I wonder if you’d want to know
I named all of my demons after you and
they haunt me in my sleep
when I was 14 I fell asleep in April and dreamed of bones and
I’m not sure I’ve really ever woken up since
when I lost 5 pounds I never saw a difference
when I lost 10 my mother said I was looking good
when I lost 20 she told me to stop and handed me food
and I became anemic
when I lost 25 I stopped drinking anything because
I felt water had calories
when I lost 30 my mother held me on her lap
and held my bones together for me
when I lost 35 I started fainting every morning and
the doctors could no longer easily find my blood pressure
when I lost 40 people started to stare and food made me cry
when I lost 45 it hurt to walk and to lay down
it hurt to eat
it hurt to breathe and
I started throwing up my empty stomach
the mind plays tricks on those that decide
nourishment is not needed
Eat.