The feeling of your body heat is so soothing oh how you feel so warm
Each day I can feel you expanding for every piece of me to transform
Love dancing in your womb hearing the echo of my voice singing a new song
Your calmness the peace oh how wonderfully its is inside your womb what can go wrong.

A strange feeling started happening I can feel your distress things are becoming fragile and starting to feel like the winter
The water around me is so cold and it’s making me go blind
My body aching and hurting so much as I’m starting to get blisters
As the excruciating pain starts to crawl over all over my spine.

Mommy hold onto to me make it go back to the feeling of autumn
I feel all alone and I’m starting to sink to the bottom
Everything is so dark and time is going on and on feels like forever
I once had a dream that I replayed over and over again of you holding and kissing me that I’m by your side and all the possibilities we can do together.

Everything seems so bitter the atmosphere of your sorrow I can tasted in your tears
My whole body feels boated and weary all around is this fear
I can the darkness creeping up getting closer mommy please keep me away from any harm
Mommy can’t’ you hear my screams? Can you feel them ripping my arm?



Calling your name feeling so hopeless please don’t let me die here,
Feeling so lost I can see though you hiding your betrayal,
Limb after limbs drowning in my blood, I can hear my own scream echoing back into my ears and everything still so unclear,
Then started to have a vison of a man, of a messiah that was slash thirty-three stripes and hung driven by nails.

Hear him calling saying my child your suffering will no longer be anymore,
There was a warm sensation of seeing heaven opening their doors,
He carries healing in his hands his voice makes me see again saying child no longer will you be alone,
For you will be right next to me in heaven throne.
Mommy it hurt more to know it was you that you I’ve been betrayed,
But all I wanted to say is that I forgive you and that I love you and I’m no longer afraid,
I did my best to hold on to fight to my death,
I no longer can stay this is my end this is my final breath.


P.S Mother I probably will never know your reasons; or your overthinking doubts,
But just wanted to let you know that I feel more alive than ever before everything seems so clear and true, I’m at paradise above all the clouds,
Hope some day we’ll meet again, probably be all grown up by then but all of my thought will be of you and will send pictures of me in your dreams with my arms wide open holding each other,
Will always love you forever wish it would have been the other way around be by each other side holding me when I cry being the best person you can be I know deep in my heart you’ve of been a great mother.
by Jacob Cuadro

Oh, how I remember the day that you were born,
To find out the condition you were going to be in I felt completely torn,
But the most precious and beautiful moment I held you in my arms,
I will be every step of the way to love you to guide you and keep you away from any harm.

Year after year I have been blessed to see you grow,
From a little girl to the woman, you grew up to be,
As your grandfather if I have not told you there is no regrets in raising you day by day there was nothing that brought me more joy than to see you glow,
You may have a lot of differences than others but does not change how precious and strong you are no matter how hard it seems.

Within my heart are happy memories,
Of a perfect love that you gave to me,
Through our life we have seen our share of ups and downs,
Death is part of life, but it isn’t fair sorry you had to witness my final moments in an instant how quickly life can turn around.

But it my time to reach through heavens gates and fly,
To finally be with my lovely wife,
It feels so good to reunite,
And see how bright you really shine,
Feels like forever hello my love we meet again,
It has been a while where should we begin?

We been together five long years with a beautiful, gorgeous daughter,
She brings the child in both of us she our little joker,
There are never any regrets in the choices I made to be with you through all the arguments through all the obstacles and struggles from good time to bad,
To every emotion from joy and happiness even from anger and sad.

This is the hardest decision in my life that I ever had to make,
Splitting up isn’t going to be easy for the both of us to leave you and our daughter when the time come to be set apart,
I know the pain it going to cause me the hurt in my chest even though there going to be times my heart going to break,
But I just want to let you know that no matter what happens that I will always have a deep place of you in my heart.

You are so strong your capable of so many things you’ve broke obstacles and never realizes you have won them you have a big mind and so may dreams,
Through the mountain you must climb don’t give up no matter how hard it might seem,
You can do all things just keep your mind focus keep pushing through and the most important is that you got to believe,
I don’t want this to be the end of us even though we may be apart I still want to see your goal and see you live your dreams I still want to be there to see you achieve.

Just wanted to let you know for me leaving has to do with spiritual reasons you did nothing wrong and have no fault in this,
When this time comes for me being away, I have faith that our relationship can get stronger but if we don’t ever get back together, I understand and I hope that we can grow another relationship and become best friends and I hope when you are ready that you find love again and find the one,
You and especially our daughter has been the best thing that has ever happen to me you girls help me grow so much the man and father I’ve try to be everyday there no words that can describe how much you girls change my life you are beyond my bliss,
There something I do want to say that important and I’m going to real with you through the past five years I’ve been with you I have dealt with being accuse and blame of thing I had no fault in. The feeling of shame of treating you unfairly or encouragement I’ve try to give you but somehow you take it as a negative point of view, or the exhausting overwhelming feeling of your anxiety, fear, low self -esteem, depression and so on the things you fight within. I’m no angle myself but all the things you have put me through have taught me this is to be patient and that love is a choice, all these years that I’ve stayed is because I love you that much. Let’s pat ourselves on the back that it’s been five long great years with a twist that with all the struggles we overcame a lot together I feel like we’ve won.

P.S God love you unconditionally meaning when no one cares or when no one there when there no support or in life when you believe you don’t have a purpose or just don’t have a clue, ‘’God said before I formed you in your mother womb, I knew you.’’ (Jerimiah 1:5)
When you feel like there’s weight on your shoulder and life is hitting you hard and everything seems to be crashing down, with your head spinning round and round and feeling broken,
God holding your hand and he right there beside you if you give him a chance Jesus is the living water that can flow within you like the waves of a crystal blue ocean,
I will admit that you and I have both experience suffering and that we both have felt like we’ve been in a tunnel in complete dark,
But God is the light at the end of the tunnel and to see it and reach for it you simply must open your heart.

No matter what your decision you make in your life I’m truly happy for you of the things you’ve overcame and the person and mother you’ve become and much more I am, and God is proud,
So, a toast to the long journey we had together and possibly much more in the future to come but until then goodbye for now.

By: Jacob Cuadro

Dear little one,
The day I saw you born you pour out a light brighter than the sun.
A feeling that burst of happiness I never felt before,
How this can be; something so small and pure was going to be something I would never thought I would truly adore.

For one so small you seem so strong,
And I’ll protect you even in the middle of a storm,
I will sing over you a new song,
And do my best to keep you safe and warm.

You have so many years ahead of you and I don’t know what your future holds,
But one thing I do know is that you’re going to have a heart of gold,
Child of mine there so much you need to learn,
Life can be simple like if you play with fire you’ll get burn.

The key is to be patient to be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, (James 1:19)
I will teach you everything I know because it a gift to have knowledge and wisdom,
I want to see you grow and teach you how to be humble for beauty is on the inside and you can change the world with all your mind of splendor,
Spreading the world with kindness and love with all the colors of autumn.

The day you get older you’re going to have these emotion of mix feelings,
Days of happiness days of heart breaks it won’t be easy pain can get stronger while wombs slowly be healing,
But you won’t go through this alone I will be there to comfort you through all these emotion you never knew you had that these are natural and I’ll be the one to tell you that everything would be alright,
Always here with open arms whether you run to me with joy or need to cry on my shoulder I’ll be there to hold you tight.

So, I tell you this no matter what you go through enjoy every day and never give up never quit because if you want something in life hard work is what count not by a wish,
Bonding with you and living every moment to moment like reading you stories or tucking you in to bed or simply making you laugh are moment I cherish.
Above all this love is important because love is patient, love is kind… it always protect, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres love never fails (Corinthians 13:4-8) it’s pure and true,
My dear little one I may not be around through your whole journey for death is part of life but I tell you this and let this sink in please that you love one another, as I have loved you. (John 15:12)
Jacob Cuadro