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Jack R Fehlmann Mar 2021
It is a difficult
Dangerous

A state of other's
Whims and mercies

Warmer than closed
Offers.

Again, dangerous
Jack R Fehlmann Mar 2021
It is the face; So Blank
Absent and bleached ; So much so
prestinely, divided, neat.

I could use such order
As my pen howls

Her name; Ruin
rolls against this...
innocent page.

All its way; not mine. Hers
Just to remind or,
admit, I am in pain.
Jack R Fehlmann Feb 2021
There is a clear separation
I've seen between
Lies and imagination
That area in the middle
I found not empty
It's there that hopes,
Dreams and wishful thinking
Do their best to save me.
Jack R Fehlmann Feb 2021
The birth of a thought
Made to play
On my mind's eye screen
Always private showings
Has gray matter paints the scene
Of a life less alone
Kissing smiles and so much sunshine
Lives another version of me
He is counterweighted balanced
Though she remains faceless
This only compliments
And they are so trusting
One always lifting one always holding
Accepting and content such Bliss
My missing picture perfect
Inside weeping I admit I want this
Even when this is longing
A foolish thought forbidden wish
Lost and thought found damaged
A thought played then it ended and then it ended
Jack R Fehlmann Feb 2021
No line is clearly recognizable

Two sides to this mind; I know.

I am; am not the innocent, or to blame

We are taught what has been wrought

Our pixel washed minds; all have to be special

Pretend we decide; want to highlight struggles

Fight is all that comes from each needing to be seen as special.
Jack R Fehlmann Feb 2021
You are

The stirring in my breast

An aching need

My first and only wish

A place of perfect bliss

Every waking moment

Dread from which comes faith

My muse in times of reflection

Always out of reach

Fuel feeding the fire before it's quenched

The beating of my heart at it's last

An impression to mould a dream upon

The unobtainable desire

All I waste my writing upon

The dungeon in which I am trapped

Never seeing my worth

A friend and nothing else

I am

Too weak to accept this.
Jack R Fehlmann Feb 2021
The cool dark around me
Nothing but my inward light
Sightless I am in a state
Safe.  Wrapped in... This.
All that permeates is sound
Of life and living of outside
This blanket of solitude
My own weaving by design
To feel less.  To numb away
An afterthought perhaps
Occasionally recalled by others memory
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