My stomach hurts
****
Thinking about driving
Into the blurry red of br(e)ak(e) lights.
Im doing exactly
What you tell me not to
Why why why
I’m worse than nothing
Now there’s dark clouds on my robin’s egg sky
Bruises in my snowy mountains
Decay in my wooden heart
Maybe it was like that from the start
I don’t know
So leave me
Leave me baby
I’m a sickening excuse of a human being

my love is citrus fruit
and an angel’s wings
cherry lips and blossoms spring

my love is pomegranate rubies
and clouds soft and fluffy
pure desire and mellow honey

my lover is a dark night sky
and a warm pink morning
a rainy afternoon and a snowy storming
a ****** petal’s dew
a bird’s sweet courting
a chorus that we sing
a view worth adoring

my love is a whisper
and soft feeling in the fingers
warm cinnamon and a mocha taste that lingers

a rotten hole
in heart that has died
suddenly fills with butterflies

leaves that quiver
flowers that bloom
from the ruins
of the tomb

from the carcass
grows green vines
who’s bitter grapes
make sweet wine

everything’s gone wrong
nothing is right
and yet we kiss
and hold tight

to frail hands
and battered bones
until the end
until everything goes

My innocence was lost in the span of 30 minutes at most
I fell asleep in your bed and suddenly you melted me like sweet sundaes
Hot and stinging like a macchiato
You made a simple request and I’m a good boy so I’ll make you proud
Choking on sour candy was too much, my ***** made it bitter
Today is the best day ever, clouds high, blinds low, I smile and bare it
My gray utility pants around my thighs
My keys: a bell ringing lightly
My face in the sheets, everything red pansies and cinnamon bears
[It] was cotton and metal and salt in my mouth
Glitter glue filled my veins and I lay still, catching my butterflies
Flooding my lungs
Pull me back and simply rest for a while
You’re a ****** kisser
After, I bled in the toilet, my head in my hands
No tears- I just looked at myself in the mirror, my hair ******, my eyes wide and diluted
Realizing

LA and part japanese 4 foot 11 boy-girl
hushed pet names and laughs and [that].
quiet about your mother and step mother
and you spend - days - in your room shut
alone with no food water company etc just
your fist and your laptop hot on your bare
thighs the fan whirring louder than your
hands and the skin and whatever else you
do and im sorry i get red and i push and i
pound and im sorry it seems like you want
it. just tell me how to love you because i
dont know how and its hurting everything

well yeah man, it's like-
you take a drag, inhale.
your eyes sink and i watch your lips
part slightly and let out a trail of smoke
but your words get lost in my mouth
because i sit up and kiss you
it's sort of slow and feverish
and i climb in your lap and chase it
automatically like a moth to a flame
twisting i almost smile, i lick your teeth
-like this ? i not quite growl
you forgot everything but this moment
but you nod anyway
and i see some indescribable want or need
some days i can't tell the difference
i guess i like you like me
i watch you sit and smoke
every breath you seem a little farther
when you're done you grab me
pull me away into your room
i lie on the bed and taste incense
you look back as music plays
then join me silently and pull me on top
i rest over you like a misshapen blanket
and you get too hot
you look so far gone deep out in space
floating somewhere under me
your eyes glazed and our thighs
it must feel so great to be treated like this
someone to keep you safe
and do anything you say
and selfishly i tried making you mine
but your and my bruises healed
sometimes i wish they had stayed

this isn't a callout since he's a minor
but we wanted to warn you of his past actions
we do not believe he will change anytime soon

Trigger/Content warnings:
emotional manipulation, suicide, self harm, r slur, n slur, d slur, r//dsk//n slur, c//ntb//y slur, death threats, grooming, violence, racefaking, blackface, disrespecting boundaries/triggers, misgendering, deadnaming, abuse, sexualization of minors and abusive relationships, cheating, antiblack racism, racism against indigenous people, racism against Asian people, Japanese imperialism, alcohol, underage drinking, transmisogyny, transphobia, intersexism, antisemitism, ******

proceed with caution

happy went to a psych ward when he was 12
he has always struggled with [himself]
i knew he was hurting but not until he lashed out
every year he spent christmas away from home with a basket of clothes
i know he he he he i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i know i

how much could change in just one year