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Jack R Fehlmann Nov 2018
Just the moments before dawn
Me, myself, wrapped in tight midnight fabrics
Reading to write, more or less
at a familiar  none creative not real
Losing always at this art of lost
But I miss her, I miss suzy.
And no word or rhyme will fix
That I tried too little though I tried.
Now those are the only prize.
Jack R Fehlmann Nov 2018
Awakened daylight demanding
Fresh eyes face life yet accepted
Better the unknown horizons
To ease the dreams just left
Though hurt lingering remains
Seemingly forever mine caught
By practiced smile though thin
Called upon when needed
Thoughts did not tame ruin dreams
Answering each occasion I fall
To awaken hoping to exercise these
Demons and lay this pain
Lively and open owning broken
As I am imperfect and ashamed
Today's eyes caused temporary relief
From the dreams loss causes
In secret and uninvited
Jack R Fehlmann Nov 2018
Life is much like a train ride
Getting aboard is being borne
With the scenery your life
At first the things seen roll by
Slowly, scene to scene
As the train gains its hold
And the speed grows
Those scenes grow to blurs
And they are there only if you focus
Then disappear in the distance
Followed by so much you missed
Then things slow
You desperately take in the view
Cause as they do you know
When this train stops its roll
End of its line
End of your line.
Seems to short and unfair
How quickly you arrived
How little you saw
Too little,  too late.
Jack R Fehlmann Nov 2018
I do believe we are even
Even as we balk about *******
The evidence is screaming
And words do little to camouflage
Disrespect as they implicate
This loss of decency is quiet
Abusing the trusting fool
upon the hearts of good men
Just the tender parts are eaten
So scars build in the empty spaces
Scars taste bitter and so too those men
Come upon the realization
In this type of heated conversation
Where voices raised are laced
Disbelief, comprehension, frustration
Weaving into acceptance and loss
Swearing not to be fooled again
Heart won't last, nothing left...
but it's beating
Jack R Fehlmann Nov 2018
Felt it in subtle way
Clues that she betrays
I move close though
She seems to go off away
I begin to see it
Even If she says different
We ain't going to make it
Welcome to the final days
Love this far gone
It won't be much longer
When i choose not to
And she keeps going
Welcome to the ending
This is where we are love.
Where i am
You just walk away.
The end.
Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2018
A little less heavenly grey
Tickling the wayward layman
Inticed through and through
Though thought comes exponential
A stark contrast to the fabric maiden
No flesh to be held as fragrance teases
To unending yearning brightly ignites
Very raNdom mind pours these lines
From and for my boredom
Whilst ou on the devices blink confused
Sorry if I wasted you time..
Goodbye then.
Jack R Fehlmann Oct 2018
To have list Her
And not fight
They, those, these
Words in my inner workings
words effectively warring
Resisting in silent protest
Festering, my needs plunder
As lines form into grey matter
That, these, they Me, myself, my mind
Until it fell to the numbers
Of versus and rewrites flanking
Blanket bombing me heartlessly
As such one is broken, pieces
Painfully calling for a medic
Where?medic! A that my place
As I've lost my heart anyway
I, me, my reasons unnoticed
white flag of defeat ineffective
too soaked in the greys and blues
The opaque army colors of Loss
Who, whom, Her!  and... Words fallen
My gaze falls in behind their descent
Of fire and black boiling javelins
Plummet,  stretch to drive
These, they, those memories
of bayonet like effectiveness run through.
This, the, my,
Last heart as my mind
With no desire, need, drive
And the war to find how best to write
For,of, about, Her...
Slips beyond the fabric of my time here
To hide bits and pieces,
I will like to be reminded one day
Not however today, no
Today I surrender to the waves
And force of emotions such loss causes.
Under boots of goodbye
And destroyers staffing lines
Echoing why why why
I wasn't good enough.  ...
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