take me to Bukowski's grave,
we can drink,
and talk about our past lovers
who left bad tastes in our mouths.
The ones who's clumsy hands,
left bruises on our,
fragile bodies,
we were treated so badly,
we did not deserve
any of the sadness
we did not deserve,
what we felt.
we poked needles
into our skin,
and injected unworthy people,
into our veins.
we were not whole.
we gave lovers parts of us,
we needed to keep.
parts of ourselves,
we thought we could never
get back
and then,
we
met
each
other.
and with you,
i am whole.

We are more than the bodies we occupy
when I die,
flowers clovers and grass
will grow from my body
to make the earth pretty pretty
And to give homes to other life
Bodies are not temples
bodies are homes to souls and brains and poetry
My body is worn and torn and aching
not pure not godly not perfect
it is none of these things.
i am none of these things.
countless times i scream at the sky
"why am I sad?
why?
the earth is filled with so many great things
And here I am sad sad sad"
throwing my body onto pavement
because i felt like i could never build a home in it.
yet it still housed my soul my brain my poetry
body, forgive me.
i am so much more than you
but yet i still struggle to see myself
as a separate being.
feel like i am just you
just a body
yes,
you have carried me through heartbreak
made me get out of bed
held my heart even when i felt it was breaking
let my hands move to lovers, to worn paper, to old rusty shower knobs.
but
my soul, my brain, myself was the reason i let you perform any of those actions.
body, what you did was not involuntarily.
it was me.
it was my brain.
it was my soul.
it was my poetry.
it was all me me me

sometimes......................
I take one too
many
pills

because I don't want to think.

I don't need to feel.

We were dancing on the love floor
It was such a fine romance, but as it was getting started
You picked up  someone else
So my heart never had a chance to recover
It was put high upon the shelve
And when I had a moment to look at what happened
You danced away with somebody else

The past is safe where it belongs,
Gathering dust between my brain and skull.
It has no business in the present.
Recent publications are now on the shelves,
Sharing space with crisp HD shots.
Keep it from invading tomorrow,
Which belongs to the kids,
Who'll have their own burdens and joys
That need no comparisons with past lives.
Their present is in the forefront.
We'll be rightly blamed for this unpredictable world
Of warm Gulf streams, war posturing and threats.
Troubled places belong in the past, safely stored,
With warning labels,
Away from the twelve year olds.