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Jack R Fehlmann Jul 2020
Real these moments of self
Reasons written by a broken inside
Beautiful, and missing deeply
Jack R Fehlmann Jul 2020
I can afford no more to you
The oceans of solitary moments
Reversed and receding
Reveal to the few watching
Hulks gone under long ago
Vessels they denied lost
Broken and pulled beneath
How I felt about how you did not
Jack R Fehlmann Jul 2020
Have you ever been at a place in your life that makes you unhappy and there's nobody to blame but yourself?  

Ever appreciate the good things in life by understanding one day you will be through this?  It can't last forever.  

Had so much going on that is working towards the better tomorrow, at the cost of knowing yourself today?

Looked back at all those underappreciated moments, or the ones you let go of that didn't want to let go of you and couldn't even beat yourself up for it because you deserve this?  

Loneliness is a state of being that is often self induced.  Once in place it makes us waste ourselves on wishing it would change.

I need to change.  I need help.  Or else I can't say I'll ever be myself again.
Jack R Fehlmann Jul 2020
My eyes take in the chaos
The amounts are staggering
In every aspect of my life
It's as if I've invited disorder
Everywhere it collects
And I can't find reasons to fight
It's as if I've fallen apart.
Jack R Fehlmann Jul 2020
The blue-grey clouds  bleed south
Behind the agitated greens swaying
It seems the wind has picked up
The storm is on the horizon now
Inside is my reason for venturing
But I must stay strong and remain out
Away from the un wanting, uncaring
At a safe distance less my will collapse
Jack R Fehlmann Jul 2020
We, are one in the same
Now aren't we?  
Separate only behind
finger smudged glass
As together we seek
Likes or reread our writes
Eye to eye we try and try
To save the other
Writing to right wrongs
Felt inside most every night
Hello to you my reflection
What will we try this time
Will it be liked?
Jack R Fehlmann Jul 2020
When my life, time, this experience
Of mine is ended and I return home
I know that I impacted very little
No grand actions will my name be known for.  Not good or bad.  Most I've noticed are thought of, missed, mourned for, no more than two generations after passing and those are the very best of the best lived.  No I'm one to be quickly forgotten.  Save for my son.  I've as a friend been inattentive.  Lover? Well, short term.  Never the one.  Never ever after.  Family will miss me slightly more than others that have only barely bothered to attempt at learning anything about who I was.  Just my son.  That he will keep me in his heart is all the peace I can ask for.  All I will need at the time of passing.  Though if I taught him and it took he will miss me but when in memories find himself laughing.  As it was all I lived for was to see his joy or hear his laugh so I tried endlessly to create only the best, only the happy memories by which to own my legacy.
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