I think the reason,
I don't fight anymore,
Is because every time I did,
They told me to give in,
And somewhere along the way,
I listened

Drowning in my sorrow,
With nowhere to go,
There's no up or down,
Just the weight,
Of recent events,
Crushing my chest,
Suffocating me,
While I wait,
For something, someone,
To ease the burden,
And hold the pieces together,
Before they fall to the floor,
Where I lie,
Longing for something so simple,
For an embrace that says it all:
I love you,
I'm not going to leave you,
We'll get through it together,
Just something that's real,
That doesn't slip through my fingers,
Leaving me with a handful,
Of empty air

I'll be falling again,
Dripping,
Tripping on gravity,
And cold footsteps,
High on wonder-lust,
Lost amongst white salvation,
With my black rubble hands,
Pawing at heaven

I wonder how I feel,
Within those hands,
Am I as cold,
As I remember feeling,

Do the scars,
Hollow your fingertips,
As they trace,
The rips clawed into my flesh,

I wonder how I feel,
When I'm beneath you,
Am I bones and blood,
Under the webs,

Do the tears match,
The texture of my veins,
As your nails chase,
That hollow pulse

I wonder,
At the world,
Far more beautiful,
Drowned in rainfall,
Than the too-bright sunshine,
I wonder,
Where is the happiness?

Under my lids,
We pull blankets,
Over the plaster sky,
And sleep away time

You fill me
with a love so strong,
it could bring me to pieces.
You fill me
with joy.

Tomorrow I will dream,
And the carbon sky will fade,
Finally revealing that blue wonder,
I have missed for so long

I wish I could make music with my words
and spin a beautiful arpeggio, piano-piano web:
a breath-taking composition of minor cords
and soft leaps over thick ivory keys
that sing under my fingers.

I wish I could create an embrace
entirely of music. An embrace to hold
and to love and to kiss sweet, sweet joy
right into your ears.

Clothed in endless fibers of unsolved equations,
my skin is every A, B, C+ I've ever had.
My tongue and teeth carved from
over-used quotations.
Hair of flowing shreds of wasted time.
Eyes of burnt projector lights.
Red ink corrections on my lips.
I wear my science textbook heart on my sleeve,
dissected and un-beating
in your unyielding grasp.

Lie with me on my un-made bed,
So I'll have a place,
To rest my troubled head,
As your heart beats fast,
I'll run with you,
Through the sunsets,
And milleniums of grey,
So we can spend centuries,
We'll sleep on lonely shores,
Forever more, together,
Don't have to care about the past,
The present is all we know,
I'll bury my worries,
Safe with yours,
In the November Snow

Soar o'er the sky,
Paint feathers on the clouds,
Breathe life,
Into the hollows,
Of the waxen, silver moon,
Fall like tears,
Brightness rippling on the ocean,
Gold in the summer sand,
Be not forgotten,
To the violet sky,
A mirror shattered,
By the lightning in your eyes,
Your eyes filled with shards,
Glass and broken stars,
Grace the birds with sun

I've been feeling this way.
For days now,
So sick inside,
From chills to fevers,
Stomach turning over,
Shaken,
So hot I'm cold,
Unsure if I can hold back,
The acid in my throat,
I'm in knots,
Twisted and queasy,
I'm not sick,
I'm just looking at you

A humble void, announced
by glaring, violent neon.
Glowing between the bones
of dusk and reborn light.
You wander between the space
of almost and not quite.
You are never quite, never quiet.

I hope you're all cut up,
seeing the red between
the lines. I hope you're
seeing me when you fake
it with her. I hope you're seeing
my reds on her whites. I
hope you **** her up just like
the last one. I hope you ****
her up, just like me.

I hope you're all cut up,
just reading this.

You call to me,
From above,
Patience riddled with desperation,
While I slumber,
Waiting in Death's anxious hand,
Your gentle voice awakens something,
I thought it to be dead,
But hope arises,
I thought us both conquered,
But you breathe air,
Into my fragile lungs,
Reviving lost hope,
Stealing me away,
From Death's inpenetrable clutches,
With your passion

I don't want to be,
Amazing,
Just something,
More than yet,
Another face,
To someone,
Who meant everything

Tears fall like dew drops in the morning,
Love recalls the early hours of the dawning,
Of the fire,
In our hearts,
In our eyes,
As we lost sight of what we've won,
In our minds,
In our souls,
See how far we've come to fall,
How far we have to fall,
We have to run,
To hold on

I am trapped.
I am paralysed
by my own vile thoughts.

You hate me?
I hate myself.

I wrap my arms,
Tightly around,
My empty, shaking self,
Struggling to breathe,
Aching,
Inside and out,
So desperate,
For his promise,
And Death's mercy

I want to know where you are,
While I'm thinking about him,
While I wonder why it feels so wrong,
When he says my name,
Why my heart doesn't beat when you do,

I don't want him to say anything,
I want you to say everything,
I want you to tell me we'll be fine,

Why does it feel so fake,
When he holds my hand,
And asks what's wrong,
Why do I wish you were him,
That he was gone, and you,
In his place,
A much better fit,
Walking into the sunset,
As I watch from heaven above

Lying awake for days,
All the things I'd like to know,
Do you ever feel alone,
You've never been alone,
Bleeding from the scars,
You drew, they never closed,
They never closed

I'm drowning in emotion,
That you're not feeling,
I'm falling apart,
'Cause you can't see this,
I'll break my own heart,
If it makes you smile,
But I've been keeping quiet,
Far too long

Inquisition of the sunsets,
All the doubts I'll keep at bay,
How could you not ponder,
If we're falling the right way,
You could be the lies,
Fuelling all this pain,
It never ends

I'm drowning in emotion,
That you're not feeling,
I'm falling apart,
'Cause you can't see this,
I'll break my own heart,
If it makes you smile,
But I've been keeping quiet,
Far too long

So here we'll lie,
In the darkness,
Does it matter at all,
How hard we try,
To pick up the pieces

I'm drowning in emotion,
That you're not feeling,
I'm falling apart,
'Cause you can't see this,
I'll break my own heart,
If it makes you smile,
But I've been keeping quiet,
Far too...
(repeat chorus)

I've been keeping quiet,
Far too long

The icy sting shocks me into consciousness,
and the water weighs heavy on my lashes.
I blink away the soft blurred white
and the sink is bleached and
clinical as the water rushes
over it's slick, porcelain skin.
The coolness traces the blood-rush red
of my crippled fingers, and slowly, I crumble.

There's something sinister,
Behind those eyes,
Lurking, waiting, preying,
Dancing between the whites,
And the lines,
Glowing with a passion,
That could only be fueled,
By your taste for vengeance,
A parasitic blend,
Of monster and man

He penetrates stone walls,
And sees the truth,
Behind the lies,
And the empty smile,

There is something beyond,
Laughter,
Something dark,
Something hollow and broken,

Layered with dust,
Lies the grave,
Of what was once,
Happiness

I'm standing,
On my own now,
In the rain now,

It's been a long time,
Since I saw you,
Since we last spoke,

And now I need to know,
Where you are,
Where you were,

You promised to hold me,
When they lost me,
When they found me,

You made your vow,
To close my eyes,
To guide me home,

But I'm alone now,
I'm alone.

My mind fills,
With perfect things,
Perfect things,
That used to belong with someone else
Maybe they're not so perfect...

He takes my hand,
Runs his fingers,
Through the broken veins,
Whispering the same words,
The lies that caught me,
Every time,
He fills my mind,
With sleepless nights,
Listening for Death's sirens,
As our blood stains the floor,
Red bleach filled with poison,
He finds my eyes,
Keep them closed,
I keep them closed,
To hide his tears,
To keep from drowning,
I turn away from yesterday

Why do we destroy ourselves?

Why do we live?




Why do I love you.

Wash the blood from your teeth;
you're all in pieces,
taking us in pieces,
to become your own.

Pull the dirt from your nails;
you are not whole.
We've always been empty
behind the illusion.

Cut the colour from your eyes,
stop beating.
I wish I could pull the stopper
and call you a monster.

You're closer, almost
in reach of my senses. Your
familiar sting on my skin,
that touch I could never quite
trust. Don't let me breathe
you in.

Hope eats away,
At my insides,
Hollow though they are,
It burns through it all,
Desperately,
A sickness fills my heart,
Nauseating,
A chilling fever,
Freezing the emptiness,
'Til everything melts away,
And I'm screaming,
For nothing

I love the way,
He says goodnight,
Like there's no such thing,
As goodbye,
He drives me wild,
With his clarity and perception,
It's in the way,
He clouds my direction,
And takes control,
So effortlessly,
He's exactly who,
I wanted him to be

I'm sorry,
For running to you,
When you have so much else,
Someone else to fix,
But what else can I do?
And when you see,
These tears,
You hold my hand anyway,
And ease the heavy burden,
That's when I know,
It's okay

It's all crashing down around me,
Buildings falling over hollow foundations,
The sky, collapsing into itself,
The shadows surround me,
My world, coming to an end

I don't want to make,
These same mistakes,
Yet again,
So I'm leaving,
Don't speak,
I know what you'll say,
You need to let me,
Move on,
Do the same,
Just don't try,
To put us back,
Together again