if it is not
my thoughts
that float through my brain-
it is the isolation
that drives me insane

The girl who was glass
with her heart torn in two
was afraid she would shatter
if she just dared to choose.

She cried till she slept--
it was all that she did,
until the day came along--
until she ran and she hid.

Her choice never made,
her mind still in thought.
As the townspeople worried,
she was found and then caught.

'Your fight has been fought,
your battle is done,'
the townspeople called
as the banged on their drums.

She wept and she moaned
as they yelled in her ears.
They told her to choose
but it would bring out her fears.

She said one single name
just one single word.
The townspeople gasped
and then came the birds.

They pecked at her eyes
and cracked her glass skin.
Then she knew that her fears
would finally win.

The girl who was glass
with her heart torn in two
was afraid she would shatter
if she just dared to choose.

How glorious it once was
My Wonderland
Singing flowers, unbirthday parties
And painting roses red
Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee
Laughing, playing jubilantly
White Rose
Beautiful, brave
Shy Violet
Strong, sweet
Hatter
Protective, playful
Gave hope, kindness, love
I grew older
Wonder fading
Until only madness remained
My dormouse hid in his little teapot
My Cheshire cat disappeared
The Queen of Hearts gave misery
Tied in a treacherous bow
The caterpillar tried to transform
Toxic, *****, fear
Beware the Jabberwock, my dear
He wants you for his bed
My love, the Hatter left me
One golden afternoon
Devoid of wonder
Doomed to ache
The White Rabbit came
And took me by the hand
To lead me from my once wondrous Wonderland
You’re late You’re late
Your future will not wait
No time to say “I love you, Goodbye”
You’re late You’re late You’re late

That moment when you realize,
nothing is worth it anymore
and that nobody cares if you're in pain,
they'll just knock you down a few more notches,
until you're kissing the dirt that was once under your feet,

That moment,
when your heart shatters,
and you're so weak that all you can do is sit,
and watch yourself bleed,

That moment when you just want to die,
just spread your flightless wings,
and aim for the sky,
only to fall to the ground,
and let the blood drain,
along with all the pain and sorrow,

Because nothing is worth it anymore

Sitting here, in this dark room.
***** white blinds,
and a bed sheet runs through.
A temporary bed on the kitchen floor.
Looking through smoke filled air,
I can't say I don't want more.