I’ll never forget you.

I can promise you that.

That’s probably the only thing I can promise.

Until the day I die,

No matter how soon or late that day is,

I will always remember you.

And if there is a such thing

As life after death,

Then I will remember you still.

If there is life after death,

Then I believe in love after death, too.

I will love you for all eternity.

Till fate do us part.

My body falls in step with the waltz
My fingers with the keys on the piano
My pen with every gliding word on paper
My voice with the tempo of the song
My heart with the touch of your lips
My eyes with the pages of books

they told me
that you would hurt me
but I don’t care
you’re worth it
that doesn’t stop me
from hoping though
please
treat me like the king I
treat you as

and the wildflowers,
they kiss the sky
like the stars
kiss your cheeks

I miss the old days

When I could call you mine

And when I smiled

When I knew I could feel love.

But I left you

And now my heart is a lacuna,

That dark, empty, bottomless pit

Inside me, clawing at my soul

Trying to tear me to shreds.

if i could speak every language the same as you, i would breathe poetry into your veins.

I didn’t mean what I said

There’s a little truth in everything

But I’ve always been a compulsive liar.

You trusted me

Like I trusted you.

I didn’t mean to break your heart

(If you even had one in the first place).

You don’t deserve me.

Tell me I’m a *******-up mess

And that I never listen

Because I know you’re a liar too.

You’re telling me these things

That I don’t believe

And I’m telling you things

That you don’t believe either.

Can we be trusted?

Everything is numb
Grey
Bland
Tasteless
Blurry.
This
Is
My
Life
Now.

Life is worth living

So live another day.

And every day after that.

Don’t spend it

Locked up

In your mind.

Get up

And do things

That make you feel alive.

you keep trying
to get me to stop
"liking" you
little do you know
that this isn't like
it's unrequited love
and that's the kind that burns
the kind that leaves all the pain
and sorrow
and heartbreak
burning deep inside
leaving me crippled
and wondering why it is
that i'm not good enough

Bitter, scalding laughs / condescending chuckles / look to the ground / splat! / spit sprays across the sidewalk / angry yells / schoolyard bullies become taunting adults / pricklier than a cactus / cheap gas station coffee / no sugar, no cream / screaming children yanking on jail bars / no fair / needles? get them away / don't let anyone in / don't let anyone see / scrawling / scribble in black in / ruin your favorite notebook / and your mother's walls / your father's tools / don't look back / mania / smirk at their tears / stop! / tie your worn out old shoe / pick up the pace / hurry / faster now / don't give up / do it all in spite / almost there / traffic / busy highway / overpass / turn inwards / see it all / realize it was all about you / jump

lose
        yourself
                       in
                          the
                                moment

I
don’t
want
to
lose
you.

I lost you
But I also lost myself and
You lost me, too.
I’m sorry.
It’s ******* terrifying,
Losing yourself.
I never thought it might happen.

I get lost

And stare off into space

When I think of you.

You tease me about my poetry

But I bet you don’t know

That most of it is about you.

You take my depression from me,

Make me smile,

You make me feel whole again.

I think I love you

And you say you feel the same

But I don’t believe you.

Because we both like her too

And she’s taken

Like you’ve taken my heart.

Don't eat!

You don't deserve food, you know that.

You're disgusting,

and fat.

It's pathetic, honestly.

I guess you can have some water

and if you behave,

and don't cheat,

you can have cucumbers

or watermelon, apples or celery

or something.

See?

I can be nice!

I let you have something to eat.

Whether you deserve it or not.

I didn't need to.

No wonder you love me!

                                          Sincerely,

                                            Your favourite,

                                                    Ana **

My mascara’s hella cheap

But I still don’t want to waste it

On stupid boys like you.

No matter how hard

I try, though,

I still do.

I’ll hide here,
In this lush forest
This wooded area
The trees
They hide me
Much easier than a smile does
I can scream
And not be heard
But I don’t want to be heard
I just want someone to understand me
I want someone to listen to me
I’m screaming out in agony
I hope nobody can hear me
Because they would be scared
The words in my mind
Are different from my words heard
Or my words written
I’m surrendering
Hiding behind the word *****
My mind throws at all of you
I’m not sure I want to die, exactly,
I just want to be reminded that I’m alive
To know that I can feel something other than the constant pain inside
I’m burning all of my bridges
No, I don’t want to
I didn’t plan this
And now you’re hearing my voice
Singing songs
That nobody knows
Because nobody ever wrote them
Maybe
Just maybe
If I hold my hands up high enough
I’ll become a tree, too.

and then I realized
he was no longer in my world
he was my world
if only
i could honestly
call him
m         n
        i           e

Too loud too loud too loud

Click click click click

Tap tap tap tap tap

All I hear are those awful sounds

Muffled talking

Loud screaming

Typing

Chewing

Smacking

Eating

Gross please make it stop

This is real

Not just for me

But everyone else

I can’t stand sounds

The sounds of anything

Except music

Music is the only thing that saves me

Tones and repetitiveness

I can’t do that

But drums

And cellos

Guitars, pianos, saxophones

Those are all okay

I’m sorry

None of this is my fault

I wish it didn’t bother me

Trust me

I do.

But it does.

I hate it

Probably more than you do.

You should be thankful

Because you don’t.

It makes my skin crawl

I get hot

Dizzy

I shake

Every sound gets amplified

Please forgive me

I’m sorry

**** misophonia!

I don’t want to live forever

Because I don’t want to watch

Everyone

And everything

I’ve ever loved

Or hated, even,

Disappear from in front of my very eyes.

Especially you.

You mean more to me

Than many others,

All of you.

You all three know

Exactly who you are.

Number one is twenty

And treats me like royalty.

Number two is fifteen

And jokes about everything.

Number three is sixteen

And tells me everything.

Our conversations are real,

Raw,

True.

i stare into the sky
the vast emptiness
the stars
the moon
the planets
the cosmos
it’s so
m o z z a f i a t o

my poetry
is just a bunch
of pretty, nonsensical
ways to tell you
all of you
that i want to die
the rest of my poetry
is about him
or you, if you’re reading it
(you know who you are)

Your smile,

Your laugh,

The twinkle in your eyes.

They are my poetry.

They are my love song.

They mean more to me

Than your silly love songs.

I can’t believe

Just how soon

I’m leaving.

I hope you don’t leave me.

I’m so ******* terrified of losing you,

Too.

I think that

If you could read my mind,

You’d be tears.

My mind is a dark place.

You’d see all

My thoughts.

The ones that tell me I’m worthless,

That echo of the words

You told me.

The reverberations

Of fat, ugly, stupid.

I’m just that freak,

The ***,

The emo.

I’m a ****,

Obese,

Pathetic.

I’m sorry to share this with you.

Actually,

No.

I’m not.

Because when you tell me these words,

They burn

Behind my eyelids.

I see them all the time.

*******.

You left me broken
and nearly irreparable-
nearly, not completely-
I found him
the one who pushed everything aside
just to save me
you tried to get me to feel
hopeless
worthless
bothersome
and I did
for quite some time
but then he found me
crying
full of fear
and he started to repair me
slowly
piece by piece
he helped me rid myself
of you
and most of my negativity
concerning intimacy
and trust
he is helping me learn
to love myself
it's proving difficult
but worth
every
single
second.