Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Jack R Fehlmann Jun 2020
Two pools of grey blue envy
Are they, them,
flawed and positioned
Better at false ways
or lessoned

Lovers of the love
that loves me not
Or in her own words
crossed the lips
Perfect and missed,

now differently
Friends,
yes I miss this
so I accept

To listen
to how the others,
them, they
Meant so much
more,
then I will ever

Ever did, will know
though so polarized
are the views, the needs,

my own wants,
and never to be
desires us as
Friends,
co creators,
bound by legacy

But green eyes visions
of my measure
Never were as lofty
as ego whispered

I foolishly wanted,
I thought, I was enough,
to love to keep,
but...

Did she ever, once,
briefly, momentarily,
no... I think not.

I may look but not touch
Love
from distance,

and consider my luck
to be friends
and not lovers

They
fill out that place,
in her wants

What have I not,
that they replace.  
When love is all I know

and hold and so
the reason
I suffer and hurt anew
As friends
so close, but...
Not.
Jack R Fehlmann Jun 2020
I sit, feeling...
Thinking, witnessing
All too surreal,
Scenes playing out
Scenarios I've long
Long ago lost all hope
Of seeing outside dreams
This really is, isn't this?
The ease of familiarities
I know how much
How completely, intensely
I have prayed and wished
For this... As I am here
So are the two loves
I would die for, still, always
Finally, yet outside
I seem not to allow even
This living dream
Passed these ******* walls
I've hidden my best self
Away in.
Jack R Fehlmann Jun 2020
The manner of being human
The brilliant ability of self
To silently anguish inwardly
Emotions are unique to each
Love is a fine line to walk
From the best and happiest
To waiting, silently, holding hope
Gambling the time to be living
Waiting, with no guarantee
So hard to change your heart and what it wants harder to change someone else.
Jack R Fehlmann Jun 2020
All the combined parts of me
Agree that there might be something.
A new view on old ways same wants
Only part of me wants all at once
Another is any amount will do
The frightened part says caution
While my trusting part in me
already forgave you
There are areas of ego
Shallow as they can be
The combined whole of who I am
Who I was, who I want to be
All of them missed you.
Jack R Fehlmann Jun 2020
Reception is rabbit ears
Aluminum, patience, adjustment
A nudge, accidental lack of attention
The static dancing white noise, loud
Not as quiet as the ghostly pictures
Shadows and warped faces
Hand is gentle as it touches
And the image resolves, clarity
Light, sound, celebrating it..
Is..  not at all what you thought you'd been  watching?!
Jack R Fehlmann Jun 2020
Words do little to say
The gratitude I have
Still now and even then
In your wonderful workings
Thrilled and proud, smiling
Reflecting that you haven't changed
Conforming to never had done that
Because you awash in light
Colors all so fondly follow you
Contrasting completely
The boring world faded
Is in fact little, skewed now
No longer beside,
completely beneath
Jack R Fehlmann May 2020
In this world of misperception
False words and rotten actions
I strive to mirror You.  
Fearless with the owning
Judgements cast not by
But only upon wrongfully so
I am stunned and admittedly
Humbled, by such
an amazing truth
A light in darknesd
I look up to such
I aspire to try harder
Learning from you being you.
I am happy
Honored that I
Have a friend again
Thank you.
To an amazing individual that only knows how to embrac and live each day as that individual.  You are special and I wish I knew more like you.
Next page