Heart racing, mind pacing... thinking of the times when everything was perfect. One simple **** up and your greatest fears come to haunt you. You close the windows to your mind to keep the bad thoughts out. The thoughts of fears and sadness. But then, the monsters get in and sing us lullabies to make us feel alright.
The things we would only wish to never go through. Sometimes we feel broken, hurt... we don’t really understand life. Our demons come to us as things we really like.. music, relationships, material things. Things that eat us up inside and and we fight to keep em in our lives but alas, the monsters get in and sing us lullabies to make us feel alright.
We fight and fight knowing that these things are ba *** us but they’re so sweet to the lips like candy in the mouth of a child. We fight to keep these things in our lives because they’re our favourite addiction. Much better than any joint, greater than any video game. We fight and fight to keep these things in our lives, but just when we think we’re about to lose the battle... the monsters get in and sing us lullabies to make us feel alright.

Might be clichéd the the leaf is the inspiration
But when I hit it I'm in a different nation
I feel like when I'm up there
There's no fear
I'm in a different place worried about no body
all my thoughts go away
insecurities go to play
its just a place of good feelings
good vibes, good thoughts
genuinely in my happy place
the leaf makes me feel like a new person
like I could go out and conquer the world
but when I get down from cloud 9
Thinking I'm still gonna have a good time
I come down and realise things still aren't fine.

From the first day we spoke I felt your connection. It was something weird but we just clicked together. I mean I'm not the type of person to just let someone in but for some weird reason I welcomed you in with opened arms not knowing that it would be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. We started out nice and strong until you used the same force to break me down. Watching you go after him as I ran after you not only hurt me emotionally but it hurt my physically, I felt every piece of torture you placed me thru and asked "what have I done to you" you left him alone and came back to me but even then I let you in again with no breathing time, right back where we started and again you tore me down and I asked "what have I done you" third times the charm I said to myself as I was the ******* to let you in one last **** time. What the hell was my problem? You pushed against the walls I built against you and you demolished them. Then for the last time seeing you with someone else, this time an even closer friend completely tore me down and I asked one... Last... Time... With tears in my eye... What have I done to you??