MY LITTLE KIDNAPPING KID, OUT ON THE LONESOME, THE ****** KILLED MY CRAZY KIDNAPPER

I AM NOT GAY, I RESPECT GAYS, BUT I AM NOT GAY

I AM NOT A PHEDAPHILE, HAVING *** WITH KIDS IS REPULSIVE

I AM NOT A CUDDLING KOOMARRI MAN, CAUSE THEY GET KILLED, I LIKE TO SAY THAT AT LEAST GAYS, HAVE A REASON

THE KOOMARRIS, ARE TOTALLY GEEKY, AS THEY CUDDLE UP TO YA

I AM NOT GAY, HE SAID, I JUST LIKE TO CUDDLE MEN, NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH GAYS

I AM NOT GAY, I MADE MY CHOICE, TO BE A ******

LIKE A ******, WHO PARTIES ALL THE FUCKEN TIME, LIKE A ****** BABY YEAH

PARTY WITH ME, AND YOU AS WELL YO DUDE

BUT TED BUNDY, ISN’T HASSLING ME NO MORE, I AGREED TO **** MY HOOLIGAN WHO GRABS KIDS

AND IN JUP[ITER, I AM PREPARED TO SUFFER, FOR EVERY KID, AS CRONUS DOES DO

TED BUNDY NOW HAS ME ******* TO THE LAMP POST ON JUPITER

I PREFER THIS, RATHER THAN CUDDLING ******* KOOMARRI MEN

PRESUMING THAT I AM GAY, I AM STRAIGHT, MY PROBLEMS WERE WATCHING REALLY BAD KIDNAPPING ON TV

AND MY LAST TWO LIVES KIDNAPPED AND KILLED AT AGE 8 GREAME THORNE ANDS PATRICK DUNBAR

I HAVE KILLED MY KIDNAPPER AND LEFT MY LITTLE DADDY’S SHY BOY WITH DAD, ON CLOUD 9

SO I CAN ENJOY BATTLING THE YOU AND YOUR BROTHER AREN’T LIKE US VOICE

BY DRINKING A BOTTLE OF COKE, I AM A COMPUTER **** KID

I WANT TO LOSE PAT’S VOICE, BUT WE HAD FUN TOGETHER

I WANT TO LOSE HIS VOICE, BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO HEAR THESE DELLUSIONS

OF HIM BEING A TEASING GAY MAN, CAUSE YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL TO TEASE NORMIES

THE WAY I USED TO TEASE THE MEN, WHETHER YOUR GAY OR NOT

PEOPLE PRESUME THAT YOUR GAY, AND PUNCH AND **** YOU

BULLYING LEADS TO KILLING, BRIAN ALLAN DOESN’T WANT TO BE KILLED

SO HE PREFERS TO GET RID OF HIS SHY BOY THE BRIAN ALLAN WAY

CAUSE I HATE, THE IDEA IN HINDSIGHT OF BEING A LITTLE YOUNG DUDE LIKE THAT

IT WAS ALRIGHT WHEN I WAS YOUNG, WELL CRAWLING THROUGH DRAINPIPES

AND RIDING OUR BIKES, AND PARTYING IN CLUBS WAS COOL

BUT THE KIDNAPPING OR THE GAY ACTIVITY, REALLY AIN’T FOR ME

I AM STILL DOING WHAT I USED TO DO, THE IMAGINATION BIT

ART AND DRAWING, I WANT TO KIL MY KIDNAPPER AND HAVE TED BUNDY TIE HIM UP ON JUPITER

AQND LEAVE MY DADDY’S LITTLE SHY BOY AS I SAID ON CLOUD 9 WITH DAD

WE HAVE TO STAND ON OUR OWN TWO FEET

OH YEAH MY, HEART IS A PUMPING, AND MY LEGS ARE FIT

I WANNA STAND ON MY OWN TWO FEET

I DON’T CARE WHAT MY VOICES SAY

I PREFER FOR MY VOICES TO SAY BE AN ARTIST, BE A WRITER, BE A YOUTUBE PARTNER, BE A BUDDHIST

I DON’T WANT TO HAVE ANY PART OF MY DADDY’S LITTLE SHY BOY IN ME, EVER AGAIN

MEDICATION, REINCARNATION, I AM COOL, HOW ABOUT A LITTLE CELEBRATION

STOP THE CALLING ME WOOSEY, IN MY HEAD, CAUSE, IT’S FUCKEN DOWNGRADING YOU BIG *******

I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND GAYS, DOESN’T MEAN I HATE THEM, I HATE BEING TOLD I AM STILL GAY

******* ****, *******, I AM NOT GAY

DING **** MY KIDNAPPER IS DEAD AND MY LITTLE SHY BOY IS UP THERE WITH DEAR OLD DAD

I AM A MAN WHO ENJOYS PARTYING, YEAH MATE YEAH, I AM NO ****

THE SUDDEN MOMENT OF BEING KIDNAPPED BY THE DEAD



YOU SEE OSAMA BIN LADEN AND RONNIE BIGGS, SACKED TED BUNDY, BECAUSE HIS EARTH BODY

WAS TRYING TO BE NICE, SO OSAMA AND RONNIE GRABBED PAUL BERENYI AND BRIAN ALLAN

AND FLEW THEM AROUND THE PLANET JUPITER *******, AND BROUGHT ON WILD WEATHER

IN NSW, AND TRAP SO MANY PEOPLE, YOU SEE OSAMA AND RONNIE STRAPPED PAUL AND BRIAN

TO A ROBOTIC DEVICE, AND MOVING 5000 MILE PER HOUR, BRIAN AND PAUL SCREAMED CAUSE

NEITHER OF THEM WANTED TO BE KIDNAPPED TOGETHER, LET ALONE AT ALL, AND THEN, RONNIE BIGGS

GOT HIS TRAIN WHISTLE, HOWDY PARTNER, HOWDY PARTNER, I HAVE BRIAN ALLAN AND PAUL BERENYI

BOTH *******, NEVER TO ESCAPE, AND PAUL, TRIED TO DO A MIGHTY LEAP, OVER TO TWO MOONS, BUT

FAILED AS HIS LEGS ARE SO TIGHT ON HIS STRETCHER, AS ADAM WALSH, IS STILL STRAPPED TO THE SUN

THIS IS SWEET REVENGE FOR BRIAN AND PAUL, AS THEY ARE TRYING TO GET OUT OF THERE, YOU SEE

OSAMA SAID, YOUR KIDNAPPER IS DYING SLOWLY BUT SURELY, YA SEE BRIAN ALLAN HEH HEH HEH

YOU WILL NEVER GET OUT OF HERE, AND BRIAN AND PAUL WERE SCREAMING, AND THIS IS GOING TO

BE HARD AS *******, CAUSE BRIAN IS DETERMINED TO RID THESE EVIL VOICES, AND STOP ERECTIONS

IN HIS ****, WHEN HE SEES A KID, OSAMA SAYS, BRIAN ALLAN AND PAUL BERENYI AE WITH ME, THEY ARE WITH

US, WE’LL NEVER LET THEM GO, PAUL SAID, I WANT YOU REFORM OUR WAY BRI=URN AND THEN BRIAN SAID, MY MATE

PAT FROWNED AT MY GRANDMOTHER, BUT IT WAS IN GOOD CONVERSATION, HE WAS A NICE GUY, AND WHETHER OPEOPLE TEASE ME OR NOT

I SAY, TO MY VOICES, TEASE ME ALL YA WANT, AND OSAMA SAYS, NEH, KEEP BRIAN ALLAN AND PAUL BERENYI

FLYING AROUND JUPITER, ABOUT 400 TIMES, AND BRIAN ALLAN, WHO BELIEVES IN THE PARANORMAL, BELIEVES

HIS SPIRIT CAN BE BROKEN UP IN 23 PIECES, IN ORDER TO NOT DIE FROM UNLEASHING THE KIDNAPPER FROM WITHIN,

BRIAN ALLAN THOUGHT, WELL, OK, I NEVER KILLED A KID, OR BRUTALLY BASHED SOMEBODY, BUT I COULD’VE HAVE KIDS

OF MY OWN, IF I WAS TO GET PAST, MY **** GETTING AN *******, FROM LOOKING AT LEGS OF YOUNG KIDS, I FIND

THIS HARD, AS, I AM BEING TEASED, AS I WRITE, YOU SEE, AS I TYPE, THE PARANORMAL FEEL, OF ME, GETTING WEIRD DELLUSIONS

OF MY OLD MATES HAND PUSHING ME AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER, EVEN THOUGH I LIKE COMPUTERS, A LOT

YOU SEE, YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL, OF OSAMA BIN LADEN, HE COULD WRECK, ALL POSITIVE PARANORMAL ACTIVITY

AND IF HE HAS HIS WAY, NOBODY WILL BE SAVED, AND AS BRIAN IS TRYING TO GET FREE, BUT OSAMA SAID, WE WANT YOU TO STOP

YOUR ERECTED ****, I HAVE AMAJOR PLAN, TO CHOP IT OFF, BUT THEN BRIAN SCREAMED SO LOUDLY, ******* ******* OSAMA

YOU SEE, AT PRESENT, BRIAN ALLAN, IS FORCED TO BE A SHY OLD FOGIE, AS HIS CRACKED FEET ARE REALLY HURTING, AND BRIAN

IS GETTING SILLY DELLUSIONS, OF THE PARANORMAL, TAKING HIM FROM THE SIMPLE LIFE, AND REALLY MAKING BRIAN ALLAN STRUGGLE ON EARTH,

GIVING BRIAN ALLAN NO ENERGY, FORCING OLD MATES SAY, I AM NOT YA DADDY, I AM NOT YA FUCKEN LITTLE DADDY, BRIANY

AND, THE WAY OSAMA MADE BRIAN ALLAN STRUGGLE, BY TAKING HIS HAPPY BODY, BUT BRIAN ALLAN, SAID, DO THIS, TAKE ME

I WILL PREFER YOU TO DO ALL PARANORMAL THINGS WITH ME, I CAN TAKE IT, DUDES, YOU SEE, I USED TO ASK PEOPLE ON THE STREET

TO KIDNAP ME, MEANING I HATED MY DAD TREATING NE LIKE A LITTLE SHY BOY, AND BECAUSE OF THAT, I BECAME MORE RELUCTANT

TO TALK LIKE A SILLY KID, BUT I HATED MY DAD LAUGHING AT ME,  I TOLD HIM TO SHUT UP, LIKE AN ANGRY ROBBER, DAD AND MUM WERE

SICK OF ME, THEY CALLED IN A POLICEMAN, TO STAND OVER ME, AND IT WAS CLEAR FROM THAT DAY, THEY THOUGHT I WAS NEVER

CUT OUT TO BE LIKE THEM, I KNOW, I AM A MESSY KID AN ADULT, I TRIED TO BE NICE TO MUM AND DAD, BY WRITING STORIES OUT OF MY HEAD

AND I STARTED WRITING STORIES OF DESTRUCTION, DAD NEVER LIKED THOSE STORIES, AND TOLD ME, THESE STORIES AIN’T NICE, BUT, ME

I WAS WRITING STUFF OUT OF ME, THE CANBERRA CROWD, EVEN THE YOBBOS, ARE MORE SUPPORTIVE THAN MUM AND DAD, MUM HATED ME USING NAMES

DAD HATED DUDE USED IN STORIES, YOU SEE I CAN’T BE THE (QUOTEY FINGERS) SORT OF MAN, THAT THEY WANT ME TO BE, SURE I NEVER HAD ***

BUT IT WASN’T MUM AND IT WASN’T DAD, IT WAS I WAS GETTING A BAZ FROM KIDS, I AM NO PHEADPHILE OR MEN MY OWN AGE, I AM NOT GAY

I DO GET ERECTED ***** ON WOMEN, BUT MAINLY WITH KIDNAPPING THOUGHTS, AND I AM NO KIDNAPPER, AND BRIAN WAS SAYING ALL THIS STRAPPED TO A ROLLERCOASTER

GOING UP AND DOWN UP AND DOWN JUPITER, AND PAUL BERENYI, WAS ALSO SCARED, BUT SEEING HE WAS DEAD, HE DIDN’T HAVE TO REPASY HIS DEBT

YOU SEE PAUL BERENYI, KEPT TRYING TO GET THE POSTER FROM MY TV WEEK, AND ALSO HE PUT HIS HAND ON MY SHOULDER, ON AN AREA WHERE IT HURTS LIKE ANYTHING

AND HE SHOWED INTEREST IN A SCHOOL PROJECT, JUST TO PUT A DRAWING PIN UP MY ***, AND I HATED THAT, MIND YOU, IT DID STOP, BUT I DON’T WANT TO

START IT UP AGAIN, SO WHAT I AM DOING IS HELPING THE HOMELESS GET INTO HOMES, LIKE THE CANBERRA REX HOTEL AND TURN IT INTO HOMELESS HOTEL

AND PUT A BAR AND BISTRO, AS WELL AS DOCTORS AND DENTISTS AND LAUNDRY ROOMS ROUND THE CLOCK CLEANING CARE AND CHEAP ROOM SERVICE

AND AS OSAMA BIN LADEN AND RONNIE BIGGS, TOOK PAUL BERENYI AND BRIAN ALLAN TO SYDNEY, AND CAUSE THOSE VIOLENT STORMS, THE WORST OF IT IS OVER

AND BRIAN’S KIDNAPPER IS DYING, AND PAUL BERENYI AND BRIAN ALLAN WENT BACK TO THE SUN, WILL THEY BE SAVED BY THE POWERS OF ATHENA

briano alliano performing on saturn


hi dudes and welcome to my show, today i am performing a few numbers for you

the first number is saying that i perform these songs so i can spread the word

that death is uplifting, i show you how much i live my life

the first song is coke is nice


coke is nice and redrafted my body

and made my tongue a bowl full of jelly

you see athena says coke is a medicine

and takes the stress out of my body

you seas i was walking down the road

the stress of what doctors tell me was making me dwell

you see i do believe in coke to cure you

and i also believe it can make you happy

because in this life you will die anyway

so what is the problem in dying happy drinking coca cola

medicine of the gods

you see i want the stress to stop, oh dear

and i want it to completely disappear

because dudes, ya see i am so low stressed

you see, i will never get the job i eant,

because they only want the young

you see i believe in happiness

and not feeling very sad

so please leave me alone, ya dead old hag

coca cola is the best medicine, dudes


that was a great number, and now dudes, here is the second song

called 16 pounds


16 pounds to buy a car with

it is a very cheap car if it costs that much

ya see a dollar bill can buy a car mat

it really protects your car floor from looking really bad

the australian cent isn’t around anymore

cause you can’t buy much with it, so i chuck it away,, my friend

a japanese coin is a wonderful coin

i notice there is a hole in the centre

so you can stick your finger in

$16 is a lot ya see

you could buy an expensive tub

of honey from the bee

so if you spend all this money now

just remember the old tune from yello in the 80s with oh yeah bow bow



thanks dudes, and now this next song saying, i am a family person

i am a family person and pretty **** cool

and i am too nice to break any golden rule

ya see i love life and i never stray, yeah i am a family person, dude, anyway

you see with me, i never get stressed cause i am a positive person

i believe in loving life almost every day

nothing can stand in my way

i believe in buddhism because i respect my friends and family

and that makes me alright, i guess

if i see anyone treating me like a hooligan you should freaking get a life, dude

cause i am a family person who loves life every single day of the year

ok dudes as we are partying up here on saturn, here is the spider milkshake


spider milkshake is good enough for me

spider milkshake is such a tasty treat

just catch a spider in your bug catcher oh yeah

add some milk and vanilla and have a party

at the mall i am sitting here having a nice vanilla slice

and suddenly it hit me, i need a nice cold drink

i cloud choose pepsi or coca cola man

but the only drink i can drink

is a spider milkshake yeah

spider milkshake is good enough for me

spider milkshake is such a tasty treat

just catch a spider in a bug catcher tray

add some milk and vanilla and have a party

you see this weekend i am going to live it up is sydney

i am going to darling harbour and manly and circular quay

you see i will head to the coffee shop to buy myself a gift

and that is a spider milkshake very tasty heaven forbid

spider milkshake is good enough for me

spider milkshake is such a tasty treat

just catch a spider in a bug catcher yeah

add some milk and vanilla and have a party

you see as we sit here and eat some nice humble pie

and one kid said i will never tell a lie

and as the time came for after school he said

please give me a delicious spider milkshake, oh yeah

spider milkshake is good enough for for me

spider milkshake is such a tasty treat

add some milk and vanilla and say to each other hey

this is the time that we really party

that was a great number, how many of you dudes want your earth bodies to drink a spider milkshake

and here is our next number for you


oh dear what can the matter be

oh dear what can the matter be

oh dear what can the matter be

i haven’t got much money to share

you see i go on holidays across all  the highways and byways

i wish i could have money oh yeah

i have been lost at the fair

i cheered for sydney at the SCG

as they won the big match oh yeah

oh dear what can the matter be

using all of your grey matter be

the devil is upon the bad people yeah

johnny is long at the fair

i went to the park

to play catch with a dog

the name of the dog was little fog, ya see

he was a very adorable dog

oh what a wonderful dog

oh dear what can the matter be

oh dear what can the matter be

i wish i was about 7.3

so i can go off to the fair

i called the police on my mobile

because this ******* was annoying me

i wish they would leave me fucken be

i want to be left in peace

oh dear what can the matter be

i think he thought i was someone else ya see

because i don’t want to have voices that are crazy

i am so long at the fair


hi dudes, that was my new numbers and i will see you in the cosmos next time, catch ya later, dudes

You see I am cool
But I just noticed my legs swelling up
I put epiderm on it to stop it
And hopefully it will work
Can I go for a walk to get it down
Can I do sit to stands to get it down
Can I relax and let Athena get it down
I put quite a lot of cream on it
Because my legs got bad because
I didn’t put cream on it
This time I am putting cream on it
I get nervous in hospital
Because they keep on testing you
It is annoying I know they are helping
It is just annoying
But I could sleep with my legs pushed in
Need to stretch them out
Watching cool shows like agt
Yes, help me not go back to hospital

in the years between 1100 and 1167 there were two doctors who lived in peking in china

who were looking after the townsfolk, they didn’t have the technology they have today, just coca cola

and methane and yetta, which is now currently known as ICE and they had mould, which helped in

the process of deep cuts and ebrasions, one doctor was harry darker and with him was his wife franceska

darker, and they changed the feel of china, saving people’s lives, you see back then, anger was the most

desirable thing, which meant, if you got angry, you have to wait even longer, harry darker was the ICE king

and loved to experiment with it to one day end the world of suffering, and also harry gave methane to kids

when they had chest colds, but methane wasn’t the best thing for it, but there was nothing else, so they

had to make do with methane, franceska specialised aliens, you see let me explain that further, you see

people are aliens and every day we have to understand that aliens are dead earthlings and what people heal’

themselves up there with, should heal well, down here on earth, you see franceska used to go around on foot with methane

and ICE in her backpack ready to heal the wounded chinese travellers who are going about their journeys, and

franceska was so good at her job, she was asked to be the doctor aboard the boat to england to help make people better,

unfortunately harry wasn’t allowed to leave china because he didn’t have a 1100s passport, which was a medicine license

you see harry just knew what he was doing, and nobody knew what he was doing, but then he met franceska, who was a

licensed doctor, but of all the things franceska did to help harry, giving him a license wasn’t at the top of her list, and besides

which franceska knew that there wasn’t a hope in hell for the authorities to find out the truth, so they just turned the other cheek

and then franceska boarded the boat and was ready for a voyage of a lifetime to visit London in england, on the way there, 13 paople

saw franeska, complaining about back aches, which franceska gave them some ICE, and a few people worried that their minds

were starting to go crazy and franceska gave them methane, which today wouldn’t be trusted, but franceska, also helped a few of

the ships children, by giving them ICE, to calm them down, and then, franceska went down to the kitchen to have her lunch getting

lots of good replies as she passes and days and days went by, as franceska was seeing patients and then they entered the united kingdom

where they dropped off the chinese immigrants and picked up the british immigrants going to china, and franceska sat down at the british port

hoping that, she can finish this journey as she missed harry, and on the way back to china, some of the british went to franceska for medical help

but the british were too proud to let her help them, because for the simple reason, they didn’t believe in this kind of medicine despite it is this medicine

or death and then henry the 5th came in to visit franceska complaining about stomach cramps, and franceska gave him methane and mould from cheese

to rub on the stomach 3 times a day, and this might sound crazy, but this plan was smart enough to work and henry the 5th did the wrong thing, you see he

overdosed on methane and ate the mould, which wasn’t a great idea and franceska said to henry that wasn’t your smartest decision, wasn’t it and henry said

i am sorry, i just have got a decease of when i have something in my room, i will eat it, and franceska said, ok i will give you some ICE, but you mustn’t overdose

because this drug can be fatal and this made henry scared to overdose and took the ICE and went to his room and this time he didn’t overdose on it, but

the methane was beginning to make him feel sick, after him overdosing on it, and then david greatless came in to see franceska complaining about really bad

stomach cramps, maybe from the poison from the fish they had at dinner and Franceska gave him ICE, to settle his stomach down and after 2 days of taking

the ICE his stomach stopped aching and when they arrived back in china, franceska went to harry and they went about their normal practice, and people were injured

left right and centre and franceska in about 4 weeks, was asked to be on the boat to the USA and, this was a very bad journey as franceska had her hands full

with a flu epidemic and everyone got the flu, especially the ship’s crew, and then the boat stopped because nobody was fit enough to steer it, with the only well

person being franceska, who didn’t know how to steer a boat, but she did try and the boat ran out of gas and franceska fell off the boat into the ocean and despite

her losing the methane and ICE overboard, franceska swam with all her might, to hopefully find land and then after she almost gave up hope, she arrived on

this island which is now known as Australia, on the port of adelaide, and despite franceska being a helper of all, she arrived at port adelaide really cold and hungry

and had no memory of why she was in the ocean, franceska went under the name of terri halter and lived in a rundown farm near where the adelaide cbd is now

and while she was there she drew these lovely pictures which made the townsfolk very happy and in about 3 more weeks franceska died and if you are worried about the boat

someone noticed them and they were saved, but that was franceska’s last ship as a doctor, and that ship became one of her art works, in her next life, franceska was betty robson

who lived in a place which is currently california, and she loved that family

i am franceska butler and i looked over harry in china, for 5 years before harry sadly passed away

as i said, i am franceska

When I was Just a little boy
I asked my friend what shall I be
Will I ride horses will I **** girls
He said whatever you want to do
Then after that I asked everyone what should I do
Should I tour Adelaide should I hike in the Grampians
I did them both you see
You see Brian oh Brian whatever we will be will be
The future is so easy
If you believe in previous lives
When I Just a teenager I asked my mother what to believe
Will it be Jesus will it be Buddha
I have no idea
When I was 18 years old
I asked my best friend what can I do
Will I'll be mental will be a cleaner or will have fun teasing
My best friend
Brian oh Brian whatever will be will be the future Is so easy
If you believe in previous lives
You will understand that relating to my this life past
That I am Graeme Thorne and grant Beaumont

Drinking drinking
It is not for me no more
I wanna have fun
Oh yeah without a care
I like to believe in discipline
Yes i do
But life isn’t about that
Well if it is I don’t like it
Drinking drinking
Too much beer like Homer
You see I was a fatty oh fatty
Was the name the used to call me
You see I like having fun yes
It is what I like to do
Then I think about drinking
I say why do I feel Woosey
You see it is hard to work
Well I am willing to try
I can do anything I wanted
All I need to do is try
Trying is the answer
Trying is the best
Trying helps make me
Put my brain to the test
I want to work but I do have troubles with applying myself when the chips are down
In a way I like to get it back
Not worrying about the negative feedback I get about my flaming past
You see I am too scared to have ***
Because of ***
I need to get that out of my head
If I wanna work again
Because workers don’t like you arguing with your voices
Even if you are fucken struggling
I know life is hard but it shouldn’t be that hard
I hear voices of people saying
It is so unfair that Brian gets help with everything and we just do it for ourselves saying that they are happy but they had to figure it out themselves
Drinking drinking is what I feel like doing don’t try and judge me just
Understand my needs
C’mon aussies c’mon
You won the ashes oh yeah
The only way I will accomplish my goals I have set is to find a job
If I don’t work, my brain will go mushy
I won’t feel like doing much
I will want to die
But I don’t wanna die yet
Because I have too much to live for
I love my life too much to want my brain to be mushy
So I will get help trying to get work
I know it is a big step but it is better
Than wanting to die and head to
Your next life

i am a little cool kid looking at my little thumbs

you see i might look timid but i ain’t that dumb

you see i hate people trying to rob me, i am terrified of that

you see if someone hassled me on the street

i will be naturally scared oh yeah

i don’t like trusting people because they scrub me off

you see my little thumbs are going eeeeee like the fonz

maybe i was teasing my father thinking that is what family people do

i really like my father because he protected me oh yeah

i was scared of dogs and it drove my brother mad

how i never passed the dog, even if it can’t jump over the fence

and when i tied myself up because i was scared of being kidnapped

i know i was big but i don’t want people to want to fight me

when a kid said i was his mob and i tied myself up on family

but i ain’t into being kidnapped because it is horrible ya see

i was a little cool kid, never told a lie

that was because i wanted to hold my hand on the pie

you see i asked a man to kidnap me and i stopped cars

to get a ride, to nowhere in particular just so i can feel i have been taken

but my little thumbs and little fingers

sit around the coke oh yeah

i have always watch cool shows dudes like you can’t do that on television and the young ones

and neighbours yeah

and i watched a lot of movies and had popcorn too

i went to Jamison water slide to swim with the kids

and then i go to the belconnen mall and have a puffin donut yeah mate yeah

but if banyone who fought me i would try and say, i don’t believe in violence

cause the world ain’t ready for my eternity things

i know just one thing, fighting doesn’t solve anything

you could win one battle and they come and rob your house

and you look at the ship marks on your legs and then i will shy right up

i know i like being safe in my own little home

drinking a coke saying with my teeth clenched,i am a little cool kid

because i had lyle as a friend, i tried to be a cool kid

flashing my little thumbs up and down

that is how i was a little teenager