i s a b e l l a: Favorites

Jul 2014 i s a b e l l a

pluie d'été

what is
the opposite
of loneliness?

i am alone
on the top
of a hill
in the spring

i have fallen back
from my friends
my toes
curling
in sands of time
moving
with the tide

i am in a room
full of intelligent
funny people
whose pitch
matches my own

i'm lying
on the dew laden grass
of my garden
and staring at the sky
with his fingers
ensnaring
my own
anchoring
me
to the spinning
earth

what is the opposite
of loneliness?

maybe no one has felt it
and that is why
no one can tell

Jul 2014 i s a b e l l a

my favourite colour

Jul 2014 i s a b e l l a

pluie d'été

my favourite colour

you keep saying
that the colour
of loneliness
is blue

and that the opposite
must be orange

if this is true
i want to be
lonely forever
with you

because blue
darling
is my favourite colour

Jul 2014 i s a b e l l a

a book is not an escape

Jul 2014 i s a b e l l a

pluie d'été

a book is not an escape

i do not read
to lock myself
away
or to hide
nestled between
printed pages

a book is not an escape

because i don't read
to forget
why my heart is shattered
or to chase away
the eyes
that haunt me
at night

a book is not an escape

i do not read to be transported
from this world
to another
leaving it all
behind

a book is not an escape

i do not read
with the intention to laugh
or to cry
or to fall in love
with the ideals of a lie

a book is not an escape

i do not read
for the wings words give me
or the ability to breathe
under waves

a book is not an escape

i do not read
to be able to feel
or to get wiser
(a contradiction)
or to be free
or captured
in the bars
created
by adjectives

a book is not an escape

i only read to be me

Jul 2014 i s a b e l l a

secrets

Jul 2014 i s a b e l l a

pluie d'été

secrets

we all make the main characters
in the stories we write
have blue eyes
if ours are green
brown eyes
if ours are blue
and hazel
if they're grey

just so that
no one can tell

whose secrets
line the pages
in our favourite font

Jul 2014 i s a b e l l a

The fall

Jul 2014 i s a b e l l a

rained-on parade

The fall

You fell in love with me.

I just hope you jumped.
Not slipped.

Jul 2014 i s a b e l l a

dream 6/13/14, rapacious REM**

Jul 2014 i s a b e l l a

spysgrandson

dream 6/13/14, rapacious REM**

I dreamed
of your funeral
someone told me
to remove my hat,
in such scared space
with all those amputated flowers,
***** pipe moans, and
necromancing neckties

you spoke; you assured me
I did not have to expose
my naked head, or any other secrets
for you knew them all, as did those
among whom you now "walked"

others yet stared at me
with chastising eyes
admonishing me to uncover my head
for I was still among them they said…

they could not hear you or feel your breath
making the hairs stand on the back of my neck,
if they could, they would have let me be

they would have known
you did not demand truth
it was all around you, and even stripped of my hat
and forced to endure the sun's glaring revelations
we woeful walkers would yet be in darkness,
in this waking dream, imagining light
from a place that had none
I dreamed of your funeral…

**REM is rapid eye movement, the stage of sleep in which our most vivid dreams occur. Written on my phone during my recent travels--the only words I wrote or read in a dozen days. Perhaps I will wake up soon. A dream is just a dream.

#dream #death #funeral #ghosts

Jul 2014 i s a b e l l a

ironic

Jul 2014 i s a b e l l a

morgan

ironic

isn't it ironic
how everything
that has saved you
has left you
bawling on the floor
of your bedroom
with the door
barricaded shut,
thinking nothing but
horrible thoughts.

Jul 2014 i s a b e l l a

ironic

Jul 2014 i s a b e l l a

Joseph the Dreamer

ironic

Apparently
I am a blade with no edge
"useless tool"
She said it because I cut her.

Jul 2014 i s a b e l l a

ironic

Jul 2014 i s a b e l l a

Mason