"Have you actually tried walking?"
"You people amaze me"
"What. So you can't feel ANYTHING?!"
"Can you, you know, still have (mouthed), ***?"
"Lucky you. I'd love to sit down all day!"
All true, (mouthed) unfortunately.

JJB

I have a complex history of destruction and rebuilding
A fragile take on man who often needs self healing
For I am not a castle that can take on any more wars
As many a battle I have had that needs no more scars
Alive with insults thrown at a skin that is close to breaking
Just a little love is all I need and a heart I would love to take in
For an age comes when you need no more ****** battles
A laugh, a drink with no time to think is a life on which I could settle
To watch the sun set without a thought and to live life on our pension
As time is to short to always comprimise, who needs a life sentance?

JJB

Excuse me dear for acting queer
It was a fate I was triumphantly born with
Through shadows and lies I prefer his thighs
To those my mother bore birth did give
Some stubble
Man trouble
A daily not monthly cause of my mood
Rainbows shining
My love is not hiding
The chemists for Veet to rub me down smooth
I can still rub shoulders with the best of men
Down my local where they suspect I change gone ten
But I do love a cocktail after a few cheeky beers
It's just the way I am ***, all this, hiden show
Go let it out!

Acting Queer

JJB

To think of how we were different
A trip down memory lane that merges with the current
Preference not knowing of what was to come
Not being frowned upon for a bit of fun
We were out to have a good time
Stick by the rules and have you home by nine
It was a time when people seemed a lot more true
Unlike that time you cheated in the ladies loo
That is why I prefered you back then
When you was the original, the honest,
Yesteryou

JJB

Dad always said you're either a MOD or a Rocker
Well after a few years of choosing I decided on the clobber
Pin stripe suit and a nice comfy parka
Not some grease monkey, slicked back hair, who looked like he'd not seen a bath yet
I preferred the music, the beat, the soul
They liked grit, the grind and the ***** rock and roll
And then came the final choice in which world you did bounce
Vespa, Lambretta or a Triumph to ride, unannounced
So did I look the hard nut sat on my BSA
Or do I look like Mr Cool, thinking I'm Mr Ace Face today
Trip's down to Brighton for a fight on the beach
Before having our breakfast at an all you can eat
Those were the days where you could really have a laugh
Then a trip back home, best have my tea and an early bath
Stick on an album by The Faces or The Who
Then up early for work, into town, first Clapham via Waterloo
When nothing too much mattered and the world just seemed easy
Now the odd word out of place sends the offended quite queasy

JJB

Classes
Segregation between the masses
I'm above you but only when it matters
Looking down my judgemental nose
Friends with those I must and those who I chose
A regular guy from my head to my toes
But we can be picky sometimes I suppose
So who are we to pick our circle of friends
The ones we ignore and the ones who we would lend
Those conversation to have and an ear to friendly bend
But some are translucent and to hell you silently send
As they disapear into nowhere and try to amend
We read our daily papers and some journos we agree
Some are spot on and have life down to a tee
Others are so WOKE we have to seethe
But that doesn't mean we are chosen on race
For those we love and who hits first base
It's an individual choice on who is chosen and down to taste
As we are surely past the colour of our skin and who sits on the bus
We judge on who we are, who we know, and who we trust
It will always fall down to a certain choice I'm afraid,
Them and us.

JJB

Welcome to my life, always stuck on tedium 
Every day, the same consistent grill setting, medium
The same hellos, goodbyes, and the taxman who we'll always be feeding them
Easter will be coming soon, chocolate already on the shelves
Christmas now been and gone, what do Santas helpers now do,
are they still known as elves?
Have a little dance, a little drink, even a swagger to the cheeky girls, (go on then, touch my ***)
Then that hangover tomorrow, carries on like a 3 day ton
Sweat it out, half hour on the x-ray bed, a cheap tan in the fake sun
Now to relax away from your life and let the bath run
As that's just it
Your life
My life
It's just life
All a bit of fun

JJB

Mr Bartholomew - it's unlikely you will ever walk again 

Hard-hitting
Forever sitting
A life too young for me to be fitting
Twenty-seven and I just swerved heaven
Who knows if it's a place I'd get in
We've all done naughty things
But not too much to dance nor sing  
From six foot five to me now hardly seeing
Now to contemplate me forever being
Self-evacuation, front and rear
Uncontrollable accidents, my biggest fear
The loss of real friends and those who can trend
An easy decision to make to those who wouldn't watch me mend
But life goes, Jeez does life roll on
My amazing wife and daughter who I adore
Who gave me fresh life and opened closing doors
But I won't go all soppy and repeat as a bore
For life is an adventure not a governed guided tour.

Life Goes On

JJB

Sat idle in my stand,
watching,
waiting,
on the rest of the band
A quiet wooden box of strings
Humble and shining, just ready to do my thing
They plod through the acoustics, oh such a bore
It's time to let rip baby, gimme some power chords!
As the hits keep coming, soon to take my bow
Let's deafen these crazed punters, let me start this row
As you thought that noise was Mr Marshall all at the wrong settings
Uh-uh dear listeners, it's my veins just over jetting
Pick me up you freak, finger me into some heavenly patterns
So let's rock,
let's roll,
and let this frustrated cut out do its feedback chatting

🤟🏼

JJB

From buying my first guitar
To watching strippers in the corner bar
So much can happen
In a street not that well known
A name change now The Broadway
Even this cannot change its sodden ways
Rileys now a place to lose weight
Some games I had when I'd lost my stake
The dive bars now a place to skin up
A Caribean twist with a Guinness to sup
Installing the refit to the Clipso hairdressers
To having a row with the fella who worked there
As to most it will always be the Harlequin cut through
But to us kids in the 90s it was a place of scandel and curfew

JJB

Think outside the box
What box?
The box with six trapped walls
Where the thoughts bounce back
Where you're thinking its a trap
But these walls are made to be climbed and jumped
Take a step back
Focus
Breathe
Get your head down and seize
Those wonderous dreams you know can prevail
The brain is a tale
From what can make come true
Pirates and bandits
That big fish you can land it
It is all inside and down to you
Imagination is key
For without where'd we be
All chasing tails and running in blind circles
So just think again
Putting paper to pen
Your mind can change the world once unleashed from its cage

JJB

Staring
Not caring
Of the words that are being said
Pondering
Just wondering
Of how he woke from his bed
Induced coma
That'll show ya
They all thought that you were dead
But nothing can stop me
Even that graceful old oak tree
That still stands and watches me in dread
As I now drive past her
This time slower, not faster
As we silently share that moment not said

JJB

They come, they go, they order what they know
Some dressed in hi-vis, pin stripe,
even those in miniskirts, hi heels with their toes on show
A hard night's graft, taken in from the draft
Five minutes they'll never remember
From the morning rush
Some late without a brush
A breakfast forgotten in the depths of hangover
Old biddies sit and chatter
The price of life now their natter
And their tea now costing a small fortune
But to socialise and talk
To just sit and then a walk
Is the highpoint to some people's day 😉

The Cafe

JJB

Stood alone in a field of ever change
The others seem to catch on and evolve
But to me I'm happy staying put, stuck in my ways, a little strange
Liking a risqué joke, a mild poke, a barrel now sadly broke
Words we now cannot use
But arise in slapstick, a rarely lit fuse, mosty after a wee drop of *****
Kids now think we are all the same skin
As if nothing happened in 10,000 years and its all thrown in the bin
And if you disagree, have a voice, have a choice, you now live in sin
For being told how to live is an everyday occurance
Speed limits, different cynics, all told to coinline with this BBC
For our thoughts are now banished, no longer to be free
And sadly, people are beginning not to see
That you do actually stand alone in life, leaning into the breeze
For we all are really,
just,

A Lone Tree

JJB

Watching the high street bustling by
I'm not sure if I'm disgusted, ill digested or just want to cry
The buildings, the streets, the people, all want to make me weep
The Turkish barbers, the tattoo parlour,
All just a front they must keep
Friends with carers, soon with pallbearer, a life they cannot lead alone
Sat on street corners, dealers with quarters, all nattering on their mobile phones
Most smoking a vape, different flavours to take
So many races I could not name
Nowhere to park
The place an old mask
Of a generation now mostly all gone
Just jump online
Amazons just fine
For those shoes to be dropped at my door
We just sit in our seats
No longer a heartbeat
Our old friend
The British High Street....

JJB

Taking your money doesn't give me anxiety
I'll keep scrounging from this inept society
The more I can get that just keeps fuelling me
And the drugs I get, oh, the varieties!

My kids don't even know I exist
Mostly a one-night stand out on the ****
Just mates of my dealer and ones of my sis
It starts with a sniff and then onto a kiss

Yet we breed them
We need them
To harbour our woes

We feed them
We house them
Just to keep us on our toes

We curse them
We nurse them
Not every good deed shows

And then we cloth them
Rarely dethrone them
As politicians, they hate to be exposed

That scrounger
On his sun lounger
Slurping Pina colada
In the sun where no one can harm you
Away from Kerry and the sniveling Garda
And Donal who wrongly barred you

The fingers I show you are now two
As I laugh at the times you said I'd never pull it through
Watching the locals just dancing in their tutu's
San Migual please Pedro and, of course, one for you!

Paddy Scrounger

JJB

Sat staring at my computer screen
(The monotone)
Wondering if this really is all a bad dream
(Feels like a lobotomy)
Work so dull I just want to scream
(Someone please clobber me)
My thoughts so dusty and dry
(Bus ride home, some hellish geometry)
Blueberrys grow through the side of the fence
(Free food from our Gods own apple tree)
But somebody please put me into that long sleep,
And out of my own failed misery

JJB

What's left at the bottom of your pint
The disguards, the mouthwash, the unwanted kerfuffle
Measured up to society
A load of ****** trouble
The majority queued at the job centre
The dreamers, the wash-ups, old Ken still clutching his Fender
Better off in a tidal wave
I really hate to tell you
But that's life and has been since day one
They come and go, these forgotten days of fun
Sometimes you have money, others you have none
But think big, think tall, better days will always come

JJB

15 days on the side of road
Nowhere to sleep since I left my home
I just need somewhere to dump my load
Kicking up dust with the frogs and toads
I just need some place to dump my load
No lights or bedding to call my abode
I just need somewhere to dump my load
No right move in stalemate mode
I just needed some place to dump my load
Not one PC could break this code
I just need someone somewhere to dump my load
And when, I finally figure out, this meaning, I'm froze
Please little darling, just let me dump my load!

JJB

This isnt a poem about a girl I once knew
Cos let me tell you man, there has been a few
As I have met many names as Sandy, Amy and those I have forgotton
And surnames not asked like Smith, Jones and McConnon
Goodbyes can also be said to streets I have lived
To my neighbours I once loved and those I'd like to seive
I'm writing this bard a bit to soon as I have still nowhere to go
Just looking at lottery wins in my dreams, to-and-fro
Would I head north or over to the greens of Ireland
Or back to where I grew up, Dorset and its Jurassic Sands
Would moving house make it harder on Wilf the cat
I'm sure he'd find a new place to prowl, they all have the odd rat
And driving up the A1, past the fighting metal zebras
Whilst missing the *** shop everytime, some stories to tell you
Looking up and seeing those birds of prey
Can see why they're are based here, the good old RSPB
But the pubs are closing one by one and now the Queens Head
If this keeps on happening, soon the town will be dead
So time to pick that fantasy house now on Rightmove
And say goodbye to Sandy,
with those fantasy millions, its hard to even choose....

JJB

An animal that we learnt to trust
Its cunning, its planning, a must
A lot of mammals are not a fan
But look at the potential after building that dam
The river now flows to a part of ruin
Let's celebrate this genius on the wood that they've been chewing
To build a habitat for this beast of some distinction
Who has made life for others without bragging on completion
Oh, and its also what men call their wife's nunny
Strange how words switch to mean something funny!

******

JJB

The love of difference is our strange attraction
I blew at maths and copied your fractions
Not caring if you are black, white, green or yellow
I rocked on guitar whilst you plucked that cello
With instruments like that we'd never start a band
Just laugh at our disparity whilst walking hand in hand
The cool kids loved you as I was just a mess
But you loved the way I sauntered, not trying to impress
Hey, why try and improve on whats never likely
Just hold stance, slip her the key, to the backdoor of what may be
Nobody said a word as they shared ice cream on the pier
Eastbourne had its gossips and those you regulary sneer
For she didnt drive and took the bus afar
As I souped up my Cosworth to be the fastest by far
Not a pill in sight as she didnt touch the stuff
Me overdosing on the A's and the B's then feeling kinda rough
Stroking her persian in her minimilist one bedroom flat
I fill mine with hoardings not room to swing her cat
But she laughs at what a state I can sometimes be in
For she is a keeper, a forgiver, overlooking my daily daft sins

Beautiful Differences

JJB

Love is the stupidest of things
Like crossing the road and beating the sound
Thinking its loose change but turns out to be pounds
Love is the daftest of things
When you sycronise in union on a song you both sing
To sharing sweets from the bag and pretending with a Haribo ring
Love is also a surprise at times
From trying a new curry after saying you would never change
Now its Katsu all the way as the taste is lovingly strange
Love is also a monopoly and can be sometimes testing
From that one lost sole you met one night on the bus
Now divorce papers all the way and wondering about the fuss
But love is what love is, be it starting with a but(t)
Measuring against the last and to see if your friends smile or tut
From going through the rounds to who makes the final cut
Love is what love is and not just some passing faze
Lets just hope you make the cut as we all have our funny ways

Love Is (Part II)

JJB

Sat, gathering thoughts
Those fish may come
Of which, I am not bothered

Silence, the will of Gods nature
No constant natter
Just the breeze and where it may take you

I'm not here to break any records
Just to escape
A rat race that pays lifes sectors

No WIFI, no buzz in my pocket
To switch life off
Drift away to another place where peace is mindset

My line, it starts to twitch
I smile and let it be one
Its just Gods nature, that made him scratch that itch

Be at one once sat alone
Think on events and where you can go
Then know you are king of life,
just sat by the river, on your throne.

The Fisherman

JJB

Costa and Starbucks are closing down our pubs
Now rubbing shoulders with those I hate, from the ones I used to love
No dartboard or billiards all playing our simple game
Now who has the latest Ipod or laptop, as they've just rushed from the train
A shout of Roger, Rihanna, down to this coffees going cold!
To paying over six pound a drink and not a care once sold
Company credit card all the way, no thought to the petty cash kitty
Looking up, the old pub tiles still grace the brick built wall, oh such a forgotten pity.

Last orders!

JJB

Dad always said you're either a MOD or a Rocker
Well after a few years of choosing I decided on the clobber
Pin stripe suit and a nice comfy parka
Not some grease monkey, slicked back hair, who looked like he'd not seen a bath yet
I preferred the music, the beat, the soul
They liked grit, the grind and the ***** rock and roll
And then came the final choice in which world you did bounce
Vespa, Lambretta or a Triumph in a way to announce
So did I look the hard nut sat on my BSA?
I'd rather look like Mr Cool, thinking I'm Ace Face today
Trip's down to Brighton for a fight on the beach
Before having our breakfast at an all you can eat
Those were the days where you could really have a laugh
Then a trip back home, best have my tea and an early bath
Stick on an album by The Faces or The Who
And up early for work, into town via Clapham then Waterloo
When nothing too much mattered and the world seemed easy
RAF target on my back, nice shiny shoes, that's how you'll see me.

JJB

Caring for the caring is a trait we should all be sharing
Be it a hug
A kiss
Or just a friendly pint for the craic
Their are some who have none and prey to have those back
This pandemic has hit the world hard
Dealt a costly hand to the weak and those in fear
But some have been angels who share a story with a friendly tear
So think of the few,
The help,
That lifeline belt
Who spoke those words that made you smile
For those are the ones who helped you fight on
And just take that extra mile

JJB

#Covid-19
#pandemic

200 million years since the last lot were here
AD,BC, not applicable
No religeon to now fear
For Earth has been through its toughest of showers
From the cosmos to the ice frosts
It slowly rebuilds its supernatural powers
As life as we once knew it
Steadily grows again from the ground
A third phenomenon now raises its heartbeaten head
To see what planet is left to be compound
What God of universal proportion could make this reoccur
Are they bored in their place of work
Twiddling their thumbs
Calculating their sums
Prodding with a fork, ideas of whats next, but mainly smalltalk
But something is now slowly growing
A breed to outdo the previous they had sewing
Life as they know it has a fresh new face
Something truly phenominal
To inherit this Earth and put life back in its place
Until that day
We continue to **** this planet of everything it has
Down to its very last natural fibre
From its oil and its wind and down to the sea
A home of now I could not, unfortunately, describe her

JJB

There is me
The Copper/The Nurse/The Firefighter/The man in black who drives that humble hurse
There is also me
The Mother/The Father/The Sister/The Brother/The off the clock non-decision maker
I'm paid to care
I'm afraid to even dare
You love me when I'm working
You see me hiding if not lurking
Always up the craic when on the beat
Always hiding away and crossing the street
For I am as two faced as you can get
So don't put your life in my hands or its something you might regret.

JJB