party zone with johnny brown




johnny’   hi dudes and welcome to party zone and we are having a ball especially seeing the dockers

beat the tigers over in perth for nab cup and here is fred todo is dockers chant


fred’   oooh yeah oooh yeah freo way to go

we kicked the tigers arses tonight, freo way to go

carn the fremantle dockers

you see it was a nice day in perth

where two great teams, one won easily and that was the dockers

i only wish that i was there rather than hanging around in the city

you see fremantle missed out on the grand final in 2015

but we will make the nab cup ours my friend, ready to p p party

free way to go, kick the tigers back to melbourne ya know

free way to go, we are the fremantle dockers

go the dockers

johnny’ thanks fred and now here is noelene with it’s my party

noelene’  it’s my party and i will enjoy life if i want to, enjoy life if i want to

enjoy life if i want, it’s my party and i will enjoy life if i want to

you would enjoy life too if you were here too

nobody knows where peter has gone we entered the club the same time

he can’t be gone because i would’ve noticed that, so where the **** has he gone

you see the party is over and we are talking and talking

but i can’t enjoy myself without peter around

i try and enjoy life, but it’s hard for me too, cause peter could be dead

it’s my party and i will enjoy myself if i want to enjoy life if i want to

it’s my party and i can enjoy life if i want to every single day

you see i bought a can of bourbon and looked all over for peter

but he was nowhere around, and i let out a frown and i looked like an old digger

it’s my party and i can enjoy life if i want if i want if i really want to

it’s my party and i can enjoy life if i want to all night long

johnny’  thanks noelene and now here is thomas with 3 jokes


thomas’  ok the first joke is

how many blondes does it take to ***** in a light bulb?

need to know ASAP


At the real life top gun program     the one the film was based on

there is a $5 fine for any staffer who references or quotes the movie


a canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how

to test your dogs IQ.  here how it works

if you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you


johnny’   ha ha ha, thank you thomas and now here is pamela with her entertainment piece

i party you party every single day

you party me party right till the end of the day

you see your puppy is getting fat from eating too much puppy pal

and we need to start an exercise program

where the puppy has to get fit

my cat goes meow meow meow

my cat goes meow, when he wants something to eat

my cow goes mooooo moooooo moooooo

my cow goes moooooo when she has some dairy for us

my sheep goes ba ba ba  my sheep goes ba ba ba

my sheep goes ba ba ba, when he ****** needs to be sheered


johnny’  thanks pamela, and now here is olly with his song

olly’   if you a happy and you know it, have a party

are you a bit of a smarty.

if you are happy and you love life like you wife does

if your happy and you know it have a party

do you get happy when you drink a glass of beer

or do you get happy when you have a pina colada

are you happy and you know it, and you want someone to dance with

if you are happy and you know it, have a party

johnny’  now here is another joke this time from craig

craig’   why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings”

it’s hardly ever for them

johnny’  yeah i hate the knock on the door when i am in the middle of my favourite show, it’s bad

and now here is paul with his jingle

have you got the right to party

have you the right to be a smarty

no matter what i wanna see yoooou

i want to pull my ******, and think of dragging a woman home with me

and we can have a lot of made up ***

we can definitely take it

and we will break it

we will surely take it, oh yeah

do i have the right to be here

do i deserve to party

i think so, because i work very hard

i want to drink a coffee to **** the hangover

because partying is my middle name, ooooh yeah


johnny’   ok that is all and  there ain’t no more, but here is craig with a joke way to go, craig

craig’   my 5 year old son is crazy about cars, so i took him to his first car show. he loved seeing

all the different models and brands and gushed over the big engines, the colours and even the wheels

but the car was mostly ……  see you if you could guess it

johnny’   ok thanks, and we will see you next time on party zone with johnny brown

gooooooodbye dudes

you see as i sit there doing my tapestry

i feel an itch in my stomach saying

tease the **** tease the **** tease the ****

and i want the voice to go, tease the ****

you see i don’t believe in going to bed early

i go to bed at 11.15 pm, i sit there doing my art

and people are sitting on the computer saying

he’s not like us anymore, what the **** is us

you see i don’t like it when you wave your arms about

i don’t like it, when you decide to vote me out

you see i hear the teasers are like little animals nibbling at a piece of cheese

which is my stomach

i hate it when people can’t except me being here

i have moved out now, and i am glad they voted abbott out

you see as they laugh saying ha ha ha your not a cool kid

ha ha ha ha your not a cool kid

you see i don’t like it, when people push hooligans right to me

i don’t like it, when they just are creeping into my stomach

you see it’s like i am being bitten by a mouse or rat

you see i don’t like it, when people don’t let me be what i wanna be

you see i don’t like it being told i have to drink coffee

too much caffeine too much caffeine

i hate it when people can’t except being dead

so it’s true, i hate it when my best mate is fred

you put your wagon wheel down, so you can piddle on your car

go off to the pub to buy a pina calada oh yeah

you see we party all night long

and we never lose our marbles

and when we drink water we fucken gargle

you see i am trying to fight off my desire to eat breakfast cereal at 9 at night

can’t be too good for you, but i ate peaches and nectarines so cool

you see i have a big yawn at the sight of stupid old timers

i like looking at you tube videos of my nannas new life, john robert rimel

you see i am partying at the pub and screaming as i say

we just sit here, all fucken day

saying, i will sit here sit ****** here

saying you are nothing but a big buffoon

you see up up and away in a big red balloon

trying to sing songs from the album of tim minchin

not perfect and fat children and some people have it worst than i

that man inspired me to live my life being a total cool dude

you see i am trying not to **** anyone off, but really it’s hard when others don’t share your opinion

i try to be respectful as i talk to them, but i like talking to them, and sometimes it’s good to laugh

i don’t mean much from that

i don’t want to fight at the mall with the big strong man

i prefer to be at home on the internet watching TV

really, i have to fight my eating urges i have by saying, STOP STOP STOP

I do believe in buddhism and the paranormal too

but i don’t want to cross both of them, because that can cause

like i sang fly burgers are good enough to eat

we go around saying hello to everyone we meet

the internet is cool as well as TV too

but i hate reality TV, it makes me wanna spew

up the world and love life with me

you see i am very very hungry, so much in fact

i burp very weirdly, yeah i feel so weird

i burp loud and i burp soft when i have a nice cream bun or a nice beef nachos

and i feel like a nice packet of chocolate biscuits

ya know to have with my coca cola

i was watching ellen degenerous and i felt like eating the pie that went in the contestants face

yeah i feel like a bag of popcorn as well as choctop at the movies

because my mouth is burping very weirdly

i don’t want to have this burping feeling

i feel like a strawberry milk and i am fighting myself saying, no, i don’t need it

the strawberry milk says yes, i do, but i don’t want a strawberry milk, it’ll just make me fat

i wanna lose weight but the burping is making me want food, i want a nice chocolate bar

and i want a bag of marshmallows, i want to have more energy

so i can be a cool person, that i am,

i know the burping really is bugging me

and i do want it to stop, STOP, making me feel this way, i want to an artist and a writer and not an eater

please leave me alone strawberry milk and leave me alone chocolate biscuits, i don’t want to eat you

i feel like a chocolate biscuit, but then i say, i will grow fat, ya know keep the fat on me

i don’t want to be fat, i want to lose weight, so leave me alone ya ****** strawberry milk and coke

i want to feel fit in my mind, so i can write and be creative

please leave me alone, junk food, i don’t want to eat you

but the junk food gets in my mind and makes me smell the nice chocolate

i know coke used to be a medicine, but i don’t wanna drink ya

i like to have a healthy lifestyle, and i want to lose this burping because

it’s the medication making me wanna eat, like donuts and vanilla slices and cream buns

and dewok chinese stir fry’s and chocolate biscuits and chocolate desserts and strawberry milk

and a large bottle of coca cola, as my medicine, I DON’T WANT THAT

i had a garden salad for lunch as well as a few glasses of water

i hate being fat, so that means at 2-30 pm, i will go for another walk, whether i feel like it or not

because i must get rid of all this food from my body, so i don’t get diabetes

so if you feel fat, because you eat too much food, push yourself into walking

and walk a regular pace, so you don’t feel sluggish

hi dudes



today i went to a healthy eating class and they said, that i have been eating unhealthy

well, i have been drinking lots of coca cola and lots of strawberry milk, ya know large bottle

i have been eating loads of chocolates and chocolate desserts, but i do have salad with

steak with mushroom butter, oh how tasty as, you see i need to go for more walks and cut down

on what i eat, so i can lose weight, even if your feet are sore, you still have to walk, but i haven’t been

walking all the time, i just let my fat pile up, so what i learnt, if i can get off the couch more, and

go for a walk and stop eating chocolates and chips and desserts and coca cola, and this is what

i will do, every time i feel like eating a lot, i will go for a walk, even if it kills me, you see i met a girl

not mentioning names who fights her body when she feels like eating junk food, and i feel inspirited

by that, you see, i might fight my legs being so tired, and go for a walk, because if you look at it

it won’t **** me, because, back in the 1990s, i was really fat, fatter than i am now, and i walked from

page to hawker and page to florey and page to the mall, and i didn’t know it at first, but i lost a lot of weight

you see i ain’t ready to die yet, i have a lot of things to do, but instead of moping around, i am going to do

something about it, it might look like i am living in the past, but i am not, i am going to try and keep my walking

up every time i feel like going to the shop to buy chocolates and strawberry milk and desserts or coke

even if my legs are really tired, i don’t sit down, i will just sweat it out, i haven’t been doing that lately but

even if i don’t inspire people, i still want to push myself, so i can look young and feel good about myself

you see i was running and mum was saying that, the medication was leaving me through sweat, well maybe it did

but i was healthy, well in my body, because when i was running, i was yelling at my voices, which gave passers by

the point i was being hassled, but i was running away from my voices, but i really want to return to that healthy weight

again, so, when i feel like buying strawberry milk and chocolate, etc etc, i will go for a walk, sometimes i could walk at 7.30 pm

after my television shows, because i will be healthy again, and maybe i can become involved in a lot more cool stuff, because

i don’t want to die of diabetes, i just like strawberry milk, and besides which, i haven’t got much energy to walk or do anything

but i am going to fight my body, make sure i go for at least two walks a day, but i don’t want to become obsessed with it because

obsession isn’t quite good, when i was running, i was shafted off to hospital,(psych ward), on a night where i was being tortured by my mind

to go down to hawker shops steal a coke and then drop $2.00 on the ground, to help the poor people doing it tough, but i didn’t do that

actually i went to the psych ward where i was told that i wasn’t helping in there, mind you, i tried, but i wasn’t, and i want to go for more walks around

the suburb of hawker canberra, and occasionally around the lakes in canberra, and stop drinking coke and strawberry milk and stop eating chocolates,

well i might get myself to an healthy weight, mind you if i relax and do my art, my legs shouldn’t be tired next time i go for a walk

i know, this feels like bullying, but it’s not, it’s just trying to get my body back to the 2013 weight, and i need to keep taking my medication

i should pretty cool, dude

party zone with johnny brown valentine jingles



johnny’   hi dudes and welcome to party zone and on tonights show

we want people to sing a jingle for valentines day and this is going to be cool

and our first jingle is rona singing about her lover george


oh george, my only love

you make me happy like a turtle dove

you see i know now, how much i love you

so george come back to me

you see i love you george and i know that is mutual

you see i love you more george better than pete and bruce yeah

we make love on the lawn outside your house

we will be as quiet as a mouse

you see i love you george that much is true

so that just means wollopolloo, i love you george

johnny’      thanks rona and now here is tony with his jingle about franceska

you are my sunshine, my dear franceska

you make me happy, knowing skies are grey

you see franceska, i know i love you

and i will bring the sunshine of franceska back

and mrs franceska bates, you are the sweetest lady i know

you are a very nice lady, ready for a kiss

you just go off like a snake going hiss

when you leave my house you are sadly missed

franceska bates you are my perfect bliss

johnny’   thanks tony, as we are enjoying these jingles about everyone’s valentine, top secret

and now here is ernie gibbs singing about his sweet sixteen girl, marlene

you see i love you very much

your body seems to warm to touch

marlene, you are my favourite bird

why do i call you a bird that is quite absurd

marlene i love you you are my chickadee

your sixteen your beautiful and your mine

do you want to *** me up

grabbing my ***** and putting it in my cup

i want to take you on a holiday

spending all last weeks pay on *** and love and ******* around

your sixteen your beautiful and your mine, i love you marlene

johnny’  thank you ernie and now here is mark with a song about harriett

you see when we die we get reincarnated, into another person

and if i die before you harriett, that is exactly what i want

i want you to move on, and have a kid, and i want to be reincarnated as that kid

i want you to hold me cuddle me, keep me warm

you see i don’t want our deaths stopping us from being together

you see harriett i love you on every day, especially on valentines day

you see harriett i am prepared for all my occasions on each life my soul takes

never to split us up

johnny’ thanks mark and now here is the band red tape to sing love me tender

and here it is now



"Love Me Tender"

Love me tender,
love me sweet,
never let me go.
You have made my life complete,
and I love you so.

Love me tender,
love me true,
all my dreams fulfilled.
For my darlin' I love you,
and I always will.

Love me tender,
love me long,
take me to your heart.
For it's there that I belong,
and we'll never part.

Love me tender,
love me dear,
tell me you are mine.
I'll be yours through all the years,
till the end of time.

(When at last my dreams come true
Darling this I know
Happiness will follow you
Everywhere you go).




johnny’  ok dudes, it’s time for us to go, but we have a message from tony to yorke

i love ya i love ya i love ya you are my world yorke

johnny, time to go, catch ya later dudes

i don’t really want a body guard

no, man, not for me

because i am a nice person, dude

and i don’t need no police and the security guards

i hate being some dude that needs a body guard

because i hear voices saying, i am not your bodyguard, buddy

i don’t want to have a bodyguard

i am too cool for that

it’s nice how the police can protect you

but i hate the idea of bodyguards

you see when i was young i hung around the people

ya know, i want to really love life

you see if i have a bodyguard, i could end up in more danger than what i bargain for

you see while i watch prisoner i learn it is ****** hard to be a bodyguard

a lot of ****** work, but you see the bent screws like the freak ferguson

and **** stewart and stewart gillespie from prisoner abusing their fucken power

i hate the idea of having a bodyguard it will make me feel stupid

and i can tell you guys, i ain’t stupid no fear

i don’t want a bodyguard because they can’t be perfect oh no

because i don’t want people fussing over me, like i am a fresh piece of meat

you see i am an artist and writer and i perform on youtube

and i hate the idea of a stupid bodyguard coming in on me

you see i am a young dude and i wanna party really really party yeah i do

ya see partying is my middle name, i wanna party all night

you see i am flying off to saturn to saturn to saturn

i am flying in outer space trying to get rid of earth problems

you see i look up because i star at people, i can’t help it, i just stare at people

i will open a bottle of coke and slam it down, yeah mate yeah i will

you see i want to help people but i find it very hard, because of my past, i feel uneasy

you see i feel my hooligan leaving me, but some voices try to stay close to me, oh dude

i want to have s lemonade, oh dude i really want this lemonade

lemonade is so tasty, to have with nachos and cheese my friend

party dude, really party down, i don’t want to get bullied because i might feel queer

ya know feel different as well as feel really queer

i don’t fancy getting bullied just for being queer, please leave me alone

i am a real cool party dude, i wanna party, yeah that’s what i want

i will party with champagne to toast my art, and i ain’t really into helping because of the red tape

i like doing things, to keep me amused and make me happy, ya know make me party on

i will promise i won’t stare at you, because dude it makes me wanna party dude

you see the young people have been laughing at me because i yell my little guts out

i am not like my friends of the past, because they are living in the past with me in my mind

you see i think it’s wrong to ****** a baby from his/her mothers arms, you might say i like it but i know i don’t

you see people are drinking coffee and tea, i prefer to have soft drinks for me

you see the voices are pulling my head around, it’s awful what the ghosts are doing to my head

my little head is starting to improve by body, but i don’t want to fall back, no mate no

i watch adam hills on dvd as well as  col’n carpenter as well as prisoner

you see i see people are trying to reform themselves, some get reformed others don’t

it’s good to see those inmates out of prison, because they are good membes of the system

not everyone just a few, you see a lot of them have become do-gooders, but there is nothing wrong with that, oh no

you see i see screws turning the hose on them, you just to get them to behave, he turns the hose on them

the water sprays on them making them scared, yeah, we did the wrong thing

so i feel people trying to lift me up from my chair, let me relax

the only young dude i am is a party dude, cool cool cool cool man

you see as i am loving life singing rock my soul in the ***** of abraham

rock my soul in the ***** of abraham, please lord rock my soul

and then i play the heavy metal dude really loud, then i play the heavy metal really loud

then i play the heavy metal dude, really loud, oh rock my soul

and i have a fire near my house mate, i have a fire near my house mate

i have a fire near my house mate, with two big trucks coming in

you see everyone is treating it like a sports event everyone is treating it like a sports event

you see everyone is treating it like it is a sports event, oh rock my soul

you see i know the fire is nowhere near me, but it’s awful and it’s amazing how it came about, dude

you see it’s hard as my voices are saying go out there and have a look, but i don’t wanna do that

you see the fire was provoked by the ghost of ronnie biggs, and because of him

the firefighters are fighting it, hoping that nobody gets harmed ya know

because if anyone gets harmed it’ll be bad, you see the fire started at about 6.30 pm

a big fire truck drove right past my flat, i thought it was a removal truck, dude

because people were moving in upstairs and, dude but i noticed smoke at d block, and

i stayed inside, they had barricades at the car park at d block

and i feel like a lot of excitement, dude

i use dude because i think it’s a word you use to have fun

and for the people of this block of flats, well, all their christmasses have come at once

the boy who was treated differently from the families



you see young mr thomas jordan really hated his family, thinking they were different to him

or something, and thomas did a few things wrong like grabbing mouths of all his best mates

because he had mulit personality disorder or something, you see thomas was afraid of getting kidnapped

but, what was really going on, the bad guys decided to treat him like one of them, but thomas didn’t want

that because he was too good for them but because thomas was uneducated, he was the chosen one

to get bashed by these heavies, you see the heavies said, we  are big fierce hooligans and we are really

rough, and thomas said back to them, i will never be like you guys, and i am not like you guys, i believe

in family values, of course new age family values, not the old values, and thomas hated being treated like an old fogie

and the heavies said, we are big rough hooligans and thomas is one of us, he ain’t shy as long as he

understood, he is one of us, you see thomas said, no, leave me alone, i hate the hooligan life, you might be a hooligan

but i am not said thomas, and the heavies said SHUT UP you are still like us, and as long as you understand this

you will be fine, let the jordans do what they want, they are family people, but you thomas have a lot to learn about

family values, you see you do what we say forever, ok and thomas said, *******, i don;t want to be like you guys

i ain’t a hooligan like you, i like good old family values, but the heavies said, no dude, you have to do as we say

and thomas said, i will never hand money under a door, or i will never get caught up in robbing banks, because

it is a hard life if you do things wrong, i know i don’t meet the criteria for a family person but i am, i don’t want

to get caught under your trap and the heavies said, you are calling us a trap, we will come and bash you up

and thomas said, i hate the idea of violence in any way, and i have never put a foot wrong in the family’s eye

i prefer to not be approached by you, because committing crimes ain’t my thing, the heavies said SHUT UP

OR I WILL GET MY HEAVIES TO CONSTANTLY BEAT YOU, and then the heavies told thomas we are big hooligans

and so are you, if you don’t cooperate with us, we will have you bashed, it’s not kidnapping, it’s bashing, because

thomas, you are not a family person, you are a hooligan just like us, but thomas was very scared, you see he didn’t want to commit

crimes, he just wanted to stay in his humble home and occasionally go out to fun street events, but the heavies said

hey thomas, i won’t say your last name, because you are nothing like them, you are one of our hooligan brigades

you see thomas was very scared, he hates the idea of being with these heavies, and then thomas went to beach

and met up with Butch the surfie dude who used his back to squash it on thomas, making it hard for him to breathe

and he was trying to say, i am a family person, i don’t want any trouble, but butch kept on pushing his big sunburnt back

right on thomas and he was laughing because this was going to be thomas’s last day alive, you are one of us, butch said

to thomas, and you will never be like the jordans, because they are nice to us, and you are not, you see thomas you look like

you hate us or that we are the **** of the earth, and we will treat you like one of us forever and thomas yelled out HELP HELP KIDNAP

KIDNAP, but Butch and the heavies said SHUT UP *******, you are still one of us forever, thomas became very scared

because he wants to popular amongst the families, because he is a fun loving guy, and everyone will say he is gentle and butch said

you are about as gentle as a big crocodile who is about to snap and thomas got his key and scratched butch’s back, and this made

butch very angry and butch grabbed thomas and threw him out to the vicious sharks and thomas was killed, and butch said

he is a wild hooligan, who just killed the last remaining troublemaker, but the jordans decided to turn the crowd off them and

said, he will lock them all in his shed, you see thomas was a real fun loving family person and we will make you pay for that

thomas went to his next life as a nice quiet buddhist boy, who was struggling to get these crazy person voices out of his head

it’ll take a while i guess.

the end

party zone with johnny brown




johnny’    hi dudes and welcime to the 2nd party zone for 2016 and tonight we are going

to party real hard and our first party dude  is lorraine

lorraine’  i want  to be so happy  

i want to be so cool

i want to drink scotch on the rocks following a lovely bbq

i am very happy as happy as can be

i don’t know why i am so happy

i only know i am, party on dudes

johnny’  yeah you look like you are ready to party tonight

lorraine’  it’s the end of the working week, why not

johnny’  ok here is patric weezer

pattrick’   one sheep two fish red fish blue fish

going ba ba ba every ****** where

five sheep six  sheep silver sheep black sheep

you see it’s  hard to become the black sheep of the family

nine fish ten fish isn’t that a dainty dish

to put before prince william on the way to buckingham palace today

eleven fish twelve fish

i wonder who i will find at the party for my best mate tom

it’s fine to have fish, especially down the coast with chips

johnny’ are you creative

patrick’  yeah, i am an artist and a writer and a youtube entertainer, i am cool

johnny’  ok here is harry with a great rhyme

dave bought a honday for his best friend rhonda

to make her pretty wealthy

dave bought a honda

and he will make it a party

yeah, we will get down and boogie and say oh lay

hey little old lady

pretty pretty baby

saying

dave bought a honda for his aunty flo who went home to make pumpkin scones for joh

but joh didn’t want any cause he ws too right wing

dave bought a honda from adelaide and every night we say dave bought a honda for everyone around oh dude

johnny’  yeah what a great one, but your choice of politicians, ya know a bit old and dead

harry’ yeah, but i am 56 years old and i still want to party

johnny’   here is another party song from kenneth

kenneth’  16 pounds to buy a car with

it is a very cheap car if it costs that much

a dollar bill to buy a car mat

cause it really protects your car floor

and aussie cent ain’t around anymore, cause it can’t afford anything no fear, so chuck it away my friend

a japanese coin is a wonderful coin

i notice how there is a hole in the middle, to stick your finger in, yeah

$16 is a lot ya see

you could buy an expensive tub of honey from the bee

so if you spend all this money now

just remember the tune from hello in the ‘80s with oh yeah bow bow

johnny’  thank you kenneth

kenneth, yeah, and i am ready to pardddy, now party dudes, have the best hangover cure if you are totally wasted tomorrow

johnny’  thank you kenneth and thanks dudes for enjoying party zone

catch ya later dudes

brian allan’s big race




today at lake ginninderra there was a bike canoe and foot race from john knight park

to the steps of the belconnen mall on benjamin way and brian allan was competing along with

other people who live around belconnen, and the opening song to start the race was advance

australia fair, so as soon as the anthem was finished everyone got on their bikes and started heading to the dock where the canoes are,

brian allan got onto a fabulous start really pumping iron in his legs riding down the cycle path

listening to i want you back i gotta get b through to you, i want you back, and brian just hit the lead

about 2 km away from the canoes and bria sped right down and had an unbeatable lead

and when brian allan reached the canoes, he had a great lead, and it wouldn’t have mattered

how bad he did in his canoe, but as brian got started, he started to hear the other bike riders

coming toward him, so he started canoeing and headed right for the other side, but brian’s arms

weren’t strong enough and when brian made it to the other end, he was 4th in line and had to make some ground

but the canoe was slow and brian was worried that the next pack would catch up to him

but brian got out and started running toward the steps of the mall, and because brian likes

christmas, as he entered they played christmas where the gum trees blow, there is no frost and no snow

christmas in australia’s hot, cold and frosty is what it’s not, and brian was running past the crowd

brian, brian brian, the crowd yelled but he wasn’t going to catch the leading 3, but brian stuck at 4th place

and brian sprinted down the road for the final prize point, and when brian allan made it to the steps

yeah he won $145, which meant, even if he los to 3 races, he still won money for his race

and brian went to the water booth to hydrate and started joking around with the other prize winners

and brian sang, i am the champion, you see, you see i travelled from start to finish, oh yeseree

i am the champion, i am the champion, i only came 4th but i won $145 yeah i am the champion of the world

and then as the other racers were coming in, the caller said, we have got our top 4 money winners worked out, so we will start

the presentations and brian allan came 4th, yeah and he was ****** happy about that, like that nobody counts except for brian

and when brian was gven the $145, he cheered so loudly, yippee i ay

the poem read

brian is the best person

better than the rest of them

he is better than everyone there

i know he only came 4th, but that is pretty good don’t ya think

brian is the best person

brian allan is the best

and when the last place came running in, they started to clear up for next year

saying this was a great race

in the 80s and 90s we had a cat named snoopy, who was a very cute cat

we bought him with another cat named fluffy who ran away to die back in the 80s

and probably reincarnated into someone else, you see snoopy probably hated

my yelling at my parents, and despite me being very nice to him up close

he probably me yelling at my mum and dad, and snoopy was worried about

what could happen to him next, you see i was drinking pretty heavily and i had

multipersonality disorder and i was very wild, and despite snoopy not noticing

it in me, my mum and dad surely noticed it, you see i was missing people in my life

and snoopy found it hard to cope and eventually was struggling and died, but snoopy

didn’t stop living and he reincarnated as chazz petrel, who was a troubled kid with autism and

mental illness, and he was determined to show me one day what i looked like to his previous life

snoopy cat, you see chazz brought on violence to his family as well as bringing on problems

you see chazz was in and out of institutions and was bullied a few times and he suffered a lot

apparently his parents were dealing with a lot of trauma, like my parents were dealing with a lot from me

and chazz was determined that he won’t die straight away, he really wanted me to understand

that fighting parents is wrong, because the only problem is chazz was a kid who suffered a lot

and snoopy was releasing problems that i showed mum and dad, but sometimes snoopy realised

that he was too restless for a cat, and he had to release his negative energy he got from me

you see in the year 2014,, just after chazz’s 12th birthday, chazz took his own life on august 31

and chazz was saying, this is stupid, and now chazz has reincarnated as the youngest puppy on

the youtube family bratayley and as the puppy ran around he was running off aggression from

chazz, it is not good that chazz had died and it’s not good i put snoopy through all that pain

but i feel that soul has been calmed almost ready to prepare for nirvana, mending each blade of grass

coca cola is nice as it goes to my belly

and made my tongue feel like a bowl full of jelly

you see athena says coke is a medicine

which removes the stress out of my body

you see as i was walking down the streets

trying to do what the doctors tell me, it’s making me dwell

saying i believe coke can cure you

and i also believe it can make you happy

because in this life you will die one day

you see dying is like entering another party be happy as you drink coca cola

medicine of the gods

you see i want my stress to completely disappear

cause, dudes i  try to be a low stressed person

you see i will never get the job i want

because the employer wants me to be perfect

you see, dudes, i believe in being happy

and not feeling sad

so please leave me alone ya dead old hag

if you want a great medicine, try coca cola

for coca cola is the best medicine, dudes

i have these little movements in my hand

which i don’t know why they are there, it could be my past

catching up with mr, i wish they will go

you see as i spreat my fingers  out

seroquel shows you how my fingers move slowly and weirdly

i used o grab kids and i feel the movements were caused by that, you see it’s the guilt from doing that

i say i shouldn’t have done that,oh no

you see the movements are abnormal from a sudden moment in a dream, like you being punned down off a ladder

or being knocked off a bridge

or simply being punched by someone in a dream

like last night i dreamt i was given a bag of syringes

too dangerous to pick up

and i felt every syringe pricking into my body

yeah, it pointed into me, i wish it’ll go away

the movements could have been coming from the fact i liked feeling my body

waiting for an itch, I AM NOY GAY OR HOMOSEXUAL

you see instead of liking fighting my parents

i tried to say i hated it by feeling my body

i hated other people feeling me

i say, that if you have a *****, you a boy or man, so obvious

i don’t want to be treated like a little girlie

i think it could be my hand puppets like a bird and crocodile

and grub and possum like other young dudes use weird hand signals

the system is captured in the psych ward, and we need to get it out




ron was busy trying to understand why people fight with authority especially when

two protestors from an invasion day march, you see they got out their knives and started

to chop authority figures up and eat them for dinner, you see down on the path of the yarra river

there was the peaceful  aboriginal rights parade but mike and his wife yetta were looking trouble

and carried knives and guns to every protest, you see they hated aborigines a lot and when the police caught them

they brought them straight to ron’s psych ward, and they gave them a shot of ****** to calm themselves down

and with brian sitting in the lounge room very happily watching TV, well they didn’t want mike and yetta ruining that

and charlie chaplin said, hey dudes, i was the king of silent movies and yetta stuck her finger up right in her face

and mike said, let me go ya ****** do-gooder, the other patients aren’t safe unless they go to their rooms and lock the door

and then when the coast is clear mike and yetta will complain about this whole invasion day thing, because really

they can do anything in ron’s psych ward, and then yetta said, how about my mum, who gives $36 a week to the save the chukdren

and with me in here, i can’t give money to world vision, you see this so=called invasion day was a living in the past moment

for the aborigines, but the nurses said, this lady is a danger to herself and others because it was captain cook that got all

the credit when he invaded the aborigines land and then patty roe came out and yetta said, how about you tell us your calling in life and patty roe

said, i am george washington , the first president of the USA, and yetta said, you are a nut, you are a nut, 1 big nut, and you are tasty too

ron was in his house trying to research yetta and mikes problems, but the only thing is the A word, and that doesn’t make you mental ron thought

so he rang up the police and they said, they are both delusional, they think they are right into thinking guns are a way of expressing yourself

and ron said, yeah, all criminals are like that, then the police said they hid behind the desk saying what have we done, and before you say it

everyone does that, but mike and yetta dressed themselves in the clothes we gave them and walked outside, and when we caught them

they looked like they were delusional and we want you to give them both a mental health assessment before we pass sentence

and brian said to yetta, are you like B smith from prisoners days, and yetta said ******* ya ******* and the next day ron went to his local cafe

and after that, he went to his HDU to give out breakfasts and the morning medications and yetta was put on seroquel and mike was put on

risperidal and yetta told everyone, prison is nothing like prisoner, the screws don’t care for you as much as the show prisoner and mike said to charlie,

what the **** are ya looking at and charlie said, i am looking at a protest hating white arrogant racist **** and ron brought yetta and mike to

the hearing voices talk but that did no good and then they had lunch and according to yetta it was crap, and ron brought them along to the

afternoon art group and they enjoyed that cause they drew pictures of people they wanna **** or hurt, but the art teacher was no where near impressed

and then they had dinner and their nightie medications and ron brought out the sandwiches and ron went home and mike and yetta were doing a whiye mans war cry

while ron went home with a pizza and retired in front of the TV and after watching the news headlines, which made ron think, the system is captured in the psych ward

we must get it out

it was tragic day in glenelg adelaide when the beaumont children were killed

and i can say, when greame thorne was thrown to the sharks and killed

he was reincarnated as grant beaumont, the youngest of the beaumont children

who was a bright little kid, who loved to catch the bus with his two  eldest sisters

and glenelg was the place they went, and they loved the beach there, for it was

very nice to swim in, but on australia day 1966, they disappeared and were killed

and they were seen no more, and despite me saying, grant beaumont was reincarnated

into the body of myself, brian allan and since that day, i have thoughts of those kidnappings

from greame thorne and grant beaumont, and brian allan was locked  in a broom closet by two

stupid bullies and i hear voices of people condoning bullying and i hear voices i might kidnap

brian in a minute, why am i grant beaumont and greame thorne, because in 2004 i was psychotic

saying 60s music has satanical messages, which were these two tragic days in 1960 and 1966

i remember when we were taken, but my mind was a blur, when we were murdered, you see

i was suffering when grants feet were ******* in this man’s shed but it was hard for me to get out

you see brian allan used to tie himself up around canberra worrying people around canberra

and started to tie himself up again after going to adelaide for the second time in 2012 and

and a year after, i was sent to the psychotic episodes and i had voices of greame thorne being thrown

to the sharks and i entered glenelg beach which was the woden psych ward, and that was a vision

of grant beaumont entering the world and in 1966, he disappeared and was killed, and the soul of

cronus became scared of the world, yeah, i was scared that everyone was going to tease me and kidnap me

i know these kids are dead and yes, i want the world to remember them, but as far as the soul goes

greame thorne and grant beaumont is now brian allan and brian allan is suffering since these kidnappings

forcing the former life of albert waldron who was a famous footy star, but because the soul needed to understand

the criminal sides, but brian allan hates the idea of being a bad guy, he prefers to be a good guy

but i hear voices from australia of strange people looking tough and evil, the sixties  was a tough year for

the soul of cronus

party zone with johnny brown


johnny’  hi dudes and welcome to party zone’s very special aussie day eve edition

and we had ruth o’brien come out first, and she got the party right inro the right mood

and the families were gathering in with their picnic lunches and cyrus was next on stage

and, dudes, he was really cool, and he played some great songs to party on to, and nathaniel sang a prince song

and dude was he supplying us with the goods, here is one of the guys giving us an australia day jingle

tom

australia day is great, man

it is really great

it’s really great in fact

it finished half an hour past half past 9

i really like jimmy barnes

i would’ve danced all night

and then nirvana bought out a storm

and cancelled the barnesy night

and now here is a jingle from another person

hey now hey now baby, it’s time to party party party

with smantha jade, and i wanna party party real hard oh yeah

you see i liked her on the  xfactor and she is pretty rad

but cancelling jimmy barnes, my pal was really really bad

johnny’  hi dudes welcome back and here is jimmy barnes to jnterview, jimmy

how did you like nirvana coming up with thunder and lightning cancelling your big show

jimmy’  oh well it’s nothing we could do about it

johnny’  at least you sang flame trees for TV

jimmy/  yeah, that was a great version of a great song

jimmy/ i will sing working class man for you and your viewers now

johnny’  you go over to the AAA stage and i will introduce you

ok dudes, here is a great singer who had his concert on the lawns of parliament house cancelled

so we bought hi, in here to play a hit, ladies and gentlemen please welcome jimmy barnes

with working class man, take it away jimmy

working hard to make a living
bringing shelter from the rain
a fathers son left to carry on
blue denim in his vein
oh oh oh he's a working class man

well he's a steel town deciple
he's a legend of his kind
he's running like a cyclone
across the wild mid western sky
oh oh oh he's a working class man

he believes in god and elvis
he gets out when he can
he did his time in vietnam
still mad at uncle sam
he's a simple man
with a heart of gold
in a complicated land
oh he's a working class man

well he loves a little woman
someday he'll make his wife
saving all the overtime
for the one love of his life
he ain't worried about tomorrow
cause he just made up his mind
life's too short for burning bridges
take it one day at a time
oh oh oh he's a working class man
oh oh oh he's a working class man
oh yeah
yes he is
well he's a working class man
oh
ma ma . . . . . . . i tell you he's a working class man

(bv)
working class
working class man


johnny’  thank you jimmy and now we have a jingle from betrice

betrice, ok take me out to the mudslide at parliament house where it;s rad

buy me some water to take my pill

before i end up a right old dill

i wish barnesy did his show, but who cares cause he did it here

so mr barnes, i wonder just one thing

will there be an encore

of just one more song

johnny’ thanks for that song and jimmy had just left, family commitments

but your jingle was ace, mam

johnny’  ok that is it and we will see you next friday the 29th

for episode 1 of party zone for the year

catch ya later dudes

brian gets captured, and then cam dan into the psych ward




you see brian and dan were 2 mates who stuck by each other, not in the fighting

way, but brian would let dan into his house, because he was too scared of what is going to happen to him

if he stayed where he lives, and brian and dan used to joke around about bombing every city

in the world, brian said, no, we don’t wanr to but dan was so much feeling sick, he wanted to

bomb every city in the world and ron bought dan into his HDU, and put him on an injection of risperidal

and some ****** to calm his nerves, but it’s hard to calm his nerves when as he slept, some of the inmates

attempted to burn him in his sleep and when he told the nurses they gave him some more ****** thinking

that he was too paranoid to know the truth and ron came up to dan to make sure he was alright

abd dan said ya know people are trying to burn me in my sleep and you fucken quacks don’t believe me

and ron said, if these people are trying to burn you, there will be ashes on the sheets, and dan said

i said they tried to burn me, i got up and told them to ******* and they did, but this has been going on all night

and ron said we must keep an eye on dan at night, because his problem is, he is just suffering from paranyoa

and we should get him home because i don’t think he is a threat to himself or others, he just wants to be protected

and he won’t get it in here and dan swore saying you fucken 2 faced ***** and he went home to ring up brian to see

if he could sleep there because he was getting paranoid that his neighbours were going to punch him and

brian invited him over and they still joked around about bombing USA, even though  brian still said no you don;t really want to do that

because remember the innocent people and brian’s head was messed up with dans negative thoughts he threw all his stuff over the

his balcony and while he was doing that, he heard voices saying, there is no way that your friend will have your thoughts because

he was only a kid when you a young adult, and brian, as he threw everything, he felt he was being driven to the sky by a spaceship

and then as he got to the top, these heavies came into his house and said, buddy, settle down, and then they phoned the police to

come over and brian was driven by police to ron’s HDU, and he still heard the voice, your matte isn’t the messiah, because he was only a kid

when you were a young adult and as soon as brian entered the HDU, a teenage girl was jabbing brian with a plastic fork and there was

a bikie from the rebels saying he is being held there against his will and charlie chaplin said  i put on a show for new years, and i love being here

and patty roe, who believes he was george washington spoke tp him saying, when i was president we didn’t have right wing governments

and brian really got on with those people but brian didn’t like the pheados that were under high security and ron had a good chat with brian

but still ron wanted to keep him on seroquel and start him on eppelim and these medications were being worked together to calm the delusions

even if brian believed the delusions, which he does, they still need to be calmed because some of the patients were ****** sick of brian’s talking

and then dan wanted to talk to brian, so he rang up the HDU and pretended to be brian’s brother so he could talk to him and brian felt scared of a few

of the rougher inmates but tried keep silent so he doesn’t get bashed by them, he just spoke to charlie and patty roe because they were 2 people

who are just in there because of their delusions and ron bought out the dinners and in 1 hour he bought out the medications and after that he clocked off

and went home to watch the cricket, Australia v England, and the next day, he had his breakfast in his usual place and then he clocked on into his HDU

and had a good conversation with charlie and then spoke to brian and there was a USA flag on TV, and brian said, george washington has been reborn

and ron asked, why would this mean that, and brian said, george washington needs to get out of here so he could go to the LODGE and patty said

yeah that’s right, i need to get released, because malcolm turn bull is doing a **** job and he needs to learn the old left wing ways and ron said, sorry

brian and patty roe, george washington is dead, ok and you need to understand that we are trying protect the people outside from both of your delusions ok

because, even though i think you ain’t dangerous, your actions seem dangerous and ron bought out the breakfasts and the morning medications and had a

laugh with patty roe and then after that bought brian and patty roe to the art group and then over to the delusion group and at night ron bought out the dinners

and the evening medications and clocked off and bought a pizza and went home to watch more cricket, GO AUSTRALIA he said, eating pizza

at the start of 2016, old time rocker Bon scott decided to start u[ a rock band

and the songs he will play is the music of astrology and the members of his band is

David Bowie and Lemmy from motor head and Glenn Frey, you see Lemmy and Bowie

and Glenn frey were rehearsing with each other and the first song they did together was

jupiter arising

we were moving up and down the great walls of outer space

understanding that there was a concert playing there

the ,music that was playing was hotel California and the heat is on

and then David Bowie sang ground control to major Tom

you see the music was very loud ya see, very very loud

it was like being back on earth singing to our crowd

oh yeah it is now the hotel california to you

the party that we have, was getting drunk on bottles of scotch

you see that was what my name was mr bon scott

and then i woke up dreaming saying what the heck is happening to me

and the dreaming of a local farmer losing his stock

you see the farmers name was scott and so is my last name

maybe we need to stop terrorism

maybe we need to stop crimes in general

people are committing too many crimes we need to flee them to stop

I know one cosmic music concert isn’t going to stop it no

the man named Jesus Christ said come on Bon we need you to entertain us

my next life is a down syndrome man, living in Canberra

you see he moves his body when he is waiting for the ute doing head banging oh yeah

i really think this whole death thing is quite stupid oh ****** yeah

please send my next life to have some fun, oh yeah jupiter arising


and now here is Davie Bowie

ground control to major Jupiter ground control to major jupiter

this is major jupiter to ground control

planet earth looked doomed and there is nothing more to do

and i will leave my next life to come back and say, i wanna help

ground control to major Jupiter ground controll jupiter

i think planet earth became real bad, with terrorists and people losing lives and all their possessions

ground control to major jupiter

the party is on for young and old and we have no party if the earth doesn’t move

ground control to major jupiter

ashes to ashes fun loving monkey

we know major Tom’s a ******

stuck in heaven and then i met these singers and other singers followed me up

ground control to major jupiter

ground control to major jupiter

i know planet earth is doomed and there is nothing else to do

ground control to major jupiter

all the people in the crowd, just watch ya back because terrorists are coming on your back

ground control to major jupiter


and now here is Lemmy from motor head


i party and i love my life and i know my music was loud ya know

but loud is great and it shows me one thing that i love life

i dream of life and i dreamt of of being dead

I know a lot of us are scared of being dead

everyone lives forever anyway through reincarnation

you can come back to life as a cat or dog or bird

you can come back to life as a magpie or a man who played for the magpies

you see we get down and party party and party on

this is the time for the man to say, let’s party from Lemmy

the motrohead singer who is so cool

he is the singer who breaks no rules

we are on jupiter trying to stop terrorism in outer space and on earth

we need to get rid rid of Ronnie Biggs and Ted Bundy and many many many more

Ahhhhhhhh!   Ahhhhhhhh!, let’s party let’s [arty

as we het together and say, stop the terrorists we certainly say


and now it’s Glenn Frey’s turn

the heat is on, it’s on the street

the heat is on burning everyone we ,meet

the heat is on, we will party right

every day and every night

you see now we have the action and we will keep the flood lights on

because if the heat still is with us, we need the water from the flood to cool us down

the heat is on oh yeah

oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah

we are caught up in the action we are looking up to you

oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah

hotlel califorina is sang so great

and the heat is on every day and night

oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah

caught up in the action i am looking up ro you


you see Bon Scott wants this to be a way that music can calm the savage beast from within

and everyone says to each other howdy, and i say to my recent deceased in music glenn frey and

Daeid Bowie and Lemmy, and i want to show how cool these musical artists were when they

brought their music to help save the world and now musci can save the universe and now here

is john Lennon

i know that there is no heaven, nirvana is the key

there is no hell below us, above us is the parties we have up here

there is no god up here, i wish their were

but i am sure that there is peace up here, let’s bring this peace to earth

imagine all the people dead or alive

you see people say we are dreamers

but we are not the only one

i hope one day you will join us, and the universe will be as 1

there will be space ships taking us anywhere we like

i don’t care how long it takes my friends


and the world will be as one


and now the party is on, and we are attempting to save the universe with music

captured in the psych ward, a special case comes in to the HDU





since florence jones was put on seroquel, she had weird finger movements as

well as weird sudden movements in her sleep, like she was pushed down the stairs

and she went into the mental health building to abuse them that they take better care of her

you see every time florence watches a TV show, she would act on it and her flat mate lived in the

dark ages with her because there were certain programs that thru shouldn’t watch

but flornce just sat there looking at her hands, and she saw them having abnormal movements

and then she watched an episode of prisoner, and for about 20 days she dressed up as b smith

and then vera bennett saying to all the rich arrogant screws out there is room to reform, because if b smith

can move from inmate to prison guard and it wasn’t just in her imagination, oh no, she would bash an old

***** on the street and steal her security pass and after that she said she would never do that and

the police took her to the HDU, where ron diagnosed her with multi personality disorder and kept her on

seroquel where she will be monitored just to make sure these delusions she is getting to go away

and florence said to ron at the point when he said, do you want me to contact your parents, she jumped up

and said, no, they aren’t my real parents, i was led on their doorstep when i was 3 months and i was too

young to know what they looked like, and ron said, i know, but it would be handy and nice of you to have

the people who raised you and florence said, they did a hopeless job of raising me, i never got to do anything

i wanted to do, and then ron said why is that, and florence said it started from disney land, they promised me

i will go to disney land, but i got grounded and they cancelled the tickets, and then i wanted to go to adelaide

to watch the christmas pageant and they said yeah, but then i got grounded again and we didn’t get there

they said i needed help, but i said, i was just being a normal kid, ya know want this want that, and ron went away

to check her records and rang her parents and they said, they took her bushwalking every weekend and

they took her to the melbourne zoo as well as phillip island to see the fairy penguins, and we had  to say to a few

of her wild and wacky suggestions, simply because we had no money, but i assure you, we never led her on

and ron said goodbye and went out to the HDU, and said, are you sure your parents did this, because they

explianed that they didn’t have enough money to go everywhere and florence said what crap, they have you

twisted around your little finger because they never cared for me from day 1 and ron said i will put you on

serence, both these drugs together will push all the anger out of you, and, yes your fingers are moving, but

that will cure in time, and then florence said, ok and afterwards told the nurses to get ******, and not bother

to get dinner to het, because she hates hospital food and ron bought out the dinners as well as a counsellor for

florence, you see, florence could hurt someone, so trained counsellors are employed to stand outside her door

in shifts and then ron came back out to deliver the medications and charlie chaplin said, is my medication threre

i am tired, ron said hello tired i am dr ron and ron went home, stopping at the wood fired pizza restaurant bought a pizza

and went home to lose himself in front of the TV, trying to figure out how to cure Florence

he guitarist in the city is cool

as he entertained the canberra crowd

with his excellent styles and fabulous riffs, yeah he is pretty cool

you see i gave him $2 cause he entertained us all

and he makes us feel so very cool as we bop our heads and play air guitar loudly

and i can tell you that makes him feel very cool

some look at me as being nice some look at me as being easy

but if people play the guitar as good as him, well, they deserve a few bucks

like i said, it’s entertaining

as he shows us how to party, yeah get down and ****** party, man

yeah mate yeah he is very cool

you see i go to poetry slams to feel cool indeed

and he plays his guitar for us all to hear

get down and party dude, right now

in 2004, i was having weird delusions of me being left at the bottom of a volcano as a baby

which was a load of hogswollop,, because what really happened, in 1849, i finally entered

athena’s life as martha eleanora holiday who was born and died before the dentist doc holiday, who was athena

god of thunder, who later got a job as a dentist in st louis, but the protection of athena

over cronus, who is me 6 months after martha’s birth she died, so she can never meet athena on earth

she became a beautiful black bird from the year 1851 to 1855 and was shot by a poacher and laid to rest

and afterwards athena brought my soul away from america where doc holiday, who was athena

was battling to be a dentist and me, i was given protection from the old west, to become a aussie football star

in victoria and south australia, and i was left distraught because the holidays really loved me, and wanted

never to lose me, and the fact that athena was stopping itself from meeting cronus before blades of grass has been sewed

well, it could cause problems with the aura of the world, as i said, i need to know who athena is, because i am poor and mentally ill

and i had delusions of a young man who was doc holiday coming into my head, and yes doc was a bird lover and took my hand

when i was a blackbird and doc felt a bond between bird and man, as he held my hand, i know i was doing a play about a bird but

despite my weight problem, i did that very well, well, anyway athena got a poacher to **** me as a blackbird and force the city the holiday’s lived in

into complete chaos, what cronus was saying to athena through their earth bodies, we must save the world together and doc was really

starting to have a good school life becoming a dentist while the blackbird flew away to australia, where cronus became albert waldron

with a nick name of topsy, yopu see when doc explained this to his parents, they just said, visions of blackbirds in the air is very nice

mind you, i need to rid all of my delusions because at present the world is in the terrorist war and we are suffering from severe storms

but no matter how hard athena and cronus are working trying to save the world, it goes back to the 1850s in georgia, where doc was

a bird lover and i was a blackbird, who was looking out for her previous life’s younger brother and then athena forced a poacher to rid cronus

from the USA, in the days of the social media, you have to be careful in bringing crobus to athena, but at the end of the day, everyone dies

and caleb logan who was a star on youtube, died to get away from the world where cronus owns, you see caleb has been reborn, athena has been reborn

premature but safe, so athena and cronus can save the world by mending every blade of grass, that means peter sargent was athena,

yeah life wasn’t good back then, you see athena wants more people to protect their teeth and cronus has dentures, well, cronus is helping  the world

from the bottom, and athena is pushing herself down to help cronus

doc holiday is athena

martha holiday and the black bird and albert waldron is cronus

i am cronus, i as well as athena have been put on this earth to save the world

the storm is in sydney, where my fathers next life were in a safe place

watching the storm, what we don’t know is the storm in sydney was

caused by evil spirits from the universe asthey drop the

lightning down over sydney forcing people to be scared and everyone is sydney

are looking up with amazement saying what a big storm caused by the spirits

of buddhas enermies are causing problems with the air of sydney

ummmmmmm the thinderr is erupting in sydney

ummmmmmm  evil spirits are in the air

ummmmmmm storms in sydney and bombs in jakarta

please buddha stop these evil ghosts from destroying our mother earth

ummmmmm whoever or whatever the ghosts are called, please make them surrender

before too many people are killed

ummmmmmmm please save jakarta from these terror attacks

no matter what, keep everyone safe, please keep everyone safe

ummmmmmmm please protect the innocent children who can’t get home

ummmmmmm make everyone not stray away from families and friends

ummmmmmm please make sure the sydney storms don’t spread all over

as the damage is too severe

we need rain in sydney but not the lightning strikes that they are getting

ummmmmmm stop the jakarta terrorist attacks

ummmmmmm come on buddha free the lightning strikes in sydney

ummmmmmm it’s terrible ummmmmm to see the buildings getting blown up

ummmmmmmm if people have relatives in jakarta, i hope they are ok

we want peace bring us peace, peace is what we need

it’s too hot and sticky, dude

as when i move my body to do my tapestry

and i fee very very hot

i wish i can lose the sticky sensation

but it could be the chocolate biscuits i ate

it could be how negative i look

because it’s hard to move around when you are hot and sticky

i wish buddha can take the heat away

you see i perform music up there in nirvana

and i could feel hot and i could feel like doing so much

but why can’t i get rid of the heat in my body

my mental illness is getting the better of me

reminding me of the time i drank unlimited cups of tea

i remember when i smoked 120 cigarettes an hour

and to escape the heat i jumped in the shower

for half an hour

i do believe i can see into the future but it’s not something i should announce

like buddha through the city street flow of buses and trains and bicycles

you see it’s very very hot ya see, and the only way to end it is

put a washer over your head

it might make you look like an oldie but who cares

it takes just a few minutes to fall asleep with a cold washer over your body

i believe i can help people from up in nirvana

by sending stories to everyone via the internet

and any idea i have to help the world

i send it to people, and hopefully people can get it to work

i feel like moving my body up and down in and out

yeah, dude i am the coolest dude in the universe

why do old men marry young women, well it could be for money

i doubt it’s for love, mind you they are so rich they ain’t suffering much

ya see it’s hard to feel the heat, it’s hard to move around

i watch adds on TV, where i am sure that the nerd on the inbetweeners is doing a insurance add, cool, man

homer and bart are 2 trouble making dudes

and i am as hot as a pound of drippy bacon

water helps but then people’s discipline burns me right up

and i can’t hide away from the heat in young dude and cool heaven

you see it’s hard to understand why does summer get hot and winter is cold

it could be the food i eat, but  i think it’s the universe teasing getting us back on what people do

all i mean is, BE COOL, BUDDY

i will party all night dear, all night dear all night dear

i will party all night dear,  and there is nothing stand in my way

except for the realistic freaks realistic freaks realistic freaks

i want to party all night and not worry about bad things

i like Jimmy Barnes jimmy barnes jimmy barnes

he is a great singer, dude and he sings a great song

go the might of the sydney swans yeah they are the greatest yeah

i will party every night, to make you feel great

i will drink lots of champagne and lots of coke because i am cool

i am the coolest dude in canberra mate i have enough brains to make ya feel great

i feel like partying all night and all day long

party party party party party party al the body day long

i wanna put barnesy on for a party, and that is what i wanna do

partying is great and it doesn’t matter to me how many people are at the the event i am cool

i am cool enough for a party a party a party

i want to beat that drum and play them loud

send them off to an imaginary crowd cause my imagination is great mate

party all ****** day, and move on oh yeah

i don’t listen to adults mate saying don’t do that don’t do this

i just humour them and do what i wanna do because i am ****** cool man, eat my shorts

i wish to buddha that people would say that i am pretty cool

i wanna party party party all day long to barnesy, real loud

i don’t care if i have to stand up at concerts cause i am cool man

i am cooler than anyone i wanna really party

i don’t want to reform, i want to party to jimmy barnes on australia day

i am not there to cause trouble, i am just the coolest dude in canberra

party party party party party all ****** night long dude

partying is my middle name, my second name is control and control means

i am too cool for the yellers, cause i don’t want be yelled at, i am sooooo cooooool dude

i hate road rage in canberra because



i hate road rage in canberra because

mostly the road rager is at fault

i hate road rage in canberra because

because my mum was just turning and some dim wit sticks his finger up, how rude

i hate road rage in canberra because

it ****** me off immensely

road rage road rage i hate road rage

cause the road rage person doesn’t know what they are talking about

it’s not just road rage, ya see ya see, it’s everywhere

you say something or do something

and someone sticks their finger up at you

like a good little **** would actually do

road ragw road rage road rage sux

the only rage i like is partying late at night

you see i am a middle aged rager

i rage all day long but when it comes to road rage, na, not for me

i party better than any of these road rage people

the road ragers are just a pack of old stick in the muds

they think they are cool, sticking their fingers up

but in hindsight, they no nothing

you see i hear the loud hey, but that is from people who like road rage

which i ain’t, what is wrong with hating road rage

that is why i don’t drive, i am a kid and the road ragers are old fogie men or women

i have road rage in canberra because, nobody wins, it’s all just a waste of time

i am glad i don’t drive, i am a cool kid mate

to my good mate steve grigor

i know all i know is that he rode a big scooter and he was a writer

but he was a great writer, so much in facr he taught people how to write

you see steve wasn’t in the mood for staying in his body

he wanted to leave that body and enter in to another body

he was a nice man who enjoyed bowling and writing

and he used to drive his scooter all around the town

you see he taught me how to write and he taught me how to live life to the full

he probably enjoyed a beer or a coke

you see i liked saying hello to him when i saw him

and he said hi brian hows it going

i know steve grigor wasn’t this perfect little angel

but he was a man who taught us through his writing to have a joke about life

now i will give you a little jingle about his passing

it’s a shame it’s a shame it’s a shame

we lost a fine man in steve

it’s a shame it’s a shame it’s a shame

the man who teaches has passed away

i will miss him driving his scooter around this city

who knows he will probably go off to his next life with a lot of of creativity to give

this man was nice, you see he was very nice, but he had a load of body problems

and that is what killed him in the end, i will miss his howdy doody face

goodbye steve grigor

i would like to come back as a cat



just imagine what the world would be like

if i came back as a cat

you see i could be a lazy cat lying all over the couch and the garden

i could be a clever cat, doing things that cats aren’t meant to do

i will fall asleep in my bed and imagine doing concerts in outer space

as well as building new worlds, to make the future great

i know i only get 20 years, or maybe even less, but who cares

i could have a lot of fun in my life

if i came back as a cat

you see i could watch TV with my master and then he’ll put me to bed

i say goodnight to my master and he says goodnight to me

you see i ain’t much into the real world ya see

the life of a cat will be the life for me

i could go around catching mice ya see

making my owners very happy ya see

i might be able to have a try of my masters

freshly brewed beer, he will just give me milk or cream

who knows what my owners will be like be like ya see

the life of a cat is the life for me

captured in the psych ward, the day they got the school bully from the 1980s



you see tom kennersin was the biggest bully of the 1980s and he wanted to get away

with it, so much, he told his victims if they tell anyone, he will punch them 3 times over

and the police, on the night they caught him, thought tom was a bully and not mentally ill

but after reading about his case in the paper, ron thought, he can save tom from prison

with the right medication, and if he bullies anyone at the HDU, ron said he will give his a

big dose of ******, and besides which ron was confident that he can reformed, and ron

went to his usual cafe to buy coffee and bacon and eggs and then rang the police to find out

whether tom can be put on ant-psychotic medication and police said we will see what we can do,

and ron left the cafe to go to the hospital and the other nurses didn’t share ron’s enthusuissm

about tom coming to the HDU because he needs to be medicated because his crimes date back

to the 1980s, and as soon as he started work tom was put in the HDU, and got in a conversation

with charlie chaplin about all the silent movies he did, and ron took tom aside to talk to him about

what triggers him off, and tom said, when he was a child, he heard voices from computer geeky adults

saying kidnap the bully tommy, kidnap the bully tommy and if tom tries to bully us, we will tie his hands

and legs together, and tom said when he was a child he was bullied by a man who impersonates different

people just like him, because by impersonating the different people, he had it in his mind to one day kidnap

them and tease them good, and the man will say come pn get the geek, kidnap him punch him in the gut

and tom said since that day tom thought everyone wanted to bully as well as fight and tom would bully someone

and go heh heh heh i got ya, you don’t know where your latest meal is coming from, and the voices were driving him mad

but telling his parents wasn’t an option, so he decided to take out all his frustration on all his victims, but he wanted

everyone to do as people say, but ron said, how about now, do you want to bully now, and what brings you in here

and tom said, i bashed my woman, and i haven’t heard whether she woke up or not and ron asked, why did you bash her

and tom said she planted voices in my head saying, if we can get tom off the couch, we won’t need to be little school kids

and it will be easy for us to move on, and ron said, are you sure they are bad voices, they are telling you that they are move on

and tom said, are you calling me a liar, and ron said, no, but you must get the voices out of your head, what do you do to fill in time

at home, and tom said, i am an artist and a writer and a youtube helper which means, i read stuff on youtube and people watch and comment

and, doc, i have 20,000 views on my opinion  on juvenile crime, and i have had bad replies saying i committed a crime when i was young

so why can’t they,tom said, my parents were so strict, my only source of fun is going out with bernie my nerdy friend and my fists got me what

i want at school, and ron asked, tom, did you ever bash bernie and tom said once or twice, but they were friendly fights, and every time

tom abd bernie went out, the people were driving in their cars saying, your getting kidnapped now, kidnapped, is what will happen to you

and ron said, you are a bully and a big bloke, so why are you worried about people kidnapping you and tom said, because of all the bad stuff

that i did, people who are bigger than me, could throw a bag over me and **** me, and doc, i don’t want to die, no way no fear

and i want you to fucken get these voices out of my head because i might’ve been a bully but  in ever killed nobody, and ron said

i think you are suffering in your voices and, i will put you on a drug called seroquel to control these horrible voices out of your head

and tom stopped talking to ron and went over to patty roe who said he was george washington and tom said, shut up pipsqueak

in a real squeaky voice, at 3.30 pm tom joined a HDU hearing voices group where he learnt a lot and at 5.00pm ron bought the dinners out

and tom said, do you expect me to eat this trash and ron said, if you don’t eat this, you don’t eat, you go without and tom ate it, and like all people

hates psych ward food and then at 7.15 pm, rom bought out the medications, and then clocked off and bought pizza and lost himself in front of the box

and the next day tom was getting frustrated until ron turned up and today ron thought that tom could enjoy  the art group in the HDU art space

and befotre tom said no, ron thought, the more activities he does, the sooner he could get out and ron gave him some seroquel  and said

to ron, i was asked to take drugs once from a mate named brian, but i ******* away from there and i never took drugs again but i still bullied

anyone who got in my way, but then at the age 0f 33, tom lost both his parents in a car accident and ron bought tom into the art group which tom enjoyed

a lot, and in the afternoon tom got in a fist fight with ronald because of a difference of opinion on the news and ron gave them both some valiu,

which makes them wake up just before dinner and when ron bought the medications out,it took 34 minutes and he clocked off and retired to the couch

with microwave popcorn and microwave pizza and tom kept the HDU awake trying to bully to get what he wants.

the allan family story, HAPPY NEW YEAR



brian allan was getting bored with what his family was doing on nye

so he went to his room and played a nye show and each song was cool

the first song was poison’s nothing but a good Now Listen
Not a dime, I can't pay my rent
I can barely make it through the week
Saturday night I'd like to make my girl
But right now I can't make ends meet

I'm always workin' slavin' every day
Gotta get a break from that same old same old
I need a chance just to get away
If you could hear me think this is what I'd say

[Chorus]
Don't need nothin' but a good time
How can I resist
Ain't lookin' for nothin' but a good time
And it don't get better than this

They say I spend my money on women and wine
But I couldn't tell you where I spent last night
I'm really sorry about the shape I'm in
I just like my fun every now and then

I'm always workin' slavin' every day
Gotta get a break from that same old same old
I need a chance just to get away
If you could hear me think this is what I'd say

[Chorus]

You see I raise a toast to all of us
Who are breakin' our backs every day
If wantin' the good life is such a crime
Lord, then put me away
Here's to ya

[Chorus: x3]

and brian allan who was being told by his dad and mum to quieten down decided to play

a kylie minogue song, got to be certain
"Got To Be Certain"

[1a:]
You keep on asking me
Why can't we be together
I keep saying won't you wait a while
What's all the hurry
I thought we had forever
I just need time 'til I can make up my mind

[1b:]
I'm not asking for
A love to last forever
I don't expect to get a guarantee
It's just that I believe
Lovers should stick together
I'm only saying
Won't you wait for me

[CHORUS:]
I've got to be
Got to be certain
I've got to be so sure
I've had my share of hearts broken
And I don't wanna take that any more

[2a:]
I've got some friends who say
Boys are all the same
They're only looking out for just one thing
I'm only hoping that
You won't turn out like that
I need some time 'til I can make up my mind

[2b:]
Been hurt in love before
But I still come back for more
I was such a fool
I couldn't stop myself
If you believe in me
If you want our love to be
I know you'll wait for me, oh, oh, oh, oh

[CHORUS:]

[BRIDGE:]
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh

[1b:]

[CHORUS:]
[repeat & fade]

you see brian allan was really having a ball but still he couldn’t control his loud voice

but brian allan said, he really wants to celebrate nye this day so he went to the allan’s fridge

and got a can of coke and sang this song


Another Saturday night
By: Jimmy Buffett

Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way

I got in town a month ago
I've seen a lot of girls since then
If I could meet 'em I could get 'em
But as yet I haven't met 'em
That's why I'm in the shape I'm in

Oh, another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way

Now another fella told me
He had a sister who looked just fine
Instead of being my deliverance
She had a strange resemblance
To a cat name Frankenstein

Oh, another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had some chick to talk to
I'm in an awful way

Yeah, another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way

It's ******* a fella
When he don't know his way around
If I don't find me a honey
To help me spend this money
I'm headin' back to key west town

Oh, another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way

Just another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had some chick to talk to
I'm in an awful way

It's awful, all dressed up and no place to go, no one to help me spend
My flow, another Saturday night, get me the pizza man.
Songwriters: COOKE, SAM
Another Saturday Night lyrics © Abkco Music, Inc.




and then brian allan said, i want to be convicted of love in the first degree and i will open this can of coke and party all over his bedroom and make
mr and mrs allan say stop playing this loud music brian

"Love In The First Degree"

Last night I was dreaming
I was locked in a prison cell
When I woke up I was screaming
Calling out your name (whoa)

And the judge and the jury
They all put the blame on me (the blame on me)
They wanna tell from my story
They want to hear my plea

Only you can set me free
'Cause I'm guilty (guilty)
Guilty as a girl can be
Come on baby, can't you see
I stand accused
Of love in the first degree

(Guilty) Of love in the first degree

Someday I'm believing
You will come to my rescue
Unchain my heart, you'll keep him
Let me start a new (you)

The hours passed so slowly
Since they've thrown away the key (away the key)
Can't you see that I'm lonely
Won't you help me please

Only you can set me free
'Cause I'm guilty (guilty)
Guilty as a girl can be
Come on baby, can't you see
I stand accused
Of love in the first degree

(Guilty) Of Love in the first degree

(Guilty)
Of Love

(Guilty)
Of Love in

(Guilty) Of Love

(Guilty) Of Love in

(Guilty)
Of love in the first degree

And the judge and the jury
They all put the blame on me
They wanna tell from my story
They wanna hear my plea

Only you can set me free
'Cause I'm guilty (Guilty)
As a girl can be
Come on baby, can't you see
I stand accused
Of love in the first degree


Submit Corrections

and then brian allan looked at his clock radio and saw the time was 11:45 and brian

allan played the air guitar really loudly to run to paradise



Baby, you were always gonna be the one
You only ever did it just for fun
But you run to paradise
Jenny, I'll meet you at the grocery store
You don't need a friend when you can score
You run to paradise

Johnny, we were always best of friends
Stick together and defend
But you run to paradise
And mamma, now don't you worry 'bout me anymore
And I see you crying at the door
When I run to paradise

That's right, they had it all worked out
You were young and blonde
And you could never do wrong
That's right, they were so surprised
You opened their eyes up
(Opened their eyes up)
Opened their eyes up

[Chorus]
You don't want anyone
(You don't, you don't, open your eyes up)
You don't want anyone
(You don't, you're no fool)
Don't tell me, this is paradise
(Open your eyes up)
You don't want anyone
(You don't, open your eyes up)
You don't want anyone
(You don't, you're no fool)
Don't tell me, this is paradise

Good times, why'd I let 'em slip away
Why'd I let them slip away
'Cause I lived in paradise
Run to paradise
Run to paradise
Run to paradise

Jesus says it's gonna be alright
He's gonna pat my back
So I can walk in the light (that's right)
You don't mind if I abuse myself
So I can hold my head up
(Hold my head up)
Hold my head up

[Chorus]

You don't want anyone
(You don't, hold my head up)
You don't want anyone
(You don't, you're no fool)
Don't tell me, this is paradise
(Open your eyes up)
You don't need anyone
(Open your eyes up)
You don't need anyone
You'll tell me, this is paradise

[Chorus x2]
brian allan then was counting down to midnight and sang auld lent zine and his parents came in and opened the door and
said HAPPY NEW YEAR

captured in the psych ward, new year special




it’s new years eve and ron bought along his punch bowl and a few sushi dishes

as well as party sandwiches, to make the people in the psych ward have a good atmosphere

for the new year, and this year charlie chaplin man was going to read all of his poems as the

entertainment and the nurses did a lot of work so the patients feel calm enough to enjoy

charlie’s show, so medication time was before the show and even charlie, because he was worried

he would yell very loudly if he didn’t and then it started

ron said, ok guys we are going to have a mini new years eve concert run by this man charlie chaplin

charlie said, welcome and happy new year and my first song is   The schitzophrenic


You see I am sitting at the mall
I am having dillusions of people teasing me, and I wish this will all stop, oh please, just leave me the f..k alone
And then I hear voices that aren't really being said o hear Jon killed my best friend named Fred, the thing is I have no best friend, oh year
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
From the first diagnosis till the day you reach 45, you see if i take medication it can be controlled yeah oh yeah
I am schitzophrenic
Then I went to see my psychiatrist and he told me, to try and get a life, I told him I was blackbeard and John F Kennedy, he just threw a smart *** comment my way, I thought that comment was rude and ******, yes it is hard to be liked when you do
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
Yes it's easy to do, just let me hang out
You see with my medication it can be controlled, ooooh
I am schitzophrenic
You see I get paranoid when I see people around and right wing governments want us locked up
It mighty hard to have this illness and I cab say this
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
Do it once and you get all hooked and after that you feel like a geek, cause your a schitzophrenic, and also with medication it can be controlled
Oooooh I'm a schitzophrenic
Yes, that's true

charlie said, that was a great song and it’ll get you started ya know, the next song is maybe later


maybe later, i will get what i want

maybe later, i will rediscover the beauty

of being alive in this great world

it’s just a long-awaited journey

from beginning to end

and i will try and enjoy the moment

in the psych ward spotlight

i say, please slow down, your moving too fast

please almighty one, let me live long enough to give

a poor old soul a home

they don’t want a bench and they don’t want an old burnt out hall

it’s not fun for me

to look at these big buildings

with hot shot business types, when your not one

it’s enough to drive you mad

please make me except it could be later




the next song charlie sang was standing on the inside looking out, a song that explains what we are going through


standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

you see i was visioning i was in glenelg bay

but instead you get doctors saying how are you enjoying your day

i wished i was well and enjoying my life

instead of being in here wasting away

then i called out to almighty god

and the best i can get is a man who claims he is jesus christ

i said, no, were you nailed to the cross

and he said yeah after i rode in on my horse

and i said wasn’t it a donkey you ran in on and i was

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

i was getting bored, so i asked the nurse

to give me a pass out to the cafe

because i was starting to lose my mind

and when they said no i let out a little wine

i said please please please, mate, this place is driving me mad

the inmates here, smell really really bad

so the nurse made me a banana smoothie and i said thanks

and took it away to my bed, walking past every room before mine

i even tripped over a piece of fishing line

then i sat down in my glenelg bay apartment sipping my smoothie saying

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

dinner time came and i had fish and chips

it was ever so discusting, ya know like hospital food

i opened my orange juice and gave it one almighty sip

and i ate my chocolate mousse, yeah it is as tasty as

when dinner was over i went to the TV room

to watch the news and home and away

then some dude came into watch it with me

and he said, did you know i was GOD, i said, no

as i sat there thinking i was

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward trying to get better

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

standing on the inside looking out

in the psych ward in the psych ward

in the psych ward trying to get bet-ter


charlie chaplin after that song was over sang his small poem titled a smile has nothing on us, here goes


whether you let out a big smile or not

you could add it to your melting ***

what you need is a great big melting ***

big enough to take the world and all it’s got

every thing that you can eat

my rundown car is really neat

the coffee urn is piping hot

boiling whether you like it or not

but your smile comes through and through

like a fresh flower, blooming every day for me and you

i try to smile all the time

cause  it’s very fun to do

i like smiling, cause it’s fun



charlie then announced his next song saying spare me, because when your poor you always say spare me. here goes


spare me some money for the bus

spare me some money for the bus

spare me some money

so i don’t look like such a dummy

spare me some money for the bus

spare me some cutlets for my tea

spare me some cutlets for my tea

spare me some cutlets

and some vegetables

thank you very muchlets

spare me some cutlets for my tea

spare me some wine to go with that

spare me some wine to go with that

spare me some wine

so i can feel so divine

spare me some wine to go with that

spare me some chocolate for after that

spare me some chocolate for after that

spare me some chocolate

so i can have what you have

spare me some chocolate for after that


charlie then said, my next song is every day is a day of disappointment because being here really *****


Every day is a day of dissapountment

One day as I was walking down a busy street, saying g'day to everyone who u walk past, then I went back through the park and I saw so many walks of life, from the beggars asking for money and the rich refusing to give it to them, and it all sounds so crazy as I walk through doing nothing like that, after that I felt a bit peckish, so I went to the take-away to buy myself an hamburger with egg and bacon and there was this weird looking fella standing at the door, greeting each customer with a smile, he didn't really work there, but he will never be told to leave, cause he ain't a threat, oh no, then after that I went to the grocery store to buy enough supplies to last me for a week, or maybe more, I could hardly know, then after that, all that shopping made me a bit thirsty, so I went to the sports club and drown my day away, with a ice cold fosters lager or a ice cold can of VB, after that I will get so drunk o could hardly stand up and my friends drove me home and they also walked me inside, just to make sure, I don't collapse on the front lawn, you see, your day seems to go from good to bad, if you make the wrong choices and that makes every day, a day of dissapointment, after that horrible night on the *****, I got up and had a hangover cure, consisting of two raw eggs and worcestershire sauce, yes that sounds so very tasty, yes I love it and live by it, it really makes me feel like I can have a party in my mouth and everyone is invited to spend about a year or so, at the local sports club doing one thing every single day, and then after that you won't seem like every day is a day of disappintment for everyone on this earth



charlie then decided to pretend he had a best mate named albert waldron and back then albert gave him lyrics to a song, here it goes



Alfred Waldron looking back, oh yeah



You see I was a great footballer, man
Yes, I was so ace, but it was a long long time ago
About close to 1 hundred years
You see I payed in South Australa
And I played footy very well, and after the match
I would go to my car, and get my BBQ an start cooking the snags
Yes, I loved that, it was really really cool
Everyone thought I was an average cook
And they all came over for some meat
Yes, I even had some nice cold beers
Yes, I think thats so very cool
As I cooked the meat, the other players were saying
Come on mate, cook us some nice beautiful Aussie snags
I also played cricket, for South Australia as well
And I even took my BBQ to the cricket for after match food
The only way you can do that now, is if you just stayed local
And some days, like at the footy and the cricket
Every player got very vocal
I was a real Australian guy, who loved to play, footy or cricket
And I loved the BBQ at the end, yes it was so esquized
Yes I had the muscles, and I have lots of those
Everyone enjoy eating a snag a sausage
And then an egg and bacon roll
Since that footy life ended i felt cool


ron said to charlie just one more song because people are yelling and we can’t control them, but charlie we will have the midnights fireworks for you, ok



charlie said he has got his fresh old legs going wild here it goes


they will dance

they will run

into the midday sun

they will race

warm embrace

be a bit lazy

head to the pub

go to the shop

to buy some clothes

angels coming down

worshipping the town

playing football

driving cars

around the good old town

having drinks with the guys

fresh flowers for sale at the shop at SHOPRITE

SHOPRITE SUPERMARKET

CUTTING ALL THE FOOD BILLS YEAH

spiders coming through the window

to destroy all mankind

makin g lamb for dinner

nicest you’ve ever seen

i said i will stay home and watch my mate, mr bean

yeah, your fresh legs go wild

when they do all these things

and before the end, charlie got the entire staff and patients to sing auld lent zine at 10.00 pm

because everyone was getting tired and cranky
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o’ lang syne!

Chorus:
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne,
We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu’d the gowans fine,
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary foot
Sin’ auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl’t in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
Sin’ auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere,
And gie’s a hand o’ thine,
And we’ll tak a right guid willie-waught
For auld lang syne!

And surely ye’ll be your pint’ stoup,
And surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!




ron and charlie were helping each other clean up while the other patiens were being injected with ******

from yelling too much and after the cleanup was done, charlie went to the TV room to watch the fireworks

that were on at midnight on the TV, meanwhile, ron clocked off and went to the pizza hut and went home to

watch the fireworks on the TV thinking, today, ron made charlie a happy man, by letting him do his concert

it wasn’t till midnight but they can’t do that in the HDU.

next doors cat jade was murray flynn in her previous life


jade jade jade, there is something to come on her

you see murray flynn had cancer and died

but because he had a lot of fun with me

like mowing the lawn in the rain very heavy

and murray flynn was very impressed with me the way i did my volunteer work

and maybe murray flynn is amazed by all the stories and poems i write

and how i can commit to doing my art

you see murray flynn uses his present life jade

to come over to my balcony and say hello

i remember calling murray’s bus murrays buses

and murray flynn liked me when i went to the bowling alley

on the new years eve of 2001

you see jade enjoys catching insects on my balcony

and the owner of the house invited me in to play with the cat

and murray flynn said, you don’t know these people, well you do but you are still working hard

and when i went into hospital in 2013, murray flynn put power

into his present life’s owner to get him to help my parents clean my house

murray is jade and he loves it so sweet, he is now an adorable ***** cat

jade the cat was murray flynn, you see she doesn’t bother me because she’s murray

and murray really likes me, you see one thing i like about murray

is he had the most wonderful sense of humour

you see he drove us down the coast and i enjoyed that a lot

eating fish and chips and joking around with him

and now as murray’s present life jade the cat

continues to live next door to me, you see murray wanted to become a cat because

humans suffer more and when the cat sleeps murray flynn goes to space

and tries to beat the villains who caused havoc on this poor earth

nirvana will happen if people are understand

murray would love that line as he loved life in every thing he did

goodbye murray and hello to your next life jade the cat

living next door to me

captured in the psych ward, the man treating a cool kid like a man



you see today was a bad day, when ronald cumpton decided to rebel against his father

for hitting him and stuff when he was young, but the voices in his head made him act

like an old fogie, with the main voice saying, your brother, well he is a kid, you are a man

to a fight Ronald, and we don’t like you anymore and if anyone tried to protect Ronald, they will

tell his mates and brother to just be a kid, so we can bash up Ronald and treat him like a shy man

who can’t do anything, and one man called Ronald a great big ugly snout and another man bullied

Ronald so bad, he felt like being a kid and then the voice came back to his head, Ronald you are still

a man to a fight and your friends and brother are still kids, and we will keep you from being a kid, even if

we could do it religiously and this made Ronald very angry and his mates were saying we ain’t doing anything

and Ronald said someone is teasing me and when i find out the truth i will bash them senseless and the

voices made Ronald think he was a cool young dude sitting over the kids and Ronalds father said we need to

give this boy medication to Ronald  to calm him down but they weren’t really into giving him medication, and

ronald told his dad to ******* and when his father laughed at him like a kid, Ronald yelled at him like a robber

would if they were going to rob him and  this became to much for mr cumpton to understand and he called the police in

to calm him down and Ronald said, you are fucken causing my voices to be violent, and you are causing my voices

to make me look like a ****** and you are the man saying i ain’t a kid, i am a man to a fight, and i am getting fought

by every man in the mall, and i hate it, all i want to do is be a normal young dude, who parties and has a bi of fun and

you are taking it away from me and i need to yell at you and these pigs are not going to lock me away, ok, and then

the voices decided to stop, because the police took ronald to the HDU, where these voices went haywire saying you are

locked away with Ron Cooper because you are a bad boy, and then the men’s voices came into the doctor saying be like a man

and then told his mates to be kids because they haven’t put a foot wrong, and then the forces of evil started to push down on

Ronald’s knee, making it very itchy and Ron gave him some cream to put on it every day, but Ronald said, it’s not a disease it is

the force trying to get me, and i am Don Lane and I am Darly Somers and they are both men of the world and my brother is a wimpy kid

because he ran into his bedroom and i stayed there fighting my dad, and Ron gave Ronald some Largactil, like about 100mg and hopefully

this would calm the voices and say, your dad treated you like a kid he said and if he treated you like a man, he probably thought you were a

grown up and not as misbehaved as a normal kid, and Ronald said, i was getting bashed at the mall and they told the kids to be kids and said

to me not to be a kid because i am not a kid, and Ron said, ok, did you do anything to enforce this and Ronald said, well i did tease them but

i wasn’t in the mood to be a quiet family person, i wanted to be a rebel, i still do, and if i take this medication i will stop taking this medication when

i get free, because as i told my parents, there is nothing wrong with me, and i will put you up for discrimination if you keep me here any longer than

i need and Ron said is there anything that can make you take this medication, and he said, get inside my head and get the bad voices out of my head

because i was a cool kid when i was young and i think cool is the way to go, and I know i am an adult now, but i feel the medication takes my cool away

and i don’t want to take it and the men who teased m me knew i was suffering and sat there saying, ahhh you are still getting teased Ronald and Ron brought out the

inmates dinner and said to Ronald, we want you to stop hitting your parents, and we think we need to give you medication to explain those men who bullied and teased you

are just human beings, everybody is a human being and we have feelings and your starting to hurt your parents feelings when you yell at them when they are trying to help you

and Ronald noticed a knife on the table and said to Ron that he was going to **** him then and there and Ron  reached in and got the knife off Ronald and said eat your meal in you room and

then  in half an hour Ron brought his medication to him and stayed there till they take it and the men said, you just stay in there Ronald because your father mother and brother and your friends are

all kids and you are a man to a tease or fight unless you begin to behave yourself and Ronald told Ron and he said, well i don’t think you are ready to go out if you think those voices are real

because nobody is giving you an itchy leg and nobody makes you hit your father, nobody is m treating you like a fighting man, and while you still think these voices are real,

you need to be in here and we will look after you, if you want to be a kid, be a kid, but remember you probably prefer to be a fighting man, and the voices are doing that because

Ronald, you are just about as messed up as everyone here, and after saying that Ron left Ronald and clocked off and bought chinese food and went home to watch youtube

because he wanted to learn more about what was causing these crazy voices, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz you are still getting teased Ronald heard all night and the next morning

he told Ron all about this and Ron gave him 100mg of largactil to calm them down and then he told Ronald to calm down because the nurses said you were making noise at night

and Ronald said the reason why was because i was hearing voices saying, your family are still kids and you are still a man to a fight, and then the fighting men put an itch in Ronalds leg saying

you will never be a kid, buddy, NEVER

captured in the psych ward, throwing stuff out over the balcony





today ron had his hands full when mark kenneth was hearing crazy voices making him

throw all his stuff over his public housing balcony, mark didn’t know it *** a crime

but his voices were really driving him wild, ya know he heard voices from his family and friends

ringing around his head, you see he just started taking seroquel and it made him unable to relax properly

and he threw everything outside starting off by doing a raging artwork, which his parents hated, and ron knew

he was on seroquel, but he had no idea that he was suffering, because really it was hard, you see he was playing

the game and then some rough neighbours went into his house followed by the police and then mark was taken

off to ron’s HDU, and when he went to the waiting room he was visioning being a kid coming out of the sea after

being kidnapped, and the beach was at port lincoln and then ron went into his room and said mark what isa wrong

and mark said, i just left the sea after being thrown to the sharks and ron left him and the voice equoed all over the

HDU waiting room, driving mark completely nuts and ron yelled *******, and then ron came back to walk mark

to his room in the HDU, and then ron asked him questions saying why did you throw your stuff over the balcony and

mark said i am not sure and then ron said, we have to put you on an psychiatric order, where you must take your medication

but at present we don’t feel your safe on the outside, you could get bashed or something and mark said, can i watch TV and

ron said yes and went away to get his medication for him to take, days and days went by and this teenager was causing problems

with the cops and she was admitted to the psych ward and at dinner and lunch, in front of the staff held a plastic knife to mark’s

arm and mark said, why don’t you ******* and the doctors said, if you come in here, you must stick up for yourself and mark

who thought that this girl was a nice young girl and ron said, mark, you seem to weaken up, you really ain’t ready for this place

and mark said, send me home then, or take better care of me, so this girl can’t hurt me and ron took the girl away for the time being

and ron laughed at mark saying, he’s not like us, he thinks it’s a ****** game we’re playing, but it’s not a game, that girl was evil

but mark was so naive and very gullible that he became remotely scared of this girl and every time he spoke to ron, he asked

am i ready to get out of here and ron said, sorry mark, you ain’t well enough to get out just yet, you see mark was drawing pictures

and gave one picture to the girl saying, this is a pretty picture and i want to share it with you, you see mark hated the thought of

being like forrest jump or mr bean and in saying that, lenny was walking around expecting cuddles by the staff and he needed heaps

of medication, while mark was put on seroquel and eppelim to calm him down and draw heaps of pictures to hopefully make him

stand up for himself a bit more and ron handed out the evening meals and the evening medications and then went home and ordered

a woodfired pizza and lost himself to pay TV

you see Steven Bradley and ronnie biggs are destroying the world at the moment

through tornadoes and shark attacks and heat waves and a fire storm in victoria which the

rain couldn’t stop, despite how it stopped, and then ronnie really was having a field day

with the big heat waves attacking the homes of many innocent people, you see Greame Thornes

current life Brian Allan, went to the great ocean road in 2012 and steven bradley used his power

to make every home destroyed, fortunately none of the people died but they are homeless and

that can be worst, well they might not be homeless, but still steven and Ronnie are having a field day

killing off the entire world, and the great ocean road was only the start, you see steven bradley and

Ronnie biggs were starting to make a tornado siege in Texas and demolishing homes forcing people

to be homeless, and then Stephen Bradley said, I have you i have you i have you,if we make the USA

bad, we can make Cronus suffer, and making cronus suffer was the main answer, and then the death

of Stevie Wright, which was made so he can get his hands on ronnie biggs and Stephen Bradley and force them

down but in hindsight, they he can’t stop them alone, and that is what he killed his body, but he had a great life

singing the party anthem called Friday on my mind and Evie let your hair hands down, well he wasn’t the only singer

who died on their way to battle the deadly tornado, you see Lemmy from the band Motorhead was getting sick of the tornadoes in the world

and sang a song to rid the tornadoes away from the after life, here it is

please please please i want the tornado gone

i don’t care how long it takes, it just ain’t welcome here

you see what the world doesn’t know what i know since my death

that all the old criminals down there in christiean hell

are causing problems oh yeah, i want to bring peace

and i want the devil to be calmed

my music was heavy but i ain’t as bad as the great

roninie Biggs and Stephen Bradley, they caused a lot of problems

please people of the earth, please take procautions

if you want to save your home and not want these satan criminals to win, well fine

but the police aren’t against you, please save yourselves

and don’t put the evil ronnie ‘Biggs and Stephen Bradley into the the police mans voices

because dudes it’s hard you see

I am not at all happy oh no not me

you see these criminals were evil, and that is not like my music

we need to calm these christians who think loud music is the work of the devil

i think i see Ted Bundy, and he is still killing despite being dead

and osama is having a field day making you guys hate muslims

dudes, all this isn’t easy to beat, like my mate Stevie Wright from a a band called the easy beats

we need to get together and stop these evil criminals,

because the only way if we can find eternal happiness is if we all worked together

please please please stop all the world, like heal the world and make it a better place

for me and Stevie and the entire human race, and micheal Jackson who sang that wonderful song

make this universe stronger for you and me, and i must tell you, stop evil stop evil

stop the evil spirits from terrorising our world, you see as i played my guitar really loud to hopefully calm Ronnie and Stephen down

I know it’s the weather, and i know it ain’t believable, but believe me, i wanted to die, to save the world from evil spirits

and this is causing a lot of problems with every member of the earth, and the earth can be destroyed if we don’t stop the evil

the way you stop the evil is get yourself fixed and think about your actions and get rid of the brian Allan word protectaselfer, ya know

all they care about is protecting themselves and not give a **** about anyone else and Stevie Wright sang

we are going to have fun on new years eve la la la la la la la la la

get with the girls who are so pretty la la la la la

and don’t get too drunk man it’s not real cool, it just takes the man out of you

and as we are getting close to new years eve, we are hoping that nothing known to man takes away the problems of nye

and Lemmy and Stevie wright get together to create the peace of this entire earth, and tara is starting to cause problems

with the earth, saying our future is going to be bad, when the world is too wrong for Tara

so Lemmy from Motorhead and Stevie Wright gathered together on Jupiter where Stephen Bradley and Ronnie Biggs are

to force the tornadoes to not cause too many problems, but bad guys are powerful up here, and the best thing to do is

just be yourself and protect each other on earth and enjoy themselves and stop the reign of evil which is happening in the cosmos

christmas concert on venus by briano alliano




hi dudes and welcome to venus where we are celebrating christmas in a big way

and our first song is, santa brian is coming to town

ya better watch out ya better not cry

ya better be good cause i am telling you why

santa brian is coming to town

ya see he’s making a list and checking it twice

finding out what kids are naughty or nice

santa brian is coming to town

brian see you when he’s sleeping

he knows when your awake

gotta make everybody be bad or good

so be good for goodness sake

santa brian is coming to town

ya better party on like ya never going to stop

the beat will go bop pity bop bop bop

santa brian is coming to town

ya see my mate bing crosby, is alive in all our hearts

and then your mate brian allan does a really big ****

ya better watch out and keep the party going strong

party like the day is long

santa brian oh santa brian is coming to town boppity boo

and the next song is


         Stop dreaming of a white Christmas cause here is too **** hot


You see I believe the North Pole is
Great and has a lot of penazz oh yeah
And Robbie roe decided to host his
Own Christmas bash with a BBQ and beer oh yeah come on
And then Martin pence bought
100 cases of the most expensive
Wine money can buy
And his 12 year old son
Said what about the coke dad oh yeah
You see it"s ****** hot and you have for a drink so what about us
Kids we need coke, oh yeah
And Martin prince said to his son
That we will have enough coke
Oh yeah cute cause it's hot
And we need to cool ourselves down
So stop dreaming of a white Christmas cause it!'s too **** hot
And on the day of Christmas Eve it hit 37 degees and we didn't feel like doing much let alone the preparation of the party so what we did is have a
5 hour dip in the swimming pool oh yeah carn Christmas spirit right out of me, oh yeah come on dudes
And the kids kept on jumping on us
Leaving us sore but at least we were having a nice dip in the pool to cool ourselves down do we can get ready for the party oh yeah mate yeah
So stop dreaming of a white Christmas cause it's too **** hot you see you see with pretty great
Mountains  and candy cane fountains  so stop dreaming of a white Christmas csuse it's too **** hot for that too **** stop dreaming of a white Christmas cause it's too **** hot for that
The kids are playing backyard cricket yeah and the men came out
To have a hit and the ladies are in
There swearing as they cook the bird
But the ladies have an agreement
That the kids and men all do the cleaning up and talk about the sports whilst doing that
So stop dreaming of a white Christmas cause dudes
It's too **** hot too **** hot
Too **** hot for that
No white Christmases in Australia pal




       Summer weather

You see it's the summer weather
The barbecues are being cooked so well yeah
And the swimmers at the beach
are swimming between flags avoiding the sharks
And those crazy surfers as they surf with Santa
they drop off at the night club
to order a pina calada, yeah, that sure keeps us cool
You see it's summer weather
And you sun bake on the beach yeah
put on heaps of suncream, so cancer don’t strike, yeah yeah yeah
You see it's the summer weather
My poppy came out with a nice beer
And my two kids bobby and Toby had a coke
and they enjoyed that a lot
You see it takes away the hot, especially in ice
And it is great in the summer weather
Cause our drinks keeps us cool
You see it's the summer weather
The cricket and baseball is a playing
You see the players take about 5 hours to move oh yeah
And we see these players stand around forever
And in late of summer is the summer of tennis
watching the best players from around the world
and afterwards they go to the pub and celebrate
we say it's the summer weather cause those drinks keeps us cool
it’s the summer weather, the end of another year yeah
we lay the fireworks on the beach
so the lightshow, will be great
as midnight approaches we yell HAPPY NEW YEAR and then we say
what great summer weather, out champagne sure, keeps us cool


and now dudes we are going to sing away in a manger


away in a manger

no crib for a bed

the little lord buddha

l;ays down his sweet head

the stars in the bright sky

look down where he lays

the little lord buddha asleep on the hay

the cattle are lowing

buddha awakes

but the little lord buddha

no crying he makes

i love the lord buddha

as i look down from the sky

and stay by his bedside

till morning is nigh

be near me lord buddha

i ask thee to stay

close by me forever

i love thee to stay

bless all the dear children

under thy tender care

and fit us for nirvana

to live with thee there


    Summer wonderland



The beer is chilling in the esky
Abc the BBQ is nice and hot yeah
And the kids are playing with their presents oh yeah that sounds real rad
And the swimming pool is being cleaned by your father and you can't swim in it cause the pool claurine
Can **** you well
You see we are running around
Up up and down
In a summer wonderland
You see Johnny Butthead and
Micheal Kenny and Robbie roe
And Kenny gee gee
And the superman of the heavens
Brings us nice weather and that makes us feel great yeah
Walking around singing a song
Walking in a summer wonderlsnd
On the beach we all made a sand castle and buried uncle Robbie
In the sand and then as he called
Out come on ya bludgers
Give us adults a ****** hand
You see when Robbie got out of that
He jumped around the beach
I was buried in sand
And yeah mate yeah I understand
Walking along singing a song
Living in a summer wonderland




my next christmas song is joy to the world, here goes


joy to the world

the lord is come

let the christmas party shine

let everyone party on

and let heaven and nirvana sing

let heaven and nirvana sing

let heaven and nirvana and nirvana sing

joy to the world

the saviour reigns

and party right till the end

let everyone prepare him room

let all buddhas creatures grow

let buddhas creatures grow

let everyone belonging to buddha

let the spirit really grow

party on every night

   A cold for Christmas means PARTY PARTY


Oh yeah on the first day of XMAS
My coke bottle said to me
Buy a coke at the supermarket oh yeah
On the second day of  XMAS my coke bottle said to me get your cousin in the USA a present and a nice card to boot
On the third day of XMAS
My coke bottle said to me
How about inviting all out friends over for a slap up XMAS party dude
On the third day of XMAS my coke bottle said to me I need to give my
Grandmother some rioses to put in a vase on your toilet
On the fourth day of XMAS my coke bottle said to me  slam me down ya
Get ready to lift ya party spirits right till the day is long
On the fifth day of Christmas
My coke bottle said to me
How about we see the arrival of
Santa in the big Christmas parade in
Out gracious city
On the sixth day of Christmas
My coke bottle said to me
Yeah we need to give Tom and Benny a hand with the annual Christmas lights ok outside his house how delightful dude
On the seventh day of Christmas
My coke bottle said to me
Give Australia a present by booting
Abbott out oh yeseree
On the eighth day of XMAS my coke
Bottle said to me
How about you see the kids play in their Christmas play
On the ninth day of XMAS my coke bottle said to me how about a nice bit of bourbon in me to lift the family's spirit oh yeseree
On the tenth day of XMAS
My coke bottle said to me
How about we go to the nightclub
And party all night my dear old friend old pal
On the eleventh day my coke bottle gave to me a new clear head to get normal visions rather than stupid
Allan family delusions I know they help but ha ha ha
On the twelfth day of Christmas
My coke bottle gave to me
A lot of information saying coke is still a medicine don't listen to skeptics they are too much into the real world yeah on every day of Christmas my coke bottle said
No matter what ya do drink plenty of me I will make you XMAS sweet


ok dudes briano alliano says merry christmas

it’s christmas time and we’re ready to PARTY

ready to party ready to party

it’s christmas time

and we’re ready to party every day and night

we celebrate by in inviting by inviting  by inviting

we celebrate by inviting the whole family round for lunch

for our meal we have roast pork and crackling pork and crackling

pork and crackling

for our meal we have roast pork and crackling all with apple sauce

beer beer beer beer beer beer

wine beer wine beer and wine beer

beer beer beer beer beer beer

beer and wine to get smashed

the secret of this day is love one another love one another

love one another

the secret of this day is to love one another

and stick by your family

and all this makes christmas great christmas great christmas great

all this makes christmas great yeah

have a merry christmas and a happy new year

santa claus is captured  in the psych ward



it is the year 2015 and ron was decorating the HDU with christmas decorations

and while he was doing that, 67 year old billy thomson got dressed up as santa and

went around giving lollies to the children of the land and one mother complained and

said, this man has no right to hand lollies to the children without a permit and billy said

why don’t you get ******,you see i am the feral santa and i lived on the north pole before

the blizzard that wiped out all the north pole, and there is still a north pole but it is trapped

in children’s imaginations never to be seen again, and i who put my good name on this town

decided to free the north pole and this mother left and called the police on her cellphone

and in about 50 minutes the police arrested billy and took him to ron’s HDU, and billy said

i am santa claus and if i stay here i can’t free the north pole, i am a nice person, and i don’t deserve

to be in a place like this, and jesus claus went up to billy and said, your not the real santa, and billy

swore at jesus and said, your mother is the only one who thinks you are special, your about as special

as a hole in your heart and jesus swore at billy and suddenly a fist fight broke out and billy said, mate

i am the real santa and you are my son, but the blizzard stopped you from being the real santa

so, i made you stuck in people’s imagination and ron took billy aside and said what is on your mind, and billy said

i lost my job at the factory and then i got a calling from the almighty one to spread christmas cheer all over the land

and i did that by giving lollies to children yelling ** ** ** MERRY CHRISTMAS, and ron said, ok, you do know it’s 2015

and it’s not appropriate to do that and then billy said, you see i believe that if i can start a santa claus website, where

we can play christmas carols and kids order their presents, we can take the myth of santa out of kids imaginations and

into the real world and then ron asked, are you going to charge a fee and billy said, we don’t need a fee and jesus claus came up

to billy and said, you can’t get santa through the computers, it’s too early to do that without a fee and billy said, why don’t you

just get ****** and ron gave billy risperidal  and seroquel, to settle his delusional santa claus mind, and jesus was walking around the

psych ward i am killing off santa and billy walked around the ward saying, i am going to give jesus a lump of coal, which made the nurses

come out and try and settle them down but that was difficult so ron decorated  the psych ward and billy started yelling ATHENA BROUGHT

THE BLIZZARD THAT DESTROYED THE NORTH POLE, ATHENA BROUGHT THE BLIZZARD THAT DESTROYED THE NORTH POLE

and jesus claus yelled THERE WAS NO NORTH POLE, NO PREVIOUS EXISTENCE, WE WERE THE FIRST PEOPLE ON EARTH

then billy yelled, WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKEN WAR, OK, I WAS THE REAL SANTA, and jesus said OK, AND *******, and went back to his room

and billy went to his bedroom to have a lie down, and get the presents ready for christmas and then lunch was ready and ron woke up

billy and billy said, i am helping my elves prepare the presents for christmas and ron thinking he was loopy said, even santa needs to have lunch

and ron bought billy to the table, and the meal was lesagne and salad and chocolate mousse and then ron bought jesus his lunch as well and after lunch

there was a christmas special of yelling, billy and jesus said jingle bells jingle bells jingle and root the chick, and billy said, oh what fun it is to say

leave and never come back, and jesus sang, dashing through the psych ward yelling out our stuff,trying to point out to the staff that these side effects are

wrong, you see we need settling down, so take our drugs away, and please allow us to be the psych ward santa, that’ll be so cool and then as billy sang jingle bells

jesus said *******, I AM SO TIRED and billy watched the nurses work, discovering the naughty and nice, but to not blow his cover billy asked, can i get a pass out

so i can buy some egg nog, i will not be buying brandy and the nurses said, sorry but you are too sick for pass outs and billy through his boot at the door and shattered

the glass and the nurses gave billy some ****** to settle him down and billy went off to his bed and jesus came out and bashed his hand on billy’s door and yelled

YOU LITTLE ****, THERE WASN’T EVER A NORTH POLE and ron brought out the dinners and this time jesus and billy ate their dinners in their room and

in about 1 hour and a half, ron brought out the medications and after that the clocked off and bought wok it up and went home to lose himself in the televised

carols by candlelight from the sidney meyer music bowl hosted by david and lisa and back at the HDU, jesus was watching the carols and so was billy

and every child was happy it seemed receiving presents, but ron still had to play atheist with billy and tom, because for the simple reason, they are going about their santa

duties the wrong way.

god rest ye merry gentlemen

i got something to say

you see my name is simon parkes

and i live in port phillip bay

i save you all from satans power every sunday

i celebrate christmas right oh lay

you see every time christmas comes

i go into a panic

having party after party like it’s going out of fashion

you see i give gifts to the kids and wine for the adults yeah

the parties are good for young and old young and old

the parties are for young and old do do

you see santa comes through your computer

and he makes a splat

right on the bedroom floor, right next to the cat

it didn’t worry me because santa had what i need

thank christ for that oh yeah

he gave me a teddy that said comfort and joy for everyone hip hip hooray

the teddy said comfort and joy for everyone, oh yeah

god rest ye merry gentlemen

i got something to say

you see i am simon parks

and i live in port phillip bay

i save you all from satan’s power every sunday

merry christmas and a happy new year happy new year

merry christmas and a happy new year to you

captured in the psych ward, the delusional helper


ron cooper is having memories of his time he had his appendix at royal melbourne hospital

when this delusional marta like man is admitted to his HDU and ron had to take good care of him

by asking him, who do you want to help, the man said, i want to help feed the hungry and ron asked

how are you going to help like that, the man said, i can cook a meal a day, and if i have no helpers

i will do it myself and ron asked, yeah, do you realise you will be rushed off your feet and the man yelled

at ron, SHUT UP YA BIG WALLY and ron started having these visions of him yelling at the doctor who

wanted to take his appendix out and talked to a social worker about it and as he was doing that, the nurses

got a name out of him, but the name was jesus claus, and then the man said, my parents are heavily into christmas

and seeing their last name was claus, they called me jesus, and the nurses went away to work on what medications

jesus claus needs to be on, whilst talking to the social worker who said it might be a good idea to play with him as if he is

making a difference, whether he is or not and at lunch time, ron thought jesus was not fit for the lunch room, so ron bought it into

his room saying, here is your lunch, or helpers need lunch so they can help many people and jesus said, can you give a pass out

so i can council some of these people, involved in this school shooting and ron gave him a plastic card with nothing on it and

told jesus, that every time you want to help someone use the trillion dollars on this card, and jesus asked, how about i have a computer in here

and ron gave him a broken down eftpos machine and told jesus to swipe it in this, and then you watch the news, and they make money

it is all you, ok, jesus said, ok i will help everyone with the doctors money, but ron was risking his job, and had to keep tabs of jesus’s goings on

and another thing, ron asked jesus, we want to help you help people, so i need to know how you do it, and ron gave jesus some risperidal and largactil

to calm jesus’s delusions and in  about 1 hour, jesus was too busy helping to eat and when ron came to collect the lunch tray, jesus said

if you ant to help me, give money to the dead and alive victims of the tahiti plane crash, you see i gave them $1,000,000 and they made i and a quarter million

and ron, they need your help and ron said, ok, when i get home, i will give them some loot to save them and ron asked jesus if he wants to join this group and

jesus said, i am too busy, and ron said fine and walked away and after the group was over, ron bought jesus his lunch and said to him

jesus claus, who are you helping now and jesus said there was this kid who was kidnapped by a gangster and i have to pay the ransom out of your money

but this is fun, ron, can i have some more and ron said, ok, i will put money on the card when i get to my office,ok

jesus thanked ron, as ron went back to his office knowing that he is just feeding the dilution into him and when it became time to collect his dinner plate

ron said, my mum and dad and uncle rob told me, you can only help people if you help yourself as well, so ron said, i need to borrow your helping card and machine

and jesus said, i know why you are doing this, you are jealous of my power and my talent, i have this gift of helping people, and ron said, your not helping, you are a marter

and jesus yelled  WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME A MARTER FOR, YA **** and ron said, because you feel your helping with broken technology and this made jesus very angry

and ron had to get out of there but when he came back to jesus’s room, the TV was thrown against the wall and he started yelling at ron which made him get the needle and

inject some ******, so they can give the medication to him, and after they injected him with ******, they were forced to inject him with risperidal and largactil to help him relax and calm his delusions

and when ron left, he asked the nurses to call him, if he gets angry and at 4 in the morning ron who was burping pizza, was forced to come to his HDU because jesus was walking around with a dinner knife

yelling and threatening people and ron gave him a shot of ****** and refused to go home because he has so many drugs inside of him, ya know he could die, and as the next day passed

jesus was ok and ron gave jesus risperidal at lunch and went away and gave him more risperidal at night with largactil and then while he was feeling tired, ron bought

a hamburger and a beer and went home to lose himself in prim time TV'

robbie roe wanted to read a book

and his mates were ribbing him good

and robbie said leave me alone

his mates said neh, cause robbie you are still lile us now man

robbie roe sat down and watched the news

his mates were ribbing him good

robbie said leave me alone

i want to see the news

and his mates said, they don’t care because you are still like us

robbie wanted to look at the internet

reading the wikapedia about some girl they knew

his mates ribbed him good again

and then this went on for months and months

robbie roe was worried because every time he did something relaxing

his mates ribbed him, robbioe doesn’t want to get ribbed like thus

he wants to learn about who to avoid on the street

when there are new tablets to take for various illnesses

new cars on the market for japan and when an actress has a baby

and it tells you all about christmas being about the birth of jesus christ

how he laid in the manger on christmas day in a holiday inn

it shows through history there are so many stories which sound the same

robbie watched a hospital dramas and his mates ribbed him good

because his mates wanted the world to stay ready for them and leave stuoid robbie to squirm

like the little young dude that he is

you see robbie watched casualty and they had this woman with blood all over her

and robbie said if he was her doctor he will try and figure out why the blood was there

and then operate if needs be

robbies mates just laughed at him and said you are a woosey robbie

robbie said, every time i read a good story watch the news or read the internet

my so called mates laugh and poke fun at him

what was their problem thought robbie, jealous, i guess

i am a little cool kid looking at my little thumbs

you see i might look timid but i ain’t that dumb

you see i hate people trying to rob me, i am terrified of that

you see if someone hassled me on the street

i will be naturally scared oh yeah

i don’t like trusting people because they scrub me off

you see my little thumbs are going eeeeee like the fonz

maybe i was teasing my father thinking that is what family people do

i really like my father because he protected me oh yeah

i was scared of dogs and it drove my brother mad

how i never passed the dog, even if it can’t jump over the fence

and when i tied myself up because i was scared of being kidnapped

i know i was big but i don’t want people to want to fight me

when a kid said i was his mob and i tied myself up on family

but i ain’t into being kidnapped because it is horrible ya see

i was a little cool kid, never told a lie

that was because i wanted to hold my hand on the pie

you see i asked a man to kidnap me and i stopped cars

to get a ride, to nowhere in particular just so i can feel i have been taken

but my little thumbs and little fingers

sit around the coke oh yeah

i have always watch cool shows dudes like you can’t do that on television and the young ones

and neighbours yeah

and i watched a lot of movies and had popcorn too

i went to Jamison water slide to swim with the kids

and then i go to the belconnen mall and have a puffin donut yeah mate yeah

but if banyone who fought me i would try and say, i don’t believe in violence

cause the world ain’t ready for my eternity things

i know just one thing, fighting doesn’t solve anything

you could win one battle and they come and rob your house

and you look at the ship marks on your legs and then i will shy right up

i know i like being safe in my own little home

drinking a coke saying with my teeth clenched,i am a little cool kid

because i had lyle as a friend, i tried to be a cool kid

flashing my little thumbs up and down

that is how i was a little teenager

my dad did his best to protect me

ya see helped through my problems

he also likes the idea of keeping you safe

as well as being cool

we watched all programs together

like a country practice and mork and mindy

as well as bewitched, which was pretty cool

dad used to call if bewatched

and we used to go on a lot of camping trips

to kiama and bate mans bay

and to a few tent sites, oh yeah oh fiddly dee

i remember when we went to a new years eve party

and me and my brother were at that moment

known as the quiet kids

and i played my dice cricket game and kept my family up

dad made a comment saying how about we turn off the light

and they can appeal for the light

and me and my brother played cricket and football in the front yard

and we played sports shows as well,

i put dad in my football team CCAE

and dad when he joined in at cricket at his big long legs getting in the way

dad wasn’t a scrooge, really he was a father oh yeah mate yeah

he always spent time fixing the pool so we can have a good swim

we used to go to the show to go on the rides and get show bags

and watch the event on the track even the fireworks

dad used to put the easter eggs out at easter while we went to church

and i showed respect for him doing that, yeah that was great

you see i went to the raiders and dad always drove us home

yeah dad, you were a great mate to me

enjoy being betty

dads with barnesy now

briano alliano at venus party trap




hi dudes and welcome to the party of the universe and when i was a teenage boy i drew pen drawings on my arm

and the picture was a triangle with a line through the centre which means, i am into raging, and those drawings are

right for today up in  venus, here is a song about my pen drawings on my arm


you see i was getting teased by other young dudes oh yeah

and it was driving me nuts, i needed to do something oh yeah

my mum and dad were worried because i took my frustrations out on them

saying dad has aids and i must keep away from him, but i was messed up yeah

so i took a pen from my pencil case and drew a triangle

and stuck a line through it, dad started to get worried

i didn’t care, i needed to find a way that i am not a freak

just because i am a bit different to others, who was very weak

the triangle was a sign of partying , the line meant add some fun

you see it’s easy to just sit and watch, like i did once

but it’s better to really party, and the line meant party all night

in the nite clubs and on new years eve, yeah it was so great

dad was really worried, like all parents i guess

i sang 3 6 9 dad drank wine and i drank bourbon and coke

you see i vomited on that, but i don’t worry because i am raging in the club

you see i had these cool mates who i got drunk with yeah

you see i went out and raged with them dad said, no, go to bed

i said no to my dad, i am showing you what my drawing on arm meant

it means i want to be cool man, cooler than the rest of my family

i squeezed my way through drainpipes and i partied at the private bin

i was showing off my raging skills, saying LET’S PARTY MAN

you see i was a cool kid mate, who really loved to rage

every day i turned around there were more girls partying with me

and i was getting drunk reminding mum of her father

but i didn’t understand this, i just raged anyway

because partying is my middle name my first name is cool

my surname is raging and watching rage the next day

reminded me of my next day

i still want to show young dudes though

that partying is great and raging is fun, oh yeah

just remember to not bring it to the family oh no


thanks dudes and now here is a christmas party son called getting tipsy

you see i put the christmas tree up and drink some beer and get drunk oh yeah

and sit down and watch your family happily playing how cool’s that

you see i like christmas it is all so fun, but i have to watch that i don’t get all tipsy

getting tipsy dude getting tipsy dude, from wine and beer and bourbon and coke

and losing breath from my packet of smokes

yeah yeah yeah yeah, i was getting tipsy

while the barman watched me all night, as he sat behind the bar

the angel of the lord came down and said i have a car

how about we drive you home, you look drunk to us

i said no, i feel alright, i rather get the bus

come on barry allan drink some methane for your next life betty campbell

you have now got a red hat on oh yeah

and we can party all over the solar system, yeah that sounds so fun

and bon scott came up to me and said your on the highway to hell, ya see

i said the only highway, i am on pal is the highway to party dude heaven

or nirvana, of which buddhists call it

dad is poking me and saying, i am not ya dad anymore

i said we can still party up here, though

because you need to understand what i like about partying

all through the ****** night

i tipped methane all over my old dad and macauley culkin did as well

you see macauley culkin is clarry allan and he dropped methane all over my old dad

to make his next life cool, cause dad hated christmas carols ya see

but he said, his next life will try oh yeah

i sang to dad who had methane all over him

we wish you a merry christmas

we wish you a merry christmas

we wish you a merry christmas

let me live on earth dad

i know i teased you

i know i teased you

i know i teased you

but i deserve to be left alone to deal with my mental illness

and now here is a party anthem as i leave here, it’s called i am in party heaven

you see i only like people who party

or go out to fun events

i am not the type to be a total,and utter dense

please buddha, i know i am cronus but let me party on

let me get past this business of my drawing on my arm

dad hasn’t got aids, i was young and dumb

and i didn’t mean to provide bad memories of the father of my mum

you see i like to party dude, and party all day long

so buddha, don’t give me my old shy brian allan body

send him to space junk, because i am cool man

buddha buddha buddhs please let me do my art

i know i put my dad through hell

but i misunderstood him yeah

i thought dad was ready to give me a job on TV

but in hindsight my past might stop me from succeeding oh yeah mate yeah

you see i used to say to my dad ya say ya say ya say

dad just said, one main word, yes, your majesty

because probably i sounded like the ****** old queen

ya say ya say ya say, yes your majesty

so please buddha, let me do my art, don’t try and send me off to my next life

i am not ready to go yet, i want the world to know that brian allan ain’t evil

i want the world to know i am a party dude who has made silly mistakes

PARTY BUDDHA PARTY BUDDHA PARTY BUDDHA

THE WAY TO ****** BE, oh dude

ok everyone, i have to go, but i will hang around to throw methane over all the old hags

ya know tease the old hags dude

CATCH YA LATER PARTY HEAVEN

the day i tried to be a hooligan



you see i was being a hooligan back in the 90s oh yeah mate yeah

i was running around belconnen like a raging hooligan

you see i was hearing voices in my head

saying i am a woosey, but i know i am not, i am cool

you see dad was trying to tell me that i was with the wrong crowd

and i hear these voices from my best mate, leave brian alone mr allan

i don’t want to muck with you, i was picking on dad, but he had to call the police

and he put me on medication to ****** calm mevdown

you see i was a wild drinker and my beard was like a hobos

and dad went to his grave not knowing i was trying to be like pat

i don’t want to be like everyone else i prefer to be myself

and dad threatened to throw me out of the house but decided against it in the end

i wasn’t really that bad, i was nice to mum and dad one minute and horrible and wild the next

i ran off to an open pub in  the night to try and grab a good time

like las vegas and blind beggars as well as the hungry horse

i got totally hammered man and i bought one beer home

and sat on my bathroom floor trying to cool person

you see mum worried when she smelt beer on me

and i snapped at her without thinking

i bought 5 cases of the greatest beer and i decorated my flat into a little beer garden

where i can sit and rest

i don’t know why i get cranky oh no, maybe dad thought i was crazy

i say i was crazy, but not anymore

i did a tapestry on my thoughts as i drink to escape the voices

i told mum and dad things like do you like eric boyson and they said quieten down

i partied at the hungry horse drinking 23 beers

and getting really drunk oh yeah that was the life for me

i went to town centre tavern and page tavern and drank $50 worth of beer

i was trying to be like patrick a bit when i bought myself a packet of crisps

i heard my brother come flying out of his house saying what’s that brian

i am mucking around again, you are like mum and dad now brian

i seemed to take my dreaded voices out on poor mum and dad

i threw a rubber spider on mum, she jumped and dad laughed

i made jokes with dad about the pool is losing it’s water

dad said, he has to be on the ball with me

i jumped up and played basketball with the kids

like brendan and bo and josh

and one kid told me to kidnap him, and i said i am trying to drink beer to reform my kidnapper

i rang patrick up at the pub to see if he wants to party

he said no, mainly because he probably didn’t want to go

i was getting drunk with a mate named steve and he was a yeller a mighty yeller

a real crazy person, oh yeah, but some time he was nice, trying to talk me into going to ulladulla with him, NO THANKS

drinking with him was fun back then, but i teased him and that is why he yelled

i was trying to be like patrick when i went to the choirboys concert

and i nearly got mugged but i got away, but i lost everything that night, I WAS CRAZY

i still found it hard talking to mum and dad because i was a yeller

and every time i drank after work, mum said have you been drinking

yeah i drank with some of my mates from north south contractors

stephen and scott, oh yeah, i went back to scott’s to listen to heavy metal, man that was rad,

and the hotdog we ate was great, dude

i joined the bowling league back in 2000, and i was a real party dude oh yeah

i partied with kathryn on the dance floor despite me being tired from my medication

and i bowled in campbelltown and gosford and hornsby and illawarra and went to cheer on the swans oh yeah

you see mate, i like doing things, ya know i like being cool

and with the right medication, i stopped fighting my parents woo oh

i went to the fucken psych ward in 2004 for killing the blasted cat

and i yelled HELP HELP HELP HELP

and finally in 2007 after 38 years, i moved out into a flat on my own and i am enjoying this

and in the end of the year, i got myself a job at LEAD, but i was having mental problems

and in 2009 i was put on seroquel and i visited adelaide for the first time

and i went back to adelaide in 2012, in 2005 and 2012 the mighty swans won the cup

and i went to the carols, you see i was dumb enough to replace the pub with the carols

i got my first every day job in 2013 but it only lasted 4 months, as i chucked all my belongings over the balcony

and sent to the psych ward and placed on a medication order of good behaviour

which means i will go to the psych ward if i don’t take my medication

i am thinking this is great, all i need to take his my medication, and i stay out of the psych ward, cool

and in 2014 dad died and i started a cartooning course as well as winning a duck at my inaugural poetry slam

which is on the third wednesday of each month

i have been going there every month except december, and i read my very own poems

now, i am putting the backings on my tapestries and yeah i am cool

and tonight i can’t sleep having horrible thoughts from my 2 times in the psych ward

i look like i am jittering but really i am partying

to heavy metal and christmas all over the fucken world

i get down with my tapestry and i really let it out

i sew sew sew wherever i go, partying is definitely the way to go

you see i try and not worry what the voices

and i be positive, yippee i ay

i don’t support the raiders, they ****

i hate supporting manly despite them being a good team

u know i am mental, but i write my voices out well

you, who tries to go to *******

this weekend i am off to sydney

to look around the shops and eat heaps of grub

please buddha please, don’t make me die yet

i am too positive for this world, but don;t make me die

unless you mean death as in death metal

like WASP and iron maiden, that is so rad

and thanks to iinet for fixing my phone

i just hope it doesn’t break down

have yourself a merry little christmas

with a ***** and a beer

from now on dad is going to yell out oh my ****** dear

we wish you a merry christmas

happy to be cool, like me

i am the coolest dude in canberra

ya see i a writing so i don’t get angry dude cause i am a positive dude

jingle bells batman smells robin laid 2 eggs

for winder woman who got milk out of her ***** flying QANTAS hey

ta see hay is in the paddock where the horses are, it’s not in here

BRIAN PARTY IS COOL MAN

and in a straight way i liked patrick cause he was funny

my brother chris was cool too, so am i

party at christmas



ya know you put up the christmas tree

and add the decorations oh yeah

then you put the tree on the table and

put some presents on the table and floor

and then you get the chicken ready to be roasted

and while you are doing that you listen to pretty carols

and suddenly from right before your eyes comes lunch

and they look surprised

and dad gave them a drink to shut them up

in his worlds number 1 dads cup

and in walks our daughter in a pretty white dress

and her joy badge on the front explaining  her happiness and forgiveness

to the people around

at the end of the day, they all sit around and talk about their year

all of them drinking down a nice cold beer

merry christmas

it is a jolly old christmas for all


come on young dudes

bring on the reigns

pull the horses with mistletoe chains

put antlers on their head

and a red nose on one

and ran around town delivering presents

to all the children

a toy truck for bobby

a doll for mary jane

a train set for billy

yeah that is fine

then the choir in the streets

started singing ‘away in a manger’

as we protect the little ones from strangers

tis the season to be jolly

fa la la la la la la la la

the christmas pudding is ready to be eaten

they eat it after they go home from the baseball

after our team copped a beating

we wish you a merry christmas

we wish you a merry christmas

we wish you a merry christmas

from our dear cousin Sal

and everyone at the party

is celebrating with wine and beer

and we drink our fruit punches

and squirt them on everyone

and then i say, i am a happy dude

and i am a party dude

that parties all through the day and night

and little billy bob is a bit of a rebel

who really wants to start a fight

you see the only way you can stop him fighting’s

is say, you haven’t got the right to fight, ok, yo the party is on

and we open a great big can of coke and say

merry christmas dudes

i am a big man who deserves a break

i go to a restaurant to buy a nice well done steak

after that he goes to the nite club

to party with the young dudes, yeah that is cool

you see the queen of hearts really stole the show

and we took our blowers and we let out a very big blow

thinking about the bad stuff that is happening

simon parkes said just one thing

how about send us a new diamond ring

i want to ask a girl to marry me, said simon

yeah, let’s do it, give her a ring

with a very big diamond

hey, let’s go to the good old pub

and frown at the people who look all so smug

you see the men are here to stay, have a nice day

as we send them on their way, party on