As a timepiece is under the auctioneers hammer
He repeats the words, going, going, gone, in his usual daily grammer
For we as people are not set in stone
The dinosaurs ruled but now all that is left is bone
If your drink is half empty or always half full
No matter what, no one can escape our final curtain call
And all those pills you take can only delay our inevitable ending
Go make those last apologies, to a life beyond now mending
But to end on a high, some of us really did live in our prime
Now to watch that clock tick down, we had a pretty good time
So if you think you've been low and often down trodden, fear not
You will always be a legend my son, and yes,
Gone,
But never forgotten

JJB

Sometimes I look and its quite hard to tell
If Thomas was made a boy from it's creators at Mattel
As my daughter likes to drape him in a ***** black dress
Whilst Bluey and Bing both look on, quite simply unimpressed
His plastic heart now pounding, like the bell that is Big Ben
What have you done to me, from Stagg onto a Hen
From GI Joe onto a wide eyed dough
What places can I travel, to avoid the dollys that I know
Please take away this blouse and redress my leather jacket
Whack back on my 501's, because, as a girl,
I really could not hack it,
Sorry

JJB

If it all just ended now, I think I would be happy
Not stuck in some retirement home, surrounded by adult nappies
If I won the lottery, I'd be a real big spend winner 
Flash cars, piano bars, and no doubt a terrible sinner
If I went out fishing and didnt catch a single thing
I'd treat myself to cod and chips, just smiling at what couldve been
If I happened to be dating Claudia Schiffer or any supermodel
I'd wake up from my dream and order a blow up version from Yodel
If my cat spoke perfect English, I'm sure he'd swear like a sailor
He'd be in every film as the next best thing, I'd love to see the trailer
If,
If,
If,
Life is a daily grind of ifs and buts
As we crawl through our days with the bruises and cuts
Sometimes its good with an ending of lust
But until that day, it's knowing who and if we really can trust,

If.

JJB

What came before, said no one clearly
An explosion of life, the big bang theory
A chasm of chaos, as out come the stars
Planets and black holes,
up pop Venus and Mars
Galaxies are formed in a matter not ever known by man
As they stretch into infinite and further if they can
Are we here all by chance,
or is there a higher, godlike power
Throwing out orders since the start of time, from its heavenly, overseeing tower
All we can do is wonder in time,
until that day we finally die
And to think,
if we really get told,
after we say,
our final,
goodbye

JJB

Her eyes, iris blue
Instant love, how could this be true
Shining like a light, swimming in throws
Let love shine blossom, as rapid karma grows
My former misdemeanors now a thing of the past
As we lay here under moonshine, on this damp luscious grass
Memories of cruelty now all just forgotten
The me of old is history, a man to the core just rotton
Because I have changed and this is all down to you
As love at first sight is a thing of tales,
but really,
can be true.

❤️

JJB

Faze me
Paraphrase me
Rely on me
Deny on me
Misquote me
Then vote for me
Have dinner with me
Be a sinner with me
Ten-Pin bowl with me
Play 8 ball pool with me
Rule the world with me
But never forget,
to act the fool with me

JJB

Every picture tells a story
Whether it's romance, betrayal or of nothing that quite bores me
Every picture tells its tale
If sat by a river and up comes a stranger
Just fishing in peace, never in any danger
Starts with a tale of love and onto how he betrayed her
It's not my business son, now packing up my pike lure
For listening to some random bloke in the pub, spouting off after too many Stella's
Is almost the same as chatting on the Tube, to some random fella
But nobody beats the intricate details told by one, that man my Granddad
The original, and the only,
Storyteller

JJB

We all have the odd car written off
But people can do the same, and mark you as a right off
Fussy down to something you said
Or a letdown in the sack on someone else's bed
A change in look or you've put on a bit of weight 
Not for me anymore, as you move onto her best mate Kate
You learn a language together, first German and then French
Sacre Bleu! Mon amie, not tonight love, you can sit on the bench
You prefer your tea when she just sups her coffee
Liverpool forever and then shes a bleeding toffee
A phonecall is more personal than some random text
Message away with no response, as she clearly didnt give two fecks
So that was that and just a waste of time
As perserverance is a key even if the alley is blind
But some wanted loves were never meant to be
As I gaze from the clifftop, just watching the swirling of the sea.

Write Off

JJB

Happy alone in a world of my own
Not tuning into the everyday tones
Parents in the playground always with a groan
All cars cost too much, on lease hire or by loan 
Settled and mellow in these God given bones
Just turn the noise right down on your latest iPhone
Because, and I repeat,
I'm happy, and don't want to say it again,
thats just me,
I'm happy,
Happy Alone

#pleaseleavemealone

JJB

There are times in life when we just need a chat
A laugh, some fun, not always a bit of that
To pick up the phone and know they'll always be there
Sometimes leads to nookie, just to show you they care
As we all need that friend who answers a midnight text
Meet up in the morning, a coffee at Costas inside Next
For life is to short to carry the weight of the world
Knock on their door, release you silly worries,
go see your,

Go-to-Girl

JJB

So, I heard you want to be Middle-Class?
Jet-setting in the sun with an afternoon siesta
Not Karen from accounts still driving her 05 Fiesta
Starts to read The Telegraph, not the red top Daily Star
Cocktails at lunch in trendy Morrelos, not the 2 for 1 deal in a Wetherspoons bar
Credit card explosion on the latest pair of Nikes
You wouldn't catch me shopping in Primark, go on, take a hike
Possibly a change in friends,
names like Beatrice, Bijou, and Arrabella
Not the kids on the street, dressed in 90s trackies, still listening to old Paul Weller
No, a change is needed if I want to climb the ladder in this world
A Waitrose loyalty card and sandwiches from Marks,
now a proper Middle-Class girl

Middle-Class Me

JJB

The Turkish barbers are moving in
We've left it too late, better take it on the chin
Like sharks circling blood with that killer fin
Soon to be tarred trash as it falls into the bin
What has this once great land now sadly become
As I count down wearily from my finger to my thumb
And how the WOKE brigade have dampened our cheeky fun
Whilst migrants land daily and straight on the run
I repeat so sadly
Oh, my England 
I say goodbye my old chum
Oh my Lord, what have you become...
Goodbye England

JJB

We fly together
Like birds of a feather
Loving you even in mention
Never an ounce of tension
We have been through the good and the rough
As you fit just like a missing glove
No words could ever be enough
As you are my only
One love
❤️

JJB

A tip of the cap
Just a nod of the head
It doesn't take much to say thank you
To lift a finger from the wheel
Appreciation for waiting by the field
Thank you for letting me pass
Press that elevator button
To hold the doors a second longer just means nothing
Puts a spring in the step of those about their day
As love can come in the strangest of ways
From putting out the bins to mowing your neighbour's lawn

Thank you
It doesn't take much
❤️

JJB

We obviously know our child is the best
As they roll out the minions all known as the rest
Either waving hello or goodbye on their daily arrange
As renting them out to others always feels slightly strange
But it's how we get by on the monthly wage
Every parent wanting the daily rundown
What foods did they eat and a list of frowns 
How many wee's and hows many twos
A polite way of asking if they had even done a poo
As you park up eying all the other cars
What job do they do
I wonder what they earn
The gossip whilst waiting with so much to pry and learn
Some you smile with as you secretly suss them out
Do they know so-and-so who is married to the pub lout
Some of the stories you hear whilst waiting for your child
Village gossip when its hot and sometimes slightly mild
When nursery is done onto the next you'll miss this daily chatter
As long as your kid is healthy and strong,
then thats all that really matters

JJB

A time of life where the minutes just stop
Adjusted to a newly set clock
Counting down the people you once loved
Deleting the ones you've smoked to their stub
Social media has served its cause
And to those I used, you have my applause
But let's just call it a day and extract your cries
For you've had your time and keyboard sighs
I quit
My last goodbye
Adios
Sayonara
Breaking All Ties

JJB

First, we had Blackberry, whilst wearing Fruit of the Loom
Then that died out, time to change that mobile tune
Branches of technology picked the Apple from this technical tree
Do I stick to what I know, like choosing Chedder over Brie
The rivals now raise their heads, which one do I avoid
Apple, MacBook, there is no choice, I'm starting to like Android 
Macbook has the better look
But all that difference has no hook
And Apple is, you get what you see
But I'm afraid, its really just not me
Fine if you like the same and work for the corporate buck
But I'm different man, and I really don't give a...!
Due to personal opinion I like to swerve the trend
I'll turn right while you go left and brave those who offend
For my robot speaks the truth and not sways to the nearest breeze
As I'll bark a different hark away from your everyday tree
But if you really want to speak and have that personal touch
Then go on over, ring that bell, as hey, it doesnt take that much
Friendship is a thing that isnt that hard to grapple
As we all laughed and got on well, way before,
The Android or the Apple

JJB

From Adam and Eve
To Sharon and Steve
We are life
Amoebae that floats in water
To a fish who first swam for you
We are life
Flying with grace up from the ground
Then onto the dodo extictly found
We are life
Moving on through one hundred million years
Onto the pub and sipping some beers
We are life
Progression
Regression
Stagnation
Optimism
Someday we will travel the stars
And meet others a million miles afar,
as,

We Are Life

JJB

I'm starting to get the jokes of old
Of the mother-in-law as its all starting to unfold
To be ignored by every word you speak
Living with a curtain twitcher up and down her nosey street
Ideas that you want to share and be heard
But ignored daily like that last forgotten ****
Knock-knock on your PVC front door
Two Jehova's witness now welcome to my floor
I'll listen and chat to any old made-up spiel
Just nice to have a talk and chat, without a handshake deal
But to be passed by and blatently ignored
Is not what I signed up for on that registry floor
Life is to short to be passed by in the street
As I'll walk to a different drum,
my sound,
my soul,
my beat

JJB

I didn't come here to ****** you into bed
I came here to pump you full of lead
Those six suckers lying there now dead on the street
Wouldn't have to be so if they'd jumped my final beat
For this little town sat here in the Idaho heat
Didn't need no trouble from these two cowboy feet
As I'll **** any mother with a price on their head
A loaded gun, tobacco gum and a pistol full of lead
I'll track you down, tie you up and only take mercy from the sun
And when that bounty is filled, I'll hand you over to the paying one
Cos' I aint no cowboy set on life down on the ranch
I'm a mean son of a gun dealt nothing but his stance
Making money the only way he know best
A ransom, a fee, brought back dead or alive
But mostly, with a bullet in their chest

JJB

I will walk to the beat of my own drum
If you want me there then I'll probably come 
Having a mind that is no better than yours
I will do my own thing not the tourist tours
I'll turn right when the crowd turns left
Probably for the wrong but I know what is best
I'll have a hairstyle thats always been on trend
As you'll have whats cooking and to never ever offend
They'll all have a starter but I'll wait until desert
Drink until I'm stupid and fall headfirst in the dirt
But I'd rather sit back and watch the world go by
Shorts on with my flip-flops, sod the shirt and tie
Just lounging in the sun whilst I top up my golden tan
Because I am me and you be you,
as I'll always be,

My Own Man

JJB

Reading that title I suppose you think I'm on about the garden
No-Siree, this type lingers in grass but never without a pardon
How did they know of all things that were supposedly secret
When half the world now knows without putting their foot in it
Only an hour has passed since they secretly broke the news
An internal affair between the management and who they do choose
But one has the gossip and clearly loose lips
This kind of behavour can drown a sinking ship
So who is this individual who is clearly a pain in the ****
As nobody likes this kind of behaviour in present company
Put simply,
A
Grass

JJB

We see them and think a thought
Is that really what you sought?
She is tanned, tight top, an old fashioned Dolly Bird
He's just scruffy, unshaven, wearing a top you have never heard of
But whatever is your thrill, than thats what fits the bill
And then there are those who wear their matching jackets
With way to much money, probably a horse, shop in Hackett
These are the strangest of beings
In their partner themselves they are seeing
No mould needed to shape their prey
Butch, brazen and depending on the mood, a bit gay
For no seed is planted to grow our exact tree
In most cases its a matter of what will be will be
If you see a looky-likey of what deems to be yourself
Look somewhere else please, further along the shelf
Why date a replica of you and dressed in the same fashion
You may as well kiss the mirror or marry a shop mannequin
But hey, its not my call to who or what you might be kissing
Just to know you read my notes first,
and in future, you might just listen

Odd Couple

JJB

Sometimes I just don't fit in
As I shake my head and leave it to next of kin
A new world order where we all obey the rules
Preferring the good days when Britania was seen as cool
A ***** joke was laughed and not thought twice
When we didn't have to think before adding a touch of spice
But now we cannot offend without upsetting the faint and the WOKE
Was it something I said? something I dreamt.
Oh, to extinguish this 'woe be me' smoke
Wear a mini skirt and have a flirt
Wiggle those hips and do your shirk
It's no danger to those who can't keep pace
They'd only ***** about you behind your face
For its all coming back again when it really mattered
To be told you look nice and to feel a little flattered
As the modern world can adapt to the past
It's just a case of perseverance to make the good times last

JJB