i didn't think
that wednesday
would be
the last day
i'd see you.

the last thing
i said
to you was,
"so see you
some other
time?"

the last thing
you said
to me was,
"yes."

but that never
came true.

or at least
in the way
i expected.

because here i am
now,
at your grave,
missing you
and wishing this
was all just
a bad dream.

here i am
with you.
here i am
faking a smile.

i wish that just once
you would look at me
for who i am,
not the one with a mask.

here you are
with me.
here you are
joking.

you look at me
with your enchanting eyes.
you smile at me
with your crooked grin.

all we do is joke.
all we do is fake.
i wish that one-day
we can go beyond that.

maybe you don't love me.
maybe we're nothing more
than friends,
than acquaintances.

you're with her,
not me.

here i am,
alone...