painted by sunshine and beers with lime
I'll take my ankles grazed by mounds of sand
with a simple soothing crash of bubbles.
The only place I feel at home outside of my own mind
you can find me opening cans with the ******,
sipping down warm breeze to **** our troubles.

If there was a place, I'd go
If it was a heart, I'd take it
I dream too much for wishing
A ceaseless wandering
And where should I stop
There is a rift, it is a cliff
I want to jump, I will
While I fall, I float
Landing blissfully in my dreams
Swept away

Music came singing to the sky
It seemed none could sing or fly so high
maybe some birds
like children's laughter
a forgotten eternal spring,
a happiness
that comes and goes 
forever calling
one home

As if out from a tunnel
the first light deafens silence
wings unfold the soul - whispering
Plain truth in words unspoken
so precious the moments
of being unbroken

So soon the rains come
wet, washing
another path  
home

I still repeat words you said to me over in my head.
And now I only speak in tongues,
For few understand the ramblings of a loveless madman.

I was running,
You were chasing,
You ran out of breath,
I never realised you'd given up.

We are hopeless lovers
Distraught in worlds of unimaginable alone-ness
And I only want you.
I only want you.
And you are not here.

While everyone was busy ******* around

(Hey, she's a *****. That dude? So hot.
That chick is so **** ****, it's crazy
I want her. I want him. Just kidding. L-O-L
Dude, she was so harsh on me, like W-T-F
She was a major wannabe *****. ***** her
He was ugly as sin. What the hell did I ever
See in a ******* like him?
I am going to ruin his/her life),

I was busy ******* my own life up
Guzzling up words, words, words
Drinking them in, guilty as a desperado
Bad, good- hardly made a ******* difference
When I'd been at it for a few minutes already
(whatever, hours to you)

Insatiable- that's me
I want more. Give me more.
I want to read more-more-more
Going to combust
More words! More!
This is too less already! More!
Everyday- 16 hours straight
I need to read more
It's all that I have, am
No one can take it away from me
No one!
I won't let them!
I'll go at them with knives, blades, guns
I'll **** myself up
I barely give a ****.
I just need more.

Tip the glass to my lips.
Cunning eye and trembling fingers
watch the sick-green liquid slide
passed clenched white teeth.
They stain with the flow
Across the tongue and Down, Down, Down,
into my very soul.
My chest hitches.
I cough in surprise
- or pain.
You cannot tell for sure . . .
Our eyes lock,
Surprised wonder meets lusting orbs of excitement.
As the burning courses through my limbs
You lean closer, intent on every agonized detail.
A wicked grin chases across your face
when the tremors finally cease.
My head falls back.
The world goes black.
And then . . . at last - there's peace.

I wiped it off my sleeve
So you couldn't see it
I watered down the words
So that you couldn't read it
You mean much more to me
Than you even know
And it would be wrong of me
To let you see the things I have to show

So I let you go
And you'll never know

Today -
It is a Winter's day
But
The sun is burning so brightly
It sears my eyes
The temperature is perfect
The weather
Is reminiscent of Spring

Today -  
I buried someone
All clothed in black
And weariness

Today
*I buried myself

A baby crawling paws down
Down the stairs into
the study room
the odd computer flashes
the faces of what looks like people
a whiteout face
with black shameful eyes
breaks the scroll of happy faces
happy places and joyous info
as empty as a new USB
it's gaze pierced my soul
forever
It was 1998 then
More than a decade later
whiteout faces everywhere
on every screen
monitors growing out
like tumors on a monster from
The Thing
one grows in my pocket
I pull the tiny screen out
and the face eyeballs me again
one grows in each room
the kitchen has one on the fridge
all the cars have them, too
pixellated faces talking at me
I feel there may be one plugged on my
heart or brain
I can only think on its terms, now
I'm going to need a
date for the movies tonight.

I want to
taste that
kind of
happiness