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I have never ran,  or burned beyond
any safe haven,
And your wit was lonely at times
In lost ripped things

Which in the end, forgot me.
Because  I cannot return out of spite

You're afraid  
And you've striven
Although I myself have finished

You braved always strong by strong
And myself?
I acted.
(And resurfaced, screaming because I loved)

Her wispy memories
And your wistfulness drowned me at times

But I still remembered and stood
Lost, and very much torn

As the wonderful  fought
The tainted forgot
Always reaching

Because nothing
Which we are
Blurred at the edges
And it continues breaking when you're gone

Your heart is hardened
But I can still cry

Because whose really the one who is aloud to be called strong?

I listened to you with a  giving heart
Even though at times what you said was  foreign,
And you laughed, clever and bitter

With each slur of the tongue

(I do not wish anymore.)

What is it about you that reached
and understood; everything and nothing
Not the stains of your heart in all its  lonesome
But still it continued to be full of everything frightening.

You're still so high, and it's dark up there isn't it?
I tried one of those mad lib poem things, where you enter a bunch of adjectives and verbs and all that.

This is what came up.

I tweaked it of course and made it flow better.

I really like how it came out.

It's confusing, and at times sounds like I have no idea what I'm talking about.

But that's love isn't it?
 Jun 2013 Johnnie Rae
Cali
you played me like a mandolin,
striking notes like broken glass
in the space between your wayward sheets.
your hands were my compass,
your eyes the Adriatic Sea-
and I plunged into the depths
like an albatross,
fawning over wide open spaces
and beautiful colors.

yes, you played me like a symphony,
my body ebbing and flowing
in ghastly syncopation.
notes like honeysuckle and lilac
coursing through my bloodstream-
capillaries to venules to veins to the vena cava
and straight on into my heart.

and you'd be ecstatic to know
that I haven't heard such a haunting refrain
since you went away.
 Jun 2013 Johnnie Rae
mads
When tossing a coin that'll choose for me my life,
My grandfather spoke...
It was a quiet yet monumental sentence
"Be the journalist of a dying race"
My brain melted away in thought
I didn't look if the coin was heads
Or tails; I let it fall on its side.
I let the air go stale and choke my lungs.
In that moment my life slowed to one thought
my grandfather is the most intelligent gentleman to ever grace this earth and look how the world repays him.
Give him health or give me death.
Let him sip upon immortality
Let him tell, but not force his views on others for hundreds of years to come
But do not let him suffer in the chains of our race.
Do not let any of us suffer any more.
 May 2013 Johnnie Rae
brooke
i will bloom
in your hands
if you let me.
(c) Brooke Otto
 May 2013 Johnnie Rae
Ben
when boy met girl
the world shook
the sky held it's breath
the sea swelled then ceased
when boy kissed girl
time did stop
boy's heart beat then burst
boy's eyes closed but saw
when girl left boy
boy sat still
and stared at wall
and stared and stared and stared
till boy was naught but bones and ash
when boy was gone
the earth grew still
the wind picked up
the waves rose to crash
time went on...
but boy's heart was dead
eyes food for worms
the love I felt had left
the boy I was slept six feet down
You're a beautiful mystery clad in gorgeous enigma.
You're poetry that looks good in a skirt.

There's an orchestra on your tongue, playing the sound of your voice like a melody I can't forget,
matching the tempo of the drums in my heart
and the broken strings of my violin compliments.

You are a notebook, a yearbook, a sketchbook, a burn book,
every facet of you written in swirling cursive,
rhymes and famous signatures snaking between cinnamon hair and cleverness.

You are a pen running out of ink,
bleeding dry in Barnes and  Noble Moleskin journals,
but that's okay because I have more ink,
and you can borrow whatever you want from me--
store it in the heart you stole if you're bored enough to hunt my words for the pieces.
You have the key already.

You're the first dream of the boy too scared of nightmares to sleep again.

You are the taste of honey and cigarettes on the lips of the first girl that boy ever kissed,
because she was a rebel and he needed a hero
who wore boots instead of Mary-Janes
and band t-shirts instead of blouses.

You are the rose he drew when he was bored,
an outline with potential,
mysterious, entrancing, incomplete,
not yet ablaze with the red of desire
because he was never good at finishing things.
You are a dictionary. Your picture isn't just under "beautiful."
It's under "dangerous" and "witty" and "myth"
because Medusa bowed at your feet next to James Bond and Edgar Allan Poe,
and you're too good to be true anyways.

You are a poem, a telltale heart beating inside a lesson in vengeance,
temporary only because nothing gold can stay.
You've walked past where the sidewalk ends (certainly the road less traveled by)
and come back far more darling than any buds of May.

(You are the paperback novel he read under the covers,
the flashlight only bright enough to show paragraphs,
and every new page unique in shape and form
while the text remains the same.

You are the raw words read aloud by the daring poet,
standing beneath midnight moon,
the power of the throne,
the breath of a whispered promise falling upon the ear,
the warmth of kisses on the cheek,
the passion of all hope there ever was in trust and truth.

You are the fire in lightning,
the sparkle in the snow and the glitter in the rain,
the fierceness of the wind and the gentle, soothing peace,
the blazing chill of winter and the roar of summer's heat.)

But you're still a mystery.
A beautiful,
beautiful
mystery.
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"
 May 2013 Johnnie Rae
R
If I was gay..
would it really that bad?
I mean,
I'd adopt a few kids, maybe even save their lives.
I'd show the world that I'm not evil, actually, I'm pretty nice..
I volunteer sometimes too.
But, that's not the point,
is it?

Kids are so afraid to be themselves and
you all wonder why.
Want to know?
Because of all the constructive critisism
we get from the second we walk out of
our rooms.
No wonder my stepbrother doesn't want to
leave his room or
I don't want to leave school;
They're safe havens from
******* like you.
It beats.
It pumps.
It doesn't feel the same anymore.
I've changed.
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