I do not like this phase of a heart break.

When you purposely avoid love songs,
Or sometimes you play them just to make yourself feel like your hearts still pounding.

When the person you loved and hid from every waking soul is brought into a conversation.
Or when he isn't.

When you see other lovers who have made it years without the cruel hand of fate ripping their love from them.
Or when you see they haven't.

When you notice him writing you smaller, casual messages when they use to be breathtaking and beautiful.
Or when he doesn't write at all.

When I ask you if I am pushing you away and you say no.

"Alright, happy birthday! Text me later tonight?"

"Will do"

When every hidden goodbye ends with those two words. And my broken, belittled heart.

(i. r.)

do not date a girl
who writes.
she will internalize
everything,
carve poems
into your eyelashes
instead of
kissing them,

she will analyze you,
calculate age
from the rings
your coffee cup
leaves
instead of refilling it.

she will memorize
the way your
lips curl around steam,
but not that you
take it
two sugars,
no cream.

she will read your
palm instead of
holding it
against her chest.

she will not
blink
when you leave,
because she is
already
romanticizing it.

I'm angry so I write
I'm sad so I write
I'm happy so I write
I'm scared so I write
I'm confused so I write
Although nobody knows how I feel
I've let it all go
Through my fingertips

Darling,
         You are the Ocean,
                           and I and am drowning .
                                                                         .  .

We both knew it was wrong,
so risque,
but we did it anyways.
I want more.
Just say when,
darling.

Don't try to hold my hand (because I'm a jellyfish)
Love is like lightning,
Beautiful from a distance,
But just wait till you're struck by it
Don't try to hold my hand (because I'm a jellyfish)

you take your morning coffee black,
and i cannot see the appeal in the bitter taste.
you start the day with nicotine, whether that be
cigarettes or cherry-flavored vapor.
you are a bad influence on me, you made me
addicted to the stuff. your eyes are
an ocean. they have seen so, so much.
your face, your body, your mind, all sharp angles -
i have learned how to safety proof myself
from your jagged edges. you, my love, are
a rose. your thorns make my limbs bleed,
and your beauty works as a band aid.
i have learned which places our bodies can
interlock comfortably. the crook of your neck,
my head against your chest, i wish i could melt
our bones together, into one perfect structure.
you were sculpted from dystopian stories, yet
you are alive, you are a tangible utopia.
tangled in the darkness, we mumble sweet promises
and careful secrets. these bed sheets safe keep
us from a world where i love yous can
never last. dear God, let this last.

I know darling,
you're as warm to the touch
as I am,
alone in the dark,
with me here,
& you there,
we're both burning up.