My fears have been made real. And in them, I've become whole.
My deepest wounds have healed by trusting in Him alone.

Three years today. Three years, I have fought.
I've been battered and worn. Sold and Traded. But finally, I've been bought.

I was purchased with blood, resurrected by grace, every time I fell.
I fought so hard, lost so much, and wandered through my own hell.

I never had the weapons I needed. Never had the strength I pursued.
Starving in mind, spirit, and flesh, I could never find any food.

Angels came along the way to direct me where to go.
To lead me back to the One I know. Leading me back home.

The road was long. The journey was far. Several times, I lost my way.
Even now, my destination is far. But I've finally seen the break of day.

In faith, I'm being remade. With love, I've learned to rebuild.
With what I've lost and rediscovered, my heart has been refilled.

And we stumble
and fall and laugh
and look into
each other's eyes.
We were there on the
ground, alone and
enjoying each
other's company.
The kind of silence
there was, was beautiful
in so many ways
I couldn't explain.
It was 11:59 and I
woke up, missing you.
You were long gone,
and I haven't moved on.

1:07 a.m.
wake up
shake

it's foreign
my legs are being clung to
i just want you to let go
it's a beg,
it's a cry for help
in the back of a black suburban
a scary place
where headlights are not used
a hand cannot be seen an inch in front of you
but somehow my body is found
and you invade
without permission
the words to shout
"Please stop"

3:34 a.m.
wake up
shake

sitting on the rotting dock
the cloth i wear
falling through
the salty rain
burns my cuts
lashed
the Norman in the yellow boots
and the white beard
retrieves my soul
he is not the gangster
who disturbed me before

4:56 a.m.
wake up
shake

powering into the church
stumbling over the invisible crutch
nothing more strange
it's a place i've rarely been
all eyes are on me
they know i am the spawn
of the heathen
but all i can do is cry
into the open arms of the church goers
and explain my long travels
and running away
the horrid torture that has reached my city

6:21 a.m.
wake up
shake

the white beat up car
holds a young mom
with her baby
who just stares at me with envy
as if i hadn't just been hurt like she
my parentals were called
and i was on my way out
something the young mom seemed
to have never seen

I was a single grain of coffee
floating in the porcelain mug
that was your heart

there's a friend of mine
full of love and kind
when you see her
you'll know what I mean
the light baths her in a aura
of warmth and calmness
whatever troubles you
she will soothe you with her smile
her eyes watch, intense
retaining your thoughts
for another conversation.
with all that is put upon her
she stands steadfast,always listening
I know she too is hurting,her life
not perfect
as we layer our thoughts upon
one another,compare notes
our relationship will never waiver
for friendship is love without rules

i see you in my dreams
i know you're there
somewhere
waiting for me
waiting for us
i know your heart will surrender
in the first sight
to my kisses, to my love