"Where do you see yourself in ten years?"

That question took me off my very well reinforced guard.
My palms start feeling a little bit sweaty.
I hope they don't notice me starting to breathe faster.

Ten years?
I see myself being totally alone,
Maybe even dead, honestly.
I have that faulty heart.
I think it's getting worse...

Ten years?
I can't see myself past tomorrow,
Worthless as I am.
Ten years is incomprehensible to me.
Literally, I can't comprehend it!

"In ten years, I hope to have made myself a better man. To be someone admired and respected, with a deeper understanding of morals and values."

I lied through my teeth...
I'm such a wreck.

Withering away and fading,
This game I'm tired of playing,
It's only been you I've been craving,
Love is what I'm trying to be saying.

Beach ***** fall down,
Like I fell for you,
Cuz' you're my crown,
I want you to know it's true.

So here I am on a knee,
Begging for you to see,
That I love you, I love you.

So here I am on a knee,
Begging you to see,
That I love you, I love you,
Baby come to me.

You told me,
You loved me.
Finally.
You said you loved me,
That I was all you ever wanted.
And my heart soared ten thousand fathoms high.

But I woke up,
And panicked.
It was just a dream.

Heart whispered to a coldness,
Frozen in a deep frenzy of isolation,
Departed from love,
Departed from hate.

Glaringly flawed from the start,
With a smell of rotten tomatoes,
Too far from peace,
Too far from hope.

Pallbearers hum colloquial serenades,
Casket battered and maimed,
Hazy memories,
Hazy memories...

Violent dreams curse my vain tries at sleeping,
**** and death await my closed eyes,
Like a siege schemed by my mind,
Not letting me forget I'm always dead.

My thoughts, still waking, slip to slumbering darkness,
Terrified of the horrors my mind generates.

Zombies don't eat brains;
Demons do.