This time last year, I was waking up on a Sunday morning
Late, you brought me  home around midnight the night before
It was our first date as an official couple
You took me out to Madeline's, before it burned down
I was so uncomfortable, I didn't know what to wear or how to act
I wasn't use to it
You laughed at how bashful I was acting and ordered the scallops
This wasn't the usual for me
Eventually I warmed up and loosened up
We left and hadn't decided what to do yet, you thought about taking me to your house
Little did I know it was right down the road and soon I would be there at least once a week
We talked and smoked for a little
You told me how much you liked me and it made me nervous, I didn't know what to say
Then we drove to Reading, to save my friend and take care of Zach
We were good at it but we didn't want to be there
So we left and went to Blue Marsh were we sat and talked for hours and even fooled around
When we left I feel asleep, sitting next to you as I would many times in the future

Laughter & glitter
Sunshining through straight white teeth – voice unheard of
With a smile to make any man slither over
Cutting soft stomachs open
Driving out with sticks and leaves and rocks
And leaving me with the tab
How like them to err for the sake of error
Terrible and true
Acuity bound
It’s feeding time at the zoo &
There’s no one to take this noose off around my neck
We were swimming in the gulf when she asked
Why create when there’s so much to destroy?
My hands their play things too
Toys ordained from disdain sustained
By tight men in tight suits
Watching us from Ivory Towers
What a relief
& the power trips of the circus beneath them
Reaching out with viral irony I scream
Out to the heavens heaven doesn’t take collect calls
& here she is connecting souls to mates
Correcting hate and abating disgrace worldwide
Webs intangible but thought to be hooked
To the hearts that spun them
Free flowing love & peace to cut my noose hung from
The sycamore tree
As for me what more could please
Disease eradicated
People educated
Our lives illustrated not by blood off a bayonet
But by regret eliminated
Fat cats in high homes with low self esteem would seem
Just as happy to see her redacted from the text books
Crooked lies straightened & the sad thing is they
Trick us fine serfs to mitigate others in their organized ignorance
Leaving us in the dark to elbow for clues
Groping the dust blind &
Hurting ourselves with ***** fingernails scratching
She shouts like a car crash &
Everyone’s at the scene drawn to attention
By flashing red & blue
Cashing their moral chips for a peepshow
Their smiles use less muscles than frowns but take twice the effort
Affecting deflections of accusations
People listen & how couldn’t they?
Her words lifting chins like a rope over a branch
But this time the tree’s on fire
The Tower’s burning & she’s cutting all the safety nets
Like she cut the rope off around my neck

Blood smoke bones and teeth
Footsteps hitting the pavement
Throbbing muscles throbbing hands
Rage
Hit it again and again and again
Strangled screams kept in your throat

Disgust
Head spinning and no direction
No destination, just lost
Turning and looking for a release
Throw yourself deeper into it
Go as deep as you can, drown it out
Leave no trail, let no one find you
Focus now on shutting down

Blank
Not painless, just empty
Numb to the feeling and black from the sight
Anger still seething from the skin
Let it evaporate
Let the heat run out until you're cold
Until nothing and no one matters
Until that deep hole is all that's around you
Finally turned off
Faceless stare
Walking through walls and nothing touches

All that's left, is nothing.

I spend Mondays pulling pieces
of glass from the bottom of my feet.

Every shard reminding me of you.
Every line of blood bringing out your face.
And I smile with a bitterness,
as I throw the pieces away.

On Tuesdays I try to make
everything symbolic.  

I sit at my window in utter bareness,
and whisper to the cold panes that if everyone
stopped lying, we'd all be left naked.

Wednesdays are the days I drink
only water, and eat only celery.

Hoping to purge my body of poison.
Hoping to drop another pant size.
Wanting to get high off double zero skinny jeans.

Thursdays I always attempt to draw,
but never get past the art of words.

It's so much easier to stay in
my comfort zone.  Hang out with
punctuation, margins, and lines.

Fridays have a way of
being rather nostalgic.

It's never a happy trip down memory lane.
Too many wrong turns to be made.
Too many *** holes to get lost in.

Saturdays I binge on pizza,
realizing how much I love to eat.

The strangest feeling I'll ever know,
is that of feeling full.  I'm so used
to feeling completely hollow.

Sundays are horribly predictable,
that I can always count on.

To diffuse my energy I break wine bottles.
You'd never believe how it feels to walk
over something you've completely destroyed.