How many people have I known;
taking them into me,
speaking that universal, ancient language
of intimate bodies.
All the beds I've slept in,
all the hands that have felt me move
as I dance the age old dance.

I met him once,
under a hazy night
that leaked gasoline.
He looked like light,
but he was fire.

You were so close,
I could feel your weight,
Your hand on my shoulder,
Your words were foreign,
But the message clear,
Aged, yet so full of life,
I would have died,
To give you one more moment,
A goodbye,
It wasn't your time

Twist
                                 and twirl
     and dance
                   and leap
                                                    and fly
            and sink
                                       and crash
                                                           ­ and fall
                      and break
     and cry
                                                  love
      ­                                                           and die.

Why do we destroy ourselves?

Why do we live?




Why do I love you.

Walking,
I feel my weight,
So strangely weightless,
Yet heavy at the same time,
Crowded is this room,
Full of strange faces,
None but a few familiar,

Walking,
I feel so alone,
Even amongst this crowd,
So large, so loud,
Wishing for a place,
Secluded and tranquil,
To lie beside you,
Confide in you this feeling,
A place to belong with you,
In your strong - yet cautious - arms,

But I am walking

You fill me
with a love so strong,
it could bring me to pieces.
You fill me
with joy.

Lie with me on my un-made bed,
So I'll have a place,
To rest my troubled head,
As your heart beats fast,
I'll run with you,
Through the sunsets,
And milleniums of grey,
So we can spend centuries,
We'll sleep on lonely shores,
Forever more, together,
Don't have to care about the past,
The present is all we know,
I'll bury my worries,
Safe with yours,
In the November Snow

I hope you're all cut up,
seeing the red between
the lines. I hope you're
seeing me when you fake
it with her. I hope you're seeing
my reds on her whites. I
hope you **** her up just like
the last one. I hope you ****
her up, just like me.

I hope you're all cut up,
just reading this.

I wonder how I feel,
Within those hands,
Am I as cold,
As I remember feeling,

Do the scars,
Hollow your fingertips,
As they trace,
The rips clawed into my flesh,

I wonder how I feel,
When I'm beneath you,
Am I bones and blood,
Under the webs,

Do the tears match,
The texture of my veins,
As your nails chase,
That hollow pulse

You call to me,
From above,
Patience riddled with desperation,
While I slumber,
Waiting in Death's anxious hand,
Your gentle voice awakens something,
I thought it to be dead,
But hope arises,
I thought us both conquered,
But you breathe air,
Into my fragile lungs,
Reviving lost hope,
Stealing me away,
From Death's inpenetrable clutches,
With your passion

The coldness settles,
Surrounding me,
I shrink into the fog,
Letting the frost,
Eat out my eyes,
And turn my world,
To grey,
As the winter grows,
Inside me

The icy sting shocks me into consciousness,
and the water weighs heavy on my lashes.
I blink away the soft blurred white
and the sink is bleached and
clinical as the water rushes
over it's slick, porcelain skin.
The coolness traces the blood-rush red
of my crippled fingers, and slowly, I crumble.

I'll be falling again,
Dripping,
Tripping on gravity,
And cold footsteps,
High on wonder-lust,
Lost amongst white salvation,
With my black rubble hands,
Pawing at heaven

Clothed in endless fibers of unsolved equations,
my skin is every A, B, C+ I've ever had.
My tongue and teeth carved from
over-used quotations.
Hair of flowing shreds of wasted time.
Eyes of burnt projector lights.
Red ink corrections on my lips.
I wear my science textbook heart on my sleeve,
dissected and un-beating
in your unyielding grasp.

Under my lids,
We pull blankets,
Over the plaster sky,
And sleep away time

Drowning in my sorrow,
With nowhere to go,
There's no up or down,
Just the weight,
Of recent events,
Crushing my chest,
Suffocating me,
While I wait,
For something, someone,
To ease the burden,
And hold the pieces together,
Before they fall to the floor,
Where I lie,
Longing for something so simple,
For an embrace that says it all:
I love you,
I'm not going to leave you,
We'll get through it together,
Just something that's real,
That doesn't slip through my fingers,
Leaving me with a handful,
Of empty air

Tomorrow I will dream,
And the carbon sky will fade,
Finally revealing that blue wonder,
I have missed for so long

A humble void, announced
by glaring, violent neon.
Glowing between the bones
of dusk and reborn light.
You wander between the space
of almost and not quite.
You are never quite, never quiet.

I want to know where you are,
While I'm thinking about him,
While I wonder why it feels so wrong,
When he says my name,
Why my heart doesn't beat when you do,

I don't want him to say anything,
I want you to say everything,
I want you to tell me we'll be fine,

Why does it feel so fake,
When he holds my hand,
And asks what's wrong,
Why do I wish you were him,
That he was gone, and you,
In his place,
A much better fit,
Walking into the sunset,
As I watch from heaven above

I wonder,
At the world,
Far more beautiful,
Drowned in rainfall,
Than the too-bright sunshine,
I wonder,
Where is the happiness?

I live my life from one encounter to the next;
the way a ****** lives for his next pay check.
I need my fix and every moment in between is nothing,
every moment is empty until I'm beneath you.

Sometimes I don't recognise
my own frayed edges; that pale
painted-faced girl slung on the
mirror's edge, the shadow I have become.

Soar o'er the sky,
Paint feathers on the clouds,
Breathe life,
Into the hollows,
Of the waxen, silver moon,
Fall like tears,
Brightness rippling on the ocean,
Gold in the summer sand,
Be not forgotten,
To the violet sky,
A mirror shattered,
By the lightning in your eyes,
Your eyes filled with shards,
Glass and broken stars,
Grace the birds with sun

I've been feeling this way.
For days now,
So sick inside,
From chills to fevers,
Stomach turning over,
Shaken,
So hot I'm cold,
Unsure if I can hold back,
The acid in my throat,
I'm in knots,
Twisted and queasy,
I'm not sick,
I'm just looking at you

You're closer, almost
in reach of my senses. Your
familiar sting on my skin,
that touch I could never quite
trust. Don't let me breathe
you in.

Lying awake for days,
All the things I'd like to know,
Do you ever feel alone,
You've never been alone,
Bleeding from the scars,
You drew, they never closed,
They never closed

I'm drowning in emotion,
That you're not feeling,
I'm falling apart,
'Cause you can't see this,
I'll break my own heart,
If it makes you smile,
But I've been keeping quiet,
Far too long

Inquisition of the sunsets,
All the doubts I'll keep at bay,
How could you not ponder,
If we're falling the right way,
You could be the lies,
Fuelling all this pain,
It never ends

I'm drowning in emotion,
That you're not feeling,
I'm falling apart,
'Cause you can't see this,
I'll break my own heart,
If it makes you smile,
But I've been keeping quiet,
Far too long

So here we'll lie,
In the darkness,
Does it matter at all,
How hard we try,
To pick up the pieces

I'm drowning in emotion,
That you're not feeling,
I'm falling apart,
'Cause you can't see this,
I'll break my own heart,
If it makes you smile,
But I've been keeping quiet,
Far too...
(repeat chorus)

I've been keeping quiet,
Far too long

I wrap my arms,
Tightly around,
My empty, shaking self,
Struggling to breathe,
Aching,
Inside and out,
So desperate,
For his promise,
And Death's mercy

My mind fills,
With perfect things,
Perfect things,
That used to belong with someone else
Maybe they're not so perfect...

Tears fall like dew drops in the morning,
Love recalls the early hours of the dawning,
Of the fire,
In our hearts,
In our eyes,
As we lost sight of what we've won,
In our minds,
In our souls,
See how far we've come to fall,
How far we have to fall,
We have to run,
To hold on

Hope eats away,
At my insides,
Hollow though they are,
It burns through it all,
Desperately,
A sickness fills my heart,
Nauseating,
A chilling fever,
Freezing the emptiness,
'Til everything melts away,
And I'm screaming,
For nothing

The winter winds,
The grey skies,
Exactly as I remember,
It seems I never left

He penetrates stone walls,
And sees the truth,
Behind the lies,
And the empty smile,

There is something beyond,
Laughter,
Something dark,
Something hollow and broken,

Layered with dust,
Lies the grave,
Of what was once,
Happiness

I don't want to be,
Amazing,
Just something,
More than yet,
Another face,
To someone,
Who meant everything

In the stillness of moonlight,
punctuated by your steady exhale
and the brief swell of your chest,
I sunk into your warmth.
Encased in your arms,
I felt myself slipping into a feeling
that I had almost forgotten.
Like a child with her ear
pressed to the whorl of a seashell,
I lost myself in the drumming beneath your ribs.

I'm standing,
On my own now,
In the rain now,

It's been a long time,
Since I saw you,
Since we last spoke,

And now I need to know,
Where you are,
Where you were,

You promised to hold me,
When they lost me,
When they found me,

You made your vow,
To close my eyes,
To guide me home,

But I'm alone now,
I'm alone.