I let a fool hearted notion in

Same as before,
now I know it

That half of me, never quits

It only wants
as it does, love

Knows no end to patience

Feels not this ache,
nor this weight

Simply that the loss is not

The way the foolish man ends

So I suffer again
and I know it

the ****** up fact
that I'm an idiot.

Sweet bitterness is this recollection

I am hurting in countless ways

Outwardly this shell I witness
Has begun it's declining dive

To depth of self loathing deep

Knowing that I am alone

Still it is my own sadness

I hold on to even here at the end

The precipice I hesitate in aching

Mourning over my choices

Over you

Don't pretend to understand
The pain from my angle.
To your living you cannot  
No matter how pure you are
Good intentions and Well wishes
Are expected where as she,
They will be along
when least Expected.
I've given up so that proves this
As complete *******
Doesn't it?
You've got some one,  holding you down. I am only now starting to see
They all are better off without me.  
Only now dealing with never knowing
Real love, from the type to walk away.  
It's hard to be alright with if I die alone.  When.  I meet far far less that actually see me