I wish that you would lift my chin
with the tender underbelly of your middle knuckle
of your pointer finger
and that you would trace the line
of my strawberry lips
with the fingerprint of your thumb
softly memorizing the asymmetry
of a face not fit to model but somehow
fit to be deserving of your touch

I wish that you would brush my cheek
with the tips of your eyelashes
as they flutter to sleep next to me
your breath soft and steady
like a gentle wave expanding and receding
on the pale shore of my bare neck
whispering life into a cold shoulder
that softens at the cool warmth
of an unapologetic slumber.

Cold cut-and-dry your logic’s never soaked in
Emotion like mine is it? I know the
Pieces are right where you want them not in
The right places but the picture is what
You wanted to see all along I think

Do you ever lie awake like I do?
I wonder if I ever happen to
Cross the icy tundra of your changing
Mind? My thoughts dance like mercury falling
In drops and splintering leaping ever
Dancing in circles around all of the
Memories all of the time that I can’t
Seem to forget no matter how hard I
Try these quicksilver needles keep stabbing.

Yours words are forever tearing at me
Until what’s left of all that I wanted
Is a tattered picture of happiness
I must have imagined because the you
I knew wouldn’t ever do this to me

But we’re moving on now, you with your closed
Heart and your calculus and cold logic
And me with my dancing thoughts and heartbreak

You always laughed and said you didn’t think
I’d understand when you talked about your
Chemicals and elements and theories
But I think I understood better than
You thought so let me lay this out for you
In words you know and can’t twist or deny:

You are iron, cold-forged, solid, stubborn,
And maybe I’m not the only one who
Doesn’t understand exactly why this
Didn’t work out, who doesn’t see clearly

I fly off the handle I know but I
Come back in an instant coalescing
Recombining, still familiar yet strange

You are nickel, titanium-plated,
Security stability stone-calm

But I am
Mercurial

Never have I been able
to place my finger on where
my trouble sits
deep inside my flesh
lodged in like a weary traveler
finally able to rest,

I do not know the reasons
for why he entered into my life
holding great felicity
delicately as if it were
the only precious gem in the world,

I ponder the answers to why
I will never hear another tap against
my window pane
or hear him speak the syllables
of my name,

For he is gone and the one
to never return with
jouissance dwelling in
the palm of his tired hands.

A lying brother was paralyzed with fear
When the Father of lies drew his evil lance.
The devil threw his pointy pitchfork,
Signaling the start of the Satanic Dance.

The Power of darkness finally hopped and began to shuffle
With the day closing fast;
The brother lost his soul
As Satan danced his last.

The Thief twirled around the Tree of Knowledge
As hot sparks pierced the sky.
I know not why God appeared then,
But all was lost as He began to cry.

As God brutally tore off the Wicked One's limbs
Beelzebub screamed and slithered away.
God desperately searched for the lost brother's soul,
But, alas, the Serpent still has it to this very day.

There was a time
when you could move mountains
with your smile, and the earth
was such a beautiful bridge.
Now Ursa dips deeply into
the dark well of sky while
little sister plays hide and seek,
perishing thoughts that ride down in bitter cool.

How can you or I claim innocence
when we have both been here before,
shall we cast down our glance in shame
having lied through eyes of stolen charm.
Our birth is breached
as we cling tight to earlier yearnings,
and the wailing wall sounds
a whisper to the cry in my mind.

Those times when in spirit,
our fingertips would brace,
prying open closed hearts
that had been slammed shut
by a life swung hard.
What fear brings this memory,
doesn't every tree stand alone
until you look below the ground.

All Rights Reserved.

She was the girl constantly being thrown lemons
Expected to make lemonade over and over, she did
Growing used to the sour taste of what she had come to know as her reality
A child’s innocence
She danced through thunderstorms
Twirling through the rain like she twirled through her life
Graceful leaps of laughter sending her in circles, growing dizzy
Only to find that by the time her dizziness had faded nothing was ever the same
Tangy lemonade had returned
Gulping it down along with her insecurities, she kept dancing but the bitter sense of having to grow up so fast hit her like a bolt of lightning she had once danced upon
And finally the thunderstorms grew too strong for her
The downpour that once sent her soaring soaked into her shoes
Damp and despair into her bones
Where once she would have floated over the world she dragged her feet to safety
She’d now watch the droplets of rain hit the window pain
Struggle after struggle
Lemon after lemon
She was left with nothing but the compromise of happiness
The acidity left her melting
Draining the juice from her slowly until she was just a little dusting of zest thrown on top of what used to be her childhood
Her days of dancing but a bare memory
And the girl she used to know had since disappeared
Lost hopes she tucked herself away
Her only idea of dreams locked away in her dream book next to her bed
Frantic scribbles on each page
She wrote her feelings as her old friend Thunder cracked over head
Her faint remembrance of happiness
But a sound
A raindrop
A window away
She blocked her ears now
Willing the constant bang of her Thunder to stop
Couldn’t it tell it only caused her more pain?
Persisting past her pleads; it rang out louder and louder
Taunting her
Haunting her
It yelled at her
And for the first time since the lemons had been thrown her way
She yelled back
Breaking that window open
Broken glass like all her old broken hopes hit the ground
She jumped outside
Enveloped by dazzling drops of clarity and surprise
For her shoes were no longer wet and her bones no longer heavy
And the weight of the storm no longer pinned her soul down
Her lost peace now found
She danced
A dance for all the dances she had forgotten
A dance that left the ground trembling and the skies flickering in her wake
This girl who had been thrown lemons without rest
Had figured out the answer to the test
Finally understanding that she was never too weak to conquer the storm
She was as strong and as fierce as the winds around her
As gentle as a raindrop hitting an eyelash but as grand as a flood covering land as far as the eye could see
No longer would she compromise her happiness
Her dreams
Herself
For now she knew that happiness was for her taking and hers alone
That girl now knew that the next time life through her a lemon
She’d throw it back
And yell
“I am no longer bitter lemonade”
“I am a thunderstorm”

For my best friend who is beautiful, smart and the strongest girl I know, even if she forgets it sometimes.