your absence is much more distracting
than your presence
and god, do i hate time difference.

i sleep around when you're awake
and i can't stop wondering
if you do the same.

thoughts, thoughts, thoughts irrational
anxi, anxious, anxiously waiting
ple, pleas, please don't leave.

desperation is the color that flushes my cheeks
oh how you must think of me...
my poor, poor mr. darcy.

then, i find myself ***** for ghosts
who will never appear.
o! how silly of me.
to ever even fathom being in your hades

so don't you ever fu-
you text me.
everything fizzles away
sitting.
patiently.
ever so
patiently. my

pavlovian.

response.
i love it
when you tighten
that leash on me

anxi, anxious, anxiously waiting
for another stimulus
what abitch move.
for you to deny me

that

ha!
and god, do i hate time difference.

i wear rolling stone shirts from h&m
because hot topic scares me
and your scent still lingers there anways
sweat, with a touch of cigarettes
unqiue, special.

only yours
always yours

americana is the style now
but do you remember my all black days?
they come back around whenver
i get a sip of you

only you
always you

message me back!
if you want to, at least.
i'll spend my wait time thinking about ways
i can shoot a pea in my nose
coin flip
which nostril to choose
up up up,

only up
always up

the walls whisper when you leave
remincising in the ays you entered me
in and out and up and down
rag doll style
legs spread out so wide
i felt all 6'2
feet and inches of you
so when you (inevitably) left
there was nothing
but the scent
of sweat, with a touch of cigarettes

i had questions for you
neat, clean
all carefully curated and written
for the sole purpose of winning you back
"did you love them?"
"did you love me?"
"did you dream of me late at night, when it was time to-"
these thoughts haunted my silly little mind
"do you miss me?"
"do you want me?"
"why aren't we talking?"
do you see how invasive you were?
"did you love me as intensely as i loved you?"
"do you love her?"
"or do sometimes you imagine you're talking to me too?"
these were all questions
for you.