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 May 2013 Jay
Chaz Kirshcmann
Thoughts are ******
They Overcome me
Petty me
Destroy me
Fear arises
Now Short Breathing
Anxiety
It has its Variety  
I create something
Then destroy it
Ego
Please know
All I want
Is Peace
Please release
This grip you have on me
Thinking
Overwhelms me
Socially  
The Difficultly  
I feel
Out of my mind
I'm crazy
And that's just fine.
 May 2013 Jay
Jay Wasnothing
It began quietly, as many things do.
In fact, it began while I was thinking of you.

The tears started to form in my eyes,
And my lungs became filled with a thousand sighs.

The tears then quietly streamed down my face,
And all I could think was, "Ha, what a disgrace."

So I sat there for a while with my face in my hands,
And all I could think was, "Ha, nobody understands."

It was then that my throat began to feel tighter and tighter,
And all I could think was, "Ha, I never was a fighter."

Eventually I began to quietly whine,
And all I could think was, "Ha, I was supposed to shine."

Soon I opened my mouth and let out a million silent screams,
And all I could think was, "Ha, there go my hopes and dreams."

Mere moments later I had cried my eyes dry,
And all I could think was, "Why?"

"Why did I waste so many tears,
On someone who has given me grief for years?"

"Why did I think you would've changed,
And not still be emotionally deranged?"

"Why do I put myself into this predicament time after time,
And think you won't commit another perfectly devastating crime?"

So I got back on my feet and wiped away all my tears,
And all I could think was, "Ha, it's time to be happy again for the first time in years."
Copyright 2013
 May 2013 Jay
Steven Hutchison
have you ever looked at a word
looked at it again
and read it as if it were your first time
reading that word
as if all the other times you wrote "night"
the letters were somehow
different

I saw your picture on my nightstand
I don't believe we've met
 May 2013 Jay
Emily Tyler
"Oh, hey Emily, will you be on our team?"

It was the very bad ending to a very bad day.

Three tests, forgotten homework, stuttered lines,
And this is what got me in the end.

Those girls,
The ones with the
Perfect long blonde beautiful hair
And the pencil skirts
And uggs,
The girls who even manage to make gym clothes look good.

We had lined up for
Captain ball
Which is really just
A mix of
Soccer and basketball.

And we had to line up,
Every inch of back touching the wall,
And the first seven people from each side would play, and then the next seven.

But of course
Those girls
The ones who can't bear to be
Seperated
For two minutes and forty-seven seconds
Had to have the perfect team.

No.
Just no.

I won't "be on your team."

There are no teams.
Agh this is a poem-like rant...
 May 2013 Jay
Lewis Carroll
"You are old, Father william," the young man said,
"And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head--
Do you think, at your age, it is right?

"In my youth," Father William replied to his son,
"I feared it might injure the brain;
But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again."

"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,
And you have grown must uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned back a somersault in at the door--
Pray, what is the reason of that?"

"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his gray locks,
"I kep all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment--one shilling a box--
Allow me to sell you a couple."

"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--
Pray, how did you manage to do it?"

"In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life."

"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
That your eyes was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose--
What made you so awfully clever?"

"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
Said his father; "don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you downstairs!"
 May 2013 Jay
Leslii Carling
Jaws cracking
eyes watering
inhaling so deep

heavy eyelids
and a drooping head
don't fall asleep

sleep is fickle,
get it where you can
and if you don't have insomnia

BE GLAD.

There are few things worse
than lying awake,
clock blinking, glowing in your eyes.

Your watch beeps,
a bell chimes
3:00 in the morning

again.

You're so awake
you wanna go out
but you can't.

It's too late.
early?
dark.

The cracks in your ceiling
are so fascinating.
The cat at your side is
warm.
purring.

orange.

It should be soothing
should put you to sleep.
But it won't.
Never does.

How long can you go without sleep
before you go mad as a hatter?
Down, down, down the rabbit hole of dreams...

snapped away from the brink.
Damnable sirens!
Damnable insomnia...

Sun's rising. What now?
Get up. Get dressed.
You've a life to live.

Foundation covers the circles under your eyes.
Tea or coffee keeps you running.
Insomnia keeps you awake.

Always has.

Always will.
Written at school when I should have been taking notes on the Depression. All punctuation and capitalization errors are intentional.
 May 2013 Jay
Hope Hiding
Batteries
 May 2013 Jay
Hope Hiding
You never realize how
Dark the night is
Until some one snuffs out
Your candle.

And you have to
***** around in the dark
For some matches.

You swear you put them
Next to the coffee machine,
But it doesn't matter now.

That flame
Can not
Be relit,
No matter how hard
You try.

You must find
Another source of light,
Something more reliable.

A flashlight perhaps.

But one day
That will be snuffed out too.
Not even batteries
Last
Forever.
 May 2013 Jay
Lexi Vinton
Chemicals
 May 2013 Jay
Lexi Vinton
She would inhale,
filling her lungs
with potent smoke
and her head
with potent thoughts.

She would exhale
and her face
would do this thing
as if deep down
it knew that the world
was inherently good.

As she exhaled,
her face showed innocence.
Through the cloud of smoke,
her face shone through
looking like the face
of a harmless child.

When she inhaled again,
her aged face would show
worry, pain-
and hopelessness.

But only for a moment
until it was exhaled
into a puff of smoke.
 May 2013 Jay
Redshift
i think i should let you know
that you wouldn't just make an ugly girl
you'd make an ugly anything
because your mind
is ugly
and that every time i hear your voice
your drawling,
depressing,
slur
i want to throw my brain
out a window
into a vat of lava
i know this is all so sudden
but you **** me off
an' ****
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