.

Emptiness swarms me,
Taunts me in my sleep.
Reminding that I’m alone.
Listing off the reasons.
Telling me there’s something
About me that nobody wants.
I try to decide what it is...
Maybe it’s my sarcasm.
Or the fact that I’m too short.
I’m “cute” but never “beautiful.”
Or my standards are just too high,
But are they, really?
All I want is someone who I can talk to.
Really talk to.
Have a deep conversation about everything.
Someone to trust.
Is it too much to ask?
Emptiness.
It takes me over
When my mind tricks itself
Into thinking I’m happy just how I am.
Taunting me
Until I just can’t sleep anymore.

She was alone
Oh so terribly alone .
She wondered who to call
If they would help or didn't care.
She was but a humble maiden
Had no delusions of grandeur.
She knew she had faults
Maybe more than the normal maidens.
She sat on her balcony
Watched the world go on.
She never went out.
Oh no she couldn't venture
Into the fold of humanity.
They were known to be picky
What if they didn't embrace her?
With her old fashioned mannerisms
And odd way of speaking.
She swung her bare feet.
Watching them move forward
And imagined she was marching
In a band somewhere.
Following music to a beat
Purposeful and deliberate.

She needed a friend
But how to go about collecting one
should she place an advert like she had seen in papers?
Or go to the fairs and wriggle her way into a group
What if they asked from whence she came?
And so she watched from afar.
admired a couple walking hand in hand
The boy pushing her hair out of her face
The girl looking up and smiling at something he said.
What she wouldn't give to feel normal.
Instead she kept house and world
Carrying the burdens of both.
For someone needed to protect humanity
From the cruelty of life.
She had a job to do
And so remained alone.

my father
the father
of a city
he was born
inside.

     father lit
by the soul
of his shadow.

-

city first, as in

city dark, as in

city first.

-

     his child a partial vow to be lonely
in moderation.