The sheets against my skin
rub me raw
like the ocean
pushing and pulling
upon the sand
that sits along the beach

like the waves
I crash into you
losing myself in the current
that sweeps me
into another world
another place
another time

where you and I
are one and the same

where fishes swim
erratically and freely
like the blood in my veins
as we rise and fall
above the surface of this body
of water

Our faces in the air
barely there
gasping
reaching
for breath
as we try to keep ourselves afloat

with each new wave
our strength weakens
til we fail
and sink
further
and further
down into the depths

where we come to the

last

bit of

air

that we lose

we become suspended
in this wondrous world
for a brief

touch

of a moment

until all is dark.

lithely we fall
into each other
with breathless reverie

smiles of content
rise like the sun
upon the calm of the
ocean waters

the sheets are soaked from our journey
and lay peacefully upon our skin

like the calm waves
I linger to
crash
into you again.

I've never been in love, but it must be like waking up from a lovely dream.
It's probably something like a road trip without a destination.
I hope it's that feeling in your stomach as the roller coaster is dropping, electricity coursing through your veins.
Maybe it's like a camera, freezing moments that feel like forever.
I bet its something like the glittering embers in the sky, just after a firework burst into a dozen lights.
I'm sure love is like a constellation, where you can connect the dots to create a story.
Love must be like rain drops on a window, accumulating slowly, then racing to the brim of the frame.
I think love is like an eclipse. The sun and the moon circling the globe, in search of each other. And when they finally meet, the world stops to watch.
For me, I know love is a dusty typewriter, waiting for its story to be written.

Didn't get my way I drank
Didn't get treated tight I drank
I don't drink anymore but drinking was an intoxicating escape
It ruined my friendships
Took out a few relationships
It made like hard it wasted time
Now it leaves your life to destroy another's future

you know what they say
you've heard it
forever
"the separation
gets easier
as time goes
on"
yeah
that's what every
single
person
who has never
ever
come close
to your situation
says
like the concept that
people will like bread more
if it's toasted
or that
cheese
is better
when you give it time
to mould
those are the kind of people
who are trying to tell me
it's going to be ok
someday
shut the **** up
drink your expensive wine
and leave me
alone

Today I caught you staring.

At me I hoped, but then she spoke
To the class, and I watched your
Face change and I knew.

                                                            You smiled at her the same way
                                                            That you sometimes smile at me. The
                                                            Color drained slowly from my face as
                                                             I realized how inferior I was.

She hunts, wears stylish clothes,
And has enough money and much
To spare. She's sweet, funny, and
Quite brilliant. I respect her.

                                                              I don't have many clothes. Money is
                                                              Carefully sectioned and cared for
                                                              Because there's barely enough to use
                                                              For wanted things rather than needed.

She has developed an organized,
Clear life. My life is chaotic. I know
I love you from afar, but I hoped that
You had realized our chemistry.

                                                             You were gone Friday. You showed up last
                                                             Period on Monday. I thought it was okay
                                                             To miss you a little bit, that it wasn't a big
                                                             Deal. I realized when you came back I was wrong.

Shivers ran down my spine as
You walked through the door,
Late. You passed my seat normally
But I couldn't get enough air.

                                                             Your friends clapped you on the back,
                                                             Calling your name and drawing your
                                                             Perfect smile. Then they said something
                                                             Shocking- "Happy Birthday!"

In my mind, I painfully smiled
And wished you the best birthday
Even though I knew I wouldn't
Be able to tell you to your face.

                                                              I know you probably don't realize, and
                                                              That I may be unqualified. But you still
                                                              Held the door open with a smile, and I
                                                              Could barely mutter, "Thank you."

As I walked behind you, I wanted
To reach out and ruffle your curly
Hair, then laugh as you turned to me,
Shocked. I wished we could play.

                                                              Instead, I just watched you walk
                                                              The way you always do, and smiled behind
                                                              Your back as you placed your feet with
                                                              Runner's precision, even as I shuffled.

As I moved past you with my
Longer strides, I smiled as I always
Do, with everyone. But perhaps
You caught the undertone of "Happy Birthday."

                                                              But today I came late, and you didn't
                                                              Seem the same as you always did, though
                                                              You talked to me on class-related business,
                                                              Which, even though simple, was enough for me.

But then I caught you looking at
Her. My slight Inferiority Complex
Hit with force, and my hopes were
Dashed to the side. I broke inside.
                                      
                                                               I hope in a couple of years, even if you're
                                                               Interested in her, you'll take me on a
                                                               Date, as friends; nothing serious. That will
                                                               be enough for me, even if it's not my desire.



--
Other thought:
You play the trumpet, and can't sing.
I sing with full heart and care, with my
Often-used, experienced voice. I wish
That someday we could make music together.
--


                                                             This is an ill-formed poem, filled with
                                                             Inconsistency and raw feelings, with
                                                             No revision. But I hope that if/when I
                                                             Show these to you, you'll understand.
                                          &nbsp