written in another language, but means the same thing
i clutched the paper with both hands
as if someone could swipe it away at any second
but there's no one here
and there never was

i closed my eyes
and softly whispered to myself
i whispered the truth
i whispered the lies
but i also whispered things that were neither

with each word
i thought of the paper
and how it meant everything
but it was nothing special
just a paper with words on it

after all this paper is what i need
it will give me a second chance at life
it's kind of like a restart
but i didn't think of the consequences
until it was too late

memories rushed back too quick
flashes of my childhood
things that were long forgotten
things that i buried deep in thought
now surfaced and it's too vivid

these memories screamed at me
and i began to scream back
and then something else flashed

dreams.
oh, those dreams.

i shut down completely after that
i stopped cursing the words
a restart is no longer needed
there's too many things
that i havn't done yet

i crumpled up the paper

A darkness sprinkled with light
Are we sharing or are we thieves in the night?
Do we tread the same stars?
Do we tip toe on eachothers moon or
slide down the same comets?
Millions of scattered beacons floating in the dark
Do we perhaps unknowingly
cross paths leaping over black hole hearts?
or is this my sky, my infinity
and you a shadow thought escaped from my mind
just a figment a ghostly filament glowing
a beacon of hope amongst the endless stars?
no, I have felt the warmth of your foot prints
on countless shining stars,
perhaps Even only a step in front or a toe behind
chasing your ghostly memory
till we finally meet on the same
wishing star sharing infinite times
till then let the star dust fall
as our heavenly bodies stir
sharing the same darkness sprinkled with light
ever a step in front,
or a toe behind...

I saw myself bursting
with light in a town so
small, and in that moment
i wanted to photograph my
soul.

Be my distraction.
Distract me from life.
Distract me from friends
that make me feel excluded from everything.
Distract me from family
who my mother's driven away,  
who i see few times a year.  
who still hold pity for my loss
as if it wasn't theirs too.
Distract me from compliments
that i automatically think are sarcastic
Distract me from insults
that i respond to with smiles and laughs
because i have too much heart
to make a person feel bad,
and too many insecurities
to break down to people.
Distract me from intelligence
because everyone i surround myself with
is either significantly more or less intelligent than i am
Distract me from choices
because i've lost my sense of leadership,
i'd rather someone make a choice for me ,
be it wrong or right,
and deal with any consequence,
than spend half of my life
trying to pick one.
Distract me from future,
because i still dont know what to do with mine.
because i can only see negative, or see nothing.
Distract me from past,
because i live in it. Because i can't deal with the pain,
the memories constantly reminding me of
how good things once were, all of my grief and all of the feelings
that i didn't feel.
Distract me from you,
i'm over-thinking you, you're a good distraction,
but how can one attempt
to open their mind to possibilities
with it set on any one thing?
Distract me from everything.
I'd give up
my "open mind" ambition
to be distracted by you.
To just be with you, walking, talking, laying, doing anything or nothing,
and not think, for once in my life.