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Apr 2014 · 660
Set Me Free
Jenna Vaitkunas Apr 2014
He walked away with my beating heart
as if promises were meant to be broken
he kissed my lips, just to depart
and took my heart as a token

he let his fingers run through her hair
and let his breath graze her skin
into her eyes he had stared
begging her to let him in

i found her bra on his bedroom floor
he could have sworn it was mine
one excuse, three, ten more
and he expects me to act like it's fine?

He had the nerve to call me last night
i answered with three words "set me free"
Feb 2014 · 578
Make A Wish
Jenna Vaitkunas Feb 2014
Some people like to wish on candles
Placed carefully on frosted cakes
marked with the words "Happy Birthday"
but how happy can a birthday be
if you are making wishes to ask for more?  
For Father to come home and bring a treat
for mother to stop crying and get out of bed
but you know that dad isn't coming back
and mom hasn't been the same since he left

Some people like to wish on stars
streaking across the universe
most likely about to hit earth
and to completely destroy something.
what a shame, it's so beautiful
and it holds all our deepest secrets
so why must it crash and take our dreams with them?
I wrote this to use as an experiment for my web design class, turns out I liked it enough to post.
Feb 2014 · 464
Today
Jenna Vaitkunas Feb 2014
I don't want to be caught in the future.
I don't want the past trailing behind us,
the unholy shadow is a constant reminder.
I want to live in the present.
I want to love you now,
not tomorrow, not yesterday, but today.


Today I want to hold you close
and breathe that old familiar smell,
and talk with your mom over breakfast.
and Today I want to build a fort
made of sheets and blankets,
we can hide in them all day
because nothing else matters, today.
Feb 2014 · 365
Valentine
Jenna Vaitkunas Feb 2014
I kinda got a crush, you see,
but I'm not sure if you like me
And In this week I'll show to you,
all the things I want to do
to make you smile, ear to ear.
Stay a while, please, my dear?
I want our friendship to remain
I'm sorry that I'm sorta plain
but I'll face a certain fear of mine
and ask if you'll be my valentine?
I sent this to someone to ask them to be my valentine
Feb 2014 · 217
Untitled
Jenna Vaitkunas Feb 2014
(I) can't stop thinking about you

I wonder, (did) you read it

I don't know why (this) is being written

but I have (to) tell you, I care

not for you but for (myself)
Jan 2014 · 400
The Worst Types Of Boys
Jenna Vaitkunas Jan 2014
Is there really such a thing
As a worst type of heartache?
As if one broken heart couldnt compare?

I can't say I know the feeling
For when you cage your heart
And refuse to give it away
I don't believe it can break
What even. Why am i even posting this.
Jenna Vaitkunas Dec 2013
Walking away was useless.

They never came after me
because they knew
I'd always turn around
and come right back.


Mostly because I had nowhere else to go.
Nov 2013 · 756
I never understood
Jenna Vaitkunas Nov 2013
I never quite understood
why you wanted that girl,
the one who wore too much lipstick
and flirted with your best friend.

I never quite understood
why I never bothered to say hi
whenever you walked by
or picked me up in your car.

You see,
I never quite understood
why I wanted you to want me
and wanted you to forget about that girl,
who wore too much lipstick
and flirted with your best friend.

I was never quite sure
why you wanted someone
who didn't care
about your favorite movies,
or books,
or people.

I never quite understood
how I would never get to study you,
underlining the most important parts
over the softness of your skin.

I never quite understood
why I thought what I thought
or how I felt what i felt
when I looked at you
and you didn't look back.
Nov 2013 · 592
Forgive Me
Jenna Vaitkunas Nov 2013
You died around this time last year
I didn't go to your wake
I didn't say goodbye
I hope you forgive me

You died around this time last year
I never went to your grave
I don't know where it is
I was scared to find out
I hope you forgive me

You died around this time last year
I wrote to your family
I hope they got my letter
It took me awhile to write it
I never said I cared
I hope you forgive me
**11-23-12**
Sep 2013 · 730
Keeping Up With Julia
Jenna Vaitkunas Sep 2013
her laugh, her smile, her cry
one day will belong to someone new
maybe they'll be like her
different from me, different from you
Maybe they'll be like that lovely girl
the one who's name was simply there
the girl who hated so much of the world
she cursed at the wind, she tugged at her hair
Julia, my Julia, sweeter than our summer's grow
Your smile spreads to others faces
and even so a beautiful face
for curious eyes to wander places
far to vast for me to find
a meaning in my Julia's smile
i couldn't understand her then
and even now, it may take a while
for me to understand my Julia
to run the fields of green and gold
slightly feeling the itch of summer
keeping up with Julia, watching the hills fold
She turns a bit as they write it down
she smiles in her endless sleep
dreams of laughing there with me
and in the distance here the beep
the monitors run flat again
and quietly they planned the date
not a soul knew just then
of when my Julia met her fate
Sep 2013 · 702
I'm too young
Jenna Vaitkunas Sep 2013
I'm too young to understand,
the troubles of life,
the troubles of boys,
I'm too young to make you happy.
Sep 2013 · 340
Everyday is a reminder...
Jenna Vaitkunas Sep 2013
Everyday's a reminder
of when you left this world
and i didn't know what to say
Sep 2013 · 1.3k
Willow, Wallow
Jenna Vaitkunas Sep 2013
Underneath the Willow tree,
is where you used to dance with me,
but only in my sweetest dream,
where we sat talking by the stream


Underneath the Willow's shade
the leaves create a barricade
we'd hide from monsters that left holes
but those monsters were our souls

Where that Willow ramified
I stood there crying, terrified
I watch as you swung to and fro
and wondered why you had to go

Underneath the Willow tree,
lies two stones, for you, for me
'cause you were gone and my pain grew
I just wondered, 'why not me too?'
Sep 2013 · 655
He was a Balloon
Jenna Vaitkunas Sep 2013
He was a balloon
that some girl had let go
out of my reach
and he couldn't save himself
Jenna Vaitkunas Sep 2013
there's a bottle by my head
I just want to go to bed
It made me feel so tired
but a the fuel started a fire

and my heart begins to race
and my mind is out of place
it seems I left my sanity
on memories and broken dreams

My thoughts are blurring out now
I can't seem to find out how
but I can barely write these words
the sentences in herds

The spelling can't be right
just thinking is a fight
because it helps me sleep
I had a drink, it came out in heaps

Now a headache starts to rise
the screen is straining my eyes
and I try to go to sleep
but secrets are hard to keep

I'd mention about the lines
the dance across my shoulder
I never expose them, nonsense
I'm afraid of your cruel comments

They're pale and white, but you can see
I've felt so alone, for eternity
I wanted just to hold you
but I found I couldn't pursue

I took a chance and asked you
about coffee and walks and the zoo
and when you told me that you would
I thought I finally understood

That I don't need those bottles or pills
they were supposed to protect me from ill
but I needed your touch and kiss
to know it gets better than this
Jenna Vaitkunas Sep 2013
il tuo sorriso,
come le stelle sopra di noi stasera
Non credo che potrei abbastanza confrontare
il modo in cui i tuoi occhi brillano alla luce della luna pallida
essi sono di colore blu
sono sempre stati
ma è diverso questa volta
perché questa volta ti piaccio troppo
questa volta siamo completamente persi
in un mondo tutto nostro
ma mi rendo conto di minuetti dopo
sveglio nel mio letto
lacrime sulle mie guance
era solo un sogno
e questo è tutto ciò che non potrà mai verificarsi
English Translation:
your smile,
as the stars above us tonight
I do not think I could quite compare
the way your eyes sparkle to the pale moonlight
they are blue
they always have been
but it's different this time
because this time you like me too
this time we are completely lost
in a world of our own
but I become aware of minuets after
awake in my bed
tears on my cheeks
it was just a dream
and this is all that will never occur


Wanted to try some other language writing although i had to look some words up c:
Sep 2013 · 500
I noticed
Jenna Vaitkunas Sep 2013
I noticed
          The way you stared
                   You tried to hide it
But I noticed

I noticed
        How you apologized quickly
                       I shrugged it off
But I noticed

I noticed*
         I said the wrong thing
                    you laughed it off
but I noticed

I noticed
             the sad glances or smiles
                          you'd try and play it off
But I noticed

I noticed
         I am an Anchor made of glass
                      thrown off the edge
                           you try to stop me from sinking
                                           but you can't stop when I shatter
Aug 2013 · 907
The Orange Carpet
Jenna Vaitkunas Aug 2013
It was a filthy orange carpet
filled with dirt and dust and disappointment
but I couldn't stop smiling
or staring in your direction
Aug 2013 · 858
That One Boy
Jenna Vaitkunas Aug 2013
I wasn't quite sure why
Maybe it was his voice
or the way he looked nervously ahead
maybe it's because it was busy around us
or maybe, just maybe it was the ***** orange carpet
but right then I knew
I didn't want to look away
I wanted to stay there forever
eating sour patch kids and thinking with you
I thought a lot
about my choices and how I felt
at 3 am 'cause we can't call each other anymore
and we couldn't ask for hugs
and we couldn't call to hear each other's voice
on the other line
I thought a lot that day
on that orange carpet
eating sour patch kids

                                                           ­                                                                 ­       I just hope you did too.
Aug 2013 · 702
In that moment
Jenna Vaitkunas Aug 2013
it's like this
you are at this place
maybe it's your first time
maybe you've been here a million times
and its filled with strangers all around you

it's like you shuffle past
and try not to focus on them
because like I said
They're strangers

you listen to the music
that blares out
as your favorite band
stands in front of you

and as everyone around you
screams the words
the chorus and the verses
the instrumentals and just smiling

you realize that these aren't strangers at all
these are the family members you haven't met
the best friends awaiting to be found
and the memories awaiting to happen

but it all starts there
in that one venue
with that one band
when you realize

sometimes its not what you wear
or who you talk to
it's not the color of your skin
or the people you dream of kissing

it's those two minuets and fifty seconds*
when we all forget about being strangers
and it's like we have known each other forever
it's the moment i could live in forever

Everyone is smiling
singing the words
to the song they fell in love with
by the band who stole their hearts

all these different people
with all the same hopes
the same thing got them
through the terrible weather

and I realized in that moment
I was not just a speck of dust
in a universe of greater things
I was part of a whole

I was part of something so much bigger
that even the most complicated
nor simplest minds could understand
It's as if

In that moment I realized
that band needed us
as much as we needed them
and I didn't feel so small after all
This poem wasn't only inspired by my concert experiences but specifically by the best I've had, I dedicate this poem to Silent Stories for always being there when I was upset, whether it was through their music, or even occasionally in person. I don't think they realize the impact they've had on me as a whole. I remember times where I'd be extremely upset and so done with everything and I'd press play and my favorite song would come on and I could just barely mumble the words i knew so well but I did it and I made it threw the city, the four tracks that have picked me up over and over again and never got sick of doing so. I remember the first time I met Nick Reynolds, I wanted to take guitar to be like my dad and he was basically my guitar teacher for a good amount of time, along with the actual teacher and a few other kids but he worked with me and a small group. I stopped adoring my dad after I realized he wasn't going to call anymore and that it had been months since he said hello. and that was the year I decided I liked guitar and that Nick was a good guitarist and I wanted to be like him. He has become such a great person and guitarist since then, It has been quite a while but well worth it because I have found something I love. I remember the day my aunt had committed. It was during a silent stories show. I checked my Facebook and saw the posts, not too long after, I got the call. It was before Silent Stories was up so I walked outside and sat behind a tree, terribly upset. I remember the band walking out and flicking on the headlights to the car, right in front on me, where they practiced jumps and guitar tricks and flips as I watched quietly. as soon as they were done they were on their way in to play their set and I just felt like I couldn't move but I remember Adam stopping and looking down at me as if he knew and he just kinda said to me "you gunna come inside?" It was simple just a question but it made me feel better because I didn't even think they noticed I was there struggling not to break down. It's these moments I remember and every moment in the crowd at their shows in different venues, different states, different cities, that I realized I'm not as alone as I feel at times and maybe I'm a stranger to that crowd when I walk through that door but we're a family as soon as that first note is played.


*The song referred to is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjbnN0IGOJg
**Band Referred to;
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Silent_Stories
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/silentstories
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/silentstoriesband/videos
Aug 2013 · 405
What if
Jenna Vaitkunas Aug 2013
What if the rain
is tears of the forgotten
and some dance with joy
and others curse at the wind

What if that red wheel barrow
next to the white chickens
wasn't a wheel barrow at all*

what if the days we spent
were days wasted on words we never meant
*Reference: The Red Wheelbarrow by William Carlos Williams

so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens.
Aug 2013 · 441
Reasons
Jenna Vaitkunas Aug 2013
It has been awhile since I have written to you
on torn lined paper
that smelt like me
I am sorry this is not from my notebook
and you cannot really smell anything
you cannot see what this page looks like
I do not want you to cry anymore
I know each day that passes
each time I say something
It's as if I am tearing your heart
shredding
ripping
breaking
your heart all over again
I know it seems that I do not want to be around
that I am running and hiding
silence
darkness
you are alone
i know that's how you feel
but i could not tell you
all these different reasons
lists
pages
books
of reasons
and I could not tell you one
and I'm sorry
Aug 2013 · 635
The Same Girl
Jenna Vaitkunas Aug 2013
I remember this young girl
with long curly blonde hair
dimples and a bright smile
she had green eyes and she never lied

She never let anyone cry
and she was always there
to catch accidental tears

This was the same little girl
that loved to eat her vegetables
and loved to listen to her Daddy
sing and play guitar before bed

Well, soon enough
Daddy stopped playing
because he wasn't there at bed time
so she tried to play herself

this was the same little girl
who has had hateful words
thrown in her face

This was the same little girl
who was beat up at school
but still managed to smile
and say "Everything is gunna be OK"

But along the way something snapped
She cut off her long blonde curls
and her eyes no longer were a bright green

Her smile wasn't as bright
actually, it barely was there
but she still said
"I'm OK"

this is the same girl
who resents the man
who she thought
she was safe with

this is the same girl
that wants to be
who she used to be

this is the same girl
who sat in the dark
and writes these words
Aug 2013 · 3.0k
Sushi and Daisies
Jenna Vaitkunas Aug 2013
Someone once asked me
questions I would answer blandly
they weren't what I wanted to answer
Questions of perfect dates
and perfect people
when simply
I wanted them to ask
"What is you favorite flower?"
I could respond with my fascination
with these tiny
white petaled
flowers
ones that made me smile
so wide
eastern Europe could see my teeth.
I wanted someone to ask
about my favorite food
So i could respond
with this amazing blend
of rice and fish
and seaweed and other ingredients
but I'd add
that I only eat them with chopsticks

I would look at them and ask
If I was to fall in love with you
could we share these things
and face the world?
but I couldn't do that
because who wants me,
the girl who wants **Sushi and daisies.
Aug 2013 · 993
Fight
Jenna Vaitkunas Aug 2013
I was climbing this wall trying to get to you
a wall of rusty nails and barbed wire
I'd climb a little bit and then
I'd loose my footing
a couple feet lost
and I'm closer to the bottom
further away from you
Fight for it soldier
you yelled
Watching me below you
but i kept falling while
the people who surrounded you
pushed me down
and my fellow soldiers below
fighting their own battles
told me they needed help
and my battle was useless
so I let go
I loosened my grasp on the wall
and fell to the depths below
the bottom
but I did not know
that above me
where you stood
there were mean people
holding you against your will
and you wanted me to save you
you yelled for me
and I let go
and I left you there
i thought you wanted me to fight
to be worthy of you
but really you said
Fight for me soldier
because you needed to be saved
Jul 2013 · 1.3k
Happy Birthday to Me
Jenna Vaitkunas Jul 2013
my hands shake
as I place a single candle
on top of a store bought cupcake
it doesn't mean much anymore

I take out my lighter
and light the wick
staring at the flame
as in flicks
lighting the shadows in my dark room

I start to sing
choking on the words
trying not to cry
or wake anybody up

"Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday, dear Jenna
Happy birthday to me"


I try to blow out the candle
one pathetic attempt after another
until I finally succeed
I wish to simply disappear
like i never existed
to save my family and friends
from the heartache

and i quietly clap to myself
tears streaming down my cheeks
but i know this isn't my last year
and next year I'll make the same wish
*over and over
Jul 2013 · 590
Please Stop
Jenna Vaitkunas Jul 2013
Stop telling me
how beautiful I am
or how my eyes sparkle
or even how adorable
my dimples are
Stop saying that
I'm the happiest girl you know.

Beautiful girls
don't stand alone at parties
or spend friday nights alone
Happy girls don't lock their door
and take out their razors

                                                                                                                                                         **and cry.
Jenna Vaitkunas Jul 2013
I can't sleep
I'm thinking about

You.

Can you sleep?
or are you thinking about

me.
Jul 2013 · 693
Dreamer
Jenna Vaitkunas Jul 2013
5 years old
She wants to be a princess
elegant, sweet, and beautiful
Daddy said she'd always be his princess

7 years old
She wants to be a musician
to write songs
and tell daddy she misses him
(
She doesn't want to be a princess)

11 years old
She wants to be a warrior
to fight off the mean people
that took her sister
because she was sad
(
they told her she couldn't sing)

15 years old
She wants to be an angel
She gave up on everything
they told her she wasn't good enough
(
the mean people want to take her too*)
Jul 2013 · 844
My raincloud
Jenna Vaitkunas Jul 2013
I looked at her
and I whispered
I'm not just sad
I'm lonely
in the most crowded rooms
and broken
because the glue won't hold
and i hate passing mirrors
because my inside
shows on the out
when I look into the glass

She stared at me
and simply said
"You don't look depressed"

I looked up and laughed
"I'm sorry, Did I forget my raincloud today?"
*stabs eyeball for being an awful poem*
Jul 2013 · 1.6k
Crush
Jenna Vaitkunas Jul 2013
It was silly,
I felt stupid,
You had a grasp on my heart,
and my palms were sweating
even tho you barely muttered "hello"

So many times
I thought this one or that one
and for once it felt different
So I turned to my friend
and said
This one

like looking in the shop's front window
Wishing this time
I could get what I want
but they scold me
and tell me I don't want that
It's ******* anyways

**"It's just a crush"
*******......like this poem
Jul 2013 · 292
words can't help me here
Jenna Vaitkunas Jul 2013
I wrote a line
then threw out the paper
this continued for a good hour
writing
crumpling
writing
crumpling

I just couldn't find the words
that explained how I felt

then I realized
that says it all.
Jul 2013 · 300
Today and Tomorrow
Jenna Vaitkunas Jul 2013
11:59 pm
          
          in one minuet
                   sixty seconds
                        even sixty thousands milliseconds
            Today will be gone
                       Today will be yesterday
                             and tomorrow will be today
             Everything you did today
                         every person you met
                                  every conversation
                                          everything you saw
                                                   and touched
                          

                                                                    is gone.
    
                  You'll remember
                        or even worse.
                            you'll forget
                      you'll lose it in  all your  lost memories
      
                            gone
                  



                                                                   *12:00 am

      
                                                                       Today.
Jul 2013 · 280
Haiku
Jenna Vaitkunas Jul 2013
Poems are stupid
like that boy I thought I liked
but he kinda ******
idk ive had no sleep
Jul 2013 · 1.2k
Remember Me
Jenna Vaitkunas Jul 2013
Remember me,
when you go to read a book,
remember our first kiss
between the shelves
at the local library

Remember me,
when you take her down
to overlook the river,
Remember our first date
walking down the boardwalk

Remember me,
when you kiss her
on someone else's bed
Remember how we laughed for days
about the water bed and the cardboard house

Remember me,
when you go ice skating,
remember how that
was supposed to be
our first date
but we never got around to it

Remember Me,
when you see a brown teddy bear
Remember Valentine's day
and trying to make me smile

Remember me,
when you see the words
I Love You
and remember the first time
I whispered them
while we lay under the stars
and meant them for the first time

Remember me,
when your old and grey
Remember how
the back of my closet
will have an old box

please  *Remember Me
I wasn't sure how to end this poem. I apologize.
Jul 2013 · 586
You Weren't There
Jenna Vaitkunas Jul 2013
You said
that  you'd love me
no matter who I was
what I did

But you weren't there
that time
i cut my wrist
with my broken razor

and you weren't there
that time
i stopped eating
because thin is beautiful

you weren't there
when I realized
I'm more dangerous
to myself
than any killer or devious boy

I now know
you won't be there
each time I swear,
Tonight's The Night
because you don't love
the girl who says that
Jul 2013 · 455
3 saddest things
Jenna Vaitkunas Jul 2013
There is no love
just lots of pain
the broken bones are deadly
this abuse is not your fault
so let it out and tell me

your stomach rumbles
people die
your family's getting sick
diseases going by
who knew hurt could come so quick

You're going through a struggle
You're getting really sick
You have no job or house to go to
your life is slipping quick
your family left you
all alone
here's some money
go call home
I think i wrote this in like 6th grade honestly but I got a lot of recognition for it so. Yay me. ;D
Jul 2013 · 530
Silence Says It All
Jenna Vaitkunas Jul 2013
Silently I walk these halls
Untouched        unnoticed
  but I like it that way

Silently I watch the skies
twisting and turning
Untouched       unnoticed
  but I like it that way

Silently I hug him tight
the world has been so cruel
so I sit in his arms
untouched      unnoticed
but I like it that way

Silently I observe
my eyes searching his face
to me he's perfect
but I stay quiet
untouched      unnoticed
but i like it that way

Silently I listen
untouched     unnoticed
Silence speaks so many words
but nobody wants to listen
only I have heard it's secrets
but I like it that way
I think I wrote this for some school project .-.
Jul 2013 · 1.2k
Flawless
Jenna Vaitkunas Jul 2013
what do you see?
when you look into my eyes.
the start of something new,
or your past I so despise?
Do you see my secrets?
floating like a ghost.
Do you really like my voice?
or is this just hoax?

I really can't remember,
what you said on that day
it passed by so quickly
what was I supposed to say?
that after you showed the world
the beauty that you hold
That I wanted something to become
a story to unfold?
but that's not how it happens
in silence we drove home.
I wonder what I could've said
where we could've roamed
to create another story
erasing all the lies.
I wonder what could've become,
the memories, good times.

So tell me now, what are you thinking?
my secrets you now hold.
and everything I've ever said
is everything you loathe.
Tell me to wander somewhere else
and find another heart,
tell me I'm young and reckless,
they've said it from the start.

I won't forget you,
not at all,
your name,
your face,
the way you call
my name
it sounds like once before
when everything seemed flawless
cliche eh?
Jun 2013 · 752
Figure it out
Jenna Vaitkunas Jun 2013
i sit and read
and read and sit
wonder what you meant by it

who you wanted to impress
i need to get this off my chest

I write some words
not one not two
every word i write's 'bout you

a simple thought i push away
much to foolish,, unwanted ways

I wish and hope
and dream you'll say
a few fresh lines  you wrote today

of tragic love and hopeless dreams
of  butterflies and shakey knees

to conceal a secret for my mind
a bittersweetened lullaby

do not cry or scream and shout
i ask one thing
Figure it out.
Jun 2013 · 540
Reach Out
Jenna Vaitkunas Jun 2013
marks of war across your arm
a boy with artificial charm
a hatred stronger then my own
who taught my heart and mind to roam

A warning one or maybe two
I've been told the ways of you

i have secrets
you have lies
we'll make secret lullabies

of war and past and peace and love
from hell below and heaven above
of hate and pain and warmth and truth
to older age from newer youth
this was about a...friend...of mine per say...and I hope he would understand each line.



and my goodness that last stanza was horrible!
Jun 2013 · 1.0k
The Rain Girl
Jenna Vaitkunas Jun 2013
young bare feet tiptoe down old wood steps,
counting each one,
one step,
two steps,
three steps,
down, lower and lower
until her soft skin touches cold wet pavement,
listening to her soul music,
a light wet patter
creating the soundtrack of her life
the clocks screech out
the darkest hour is upon us
but she doesn't mind
she is elsewhere
as cold drops land upon her
she takes a breathe
a long deep breathe separates her
from reality and paradise
to herself she whispers
'the rain loves me
i love the rain
the rain is cold
lonely and sad
scared and broken
but it loves me
and i love the rain'

— The End —