the allan family story, ——— what is happening with brian





you see brian was looking forward to going to the carols in sydney and he decided

to sit in the VIP seats and pay the $99 and get ready to have a good night and then

brian’s mum got a email saying that brian isn’t welcome at this years carols and if he

comes he will be removed from the event, and this worried brian’s mother because

she worried that it was to do what brian was doing on the internet, brian said, i don’t think

it was that, and then the past and her beliefs really caught her eye, brian wanted to still go

and watch the carols on TV, and go on the Manly ferry and head down to bondi beach anyway

and enjoy getting room service, brian was worried about his past coming back to hurt them

but Sydney are dealing with a lot will all the terrorist attacks they have, and brian’s mum was

worried, but brian still wanted to go to sydney and not go to the carols

because he isn’t going to cause problems for sydney security guards treating him like a hooligan

and thrown out, but half in brian’s mind was his mother was teasing him by saying this to protect

brian from the problems in sydney, but brian is unaware of that, so he wanted to still go to sydney

because he loves looking around places he doesn’t get to normally, so brian is still going to go, because

if that is true, you can’t wrap him in cotton wool forever, brian told his mum, that he doesn’t cause problems for

anybody and it will be a nice weekend in sydney, and every time brian gets up, he is being pushed into being

a little yeah mate yeah kid, brian prefers to do his writing and enjoy going to the hotel is sydney and spend money

on lunch dinner and breakfast, and if brian’s mum worries about brian brian will tell her to lighten up because

the voices were the problem, and brian’s mum worried that brian will take it the wrong way, but brian remembers

that his mum said that he can’t handle Facebook or twitter, but brian told his mum that he can handle Facebook and twitter

because he doesn’t friend or defriend anyone and brian’s mum told brian that she worries that his past will catch up with you

because people hate attackers of kids and they don’t understand why you did it and brian doesn’t want his mum involved

with him on Facebook because the stories he writes could upset her, you see brian’s mum is nice to him but she gets emotional

mainly because she tries and be nice to people and brian, a son of her is being told to stay away from the families, but what brian’s mum

doesn’t understand, brian needs to do what he does online, and he has his school mates and family planted in his head saying brian needs to do this

and every time brian talks to his mum, he has a great conversation, but when something like this happens, brian feels the cotton wool treatment coming

it’s the same when brian toasts his art and activities with champagne, his mum worries like crazy, yeah, brian thought, the cotton wool treatment again

but brian loves his mum and he wants to go to the stage ’88 carols with her, so they can sing carols and have a picnic and enjoy the show

as a buddhist brian will respect her but it’s hard to do what she says, going to sydney will be fun for him and brian does find it hard to be an adult with mum

ya know the kind of adult who really loves life, sometimes it’s hard when brian really loves christmas carols and will want to see all the christmas carols

brian can get there by bus and brian does get a bit hyped up at carols, but still, that is no reason to keep brian away from the carols, now is it

sometimes brian lately has lifted up his voice like a real man as he sings his carols, you see brian’s mum tells brian he should listen or look like you listen

if you really want respect of this town, brian’s mum pays for all his dental bills because brian is a poor man and has problems trying to battle with mental health

this christmas brian is taking his mum to the carols and on christmas eve, brian and his mum will have a 2 person christmas party with lucky dips and watching

the muppet family christmas and watch the melbourne carols by candlelight, yeah brian said, christmas this year with his mum will be fun and cool, after all brian

is 46, so nightclubs are too young for him.

you see i love christmas ya see

lots of lollies and cakes oh yeah

followed by a nice cold beer

christmas in australia

we have gum trees and bottlebrush

and koala bears and emus so cool

people suffering that is horrible

how about we save our christmas shopping money dude

to givs a poor person a gift

and there is pavlova and trifle yeah

and white christmas and mushroom cakes to share

ornaments on the christmas tree and lights on outside

yeah, people looking at our lights and they love it when they shine so bright

right into this great dark night

christmas in australia

people are in hospitall, feeling very very sick

and there isn’t that much to do, as to give them gifts of joy

maybe a card decorated with coloured flowers yeah

and a pink and yellow gingerbread house

which is made out of real gingerbread

so they have other things besides hospital food to eat

people are at war today

fighting for what they believe is right

they are away from their houses every day and night

i wish they were all at home celebrating christmas in australia

jingle bells jingle bells

jingle all the way, christmas in australia on a scorching summers day

jingle bells jingle bells

christmas time is beaut

oh what fun it is to ride in a rusty holden ute

we travel up to darwin as well as cairns, broome, katherine and townsville

we see the poor people say, give us a dollar bill

you say yes, but i could regret it when they spend it up on *****

a piece of you thinks they deserve to party, oh yeah they do

being christmas and all, and then we go and sing carols, my friend

in the old church hall

ayers rock and coober pedy, are great places to see

the christmas pageant in adelaide is put on so wonderfully

melbourne and sydney light up the towns voices with carols in the domain  and music bowl

and you see all the favourite stars lift up their voices and sing

and whether your a man who enjoys a can of beer by the tele

or a devoted family man looking at carols and lights

we all have fun, ruppity *** ***

at christmas in australia

captured in the psych ward — hooligan taken away from christmas concert for being poor



today ron was awoken at 10.99 pm on the night of the sidney meyer music bowls christmas carols

by the HDU, when young harry butler was admitted for sitting writing stories and sending them via

facebook via his phone and at the 2nd carol, the security guards picked him up and threw him out and when

he fought back, the guards rang the HDU, to come and get him, and as he was being transported

all sorts of delusions were coming into his head, like he is jesus christ and he is currently suffering

for everyone’s sins, and then he said, he was eberneezer scrooge, and the guards were aware of that

and had to throw him out of the carols and then was given an order to never attend it because he is

a danger to everyone and himself, and ron asked him what happened and he said, the guards wanted

to get rid of me because i am scrooge, and when i explained that to them, the guards told me to shut up

and leave, and when i didn’t leave, they said ok, come on scrooge, it’s time you had a little journey to the

psychiatric unit, to be placed on a better medication and ron said, do you really believe you are scrooge

and harry said i must be, because all i was doing was sitting there writing stories and singing carols

but the guards just picked on me, because i have an illness and ron said, ok, but are you sure you didn’t

do anything to provoke it, and harry yelled ‘NO’, i look like a hobo so the fucken guards decide to pick on me

and then harry asked ron did you watch the carols and ron said, yeah till the phone rang about you, you

see i can’t understand why the guards pick on you, i can assure you, i look bad tonight, but are you sure

you didn’t **** out on the lawn or in a private tin, so you don’t wait in line and harry said ‘NO’ and then said

that is the most discussing thing i have ever heard of, i could actually drink that if i got really thirsty but ron

said he has to explore the options and also find out what medication is best for you and harry said, NO YA ****

I DON’T WANT YA BLASTED MEDICATION, I WANT TO GO BACK TO THE CAROLS, ron told harry that wasn’t an option

and tried to hear the rest of harry’s story because at present his story is keeping him in the HDU for a long time

because we need to make sure the families are safe though, then harry asked if he could watch the carols on TV

and ron went in there with him and then harry started talking about moses being at the carols attempt;ting to crowd surf and

harry thought that was funny and then he saw leonardo di vinci paint a picture of him being taken to the nuthouse and

now he is there, the finale came and harry was getting cranky with ron saying you don’t fucken care for the sick people

such as myself and ron told harry to settle down saying i care, i care i care, and harry said all you want top do is pump me full of drugs

and i am a poor man with his family taken away from him by those greedy **** from the mental health tribunal

and then ron, they had the hide to tell me, i must go through a lot of fucken treatment to get them back

and ron said, have you been offered medication to, (harry yells stop) ron said, let me talk to make you feel better and

harry said, *******, i have been pumped full of drugs day in and day out, and ron asked, can i ask what drugs and

harry said seroquel and chlosiphine and i get by smoking mariguana, and ron said, you do know that mariguana can cause

brain damage and harry yelled, ‘SHUT UP YA FLAMIN’ DRONGO’, mariguana was the only drug which helped me and

when i get out, i will go back to smoking it and forgetting about the fucken side effect medication, you ***** subscribe for us

and ron said, we have to give you medication while you are here, to get you better and make you a free man, and harry said

I DON’T WANT TO BE PLACED ON SOME WONDER DRUG TO GET ME OUT OF HERE, THE WORLD FUCKEN HATES ME

SO PLEASE ALLOW ME TO FUCKEN GET OUT OF HERE, and ron said, no, and gave him a shot of ****** to calm him down

and every time harry saw ron, he yelled GET ****** ****, but the ****** was slowly making his voice calmer and calmer

and he went to sleep, and ron went home to get ready for the christmas party, but he said to the nurses at the HDU if he gets up

screaming, give him more ****** and if that doesn’t calm him, call me and i will be right over, but the ****** will keep him quiet

till he agrees to take medication, he is high on dope and he thinks it’s helping him so ****** is the best option for him, it gets rid of

any signs of mariguana, and personally i think taking him away from the carols was the best thing, because just imagine if the kids

saw an angry man like him at the family event and ron left and started preparing for his christmas party and at 1.00pm on christmas

harry held a fork at the nurses throat and said LET ME FUCKEN SEE THE DOCTOR YA **** and ron came back and gave him

600 mills of seroquel and told him to relax but harry said, I WILL FUCKEN **** YOU TOO, IF YOU DON’T LET ME GO OUT, I HAVE

A CHRISTMAS PARTY WITH MY FUCKEN PARENTS and ron said, ok i will give you more ****** because we can’t let you go

because, you are danger to yourself and to other people and then ron said merry chrkistmas and went back home to clean up the

party dishes and watched the micheal buble christmas show on television, and then went to bed and woke up at 8 am for work and

went to his cafe for breakfast where he told them about harry who was brought to the HDU from the carols on christmas eve and after

finishing his coffee he went to work and harry was restrained because he became violent and harry gave him some more seroquel and

then asked him what was bothering him apart from the visible but harry yelled GET ****** and ron went back to the nurses saying keep

an eye on harry ok, we can’t have him go free because he could cause harm to the other patients and to us, and ron went home, ordered a pizza

and watched a video on how to control dope users.

i can’t help in any way being a hooligan in your eyes

you see i did something wrong back then and i am paying for it

and to you i look like a hooligan but i am not, i go to family events

for the same reason as anyone, to ENJOY MYSELF

but i can’t help, oh no silly bomb being a hooligan in your eyes

i like visiting cities and i like doing stuff, but i realise with my past

that i might be a hooligan in your eyes

i would like to attend the carols, but with my past and the fact that i am on my own

that i might be a hooligan in your eyes

i ain’t a hooligan though, i am a cool personj

and i will stay away and let the families enjoy the night

and i will enjoy my night, eating pizza and drinking coke

and having fun, yeah, and i understand with my past

i might be a hooligan in your eyes

i shouldn’t’ve don e that crime, but past is the past

and every single time i look like i am improving something bad happens

yeah, i understand to your point of view

that i might i might i mighty might might look like a hooligan just to your eyes

and i can’t change you, but i will stay away because i am a family person

who is treated like a hooligan by past livers

you see i like christmas and it’s a season of love

and if people see me as a hooligan instead of an artist and writer, that’s their tough luck

i am still watching the carols on TV

despite whether i am being treated a hooligan by past livers

i am still enjoying myself, dude

you see i try and be like mr bean but this voice says i am like him

you see i say i am a koomarri man, and this voice says, he is

i have no idea why i can’t get voices out of my head

maybe for my own protection i guess

but i don’t want to be protected, i just like the atmosphere of mr beab

i don’t wanna get teased or fought or killed or bullied, nobody does

i just want to be a scruffy man, who never wants to part with his beard

you see i know people are having fun teasing me, and as long as i do what i want like art and writing

they can tease all they want, but i like singing christmas carols and

looking jolly telling christmas jokes,

i just watched deck the halls and i tell you that i am not like matthew broderick

you see he got obsessed with being the christmas guy

i liked danny devito’s character with a lights display you can see from outer space, that is pretty cool

i also watched the christmas concert and that got me in the mood to sing christmas carols

i always start with we wish you a merry christmas

we wish you a merry christmas

we wish you a merry christmas

and a happy new year

bring us some foggy pudding

bring us some foggy pudding

bring us some foggy pudding

and enjoy it his year

you see i deserve a job on TV

but for some reason buddha wants me to suffer with mental illness

maybe next life i can be famous

maybe next life i can help people with my millions

maybe next life i will be on a sitcom on TV

maybe next life i will go to every parade in the USA, living in the new york

mate i am suffering through mental illness

i am suffering through being a family person

as i can’t get rid of that voice saying i am a hooligan

like they said i ain’t welcome at the carols in the domain

because i have a mental illness, i am suffering because i really like

i am behaving, i am suffering with school mates treating me like a hooligan

when i want to be a family person who loves doing art and writing

and i hate being smiled at like i am too stupid to be a computer **** kid

i am still going to sydney, but i ain’t really into being thrown out like a hooligan

because as a buddhist i must respect their wishes, but i have no idea what i have done

all i wanted is to be in the front row, of the concert

but i guess i have to wait till my next life, where i can sit next to new mummy and new daddy and new brother and sister

and dress up,  you see i am a poor person suffering

and i don’t want to be a family person to the worlds point of view

if they can’t except me being a family person to my point of view

i am scared of getting bullied, oh yeah, but that is natural, i live life my own way

i see people shaving all their ****** hair like the nerds that they are, i prefer to look like a scruff

i am dreaming of a white christmas, well stop, cause in oz it’s too **** hot

i am a family person and i like people partying, what is wrong with that

i love christmas music and i can’t wait till wednesday when i go to stage ’88 for their carols

i am not there to cause problems, i am a family person

hi dudes and past livers


i can’t go to the carols in the domain because of some stupid reason

because of what i did which is in the past, and i am not planning to be a terrorist

or anything, i am just going to wave my candle and enjoy it, and i have every right to do that

youtube has changed now, and it takes a long time to upload stuff on youtube, so i don’t do it

i really think that people are living in the past with me, and that drives me crazy, i don’t want to be a terrorist

and anyone who calls me a terrorist, please don’t, i haven’t been plotting to **** people, in  fact i am a nice person

i have every right to wave my candle and sing the carols, WHY CAN’T PEOPLE EXCEPT THIS

i am not a hooligan, i am a family person, i go to the carols with family and enjoy, but this country

is a pack of past livers who don’t care about family people like me

you see, what i can’t except, is why can’t you just say stop emailing rather than leading me on

i am not going to the domain concert, it’s better to watch that on TV or youtube anyway

but you have no right to kick me out of the stage “88 carols because you are reading the stories

and judging me, i am not a terrorist, i am a fun loving guy, who loves to wave the candle and sing carols

and i deserve to be treated with respect, for christs sake, it’s a free event, and i am not causing problems for anyone

i will promise not to take videos of kids, i will just listen to the carols, i really think what i write has nothing to do me being bad

i am just writing stuff out of me, i think the conservos in sydney are a bunch of idiots, who just want to judge the poor people like me

i think they are gutless too because they pick on me at my venerable stages of my life, when all i want is enjoy these events and have fun

in my defense, i never knew i was filming a girl till someone pointed it out to me, and i didn’t put that on youtube because she looked like

she was worried, see i have a heart and i have a soul, i believe in buddhism but i love to wave my candle at carol events, other people take videos

so why pick on me, especially when i know that singing carols and waving the candle is all i want to do, just tell me not to take videos or photos

rather than kick me out of an event for what is said online, i was feeling great yesterday as i sang my christmas carols into photo booth instead of

youtube, so i don’t get any copyright infringements, i am a person, and not an animal, ok, i deserve respect, dudes

i prefer to be treated like just another family person going to the carols to enjoy the music, rather than being chucked out for what i say online

yeah, i feel great singing christmas carols at the carols by candlelight, and i enjoy it, i realise my poems might not be christian enough but

that is because nobody is giving me a go to read stories, stephen king writes evil stories, should he get banned from the carols, probably not

but either should i, i am causing no problems at the carols, so give me a break ok

little robert corder was a really crazy person

he fought his father and mother and little brother

with all his might, you see he threw stumpd

and threatened yo **** his parents

and robert was suffering so ****** much

robert was really looking quite smug as he gave his family hell

like ever time he threw things at his family, his family were remotely scared of robert

and robert didn’t care, he just hung around with his mates talking about

how much he is having giving his family ****

and robert’s best mate tom said to robert

try and avoid hitting your family, you could end up in the nuthouse

and robert said, yeah, dude, but they are really driving me crazy

and when tom decided to go his separate ways and stop being robert’s friend

well he was a distant fried in yjr same city

roberts brother said, i am getting out of this stupid family problems and get married

and have kids and leave, he had two girls, which was what robert gave him as a little gift

and then robert’s mother and father tried to calm robert dow with medication, ya know enough

to make robert miss his favourite show, and force robert to sink into the chair

with a can of victoria bitter on his belly

and every time robert will try and be an adult, his rathe and mother will set the hose on him

and say good riddens to bad *******, yeah robert wasn’t really acting like an adult

saying in a little wingy voice, let me be like tom and the kids

and robert’s father said, if you want to be a kid, i will take you out of your sports team

and robert yelled at his father and mother saying I AM THE KING, I AM LIKE TOM

robert’s father said, no your not, your like me and your mother, you are not a young dude no more, robert

you gave us so much ****, and robert started to reform well with the new medication

but deep down he hated being on it, but it was making him into the man that robert’s parents wanted

and robert helped out at the homeless shelter, and he played santa claus which his parents disagreed with

because of robert’s violent temper could retaliate and hit a kid, because it was only a matter of time before

robert was going to stop taking the medication, but for a while robert became a gentle giant

yeah, he was a real pleasure to have around, yeah he drank coke, but that made him happy

but being gentle like that wasn’t really robert’s style, it made him look like a freak

and it was only a matter of time before the mental health doctors pick up on this

at first it was distant voices and then after a reduction of medication, the voices came closer to home

you see he started having weird delusions about working in outer space

and forcing his mates to work in outer space, to help rebuild lives up there

and after about 3 years, robert was as gentle as a freak, and the voice of tom was planted in his head

because robert’s sub conscious wanted him there for protection

and robert’s family wanted to forget about their little plan, because robert was very fat and gentle

and was getting teased on the street, and in clubs, so, robert wanted to change

and ge wrote so many stories, some nice and others not so nice

and one day robert bought a computer and read his stories, ALL HIS STORIES

on youtube, as well as post them on the writing web site

but after a while he was hearing tom’s voice louder and louder and

as he was on the medication, he got this awful nightmare where his family

wouldn’t leave him alone, every time he opened the door his brother was there saying

you are ****, you are a loser, and robert said don’t fight me, i am like tom now

and roberts family said, no your not, you are like us, now, man

and robert’s brother was running around robert saying, you are not like tom

robert said, tom was nicer to me that you guys were

and robert’s brother said, you are a ******* robbie

a real little *******, i wanted to have boys to tease you with them

and then robert said i hold out this sword and wave it a through times

and robert grabbed the sword off his crazy brother and his brother said you put us through hell

and now it’s time for revenge, where we stay outside your house forever, you can’t sleep you can’t eat

robert said, tom will protect me from you guys, and robert’s brother said no he can’t and your not like tom

and robert grabbed the sword off his brother and finished by throwing him out of his house

saying, i am on fucken medication, so leave me alone, his family said, wake up robert

and expect us in your next dream

hi dudes

do you want to get in the christmas spirit

do you want to hear christmas jokes and listen the christmas carols

do you want to be entertained by a pink haired cool clown

do you want to get your candles out and sing along with the clown

because if you do, watch the topsy the clown christmas corner on AAA youtube TV

It’s a time to celebrate with youtubes newest family friend

and it’s time to say merry christmas with so many carols and jokes carols and jokes

it’s 25 minutes of great christmas fun

please watch it, after 7.00pm every weeknight on aaa youtube TV

topsy the clowns christmas corner

i put it on brian allan’s Facebook page as well

after 7 est all week watch it, dudes on

AAA youtube TV

i can party all fucken day long

i never ever ever ever put a ****** foot wrong

i am listening to bon jovi cause he makes me feel ALIVE

makes me go home for thanksgiving and christmas

to eat a pumpkin pie

i don’t care how old i am, i just wanna party

and keep the big men sitting on their beds ready to go to sleep

bon jovi is so radical, and i like him cause outlook

but don’t take that the wrong way, for i am not gay

i just like his music, hey hey hey hey, it’s his music for i like to play

lay your hands on me lay your hands on me, get ya hands of me if ya wanna squeeze my dickie

i am not a man to a bully, i love to muck around

if you can’t except the tom, i will say, come on get down, now dudes

get ya hands off me get your hands off me get for i am not gay

bon jovi is singing about a woman he wants to *****

i am not pretty, for i am an ugly toad who loves life saying, PARTY ON DUDE

i don’t do being nice i don’t do being nasty, i do being cool

if you can’t except that, you are a tool

but i don’t believe in violence, but i wanna give conservos a boot up the ***

so, brian the cool person, goes about his way

to party hardy won’t sturdy mate i am cool

i am young and i am cool

i break no golden rule

i am a nice family person

who hates being judged

you see i am a very gentle person

i don’t do much fighting

and i will never swear at kiddies

because they are vulnerable

i went out to the carols last night

and one family left early, like the squareheads that they are

they probably were tired, but singing carols seems so fun

i am not a hooligan, i am a family person, baby

and i am a nice person to everyone

it’s not my fault if people are boring enough to leave a party early

you see i prefer to stay to the finish, who cares what the oldies say

they go home, and they go to bed, well, that is not for me

i hate people saying i am not a nice person

but that was online, they are just losers, ya see, i don’t ****** care

i like quietly singing carols, yeah that sounds so rad

rather than watch the other families leave before the show is over

i prefer the family life, better than the hooligan life. like mucking family for yeah mate yeah kids

and going home like the squares that they are

i am no square, i don;t believe in being square

i am the coolest dude in canberra, and a great family person, oh yeah

i know i say stuff online which only squareheads get offended

but i am still a cool young dude who loves to have a bit of fun

i am not a hooligan, i am not a square, i am not a man who loves to sticky stare

i wish people would leave me alone, and let me be the family person that i am

i hate being a hooligan, they are angry moherfuckers

loser loser, na nanni na na  loser loser na nanni na na

i am not a loser, a loser is someone who doesn’t care for other people

i care for what i say, to other people, i am a nice person

who loves to do art, and write and go to carols events and sing carols

i don’t like old mates in my head saying i want to be a hooligan

especially when i want to be a family person anyway

i want to relax with the cool crowd, cause that is what i am

you see i am not getting teased or fought, for i am a family person

that all the young dudes want to muck around with

and that’s the truth

you see i had problems with my electricity

it seemed to be pulled right out

i shouldn’t worry and i don’t worry

but it could’ve been one of the neighbours

getting sick of me yelling, i know it seemed stupid

and why would they, but i hate the fact of blaming them

it might have well as been another electricity man

but if it was someone teasing me, i say won’t you stop

PLEASE STOP PLEASE STOP PLEASE STOP TEASING LIKE THAT

it’s illegal it’s very illegal, please don’t tamper with my electricity

because if i catch them, i will call the police

i am not like lyle, i am like myself, i hate people teasing me

i made mistakes and i know i am being treated like steph from neighbours

but i just didn’t want to talk to those people who sat down on the seat near my house

i haven’t any reason to talk to them, they have problems

but if they pulled my electricity cable, it will upset me a lot, LEAVE ME ALONE

for i am a family person, who is being treated like a weird person

i have mental issues and i don’t know how to get rid of it

but the big fat rich ***** of my past, want to tease me till the day i die

i don’t really want that, i would appreciate it if the teasing would stop

i have problems but not half as bad as the problems the person who tampered with my electricity

i know i am not strong, but i don’t deserve crap teasing like this

so, you don’t have to talk to me, just stop planning to tease me

i don’t think i am a hooligan, no, i am a fun loving guy who loves life a lot

i want to do my youtube shows and not worry about being told i was too woosey to be a computer nerd

but i would like to see the people who say that and say pull their electricity cable out to see how they like it

but it won’t be me, because i am a nice person, but not cowardly nice, i want to enjoy my computer,

PLEASE STOP PLEASE STOP PLEASE STOP TEASING LIKE THAT

i feel that dad is pushing the Australian into me, by buzzing flies in my face

to protect me from those awful teasers of my past

i always was a cool dude, and i always had a lot of fun

i preferred to go to the movies or to the water park or go to the footy

rather than muck around hearing nerds say, have you been behaving

but that is a sign of not really being in trouble, i don’t believe in being a tough kid

but i hated being treated like a bad person all because i yell in the street

i yelled to stop the voices, and i told them to leave me alone

PLEASE STOP PLEASE STOP PLEASE STOP TEASING LIKE THAT

i am too nicer person to be treated like this, true or not

I AM NICE I AM NICE I AM A VERY NICE PERSON, DUDE

don’t mess with my electricity, because dudes, i deserve praise for doing writing and art and not teasing

i went to see the christmas lights yeah i did it wss fun

you see we were traveling around using our good eyes

we saw a few and i took a few photos after i had bolognaise and a beautiful cake

and i talked about the great poetry slanm a place to go to read poems

ya see, mate i thought the lights were fantastic, dude

we were sitting in the car getting photos of each’

we yelled out merry christmas to all the owners, cool man eat my shorts

it was radically awesome how each house had a lot of things in their display

i was talking about the movie deck the halls with danny devito and mathew broderick

both go for the right to be the streets christmas man

i am a bit of a christmas man, i love the idea of santa coming for the kids

dropping in through the computer, delivering presents as he he goes

i played santa at vinnies in belconnen and i enjoyed making the kids very happy

one kid said why do you want to play santa, i think playing santa gives me fulfilment

and we sing we wish you a merry christmas a full boar ripper christmas

we wish you a merry christmas

i have a big dose of schizophrenia, which makes me look tired

but, dude, it doesn’t really bother me, because i am healing, ya know getting better

and as i sit down anywhere, in cars and at hone, my mind has a tired look

sometimes it’s good to fight it, with the fact that you ain’t really tired

it’s just the high dose medication i am on

and as i travelled around the christmas lights

i was saying i wanna do more and i wanna see more, without looking at the time

because it was getting close to 10,00 and the others were tired

but me, i was happy to sit in the back looking at the lights till midnight

in the future i would love someone to take me out to civic on new years eve, that’ll be cool, man

and i think of bart simpson when i say, do the bartmab do the bartman

everyone back and forward from side to side

ya see, the medication makes me calm, making me think of how i was back in the 1970s

when i was mucking with my family in wood berry, and being told to shove my nose to the wood

but i loved stopping for an ice cream at hexham oak factory

and looking at the lights tonight, reminded me of when we walked down georgetown at their lights

ya see i was thinking, tonight, in the back seat, i am a happy dude, and the lights are making me a party dude

i wanna party all night long

it was a great christmas party, duds

briano alliano sings in party in venus



hi dudes and welcome to my section of the show the first song is

family values


you see it’s a family thing to be creative

it’s a family thing to except growing old

i know i want to live my life

and party right till we’re bold

we could say stop dreaming of a white christmas cause it’s too **** hot

we can go to community concerts with choirs because i love the sound of them

you see i have a house inspection monday and i am cleaning my house

but i am looking very tired because i didn’t get much sleep

you could say i have obsessive compulsive disorder

but i just don’t want to leave, so i will try and try to clean it, yeah keep the party rolling

you could say on the beach we can build a sandcastle

and bury uncle robbie in the sand

and then the man came out and said bludgers

give your ****** mother a ****** hand

or you can sing 3 6 9

the goose drank wine, i chewed methane on venus yeah

my dad  told me to give it up, cause it’s fucken killing me down on earth

the rich snob paul robinson has left steph alone, but he should be in jail don’t ya know

he protects himself with money cause he is a big rich snob

but steph convinced him to give him a job

3 6 9 the goose drank wine to party in venus where we are feeling fine

next song is summer weather

it;s the summer weather the barbecues are lit together

and we are having a dip at bondi beach, between the flags avoiding the sharks

then we go home and mum just made a pavlova with strawberries on top as well as kiwi fruit

then we open up a cruiser and pour it over us

the ******* thing stung us real bad, but in the summer weather

we have our drinks to keep us cool and the pool and beach yeah mate, let’s party dude

it’s the summer weather, it’s too hot to smoke a cigarette but we do it anyway cause we’re men

who live in this country yeah and then the kids come in and ask dad to play backyard cricket

the rules can be six and out and tippety run, yeah mate yeah

it’s the summer weather, time to go to the swimming pool

we’re we will keep so cool, and that’s the truth

it’s the summer weather, we get out o the pool and have an ice cream, it’s boysenberry swirl and *** and raison

yeah ice creams are the king

you see it’s the summer weather, we have ice creams to keep us cool

and now it’s we wish you a merry christmas

we wish you a merry christmas

a day we call christmas

we’re a fat man gives us presents and a man in sheet and sandlesz gets born, oh yeah

we wish you a merry christmas and a bumper new year

we wish you a merry christmas

what are we going to get for christmas,

a toy car and a mini bus and caravan, yeah isn’t santa great

we wish you a merry christmas and a bumper new year

ok dudes have a great party, see you next week

you see as i lay down to sleep

i feel the methane on my leg and arns

you seek have athena giving me methane to heal my karma

and i look like dai leu lama

you see i get this strange prickle in my leg and hands

reminding me, i need to be healed

i feel pretty crazy but i look calm and normal

back in the 90s i looked big and tough, but that ain’t for me

you see u am letting medication heal me and calm me down

so i can do what i want to do with my life

the prickle is allowing the methane  work through mu body

you see it’s because i upset athena with my crime i did

and every night athena gives me a dose of methane

so my mind and body can be normal

ya see i tried coke, but it didn’t work for me

but it is refreshing drink and in a way got athena to explain my brain and not be shy about what you say

you see the only way to completely heal, is to calm down and

not worry about people who hate me

athena is saying, calm calm calm

and i feel the methane really working, as i am sleeping on my chair

saying to athena to calm my aura

i’m not getting teased, cause i’m a hooligan



you see i remember getting teased by all the families

and it drove me pretty mad, i hated it,

and the only way to rid this evil teasing

is to be evilly myself, by saying, you are still

a family person and i am a hooligan

and if you don’t stop teasing me, i will slit your throat

you see you are a loser, a total and utter loser

i told them, i will come and grab you, and grab the other teasing young dudes

and then i say, i will say, i am a hooligan and you are a family person

my mate and i are planning to grab you

and throw you in the bin, and i will go ha ha ha ha

you have been trapped by us hooligans

you are going to suffer for teasing me, cool boy

i am going to show you, if you tease me, i will **** you

and get rid of your corpse, in the sea

make your body all itchy, and us hooligans

will tie you teasing boys up and i will say ha ha ha

you see you will never escape from me, ever

you say i am shy, but if you keep calling me shy, i will come

and tie you up and say i am a hooligan and i will **** you, right now

and then i will sit down and play cool for you, because you are a family person

and i am a hooligan and i will **** you and play cool for you and every family person on earth

and when any teaser teases me i will go ha ha ha and lay a knife right to their head

you see i will **** the guy who nicked my lunch because he treated me like a queer different person

and as soon as i met my mate, i kept myself hidden with the hooligans ready to pune on him

saying,you are going to die, you are going to die, because i am a hooligan and you are a family person

and you are getting played cool for, with your crazy trying to be a young dude

and i will sit there saying ha ha ha, you family people are going to be a part of my little gang

where i will play cool for you and terrorise you

you see you will never escape from me, you cool boy, you will n ever escape from me anymore cool boy

i will throw cricket stumps on you and you will be scared of me, you little cool boy

i will go out and have some fun, putting you cool boys into the lockup and i will feed you dead rats and spiders

and if the spider bites your inners, i will yell ha ha ha ha saying i am the hooligan, keeping the family people under wraps

and i will attempt to **** you all if you don’t fucken leave me alone, *******

you see i am getting sick of you, teasing me, and every time i touch you you go crazy

but i expect that from a family person such as yourself

i will **** you, i will **** you i will **** you, you will be dead from us, forever

and in 3 weeks all the family people are dead and us hooligans are playing cool for future family people

to make sure the cool boys who tease don’t exist anymore

i said, i am not getting teased, i am a hooligan

you see i am young and i run free

i am not an old fogie anymore

i party over those stupid adults of the past

all i was doing is partying in the backyard

and these cowards of adults say i am too loud

and they want me out of street

ya see i hate people who were a cool kid to those adults

because i am young and i run free

i wanted to drink a beer back then and go to niteclubs around belconnen

i made a little bit of noise

and those adults hated me, the old moles they are

now i like patrick, but i felt he was teasing me with those adults

and those adults treated him like a cool kid

i say i am too shy to be a big rich *****

because i am a young dude and i am fucken rad

i love life but i was really really bad

i have got hairs all over my chin don’t ya know

it suits me fine don’t ya think

i go to poetry slams and i slam very hard

every poem i ever ever wrote

and i used to go to the raiders but now they ****

and i listen to music by peking duk

out of luck out of luck peking duk are cool

yeah they are so radical dudes, they break every rule

you’ll about as stubborn as a mule

my name is harry who knew barry

in a city called canberra

if i were a robber i wouldn’t harm a baby

i was sick back then, but now i am reformed

a couple of beers for my best mate ron

and a party for ronald mcdonald

old macdonald had a farm, you are chicken ****

be a young dude be a young dude

i say i don’t want to shave because i have grown attached to ****** hair

i was a hooligan, i am a young dude, a big young dude am i

i like being loud, and those adults that say i was a nightmare

can kiss my hairy ***

i am a old timers version of a ninja

so let me be a family person, because i believe in being young and free

as we draw the final curtain

and cyrus beats louise

it was touch and go dudes

really was so cool

ya see cyrus sanh wicked game for us

yes, cyrus won xfactor

i wonder if cyrus or louise will sing carols in sydney yeah

cyrus is the cool bloke, yeah mate yeah he is cool

winning the xfactor for the year of 2015

as cyrus closes the final curtain

probably thinking of having a beer

so we will say CYRUS CYRUS CYRUS OI OI OI

AS cyrus walks around shaking hands of

everyone in the crowd

and he sings his winning song, dudes

yeah cyrus is so cool

GO THE MIGHTY CYRUS for xfactor victory

GO CYRUS

ya see dudes on factor we are in the grand final and

the first won eliminated were jess and matt leaving

the battle for the winner of xfactor going down

between louise and cyrus and here is a jingle

louise and cyrus in a battle of wits

who will take the xfactor prize

ya see cyrus really blew the crowd away

and so did louise, oh yeah hey hey

this is the last one for the year

i wonder who will actually win

goodbye jess and matt jess and matt jess and matt

goodbye jess and matt, t’s sad to see you 2 go

but it’s up to cyrus and it’s up to louise

who is the best one to take out the crown

get up get get get get up up up get down

who is the champion of xfactor tonight

and the music is hot and i think loiuse looks groovy

groovy like a fruit smoothie

party party party, right till the end

driving the bullies around the bend

WHO WILL WIN

cyrus or louise

catch ya later dudes, yo duuuude

dear sir, hi dudes

i am experiencing problems with youtube, you see every time

i put on a video, it takes a long time to load and when it does

load it keeps stop-starting, it makes me feel weird, like i think

the dead are controlling the computer world, i don;t know whether

it’s an iinet thing or a problem in the area, i know that it isn’t the

computer people teasing me, i am past that stage, you see i want

to be able to watch a parade or heavy metal concert or even a broadway musical

you see i still have enough bandwidth, to play the video

i just want to be able to watch a youtube video, without any problems

it’s probably dads spirit that is doing this, because i am a youtube junie

but there must be a way to improve the buffering

i ain’t into upgrades, because i pay enough

i watch mother and son, no problems becker no problems

christmas parade, depends on parade, but still has buffering problems

abl baseball good, but has occasional buffering problems

heavy metal concerts problems with buffering

i am even having occasionally problem with youtube shows

but not a worry at the moment

you see, i want youtube to improve it’s buffering

i don’t know how many people can help me from their houses

i know iinet can if the problem is theres, but why do we have this buffering problem

beats me

ya know what i hate, classical music, it’s so scary, it’s so cocky

when you have had problems with the police in the past

i feel that there will be people like paul robinson

treating me like steph, ya see, we all have our reasons for doing bad stuff

and if anyone got in their classical music prison cars taking me to hospital

i will be like steph and tell them to ******* because

what paul did to steph was terrible and the fact that he had classical music on

in his car, makes him like a big rich *****

ya see, heavy metal is a better way of getting stuff out

and being noisy, but people can’t except i have grown up

i went down to talk and be friendly to canberra

but they told me, you can’t expect us to like you buddy

ya see while i am watching this i am listening to slayer, a very cool band

because i hate classical music, i like christmas music, but i hate classical music

i like heavy metal music, i hate classical music

you see if i am in a car with somebody who likes classical music

i feel trapped because i am a headbanger

not a rocker, like a ******, i am a headbanger and i like how

heavy metal lovers like christmas carols

if you treat me like steph, i will find out you get what paul got

i am so devious and cunning

but i hate classical music, i like rock music i like party music

i like christmas music, please don’t get me into anymore cars

who play classical music, i can’t get into it, duuuuude

please fire the guy who plays classical music in a car with me in it

classical music is scary if you have had problems in the past

heavy metal isn’t death music, classical music is death music

i am going to get a knife and **** classical music forever

but not literally ya know

anyone that wants to bring what paul did to steph or any other violence into the world

should think about what they are doing

party beats the classics, any day

i am a slob and i live life oh yeah

being a slob of the century

you see i don’t shave because i don’t want to be a pretty boy

and i am a nice person but i can’t be clean

the more i try i have problems oh yeah

but i need to clean my house, so i will let my beard grow long

i can’t approve of little babies teasing

but i wanna be a man with hairs on my chin

come on pretty boy, tease me like a nerd teases a crazy person

cause i am a crazy person, oh yeah i am

i don’t believe in violence like you do

but i believe in being a crazy bearded ***** and hobo don’t you know

i stink i stink i stink i really really stink, people say i am smelly, but i don’t care

because dude oh dude i am a crazy person who believes in previous lives can’/t ya see

i could be like mr bean, but he is too clean

he obsesses about it, why should i

why am i treated like the worst enemy of you

i always liked patrick, but i hate him siding with lyle

cause he is a bloke with anger management issues

with me oh me, i have no problems at all

apart from the fact, that i do smell

i just had a shower but i don’t wanna shave

cause only little pretty boys shave, and i am no little pretty boy

my beard suits me to a tee, i am a cool person

and if anyone says i am not cool, they can kiss my curvy **** GOODBYE

you see i like doing art, doing art is cool, and if that makes me a loser

well to them i am a LOSER, but i am a winner who loves being artistic

pat and lyle seem shy to me, all they do is drink cups of tea

i liked patrick way back then, but i thought he didn’t like bullying, cause bullying is wrong

i don’t **** people off ya know

ooh ooh ooh it might start to snow

i smell, but i can clean up

i have a messy house, but i will clean it

i will probably see losers teasing me, i can handle it

I AM RADICALLY AWESOME DUDE

i cause happiness in canberra, i am the christmas man

the cool kids man, cause cool kids muck around mate ooh ooh ooh

i am a hobo and a *****

and my best mate is thommo

i have a  beard and i never want to cut it

cause i am a hobo and there is no doubt about  it

i have salt coming from my sweat

because i am a ***** hobo

i have a filthy mind, you see if you tease me

i will tie you up with fishing line

i am a loser, because i am a hobo

being a hobo is better than being a big rich **** anyway

i feel i don’t want to work because i am an artist

i get my mates looking worried because they really care for me

hobos are cool hobos are cool, i am a hobo and proud of it

i wish patrick would get out of my head because i was a fool to ever think i was as straight as him

i am a hobo and i’m a *****, and i never shave oh no no

cause i am a hobo, and never put foot wrong unless you understand that i have changed

you see i hear patricks voice saying that he wants to do what he used to do

i say you know what used to did, he just used to

cause i am a hobo and a *****

and i work hard at cleaning the bad stuff out of my brain, yeah

i am a ***** and a hobo and patrick is a ******

i am young and i run free, you see patrick is old and grey

cause we are getting  on in years, and patrick is living in the past,  what a LOSER

i am a hobo and ypbbo, i don’t believe in being woosey clean

i am not to blame not to blame, for the problems of the world, it puts us in shame

a terror in paris and the world trade centre, it is horrible what the terrorists are putting this world through

i am a hobo and a ***** and my best mates name is thommo

and patrick is stuck with lyle, like what should happen

ya see dude i am ‘cool man’ and he said cool you, yeah cool me

your a boy mmmmmm i am a hobo and *****, i am having fun, dudes

you see i went up to saturn on the 23rd november 2015 and i got ******

as i sang these songs


summer weather, the barbecues are lit together

and each of santas elves, man, having a party with plenty of alcohol

and it is the summer weather, the esky is the place to be yeah

and we swim in the bay, avoiding the sharks

ya see we party all night, without much of a fight

then my mate pat comes in and bes a big strong man

and i sing your big and strong and you like to carry on

ya see it’s the summer weather, and the coca cola is the best drink oh yeah’’it refreshes you up

just drinking from a cup

ya see it’s the summer weather cause we have our drinks to keep us cool

you see i am ignoring the big man, by sitting here relaxing in this house with flowered carpet

i am dreaming, and it’s almost christmas, i can almost see your christmas gifts

what the hell can it be, ya see it’s the summer weather

cause we have our beers to keep us cool

you see i am in my bed singing old cold chisel tracks as well as twisted sister

we’re not going to take it, no we ain’t going to take it

we’re not going to take it anymore

and i sang it’s a long way to the shop if ya want a sausage roll

but i still went to the shop to buy s sausage roll

and pat the big man said, come on kids let’s tease him

but as a natural fact, when i was young, i thought pat liked the idea of being a daddy figure

because he wanted to tease me with the kids

and while he did that, i was in my bed ignoring the little teaser

because i am not a shy person, i am a nice person, nicer than patrick anyway

cause he think it’s cool to make people utter and he thinks it;s cool to keep smiling at me like a daddy would do

you see before dad died and when i was still working, i visioned dad smiling at me while he was swimming and i was working

you see patrick wants to tease me with the cool kids, i don’t want him to, but he wants to

and as i am writing this, the forces of evil are making be a shy boy writing a story

but i am not a shy boy, i am a writer and artist, and i entertain some people on youtube

i hear people say, shut up up woosey, but i hate being called a woosey

because i am smarter than patrick, in every stretch of the imagination

and i can tell you another thing, i am a big rich man, and i am more powerful than poor little patrick

i am mental, and mental beats being a hooligan anyway

you see i vision people telling me that they don’t want me to express myself

i want patrick to look worried, so i can be a cool person, like mike from the young ones

brian the cool person

and all this was going on, when i was dreaming of being on a deserted island

with a beautiful woman, a mermaid so to speak, and rather than listen to patrick rivvel on like a old man

i went over to the mermaid to have *** with the mermaid

and i pumped my body on the beautiful mermaid while patrick was attempting to tease me with the cool kids

i told him, i am a family person, sure mate, i am completely ignoring you to have *** with a mermaid

patrick said, don’t ignore me, be like me, and i said, neh, i don’t care how i look to to you and lyle

if i want a beard, i will keep my beard, and if you hate it, you can kiss my behind

because i am a family person, sure mate, i am ignoring the stupid hooligan

i was pumping my ***** into her ******, and patrick was so jealous of me

and then i got up on stage in saturn and sang

silent **** holy ****

all is quiet till the old man farts

sleep very soundly before you let it out

like water coming out of a water spout

**** to bring nirvanaly peace man

peace from nirvana yeah

i woke up and patrick said, why don’t you have a shave, i said neh, i love my beard, it makes me look like a real man, dude

and i said, i am way cooler than you, dude, my beard suits me, to my point of view

flap flap flap. all day long yeah

yeah, we will flap flap flap ya see right through the nigh

ya see i feel like doing nothing but i want to do my art

ya see i feel like a little flap flap flap all day long

i saw this young disabled man who has problems with his folks

i get a bit sick of people complaining about their mums

yeah i know they can be controlling but it’s all out of love

and i say this, but i can look after myself

it doesn;t really matter if i have problems saving money

and i have problems with not using deodorant

but i do most of the time, because it gets rid of the bad smell

ya see i used to tie myself up and i looked like a hooligan or geek

i want that feeling to stop, because i look like a freak

ya see i hated being murdered by steven bradley in my last life

and i feel like s pheadaphile when i stare at my dads next life’s picture

these feelings are driving me crazy, i wish it’ll fucken stop

or i will get this fist and slam it right through your head

ya see i am crazy, and i am as crazy as hell

what i need to do, is just keep my beliefs like that under my hat

ya see i saw drawing north as they sang you’re the voice

we have the chance to turn the pages over

we write what we wanna write, gotta get much older

ya see i like doing youtube, and i know i am disabled

but i am a better artist and writer than the teasers will ever be

ya see i wish i was rich, so i can look after myself better

but i have athena helping to make sure my teeth feel better and don’t show any pain

ya see i hate people looking at me, as they are going to hit me,

like i hated being treated like a bin robber at ainslie village

just because they didn’t know i was a cleaner

and i hated being teased at work, because i was their hardest workers

but i never got really what i wanted, like i am doing right now

i hate people saying, your still a young dude, or your still like our mob
‘
i like being a young dude but i hate getting teased

i don’t like people who think i should stay with the loners

because you get more fun being in groups

i know next year i will be getting the NDIS and i am trying to think what i want out of life

because it is important to have carers and it’s important to get ya  house cleaned

ya see, i know i don’t work, but i am happy, i have done a lot this year, by doing my framing for my artworks

and art therapy would be a great choice for the NDIS as well, because that costs a lot

i am thinking about what i want from the NDIS very carefully, whatever i get i have forever

i prefer to remain positive about my life, even if i am not really getting what other artists get

but i have my art in exhibitions in a few places, and even if i have a high price, it just means i want a high price

if it doesn’t sell, i keep it for myself, if i sell it, i get the money, how cools that

ya see i want a lot out of life, and i want to help a lot of people

i will never hurt a baby, that’ll be ever so bad

and if i saw someone hurting a baby, i don’t know how to protect them

because some fathers and mothers are tough

if i touched their kid, they would yell blue ******

if they touched their kid, they feel great because they deserved it

it is enough to drive a good man like me, nuts

ya see as i said, i hate how paul robinson is treating steph

i would like to steph get her own back

she looks reformed, like me, never allowed to bury the past like me

i want the best out of life, and i want to live my life to the full

money money money is all so funny, in the rich mans world

you see i am feeling very weary, very weary

my medication is starting to kick in, and get rid of my evil thoughts

you see last night and most of today i have been feeling tired

feeling like the world is treating me like a hooligan

you see i think i am doing well, seeing i am a famous writer

and i am suffering from mental illness and obesity

you see i went to a party last night in tuggeranong

and i sat next to the speaker and they started playing games with me

making me sick of the noise, but i wash;t really i just wanted to think, i ain’t young anymore

and i said, i am a happy dude, and i am a party dude

you see i look down on my feet and there is a small rash on my feet

because when i got home last night i felt i never went out at all

one dude kept looking at me, so to avoid ******* him off i played my computer game

and relax, because he probably was having a bad day or he was off to a party or something

and i had my party at the tuggeranong community festival

i am watching neighbours and how bad paul robinson is treating steph

it’s only a show, but he is a *******, and i know when you have

a history of hurting kids you get treated like ****

i can tell you now, i am reformed, i might not look it but i am

i feel the aliens are trying to make me very tired and very weird

last night i felt me weird self in my head, giving me hallucinations

of people trying to force me to do what i used to do

my feet are being trapped on the ground, like i did when i was friends with patrick

and i don’t want to live in the past, i want these hallucinations to stop

well, i know only hooligans do what i used to do, but you know what used to did, he just used to

i can’t understand why people can’t except i am a changed man, now

i haven’t put a foot wrong since that day, i don’t want to be treated like that little young dude

like i used to, but i prefer to be treated like a real party dude

i am not crazy i am not crazy, i know i said steph should be the mentally ill persons skate goat

i personally would hate the treatment that steph is getting

driving to bendigo listening to classical music with a conservative man

you see paul robinson is a boring man who hates crime and doesn’t trust anyone despite of whether they have changed or not

you see i felt like that when i did that crime, and i get voices when i get what i want in work

and i don’t believe in not doing any harm to people, and i don’t believe in going to hospital anymore

and i felt like asteph felt when men like paul robinson tries to take me to hospital

like i felt the police were kidnapping me in 2004 so i can suffer

you see, i know i am mental, but i don’t want to have these feelings

like feeling our family cat is the dingo that killed azaria

i need to take my medication early, so i can feel coo, and yeah, it makes me feel cool

i watch TV and i see myself a lot in mentally ill people, and i feel, never to get in trouble again

i don’t believe in any morals, i don’t believe the rich know the first thing about helping the mentally ill

but i don’t believe in knocking over the rich people

because it gives them some reason to lock us up

and i find that is wrong, ok dudes

robert schlanker was an 11 year boy who was a bit different from the other kids

you see he was a nice kid and he was very clean-cut, most of the kids who wanted

to be his friend said he was shy, because they didn’t want him to meet mr long stocking

who wanted to tie robert up with his stocking and treat him like an animal in a cage, a very rusty cage

and one of long stockings mtes harry burns stole his wallet from his pocket and stole all his money

and lead him feeling like an animal, but meanwhile robert was playing with his friends and the kids

were trying to protect him from this turning kids into animals game, well they didn’t turn them into animals as such

they just were attempting to tie thm up and lock them in a cage, and the first step, was the attempt to make robert

feel that nobody wants to do him harm, until one day there will be a s showdown where they grab all his best friends

and tie them to the light pole, days and days went by when robert was mucking around with his mate pete, and

they camped out in the backyard together as well as go to football games together and even joined the local football team

where robert fit in very well and the crowd had a cheer they gave robert when he scored his many tries, it goes like this

rob rob our boy named rob

it’s great that this footy team is your job

minutes go quick between each try

you see rober you are our hero

and that’s no lie

and once or twice robert would jump over the fence and cheer with these people saying,

yeah mate yeah mate yeah mate yeah

i am in a side called the bears

i can give a piece of my luck to you, if you can spare

yeah mate yeah mate yeah mate yeah

and robert felt protected in with his mates and he and his mates were having fun, yeah fun, what you have when you are having a good time

and then noel harrison a prison escapee from the prison, locked away for luring kids into his home where he plans to treat them like animals and

noel sat in the shopping mall watching robert happily playing as well as teasing him and yelling at hi not letting slip what he is doing, you see he was

a friend of roberts family when robert was 8 and according to them noel can do no wrong and yes noel was really helping robert find his mojo

like arranging a whole lot of fun events to very slowly squeeze the fun loving sports loving family guy out of him without making him feel he was doing that

and noel visited roberts family quite a few times just to make sure robert wasn’t trying to be a family person, and robert and noel had small fights, where noel

got his beer and said funny little kid funny little kid funny little kid, you are a burning hot kid, and i want your blood, robert said what does that mean dude

and noel said how about we change the subject and robert ran to his room in a huff and noel said yeh, sweeeeet  he is a hooligan anyway and roberts parents

were unaware of what noel was doing, and each day they went about meeting noel going to work and dropping robert at his friends houses and sports events

and years and years went by, with robert and his parents socialising with roberts parents till one day at the very moment whe robert turned 18, noel knew that

robert liked the choirboys, so yeah he did get the choirboys to actually come, but what robert does;t know, noel will be there to lure robert away from his friends but

noel has to work quick, first he has to actually meet robert and his mates and offer to drive robert, just robert home and then the torture will begin, but robert’s dad

said, i will give you a lift there and home, so you will be safe, and robert said fine, unaware of noel’s plan, and on the night of the choir boys robert’s dad brought

robert there and said, text me, when it’s over and when robert went into the bar he saw his mates and headed over to them and they danced to run to paradse

and boys will be boys and struggle town and robert was having so much fun getting really drunk on beer and then robert felt like another beer and that’s where

he bumped into noel, who said, i will buy you a drink and without robert knowing about it, noel dissolved 3 tablets of ice into robert’s drink, so noel can get what

he wants tonight, and robert took his drink back to his mates and partied like ****** crazy and while noel was watching the band he text roberts father saying

he is at the concert and will take robert home but at the end of the concert, robert said goodbye to his mates and went over to the cab area to ring hid dad but

the ICE made robert walked right into noel, noel bashed robert over the head when robert awoke he was chained up in a rabbit’s cage, with a very strong padlock

and the first few days was humanly but after 6 weeks, robert was starting to act like an animal, because of the ICE, jumping up one side of the cage and then

the other side and he was fed chicken bones and dog food, and robert had to eat or he will be whipped by the black hooded noel, robert was unaware that he was noel

and weeks and weeks and years and years went by where robert was jumping up in his cage and robert’s parents called the police and even did mercy dashes to

try and catch robert’s abductor and in about 3 weeks, noel decided to ring robert’s parents saying, robert was an animal at the choir boys concert so i said don’t text

your daddy, just walk home and then i saw robert passed out in the drain, and i rushed him to the hospital and he didn’t make it and then noel hung up on robert’s parents

and went outside to reveal himself and robert wasn’t sure who noel was as he was made to look like an animal, and noel said you are with me now robert

and i told your parents your dead, cause robert, i planned your life, i plannec those kids cheering you on and i planned the concert too, i planned you meeting

up with mates camping in your parents backyard and now, i am planning that you will be ab animal till the day you die, and robert, uncle noel will **** you at midnight

and then robert’s friends after being at a fake memorial were very distraught about robert’s kidnapping ****** and decided to piece this puzzle and the first thing they

did was go to the hospital and say, do you remember a boy dying from lying in a ditch and they said, that breaks doctor patient confidentiality but after a few weeks the

nurse who said that to the youngsters said, according our files robert is still alive, so whatever the reason why you had a memorial for him, i don’t have a clue and

robert’s friends went back to roberts parents and said robert is still alive according to the hospital and who told you he was dead and robert’s father said just a friend and decided

to piece together the map to find out what really happened to his son, as robert was eating chicken bones and dog food and then robert got very angry every time he saw noel

and said LET ME OUT, YOU FUCKEN ****, but in a whiny dull voice and noel was getting his way with the schlanker family and then mr schlanker rang noel up and something felt

weird about noel’s voice and robert’s father said, IF YOU HAVE ROBERT, GIVE YOURSELF UP, OK and noel said no way buddy and hung up the phone grabbed the animal like robert

and took off to the sea, where robert would be thrown to the sharks but the police caught up with noel and robert was rescued and noel was put back in prison and the robert and

his parents really were upset for what noel did to their family and robert went to the hospital and after 4 hours died in their care while robert’s parents went back to their home and

cleaned out robert’s bedroom and after hearing robert passing away on the radio, noel said, my work here is done heh heh heh and noel was given life inprisonment and robert’s parents

were very sad that their only child is dead but they have to move on, in 5 years robert’s parents got a divorce, and went their separate ways and robert’s farher was a lonely old man living in adelaide

while robert’s mother married brian allan, the famous internet writer and he had 3 girls, and lived as happy as she can be after her terrible ordeal with losing robert.

the end

today i learnt of a good friend who died

and she was the life of every party

you see, who knows why she died, who knows who knows

she might want to be a famous person

like going on home and away or neighbours or whatever

you see she liked the life of a real Australian girl

you see when i heard this afternoon, i was shocked

but she was probably suffering, ya know i as cronus don’t want her to suffer

cronus is up there with her trying to work out which ****** she goes into first

you see i remember she called me fatty boomsticks

and she loved having fun with her young brand of teasing

you see i liked her, but i wasn’t in love, but it’s sad to see her go

why would she die so close to the Paris terrorist attacks, WHY, MATE

buddha and cronus have plans for her to end her suffering on earth

so, now she goes off to her next life saying yeah i am glad i haven’t got fits anymore

and one thing she asked cronus, please put me in a healthy body, and make me happy

and cronus, who is me, said, ok, i think you have suffered enough

then my old case manager peter took her by the hand and asked

we are all going off to our future lives, and cronus can help do that

you see he put his earth body’s father into betty campbell, and

he hasn’t shown much, and we are taking his brain so he doesn’t remember what he said

but he will know, but not to tell the world, and then peter took her hand and

brought her toward the bar and started drinking with her, she had a beer, to say goodbye to earth

at least for 9 months while she is in her future mothers ******

it’s sad to see her go, it’s very sad to see her go

but hopefully her problem with epilepsy will be noticed and her next life will be as healthy as a horse

yeah, goodbye farewell, to you we say goodnight

if i see your next life on TV, youtube or even helping people who have problems

you see she was a happy lady, and now me who cronus and buddha

have the work to bring her forward to her next life


GOODBYE, and enjoy your future life, whatever it is

ummmmmmmm it is a terrible night in paris


ummmmmmmm violent terrorists **** so many


ummmmmmmmmm  people up there having a holiday



ummmmmmmmm we must bring peace to the french capital


Ummmmmmmmm  whether you are at a concert, soccer or on the streets

your not safe, ummmmmmmm   please help families of innocent people bring their loved ones home



ummmmmmmm   dead or alive, dead or alive dead or alive

ummmmmmmm  please buddha make sure people in paris are safe


ummmmmmmm  we need the people of france to raise their flag both internally and externally


ummmmmmmmmm    a horrible night in paris, heal the injured heal the injured heal the injured

ummmmmmmmmmm   paris doesn’t deserve this kind of treatment,

ummmmmmmmmmmm   ummmmmmmmmmmmm ummmmmmmmmmmm, save france save the people and make the streets safe


ummmmmmmmm terrorists shouldn’t win, terrorists shouldn’t win

NO WAY UMMMMMMMMMMMM

you see i saw the dietitian this morning and i have to avoid foods

that are high in saturated fats, like low fat milk and low fat cheese

and sardines and tangarines and i have to lay low of coca cola

as well as snowdrops marshmallow chocolate, and i need to

really look after myself, in a way to make my cholesterol low

i can’t have hot chips except for oven fries, low in saturated fats

i can have gravox but it has to low in saturated fat not like fatrty gravy

i am having steak and broccoli and cauliflower tonight,

and i am grilling the steak

i bought some nuts for afternoon tea and i forgot to get the yoghurt

but i can have a tangerine for morning tea and a few nuts as well, dudes

next wednesday at the poetry slam, i am going treat myself to a coke or two

and get back into my meal plan after that is over

you see athena is going to work towards me not getting hungry between meals

but it might not work, seeing i am used to eating too much

you see i still have spurs in my foot, but athena is working towards making my feet comfortable

ya see dudes, i am going to try and make this work, i know i like coke as a cosmic drink

and it may improve the source of my life, but if i work to cutting down on coke

i might lower my cholesterol and i might feel better

you see i don’t want to go in the psych ward again, cause that is where the crazy people are

and i am not crazy, last time i was there i was a artist and writer and i performed

concerts to improve the quality of the inmates life

ya see, i like coke but i might need to cut back, so i can lower my cholesterol

and not make the dietitian say, there isn’t much point you coming here

and i think i will feel better, and think about the stories i want to write

but i don’t want to go to the nuthouse, because they are all delusional

so, dudes, i white roll with low fat cheese and sardine and tomato for lunch

i nibbled on nuts in the afternoon and for dinner i had steak and broccoli and cauliflower

and for tonights snack i will have a tangerine,

and i will try to do this every day, no cream buns for now, no coke for now

my mum will help me with some of the ingredients for what i am going to eat

sardines are good, and so is tuna and salmon

i want to save money, so if i cut back, not give up, just cut back on coke junk food etc

i will feel healthy, and if i feel angry i will write it out of me

like yummy srcummy cream buns and fruit and nut chocolates yuuuuuummmmmmmy

but athena is going to work to lower my cholesterol and make me feel better

because i feel like the forces of evil are trying to get me to do what i used to do, in 1989-90

and i still hear voices of people saying i am SHY I AM SHY, i can tell you one thing, I AM NOT SHY

i don’t want to get fought of killed and i want athena to help me from dying of high cholesterol

you see i don’t believe in fasting, and i want athena to heal my body, with each of my medications

you see i know i ran off my fat and then i became fat again, but then when i was running

i obseesed so much with it, i kept yelling at my schizophrenic voices, so running was really working

but in hindsight, i still want to walk, and hopefully i can get back into running again without the voices

so, come on guys, please help athena to bring my cholesterol down, ok

the ladies oh the ladies louder now

celebrate christmas with a almighty roul

you see christmas is the time of the year where we party right

like drinking alcohol and get ******, yeah that is quite great

you see kids see Santa and ask them what would they like

and the ladies buy the men a cordless drill

as well as the men giving a ladies a big diamond ring

yeah we will party with the song

we wish you a jetty christams we wish you a merry christmas

and a happy new year

christmas is the time of year to Party party party

and you get some eggnog and say come on ya ****** smarty

oh dudes we will lift up our glassed and sing

to the christ child the nirvanaly king

you see christmas is the happiest time

for a happy dude like me, to enjoy life too

silent night holy night all is calm all is bright

round yon ****** mother and child

once in royal davids city the party is on for young and old

as santa goes a travelling through the computer

giving presents to everyone there

and then on the first day of christmas my truelove gave to me

a dollar so i buy a homeless man his tea

if that isn’t enough, how about just leave it in his hat

so he could add it up  and buy many more dinners from all the money he raised

away in a manger no crib for a bed

the little lord buddha laid down his sweet head

he would wake up and say, i control the 3 kings of orient are

i bare gifts as i travel afar

i am dreaming of a white christmas, well stop cause in Australia it’s too **** hot

for it’s the summer weather, the bbqs are lit together

as we are a walking around singing a song living in a summer wonderland

on the beach we can build a sandcastle and bury poor old patrick in the sand

and then he will jump and SHUT UP, why don’t you give your family a ****** woman a ****** hand

then we jump in the saddle nice and quick all in there with good saint nick

Feliz Navidad i want to wish a merry Christmas

i wish you a merry christmas form the bottom of my heart, i lost when my friends treat me like a criminal

six white boomers six white boomers racing good old Patrick through the blazing sun

then Patrick sent to santa what about the toys

aren’t you giving these to all the boys and girls

or are you saying that boys are better than girls like a cool kid that you are

a pair of hoppalong boots and pistol that shoots,is a gift for Patrick and Wayne

dolls that will talk and go for a walk a grift from Joanne and Paula

now dudes as i am prepared to party on dude till the break of dawn

hey dude




hey dude, hows it hanging, yeah

just hang loose and enjoy yourself

and don’t forget we need to party, dude

all through the day, oh yeah

hey dude

what are you going to do

you see you tip soup all over the big baboon

and he will yell at you and make you unhappy, yeah hey hey dude

hey dude it’s hard to change

especially when everyone is living in the past with you

you need to understand what you are good at

and leave your hooligan behind

hey dude, and what do i do

we sing songs to make us a

whole heap of happy dudes

and if anyone tries to take our happy away

just yell at them to STOP, right now

hey dude, do you want to party

we’ll have a bottle of grandmas best wine

and don’t forget will get really blind, hey hey dude

hey dude we are drunk again

let’s party right with all our mates around us

to cheer us on, and make us happy

oh yeah hey dude

hi dudes




i am enjoying watching neighbours at the moment because it teaches that people don’t trust

anyone who ever messes with kids, yeah, i dealt with it, i didn’t know it at the time but i dealt with it

at the time i thought they were rich ****** but i have to be careful as i can’t seem to get past this

i am just in the same boat as steph, you see she was worried about losing her son, and me, i wanted

to be with the cool kids down the mall, now, dudes, i haven’t caused many problems lately and i am ready

for and nonsense teasingt, i think that neighbours is being thorough in showing how people who hassles

children get treated, once a man looked at me weird just for sitting next to his daughter and he said mate

kids are innocent and then said i know all about ya, it taught i will never be a father or family man and people

tell me to stop looking at their babies, with the words, get ya fucken eyes off my baby, when i ain’t looking at their

fucken baby, young teenagers tell me to stop staring, but they just don’t want me staring, i don’t think they knew me

but steph is being tortured in her mind by situations that make her crazy, especially when you can’t change the past

and steph, as well as me, should be left alone to get better, you see what these people who tease you don’t realise

is, steph as well as me are dealing with, finding it hard to get past their past, especially when i was being teased like

being given wee, nobody wanted to party in nightclubs with me, or a goofy friend with anger management issues,

you see i am never going to have kids

nobody wants me because i am ugly and they can’t trust me

it’s worst for steph cause her issues with kids were close to her

you see i got grabbed outside the charnwood inn and i ran through civic saying FUCKEN STOP HASSLING ME

steph is feeling the same way, but she hears green sleeves, over and over and dudes, she is getting teased by a ****

yeah you heard me right, A BIG RICH ****, she got a phone call saying it was charlie, but it appears not, and then

another woman who is also is a BIG RICH ****, had a son Charlie, and she said she wanted the extra and then

she came back and said she never asked for it, and there was no Charlie, and yes, she was a BIG RICH ****, don’t ever

think that kind of teasing is cool, because it ain’t, remember what hannah montana said, everybody makes mistakes

everybody has those days, and NOBODY’S PERFECT,   you see i would like to see steph do a bit of buddhist positive suffering

to show the world, how many problems the mentally ill deal with each today, if she loses her job, who cares, it teaches the crowd that

mentally ill people are just getting treated like hobos, you see, ya know, no matter what i did, people do many worst  things than me

like armed robberies, and some people **** kids, me or steph never killed them, you see if we saw steph suffer a bit on the show

it teaches the world how awful people who have a mental problem and a past have to deal with it, you see my writing is good

still mentally ill, my art is talented, still mentally ill, i get reviews i don’t like i a man said i was ******* but i think my shows are cool

and i have a very chronic mental illness, perhaps i have to wait till my next life to get jobs or have fun with kids, oh well,

but i am grateful to channel 10 are using steph to show how mentally ill people suffer

i know what i did, but i am doing art and theatre go to poetry slams do shows on youtube

go to the christmas carols watching parades on youtube, and i helped mentally ill people have a meal when the BIG RICH *****

have forgotten about or teasing, you see the country we live in don’t give a flying **** about the mentally ill, the teasers start the problems

of the person by doing a harmless little tease, only to BIG FAT RICH *****, steph from neighbours is the mentally ill’s skate goat

my advice to you, don’t go to people’s homes  all it might send your voices going haywire, i am happy that channel 10 is using steph

to show the world what mentally ill people are going through, and instead of seeing steph go back to the psych ward, how about

the world gives her a case manager and loads of activites like bowling and golf, they do it on the family sitcoms, i just am so tired of

channell 10 are so blind when it comes to mental illness, the mentally ill need community care on the show neighbours, ok

you see i fear the hooligans of this town are doing to me like i did to dad

you see i hated what i did as a child, because everyone was nice except

the bullies who bullied me to get posers out of my television guide

even if it ruined my guide, I don’t want people bullying me in that way

you see young dudes watch TV and adults out for walks

well young dudes go fro walks occasionally and i am in young dude heaven

you see people are trying to pump my body up to make me fight them

I don’t believe in violence and i don’t believe in mucking with cowards who want to fight

you see dudes, i am not a hooligan, i am a family person

you see i hate being told to stop looking at someones baby

especially when i ain’t really looking, and i hate being forced to fight the hooligans

who pick you on the the street and start bullying you for no apparent reason

you see dudes i am a reformed man now, I hated what the men used to do to me

I would hate to be treaed  like my mate because he is such a loser and he is so negative

and he probably brought it all on himself but i don’t want to be treated like him

especially when i am a nice person and i don’t want people to bully me

i had too much of that bullying in school and at the LETS course

and i remember being bullied at fyshwich TAFE, i just want people to leave me alone

whether i can fight or not, I don’t want to fight, so stop trying to fight me

you see last night i heard dad coming into my dream trying to explain exactly what he was doing

but i said, dad work on Betty, because i was just trying to be a normal kid

who was suffering through bullying all my childhood years

well, i might not have showed it, but i hated giving up my posters and i hated being with Lyle

you see he had anger management issues and i hated giving up all my money to Paula

mind you i like helping the poor, but i don’t want to be forced to, only when i have enough money

I hate when the poor drunken louts of this town treating me like a man to bully

if i don’t pay attention, and i hated being tread like a hooligan who has to be an on looker

i prefer if people would stop trying to pulley me, i don’t believe in bullying or kidnapping

I feel people are trying to keep me with the losers and if i don’t go near the losers

like the poster boy and Paula the lady asking for money

I hate being asked for money, I wish i had money, so i can be famous

I hate when people laugh at me, i have been laughed at all my life

I don’t want people to treat me like a little shy boy, or a target to tees

you see they are little wooseys for life, you see i love life

I love life more that any of these mates, ever did, and if i wanted to **** myself i would have done it now, I am not shy

i just don’t want the people at the mall to keep fighting so close to me, fighting is for the hooligans and i am not a hooligan

I was a nice boy at school and i didn’t believe in violence or bullying in anyway

If i could have that time all back, I would say NO, because i hate when people treat me like a ****** push over

i am no push over, and i wish people would leave me alone and stop treating me like a man to a fight

fighting is for the pits,and i don’t believe in violence in anyway

i prefer to be in young dude heaven which is with people who would treat me like a normal person

the truth of the past with my thoughts


i remember when i was getting drunk with beer

and my mate lyle was saying my beard doesn’t suit me

but what he really meant was drinking beer doesn’t suit me

because i get too drunk

so he bullied me all the way to the train

he did mean that beer doesn’t look good on me

but he said my beard doesn’t suit me cause he ain’t my daddy

then a man in melbourne said just because you have a beard doesn’t make you a man

but he meant just because you drink beer doesn’t make you a man

young dudes used to call me woosey but they wanted me to stand up to them

so i could get bullied all my life, well, i don’t want to get bullied because only school kids bully

you see i stopped drinking beer but i kept my beard because a beard helps me be a sophisticated writer and artist

and i look good at the poetry slam with a beard, yeah lyle was right, beer isn’t the right drink for me

i prefer cocacola, i know it rots your teeth but it tastes ****** great, dude

beer isn’t a good look for me

my beard suits me down to the ground

just because you drink beer doesn’t make you a man, i could be a cool person who drinks coke, i love my beard

beard = the bushy thing on my chin, it suits me to a tee

jingle splat, christmas song



jingle splat jingle splat

splatting all the day

falling on a nice cream pie

cheering all the way

jingle splat jingle splat

cheering for the mob

oh yeah, the big party dude

splatting all day long

you see on christmas eve

2 fat people have a dance

lifting up their body yeah

just to go splat on the floor

then they got right up

after 5 minutes on the ground

and then some cruel teasers said

they were the fattest people in town

ya see we go jiggle splat jingle splat

all over the dance floor, yeah

ya see we wanted to be thin my friend

but the forces of evilly made us fat

a day or 2 ago

we drank 2 bottles of egg nog oh yeah

and we got as drunk as skunks

and boy, our bellies were growing a lot

and we could hardly  see our toes

as we ate the christmas cake

and then 2 ladies walked right past them

and they were as skinny as a rake

we go jingle splat jingle splat

all over the ****** floor

but we were so ****** fat

we could hardly fit through the door

jingle splat jingle splat

christmas day is near

this is the day, we splat around ya know

eating fatty food all the day

i was going to watch the cavalry on youtube but the stream was awful, dude

so  i tried and tried to get it right, but i know it was my father saying be like us man

i eventually got sick of it, so i turned the whole stream off

and put a really cool band on called the scorpions yeah

you see in those days rock music rules supreme, better than the army ever ****** could

and the young ones was the best show as they were making fun of right wing *****

now i left a message on the message bank saying that the bandwidth was cool

hoping that sometime into the night i will be able to view the end of the baseball

i am seeing my old school mates being little cool kids to my dead dad

they are saying it’s not music brian it’s sport but i like music as well as sport

i know my mum is currently at church, worshipping her false idol

but that’s alright because, cool dude, i like christmas too

you see the scorpions are the best band to rule the earth

better than malcolm turn bull, the stupid ****** ****

my dad wants to squeeze me into his little world

because i tiold him i believe in the cosmos

you see dude i am fighting my way through this world

to get what i want in the next life

i don’t like the voices i am getting

with robbers killing me with my mother

i want to live a long life in this life,  to find out what the bother

i drink coca  cola to improve my next life, yeah

i am a heavy metal poet, to ever go to a poetry slam

bad slam no biscuit, bad slam no biscuit bad slam no biscuit

i don’t care if i am hanging around with oldies

i want to watch the cavalry but if the stream is bad, i don’t want to be like nanny

mind you nanny is john robert rimel, now, but she, oops he is still creative though

but i can guarantee that he doesn’t watch crap like days of our lives

please save me from this moment i am having a creative life

and whatever i will be tomorrow depends on what buddha wants for me, cronus, yeah

so i will party on, i will party on like tomorrow will  never come

live for today and let your future life heal to make tomorrow very radically awesome, heh

briano alliano performs on venus party trap




oh yeah, bow bow come on and party on, oh yeah

get down and party and listen to everyone saying hey dudes lets party on

move on toward the next day, partying is so much fun

we get out the methane smoothies and spray it all over the dead up here

you see if you are sitting in the bedroom feeling like a hooligan

just go to bed and join me in the venus party trap and sing

we wish you a merry christmas we wish you a merry christmas

we wish you a merry christmas from everyone here

you see the videos on youtube a crackling up, but it sometimes shows a good effect

like it keeps pausing and you see the picture looking fantastic, oh yeah bow bow

you see people drinking alcohol very slowly, oh yeah, dude

you see i am a family person who loves to party, party party won’t stardy

move me, oh yeah won’t you move me

i watch all sorts of shows on youtube like entertaining christmas tree lighting ceremonies

and i try and watch stop start halloween parades on youtube, it’s got a good effect

and that is the methane dripping down on brian allan’s computer

you see i feel like someone is trying to keep with the young dudes

despite me liking what i had when i was a kid

i liked when young dudes would show me a picture, and slow it up and blow it up

and that is the reason why computers break up, but it looks cool

and then a voice comes up and says your just as messed up as the rest of us brian allan


and now here is another song titled let it shine, a copy of the christmas song let it snow

the weather outside is wonderful and the sun is so cool, yeah

and i don’t know which way oh yeah, let it shine let it shine let it shine

the bbq is slowly dying and the firemen says we have a fire ban

yeah we could blame the sun, instead we go let it shine let it shine let it shine

santa swimming in the beach enjoying his life yeah, oh yeah he hates leaving the sea yeah

the kids are enjoying santa swimming in the surf but they want santa to deliver his presents everywhere

and the men lift their beers and say, let it shine let it shine let it shine

we finally entered the pub, you see santa was there saying it’s too hot to go out in the sun

and then some drinkers came up to him and said, you must go out cause the kids are waiting for you

so santa finally left the pub and went out to every computer in the land delivering presents to everyone

and one family in kalgoorlie decided to leave santa a nice cream bun

and as santa did his run, he said let it shine let it shine let it shine

you see he flew all over Australia dude saying ** ** ** to you and as the sun was going

the sun was gone and despite us wanting it to shine, dudes, it wouldn’t and afterwards he delivered his presents

saying GOODBYE AUSTRALIA, i enjoyed swimming in your pools, oh yeah

ok, dudes and now here is another song titled i was a hooligan but not anymore

you see i went out and destroyed the earth and touched up people yeah i was bad

i want to get reformed, but i hear voices from people saying they don’t want me to get reformed

i know my old mates say my beard doesn’t suit me, but it does suit me

it makes me look like a writer and artist and it makes me enjoy my life oh yeseree

you see i love the idea of drinking and i love the idea of destroying lives of old conservos, kick ‘em up the ***

i want these voices to go, but instead i get ***** trying to get rid of the parties next door

i said, you idiot, i want my voices that only i can hear out of my head, yeah i am schizophrenia

i want to hear parties next door, to drown out the voices in my head

but there is another way, i need to relax and take my medication

and sing away in a manger no crib for a bed the little lord buddha lays down his sweet head

the stars in the bright sky look down where he lays, the little lord buddha asleep on the hay

and that means buddha is a reincarnation of jesus

and then we sing silent night holy night all is calm and all is bright

round yon ****** mother and child, holy infant tender and mild

sleep in nirvanly peace man, sleep in nirvanly peace

and after my medication gets rid of all angry thoughts and angry feelings

yeah maybe showing me the little girl that the boys were protecting me from

mainly because i am not a little girl, i am a man, but i don’t want to be an angry man

a ray of hope glitters into the light and a glimse of buddha shining into the night

and that is when  a child is born

jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way

oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh

jingle bells bat man smells robin laid an egg

the bat mobile lost it’s wheel, the joker got away

you see people think i hated my life in the 80s, i HATED THE TEASING I HATE HOW PEOPLE THINK I PREFER TO DO NOTHING

I LIKE DOING STUFF, i hate how people thought i never liked being creative, i love it

ok dudes, now it’s time to go, goooooodbye

Briano Alliano performing at jupiter moon



hi dudes and welcome to Jupiter Moon and today christmas has come early

with a whole lot of funny christmas carols that i have wrote and the first one

joy to the world


joy to the world

christmas is great

a bumper holiday, i say, mate

you see we have roast dinners

and pavlova and fruit punch

and a mighty tasty super slush

tasty for the mouth, tasty for the mouth

tasty tasty, tasty for the mouth

i rule the world with my magic wand

i wave it when i feel great

hills and plains and rocks and streams to sit and have a look

at the wonderful water, at the wonderful water at the at the

wonderful water, oh yeah, you can almost taste that wine that

jesus turned it into

joy to the earth, oh jesus birth

thanks to the might of cronus

you see as his arrival into the world made everyone happy yeah

we sing the beautiful carols we sing the beautiful carols

we sing we sing we sing the beautiful carols

with all our pride,

ok dudes, that was a great song and here is my version of christmas bells are ringing

marshmallows and flavoured milk

oh what a wonderful sight you see

opening christmas presents

underneath the christmas tree

there are gifts for uncle Tom and uncle Jay

and each kid gave each present a little play

they sang carols like deck the halls

and away in a manger, silent night and joy to the world

and then out came the fruit punch we all can share

we go

ding a ling ding a ling christmas bells are ringing

oh yeah let’s party on christmas day is coming

the party is on for young and old

then mrs ratcombe came out

we thought ‘what a mole’

ding a ling oh yeah let it ring

the christmas bells are ringing

ding a ling, oh yeah it will ring

every single day

yeah santa came through your computer screen tonight saying ** ** ** to you

and he left many presents for mark and tom and little baby foo

you see they fed their faces on  turkey and lollies and more food

and each kid told santa that they were very good

ding a ling ding a ling

christmas bells are ringing

santa coming through your computer screen

to leave your presents there

and at each house he will have marshmallow slice and beer and coke

and *** ***** and white christmas, oh yeah

oh yeah oh yeah ding a ling

the christmas bells are ringing

merry christmas dudes

hi dudes and wasn’t that a great song and now here is sitting at the mall, because there is nothing i like better

is sitting at the mall especially as the christmas tree is up, here it goes

sitting at the mall

and man, i eat too much junk food

it makes me slow

it makes me weary

you see i want to positive so let’s party from now to christmas, fine

i will go to my family’s house and listen to the carols play

you see this brings on a perfect life

i like singing christmas carols

around the table on christmas day

i want to see the christmas parade in adelaide and a few weeks later in perth

and video them for youtube, so i can push up my views

every kid and big strong adult would say merry christmas

and have a wonderful day

and i go about my life filled with junk food saying

hi di hi di **, the big fat elephant is so slow

and i see the kids playing with their christmas gifts oh yeah

they consume lolly after lolly and they will get really fat

they will look liken santa, how about that

so i can feel fit and be a cool entertainer singing

jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way

oh what fun it is to play

on santa’s one horse open sleigh

and i am dreaming of a white christmas down here

well stop, cause in Australia it’s too **** hot

thanks dudes and now as it is coming on

a bit of summer weather


You see it's the summer weather
The barbecues are being cooked so well yeah
And the swimmers at the beach
are swimming between flags avoiding the sharks
And those crazy surfers as they surf with Santa
they drop off at the night club
to order a pina calada, yeah, that sure keeps us cool
You see it's summer weather
And you sun bake on the beach yeah
put on heaps of suncream, so cancer don’t strike, yeah yeah yeah
You see it's the summer weather
My poppy came out with a nice beer
And my two kids bobby and Toby had a coke
and they enjoyed that a lot
You see it takes away the hot, especially in ice
And it is great in the summer weather
Cause our drinks keeps us cool
You see it's the summer weather
The cricket and baseball is a playing
You see the players take about 5 hours to move oh yeah
And we see these players stand around forever
And in late of summer is the summer of tennis
watching the best players from around the world
and afterwards they go to the pub and celebrate
we say it's the summer weather cause those drinks keeps us cool
it’s the summer weather, the end of another year yeah
we lay the fireworks on the beach
so the lightshow, will be great
as midnight approaches we yell HAPPY NEW YEAR and then we say
what great summer weather, out champagne sure, keeps us cool

and now here is the song summer wonderland


The beer is chilling in the esky
Abc the BBQ is nice and hot yeah
And the kids are playing with their presents oh yeah that sounds real rad
And the swimming pool is being cleaned by your father and you can't swim in it cause the pool claurine
Can **** you well
You see we are running around
Up up and down
In a summer wonderland
You see Johnny Butthead and
Micheal Kenny and Robbie roe
And Kenny gee gee
And the superman of the heavens
Brings us nice weather and that makes us feel great yeah
Walking around singing a song
Walking in a summer wonderlsnd
On the beach we all made a sand castle and buried uncle Robbie
In the sand and then as he called
Out come on ya bludgers
Give us adults a ****** hand
You see when Robbie got out of that
He jumped around the beach
I was buried in sand
And yeah mate yeah I understand
Walking along singing a song
Living in a summer wonderland

ok dudes, that was a great song, and now dudes here is a song about santa claus new journey

you see santa claus came through the computer through the computer through the computer

santa claus cam through my computer, to give the gifts oh yeah

every time he came through the computer rolling around in cyber space

every time he came through the computer, he went up and then went down

you see tommy was a little boy trying to be good and susie was a little girl

who wanted santa to come, oh yeah

but susie was raised with santa going down the chimney yeah

and she went in and asked her dad, how can santa come here

and dad got out his apple Mac and said santa claus comes through this computer

through this computer through this computer

santa claus comes through this computer

to zap your presents there

you every christmas he comes through your computer

rolling around in cyber space

you see you can see every christmas eve you can see in your computer

a vision of santa coming through

santa claus comes through your computer through your computer through your computer

santa comes through your computers

santa will still eat lollies and cakes and a nice cold can of beer

so don’t be shy to leave them out as santa will be happy oh yeah

you see christmas day is a good day for santa to drop by

but for those families who have no chimney they will wonder how

you see santa claus comes through your computer through your computer through your computer

santa claus comes through your computer, ready to zap presents to you

here he is going through your computer, rolling around in cyber space

you see here santa is dropping from your apple Mac with a very loud thump

santa claus comes through your computer through your computer through your computer

you see santa is dropping through your computer, oh yeah let’s party on


and now here is stop dreaming of a white christmas, cause it’s too **** hot, pretty cool dude

You see I believe the North Pole is
Great and has a lot of penazz oh yeah
And Robbie roe decided to host his
Own Christmas bash with a BBQ and beer oh yeah come on
And then Martin pence bought
100 cases of the most expensive
Wine money can buy
And his 12 year old son
Said what about the coke dad oh yeah
You see it"s ****** hot and you have for a drink so what about us
Kids we need coke, oh yeah
And Martin prince said to his son
That we will have enough coke
Oh yeah cute cause it's hot
And we need to cool ourselves down
So stop dreaming of a white Christmas cause it!'s too **** hot
And on the day of Christmas Eve it hit 37 degees and we didn't feel like doing much let alone the preparation of the party so what we did is have a
5 hour dip in the swimming pool oh yeah carn Christmas spirit right out of me, oh yeah come on dudes
And the kids kept on jumping on us
Leaving us sore but at least we were having a nice dip in the pool to cool ourselves down do we can get ready for the party oh yeah mate yeah
So stop dreaming of a white Christmas cause it's too **** hot you see you see with pretty great
Mountains  and candy cane fountains  so stop dreaming of a white Christmas csuse it's too **** hot for that too **** stop dreaming of a white Christmas cause it's too **** hot for that
The kids are playing backyard cricket yeah and the men came out
To have a hit and the ladies are in
There swearing as they cook the bird
But the ladies have an agreement
That the kids and men all do the cleaning up and talk about the sports whilst doing that
So stop dreaming of a white Christmas cause dudes
It's too **** hot too **** hot
Too **** hot for that
No white Christmases in Australia pal

and now it’s time to go, goodbye jupiter moon

hi dudes

last year i had to do, my dad died and i had to share my brieving oh yeah

last year i had to do, you see my previous life cronus, had to reincarnate my dad to betty

you see i was running and walking and i lost energy

because i was really hyped up, i ain’t into fetes at schools

but i had to do that because i was trying to remember dad and grieve

you see dad was throwing down memories

and i was the belconnen santa meeting the tuggeranong santa

you see i had to say, i was the christmas man

i did a lot of youtube videos and i don’t do as much now

because i am getting tired, maybe it’s my body reforming to make sure i don’t back to the psych ward

as i said i had to do that last year because i want to take all the hype out of my brain

so i can totally relax when i am with company

i remember taking a girl to a few concerts at stage ’88 and a tent over near parliament house, ya know john farnham

and sitting near parliament house watching the carols, and i like the lighting of the christmas tree

and i wanted dad and mum to see what canberra has to offer, and

i got hyped up, as my childhood desire of me, wanting to be famous, so i went on the internet

to see what i am good at, and yes, i am good at art, art colony, yes i am good at writing hello poetry

yes i can put a show on, youtube, and i am into a lot of what youtube has to offer, on my Facebook page

you see, i know i said, i will never go on Facebook but i had to, i am famous on the computer

and last year, dads spirit was getting into my body, and most of my videos were created by dad

and dad isn’t around, he’s betty, actually what is really happening, i am having fun, but i am getting tired

from entertaining, you see i had a few good ideas from youtube, like the carols by computer screen

i will be doing that again this year, and i am bringing bing crosby back to life as him and frank sinatra

were getting their spirits into my body, to let people know what christmas shows used to be, dad helped

you see dad taught us how computers can relive the past, youtube has dads spirit all through, but in a way

the people on youtube do things that dad wouldn’t approve of, even me, but everybody is different

you see preaching discipline is wrong, because you go to the youtube page, to learn what different people

are doing, you see when i was young i was sort of the black sheep of the family, in a way, i just disappeared

like what happened in 2013, and dad told us about his cat who used to turn the radio channel to the smokey dawson show

you see he lived his childhood from radio, but we were one of the only families who had a computer back in the 80s

well, we weren’t really, i am sure many more families had computers in the 80s, but not as much as now

dad looked like an old fogie, and i was teasing him, but that doesn’t mean i hated computers, and it doesn’t mean i hated dad

because in those days, only old fogies had the best computers, and in those days, you had to have money to be famous

you had to be good also, you see last year in 2014, i was having problems with the death of my dad, i was writing all this crap

and i couldn’t get  the anger out of my body and it was hard, but i finally got it out, but dad took a while to bring me back

because i like heavy metal, and i like the idea of bringing the carols by computer screen to life, i might seem like an old fogie at the moment

but that is better than being too woosey to be a computer nerd, you see dad is helping me be able to read my poems at the poetry

slam on the 3rd wednesday of each month, you see back in the 90s, i couldn’t read poems like this, and i got teased for that, but

i ain’t living in the past, well if i did, i will live in the year 0f 2002, when i started writing stories and poems, you see writing is better

than sitting on the sideline, when i have a talented family, and i am inheriting some of that talent, but i still like being lazy though

so i sit on my couch doing my tapestry like a cool adult ya see, you see, i find bing crosby and frank sinatra are the best christmas

entertainers, and i have written a few christmas carols like my version of white christmas, i am dreaming of a white christmas well stop

cause it’s too **** hot for that, and summer weather instead of winter weather and the good old winter wonderland, i have a carol summer wonderland

on the beach we can build a sandcastle, and bury uncle robbie in the sand, and my father came out saying carn ya bludgers, give your ****** mum

a ****** hand, you see i remembered dad said, i shouldn’t use ******, but i am taking the mickey out of the aussie language

but i stuck at my guns, determined to bring my carols by computer screen to life, being hyped up, but despite last year

getting a lot of fans, i still was hyped up, like, i want to host the raiders show properly but i need to relax, and at the end of this year

i will dressing up as a bird at the belconnen arts centre doing the cha cha and doing movements to the costume makers story of the bird

i am looking forward to that, and i promise i will be the best bird there, dads spirit is there trying to make people understand that this is

something i like, because this year has been a bit slow for me, but the bird piece will see if i could do movement well, which will bring me

to broadway in my next life, and maybe it might get canberra away from the group status, because i don’t give a toss about canberra

i am still enjoying my life, i have a lot of confidence in myself to be a good actor, mind you, who cares if there might be a few hiccups this year

i still got through it, i will be continuing to do carols by computer screen, this year i am spending christmas eve, with my mum, watching

the muppet family christmas and the carols by candlelight in melbourne and we will have lucky dips, buying thins $3.00 and less

and we are going to the stage ’88 christmas carols together, bringing a picnic dinner, and sing waving candles  to and fro

you see i am determined to keep bing crosby’s spirit still on earth over the computer,

hi dudes

i had a blood test and it showed i have high cholesterol and the doctor put me on

rosuvastatin, 20 mg, it might be because i am fat, but i listen to doctors cause they know best

and i know athena is working to make look at me eating healthy food and go for walks even

if i look like i am ready to bed, yes i don’t show much energy, and i can be lazy at times

but taking 1 tablet at night on top of my mental illness medication seroquel and serenade

a lot of people call them quacks, but all i want is to live longer and inspire others to do the same

because doctors took an oathe to help you, and athena is working up in outer space to keep me relaxed

at night, not like other people who stress about exercise trying to copy me, well, ya know what i hate

well i hate the police officer who bashed that little girl for texting, i know he is a police officer but in that

situation he was a basher, i went for a walk around my suburb at 3.15 pm today, despite people saying i should

sleep, but i want to get better, and yes, i know i will go to another life anyway, i still prefer to be a human in my next life

so i can get on television, and be really famous, this weekend is halloween and i will do a show, whether i do it on photo booth

and transfer it over to youtube later on, as i have been having problems with youtube lately, but i want the show done

because then i can entertain people, you see i had a tooth extraction and it fucken hurts as i chew, but i take a panadol

to try and ease it, the dentist said, be patient, for it will go away, yes today i was going for a denture fitting

i have a vision of my best mates from school trying to get me to do what i used to do, because i was a tad weird

and i need seroquel and serenade and hosuvastatin, for my cholesterol and athena operating on me when i sleep, i will

hopefully might start to get better, you see high cholesterol is dangerous and i love life too much to die yet, and there

are many things i need to do, before i move to my next life like

1 totally clean my brain from evil thoughts

2  do shows on youtube and photo booth, to hopefully make my next life cool

3  lose me excitement that others are sick

4  eat as healthy as you can

5  keep saying to your angry voices, i am a happy dude, you seem to be an angry dude, a very very very angry dude

6  i want to be a part of many theatre performances and keep doing poetry slams

7  lose that voice, you are like mummy brian, from dads voice and the cool kids

8  i had fun being like the big mens kids back when i was young, but i want the voices to understand, i am grown up

9  keep taking my medication , so athena can help heal my hurts

you see if i do all this, my next life will be cool and famous

i am famous in a way, of being an artist a writer and a youtube partner, i want more

but if i follow all this, my next life will be popular, but i am looking after myself in a sort of a way

i feel popular now

bye dudes

i don’t want to be a hooligan, i used to get get yelled at at the pokies, I HATED THAT

i used to be pushed to being a shy person a shy old dogie,  I HATED THAT

i used to get yelled at in the towns centre tavern  I HATED THAT

people used to say i am shy,  I HATE BEING SHY

young dudes used to hide bullying me so mum and dad don’t find out  I HATED THAT

i hate people treating me like their mob, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE

you see the guy who nicked my lunch was an iditio, I WILL NEVER GO NEAR HIM

I WILL NEVER TOUCH ANOTHER POKER MACHINE, WASTE OF FUCKEN MONEY

i feel people are trying to take my fun away I HATE THEM

PEOPLE ARE CALLING ME A WOOSEY, I HATE THEM ALSO

peop[le are treating me like a ******, I HATE THEM

i was getting teased at work, ya see i was told i was getting a job at tuggers ACTEW

and without explaining to me, they gave the job to someone else, I HATE THEM, ***** THEM

people want me to behave like a mature adult, I HATE THAT

i am expressing myself, i want a break, PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK

support workers tease at work and when i tease, ya know just a small tease i get in trouble  I HATE THAT

a man was telling me i forgot to clean the hubcaps, when he could do it himself, I HATE THAT

I hear voices that people are truing to get me to do what i used to do, in every stretch of the imagination, I HATE THEM

i hear voices of people trying to get me to be an itchy hooligan, I HATE THAT

every time i hear a car or motorcycle i hype up by blowing my legs up, I HATE THAT

i hear my voices saying, your not a family person brian, or your still a shy person brian yer mate, I HATE THAT

i don’t want to get itchy feelings, I HATE THEM

the reason why i am not treating lyle like a mate, because he was crazy enough to put me in domestic violence, I HATE HIM

he had anger management issues  HE’S AN IDIOT

someone called me a great big ugly snout, I HATED HIM

you see i hate being involved in domestic violence, I HATE THAT

I HATE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

I HATE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

I DON’T WANT TO BE A YOUNG DUDE WHO LIKES DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, CAUSE I DON’T LIKE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

so in hindsight, i prefer to be a little young dude as opposed to someone who likes domestic violence

i hate violence in any way, i think i would know

don’t tell me to shut up, cause i won’t, got it, good

i just heard some awesome news

that makes me feel very cool

you see this years credit union christmas parade

will be LIVE all over Australia on GEM

i am looking forward to it, as i have only been to two

i want to watch it, it’ll be rad, thank you Adelaide for listening to my emails

i know i can be annoying, but you listened to me, oh yeah

watching the parade LIVE in canberra,

while we don’t have any here

we only have parades for babies, and a parade for the whole family on GEM will be radically awesome

because this parade is the best parade in Australia, better than canberra anyway

all we have in Canberra is people hanging around the mall teasing like children

but on november 14 my mate, i will be in my house watching the credit union christmas parade live on channel GEM

i love life, i love being alive because Adelaide are listening to me

adelaide adelaide adelaide rah rah rah

adelaide adelaide adelaide the best christmas parade by far

adelaide adelaide adelaide LIVE on channell GEM

it’s better oh so better than missing out this year because you have no money

adelaide adelaide adelaide we are the best

the christmas pageant on from 11 to 1 on 14 november on channel GEM

we wish you a merry christmas we wish you a merry christmas we wish you a merry christmas

and a joyous new year and a very joyous new year oh yeah

I am dreaming of a white Christmas
I say stop, cause it's too **** hot for that
You see instead of skiing and skating on ice
We are having barbecues and swimming in the pool
And instead of Santa coming down the chimney he goes through the computer screen and uncle robbie and jim bob
And Jacob lying on the beach getting a tan and if they are dreaming of a white Christmas well stop cause in Australia
It's too **** hot for that
You see kids are riding their surfboards
On Bondi beach and santa will join us
Everyone is having fun
And robbie pulls out six pack
And said lets get out backpacks
And hike through the kangaroo island bushland
If you dream of a white Christmas
Well stop cause in Australia it's too
**** hot
You see we go off the Queensland and sere the big pineapple and then go down to Coffs Harbour to see the big banana and mum is sweating in the kitchen cooking the Christmas bird
And we go to jamberoo to slide down the waterslide
And uncle Freddie said ** ** ** look at me go
I am dreaming of a white  Christmas
I should stop cause in Australia it's too **** too ****
Too **** hot

I don’t want to i don’t want to i don’t want to go to jail for taking photographs

why would you why would you why would you go to jail for taking photographs

I know i don’t want to take photos of children, It’s not worth it, man

and when i do go to family events, I have to be careful of who is around me

you see i don’t want to get locked up in a cell for taking photographs

especially when kids are always getting in the shot

I always check my video wisely before you tubing the video

no close ups of children, I get it, but i am not prepared to go to jail for photographs

I find it’s sick to touch children up, i find it hard to get out of this trap

i want to be famous, and boy I do want to be famous

and i i have to be careful because i don’t want to go to jail for taking photos

please kids, don’t get in my way, but i can’t avoid it too much

i should stay away from the school fetes and school carols evenings

because i don’t want to go to jail for taking photos

i don’t collect images of kids, anything that looks weird i delete it

i want to share my day out with people with my fans or friends

and i am not sharing illegal activity,

please i am scared to take close ups of kids because I know its wrong

i have an itchy stomach because i accidently take some photos

but whether i have the right to do that, i feel worried that i might go to jail

for taking a few photos

please dudes, I want to enjoy the candle festival this Saturday

and get a few great pictures of the adult acts and the candle garden

and i will try some of the food they have

I don’t want to i don’t want to i don’t want to

ever go to jail ever, especially something like taking photos

The people of Canberra, yes they love it, oh yeah

you see I come here after getting ribbed by *******
And teased by so called friends
When all I wanted was to be treated like a Normy
And, yes I did normal things, like watch footy and exercise
And I also ran around town trying to enjoy being a kid
Yes, I was made to be such an *******, I hated it
Me and my brother played cricket in the park
And these two dudes tried to scare us off
I am too fit for them, but I found one city
Was nothing like that, yes the Canberra crowd were nice to me
The first word a kid I hardly knew said to me, was your like us, man
Because he thought I was cool, to his point of view
And I made more school friends, and I found this so fun
Then, I made a friend who ended up going to the Raiders matches
When they started in 1982, and we had a lot of fun going to those matches
Cheering them on till their first grand final in 1987
And we continued it in 1989 and '91 and '92 and then their last premiership back in 1994, and that was the year that I went down to Mawson, where the Raiders leagues club was, and saw the team come home, and I asked my friend we support the Raiders, how about we support the Cannons, you see we play basketball, how about we watch it, the cannons are playing well, so we supported the Canberra Cannons, who were our local basketball team, yes, we saw players like Herb McEachin and Phil Smyth, and Jamie Kennedy and Andy Campbell, and my friend saw him at a course he did, and Willie Simmons, played for them, as well as the Alabama Slammer, who did a add for Captain snooze, it went, ' the Alabama slammer, through on his pygamas, lying on his bunk dreaming of the slam dunk, yes, Canberra was on the map, but like the Raiders they stopped playing really well, like finals well, and unlike the cannons are no more, but then after the Canberra Kookaburras were popular in Rugby Union in the 80s, I think the tune went like this, kookaburras play in the ACT, merry, merry, kings of the Union field was he, play kookaburras play, and we'll win the Sydney comp, well I think that is how it went, but who cares, because later on we got a stronger team , the ACT Brumbies, they were so cool, they won two cups, but this rugby comp was harder to win, and at the same time, the best Canberra team, who won the most cups, were the Canberra Capitals, who are the women's basketball team, yes, 10 out of 12 premierships, yes they are so cool, well the capitals run I think is over, and the Raiders have been doing well in the under 20s, but last year they did well and were thrashed in the grand final, Canberra looked doomed, untill something happened to Canberra in February 2013, and that was a moment that changed Canberra forever, you see I have been following tbe Major league from the USA, and I drove my friend nuts, you see the whole city of Canberra got behind the Raiders, and the cannons and the capitals and the Brumbies, the kookaburras, and we support our local Aussie rules comp, we have the best local comp in Australia, it went national, yes, that is cool, we made mistakes with the implosion of our old hospital, which killed Katie ******, and we at least haven't got a right wing government, back in the 80s, we had no government, but back to where we're at, in February 2013, Canberra changed, yes this was the time of the Canberra winning the Australian baseball Claxton shield baseball comp, from the wooden spoon, yes Canberra us great, and we are putting some great apartments up, to bring people here to live up to it's aboriginal name, meeting place, you see I met some really nice people at sporting events in Canberra, and I don't want that to change, you see Newcastle dudes don't have a good sports following like the Canberra crowd has, yes maybe they have the Jets, in soccer, and the Newcastle knights, but we have the GWS, yes they play 3 normal season matches in our city, so we are the boys in our wonderful city of Canberra, we support the AFL, and the AFL is the greatest game of all. Newcastle local sports is just Newcastle, ours include a miniature national comp, we have the Kanga cup soccer tournament, which is better than the Newcastle jets, yes we are the mighty Canberra crowd, we are making our city so proud, we have better stuff, like sports to suit all walks of life, as well as having the best flower show in the world, called Floriade, how many flower shows have people performing songs at them the way we do, and February has the Multi cultural festival, so let's celebrate the 100 years of Canberra, we ain't shy, the rest of Australia, just thinks their the best.
The end

the cyber bully said sorry to cover up, so does the weird kid


you see there was this man named Robert Delneath who was really bad, and he liked to

pick on vulnerable people, like taking their lunch money to try and prove a point with the

families of the world that he means business, and he has this phoney sorry which always follows

first of all, Robert picked on Harry jacobs by bullying him and making him really sad that

nobody likes him and then he bullied Ben Mather who was really scared of him and said how

about we make a truce, i give you my lunch now and you never hassle me again but Robert

was confused because that is not how it works, you see he said he was the king and deserves everything

and if you don’t give me your lunch, I will punch you, got it, and Ben was really scared and said leave me alone

i am a family person, the only people i like in my life are people who are nice to my family and Robert said **** your

stupid family, ok, you give me your lunch right now, ok and Ben ran away from him but the problems will never go away

cause Robert has friends in high places and track Ben down any tick of the clock and after that he said, Ben, no your not

a family person, I am not leaving you alone till you understand that you are a hooligan, ya know a no hoper like me but Ben

said no, i am not a no hoper, i am one stretch of the canvas a better person than you.

Robert said ok go home, but i will hassle you again, and don’t forget Mather, I never get caught, so you have to co operate

and then there was Mark Kenneth who hardly went out much and his brother was a real adventure lover and because of that

Robert was enrolled himself himself in the same school as Mark, decided to pick on him by taking his lunch, saying you are

a stupid little ******* circus monkey and Mark said my family are really nice to me and they will protect me, but none of that

came out, actually Mark was too scared to say anything and kept looking at Robert and Robert and his mated said what are you looking at, Turk

and picked on him for a long time, you see Mark wanted this man to leave him alone but didn’t have the heart to say anything to him

because Robert tried to tell him to shut up, and Mark was about to say, Nobody tells Mark Kenneth to shut up, but none of that came out

and he remained looking at Robert, making him feel very uncomfortable, but Mark just sat there watching him trying to think that he really thought

Robert was cool and he didn’t want cool people bullying him so instead of saying that either, he said nothing remaining lookling at him

in a queer sort of a way and then when Mark went home he told his parents and the next day Mr Kenneth became the the big man and actually

said, LEAVE MY SON ALONE,  and Robert said i am trying to but he is looking at us in a queer way, we need him to understand that kids are cool

and Mr  kenneth  was worried about his families safety so he got a job offer in Wisconsin and moved there and when he arrived there Mark started going out

and was trying to think about a way to protect himself better because what Robert posted on Face book that there is a queer starer coming to the USA

and what was happening was a hole lot of situations like a kid saying your like us man, i want o fight you, and another group of thugs locked Mark up in the

the store room in his class, and some kids ****** into a fruit box bottle and gave to Mark to drink which really upset Marks father and also some poor kids

kept on ribbing him for money, by throwing his wallet all over the classroom and when he thought his peers were finally going to leave him alone,

then the voices started happening in Marks head, Kidnap kids take a kid and lock him in the cage, which forced a situation with a portable toilet which was

there for the workmen, of the putting together of gas in the street and Mark wanted to lock every kid in this toilet, one by one, and then the kidnap voices

really drove him crazy, but he tried to play basketball and bowling as well as go to see the Green Bay Packers play, yeah this was realy radically awesome

for him but then he went to the Wisconsin local fruit market and ******* a boy to the toilet, and that was where, Mark had to settle down, getting kids back makes you

the bully and Robert must be dead or sitting in his house laughing at the crazy Mark Kenneth and then Mark thought drinking was his solace but he started really fighting

his dad t stick up to him, but it turned out that Mr Kenneth was really scared of his son Mark, he was really scared for his safety because of the way the young dudes

teased him because Mark was staring at them, never wanted to accept his apology because he thought he wanted the teasing to come back, and Mark was mugged outside the

Green Bay Packers football club after watching cake perform, and lost his house keys and his wallet and some ******* bashed him but let him go after Mark was appearing to tough for him

and after all that Robert said I am Robert Delneath world famous cyber bully, I NEVER LOSE, ****** Mark, you see Robert planed the voice in his head, saying he wasn’t a nerdy character

just try and beat us, I have the world at my fingertips, heh heh heh

The kidnapping of Brian Allan


You see Brian Allan decided to stay out all night because to his eyes his family were too boring and he went out and teased all the conservative men and yeah they were upset from what Brian was saying about them, they decided they don't wanna be conservative anymore and planned to kidnap Brian and lock him in the basement of a school, and then these men decided to take a few other kids with him, and every hour on the hour, the kidnapper would
Come down and push Brian and the kids down. Right to the ground
And then the kidnapper would say
You kids are going to suffer like ******* and Brian managed to get free and tried to dig his way out but fat chance, cause it became an
Impossible feat as the kidnapper came back in three him in the panel van and said you are going to die tonight. You will never see anybody
That you liked ever again and Brian
Was scared but he knew he believed
In previous lives but he really didn't want to die from this kidnapping and
He said let me go, why don 't give me back to the kids, they were having fun teasing me, but the kidnapper said. No mate your not
Getting teased you are my kidnap
Victim and I will make you suffer like hell, cause you are from the old fogie family and buddy you are still like us
And while you think that we are adults to kids when we don't need to be, you will stay with the kids till you
Learn the error of your ****** ways
And before Brian Allan could scream very loud, the gag was put tightly around his mouth and Brian and those kids were held captive there for years and years as they went by
And Brian was trying to say, I thought you were treating me like a little cool kid, to keep me away from
Adult worries and the kidnapper who
Claims he can only read Brian Allan's
Mind and said I am not ya fucken daddy buddy and then the kidnapper said, I have kidnapped Brian Allan away from being a different kind of kid, you see you are too shy Brian to be a actually family person, just hang around being kidnapped with the kids in this dungeon and mate you are way cooler than your family, they ain't getting kidnapped but you are
Yeah I have Brian Allan with the kids
Never ever ever to be an adult and
Brian Allan and the kids were struggling to get out and this forced the kidnapper to come in with his rifle and ready aim fire but Brian managed to get free and said. Would
You please let me and the kids go from your clutches buddy and the kidnapper yelled with a loud voice
Neh you kids are with me forever
You will never ever be good enough to be one of the young dudes and the kidnapper said I am one of the young dudes, you see kids I have kidnaped you guys to make me one of the young dudes and then as Brian Allan tried to get out the kidnapper put a Hand around Brian Allan's mouth saying you are no longer like us, man, I am anyway ok
And then after 6 hours from then, Brian Allan got free and untied the kids and they carried sticks to bash the kidnapper if he destroyed this little escape plan and they managed to get out of the cave and ran to the nearest bus stop and caught the bus home and the kidnapper tried to look for the kids one of the kids fdther, who was a hunter gunned the kidnapper down and killed him and
This fdther was let off with a suspended sentence because he was protecting his son
And Brian Allan wanted to change his life from that day and then after
4 weeks that kidnappers son who was worst than his father kidnapped
Brian Allan and kept him locked
Up in a cage at the local zoo, with the ferocious lions and Brian Allan couldn't escape, actually Brian Allan found it hard to get out and the duct tape was put really right around his
Mouth and Brian Allan was thinking this kidnapper was going to let him die and the kidnapper said, no Brian
I ain't going to **** ya, the ferorious
Lion is going to eat ya up while you
Are tied to this stake and then the kidnapper said heh heh heh heh heh
I have Brian Allan snatched forever

halloween kids



I am a man who loves halloween yes i think it’s cool

you trick or treat through the streets, oh yeah

asking for lollies and bobbing for apples

yeah that sounds so rad to me

you see you sing songs like monster mash

and flying purple people eater and you eat people everywhere

and you hate when dr frankenstein says you are doomed sunshine

and then you played the jaws theme to scare away the dudes

party party party oh yeah, this will be pretty cool

you see hearing the sounds of the ghosts of halloween and

the big fierce dracula

and the monsters do their dash, yeah that sounds so cool

and each adult gives sweets to each kid, yeah mate ****** yeah

you see on the eve of halloween, dr micheals comes around

to say, you are a **** and a monster, yeah, you need a nice cold budweiser beer

then in the middle of the day your kids come in the bar

and show you all the candy they have found

yeah there was a lot

you see good old dracula said back to me

yeah, these kids are devious and cunning

and the great dr frankenstein said kids, we have to party with them

kids, you see we have tom and george and simon and Ben

kids we can’t have this holiday without them oh no we can’t

kids kids kids kids

kids, the party is on for young and old

you see these kids have heard every story ewer told

kids need more, but they don’t except it no

kids kids kids

kids are the reason why we celebrate this day

you see people dress up in consumes all over the USA

kids aren’t happy when the night ends oh no

they just keep the parents being tired and weary oh yeah oh no

kids the day is great for them

kids  the adults are trying to break every record that is meant

kids need to explain to these blokes that they are uncool

kids kids kids

you see kids, i see the devil with his fork

kids i see blackbeard the pirate in the body of a dork

kids the wicked witch is the biggest problem child

kids kids kids

kids can the adults steel the kids candy

kids can the adults steal is while singing yankee doodle dandy

kids is it possible  that the candy is theres oh yeah

kids kids kids

happy halloween dudes and dudelttes

i am a muck around from 9 am to 11.50 pm kind of guy


you see there are few things i hate in life

but one thing is falling asleep in the middle of the day

and staying up at night, i hate that, i hate that all so very much

you see i prefer to do my tapestry, even if i look lazy

i still prefer to do my tapestry during the day

because it’s much easier to sleep after midnight

so what if people are laughing at my old mates theory

if you go to bed early you can turn into a pumpkin

mind you i don’t want to be forced, by the force to go to bed

but as long as i get my creativity done, i don’t really care

you see staying up past midnight is so kids stuff

i want my medication to make sure i don’t do that

for me, if i stay up after midnight, i would be a hooligan

and i am not a hooligan, i am a family person

sometimes i sleep on the bed

sometimes i sleep on my chair

but i sleep better after midnight

i had fun being with my mates as a kid

i just want this whole forcing me to sleep, or stay awake to stop

i am a 46 year old man now, i need my beauty sleep

and despite that i like to muck with the young dudes

i am 46, i have spurs in my feet, and fungal affected toes

i want to forget about the bad stuff i did and take it out through creativity

i don’t want to take old lady nanna naps or be an old drunk in the club

i am an artist and a writer and a youtube entertainer

and i want to move on with my life

i still like heavy metal, but i don’t like the trouble that surrounds it

i still like sport, but i ain’t into playing that either

i am hearing my old mates voice trying to get me to stat up all night with him

that is one thing i don’t want to do, in life you need your sleep

i find youtube is better than foxtel, i watch it from 9.00 am to 11.50 pm

then i go to bed, after i do my youtube party show, if it is the weekend

so stop the force telling me to sleep all day and stay up all night

i don’t do that anymore, i am reformed to being a family person

a real christmas man, i love carols nights and christmas tree lightings

i do enough, stop trying to keep me up all night, i am reformed now

never to stray away from family life a gain

for each and every day of the year

i celebrate the day that changed the world

the day that mary rode in on a donkey

and when jesus christ was born, thanks to cronus

this all took place, oh yeah it did

in the town of bethlehem

and i jumped up and said these words saying

i am the christmas man the christmas man

always talking about christmas even if it’s late May or early Jan

i have my elves make gifts to keep the kids amused

from george mc, lory to billy bob hughes

i am the christmas man the christmas man

i watch the adelaide christmas pageant every year

as well as the disney parade shocks the world each year

i watch the lighting of the canberra tree

and gather at stage ’88 for the great carols sing, can’t ya see

i watch the TV for the carols in the domain, and occasionally i head out there

and nothing beats christmas eve like sitting with family watching the carols by candlelight on channel 9

and i watch movies like deck the halls and polar express and the santa claus too

i listen to carols on the christmas radio stations on tune in radio

i am the christmas man the christmas man

i celebrate christmas differently to others, cause i am the almighty christmas man

i go to school carols nights, and i enjoy them a lot

seeing all the kids sing the carols that everybody knows and loves

i used to play santa claus at a local op shop ya see

and at the end of each year, i went home to celebrate christmas with family

ya see i am the christmas man the christmas man

i celebrate christmas all year round, because it’s fun

and i buy presents are a pair of hoppalong boots and a pistol that shoots

is the wish for janice and jen and dan

robots that can talk and go for a walk is what freddie and ben want

and mum and dad can hardly wait for school to start again

you see as you give that pistol that shoots my love my pal my sweet

make sure it’s a water pistol, to squirt water all over your bext mates new jacket

i am the christmas man the christmas man

all year i am the christmas man

i dress up in my red and white suit and say

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT

FROM CANBERRA’S VERY OWN CHRISTMAS MAN

merry christmas dudes