i lay
still dressed in the blue gown
from tonight.
makeup still
adorning my face
and the pearls
still shining on my neck.

but i feel drained
for no apparent reason other than
that i just felt sad.

why?
i do not know
but i write over
and over
and over again
"i should have asked him"

i regret.
and so i felt like ringing up a few old friends
and so we talked.
until dawn
but the tears still linger in my eyes.

there's a slab
of reflective glass
whom we all think tells the truth

but all it does
is tell us lies about our beauty
preventing it from
emanating from our souls.

you'll be protected
you said,
as long as you answer me honestly.

so i believed you
stupidly
and spilled all my heart was holding

and you protected me.
for just a moment, i felt warm
like the sun was finally shining.

to you i must have been no one
probably because everyone wants to be
deep down popular
rejecting people's friendships and hearts
like you did me.

i understand
that i was just a tool
used to orchestrate a master plan.

and that deep down,
you just wanted to feel human too.

i can feel something
bursting through my veins
warning every
finger
and toe
and corner of my body
*that something beyond awaits

she knew she was different
her dreams could fly
while others
died.

it's the dark in the night that consumes you.