I forget to eat
I forget to sleep
I forget to take care of myself

But I can't forget you

I got too intense
I felt too much

I tried to push it down
I really tried

I knew how scared you would get
how insecure

But I couldn't hold it down
and I drove you away

You were my drug
and I have an addictive personality

Now I can't have you
and
The abstinence is killing me

I lost my breath
kissing you
and now I'm losing it again
missing you

I will never forget the way you looked at me
before everything changed
You looked at me like I shone like gold
You saw my imperfections and you praised them

Then you took it way
And I will never be the same

And I don't know how it is possible
but I still smell like your sweat mixed in with mine

It clings onto my hair like plastic wrap
firm, but soft and colorless.

It has sunk into my skin
swallowed up by my pores
and now it is gently seeping out

A temporary alteration of my chemistry

All I want
is to be whoever it is you see
when you look at me

But that is a person who will die in process
Because if I use you to become the me I want to be
I won't

I will become someone shallow and twisted
I will need a new name
Whoever I become I won't ever be the same