this one's to you.
to the giant rolls of fat that make up my midsection.
beneath my torso
and above my thighs.
i don't recall ever being fond of you
i never loved you.
but i have to learn
since i've had you for years now
and no amount of diet and exercise
can seem to rid you of me.
i don't want you there
at least, not on me.
i tell people all the time
how beautiful they are
regardless of their pants size
but then i look down
and hate my own.
i've lost some weight, sure
and i'm so, so, so happy about it.
but i have to learn to love you.
you're soft
and warm
and a really nice pillow, i've heard
but you're also a sign of an easy target
it's because of you i've been hurt in the past
people see a fat person and think
"oh, they'll do anything for attention"
"anything for love."
well
they're wrong
and they're right.
i crave love
but hate attention.
i have someone now
who pacifies both
and who calls me beautiful
and truly believes it
but they still want to see me live as long as they
inevitably will.
i'm sorry it's so hard to love you
i just wish
that you were a little smaller.

I don’t know when I started loving you
All I know is it started slowly
Like the rain,
One drop at a time
The all at once,
Unapologetically.
With no regrets.

I guess I lied.
I do have poetry written.
But all of it’s a little too personal
To even share
With you.
Maybe in a few years
After you find someone better,
Much better than me
And have totally moved on,
Then I could share it with the world.
But for now,
I’m hiding it.
I don’t wanna get kink-shamed or kink-samed
I just want you to know
That it’s there
Either I’ll share it when I’m comfortable
Or you’ll ask for it
In a certain way
Making it impossible
For me to say
No.

twenty-six letters
are not near enough
to tell you my pain
rescue me
from myself
please
I only want you to
I l o v e y o u

How can I be expected to write
When all I can seem to do
Is lay in bed, exhausted
Not wanting to wake up
Much less function in an
Ever-moving, hurried society?

I love you
To infinity
And beyond
Beyond all space
Beyond all reason
Beyond all comprehension
Even beyond the universe

what makes you think
as a cisgender human
you have any right
to dictate how others live
how they were born?
their skin colour isn't a choice
neither is their gender
so why ****** them for being different?

IT’S BEEN YOU ALL ALONG
IT’S ALWAYS BEEN YOU
I WAS WONDERING
I WAS CONFUSED
WHY AM I FEELING THIS WAY?
WHY AM I HAPPY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER?
THEN I THOUGHT
IT WAS BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION
THAT IT’S YOU,
NOT ME.
IT’S ALWAYS BEEN YOU.

i can feel my death
creeping ever closer
tapping on the window to my soul
but i think of you
and i want nothing more
than to whisk it away
and run into your arms

I WANT TO WATCH THE SUNSETS AND SUNRISES WITH YOU
I WANT TO STARGAZE WITH YOU I WANT TO KISS IN YOU THE
RAIN I WANT TO WALK HAND IN HAND IN THE SNOW WITH
YOU I WANT TO BE THE REASON YOU SMILE I WANT TO BE
THE REASON YOU’RE HAPPY I WANT TO BE YOUR ANTIDEPRESSANTS I WANT TO BE YOURS AND I WANT YOU TO WANT ME TO BE YOURS TOO BECAUSE YOU MAKE ME SO HAPPY AND I REALLY WANT TO MAKE IT STOP BUT I CAN'T

i’m not typically
the jealous type
but i see you
talking to the one
you used to like
and my heart
skips beats.