You told me It was math that you were bad at and history you didn't remember,
You reminded me that science was your worst subject and reading to you is boring,
Then our teacher told me that you got a B on your report card for math and passing grades on history and science, I was told that reading was your greatest subject and when you lie you blink twice,
you've been blinking everytime we have a conversation, every single thing you've ever said to me was a lie, I wasnt paying attention to the signs only your eyes that kept blinking but I liked the color so i didn't think twice.

It's really sad isn't it?
I'm tired of complaining I want things to change right now, you don't want me I get it I promise I'm trying to except that,
I wanna cry now and get it over with but I know that tears only come to my eyes when I'm overwhelmed with millions of others things and I crash with all of my emotions at once,

Oh wait *


My eyes are tearing up right now because I'm thinking of the girl that you've chosen over me,
She must be prettier, I get it, trust me i do
But it's just tragic you know?
I never get exactly what I want
Something always goes wrong I always find myself back in this black whole, this blank space, this emptiness and fulfilling darkness.


No no I'm not jealous
She's really lucky though, she gets to see that smile of yours everyday and watch you dribble a basketball through your legs and show off knowing your watching him, he loves it, he loves showing off for the girls,
I just don't get it though, what is wrong with Me? People please stop it when you say looks don't really matter, Looks are what catches others attention,
"Looks" are part of the reason you chose her over me, well that and the fact that your stupid friends hate me.

I'm angry darling,
I'm angry that I'm never good enough, not for you or for anyone
I've never really done anything wrong to anyone
I'm not 100% innocent but I'm not like any other teenager
I've been through hell and I'm still finding my way back to the closest place to heaven.



I'm sorry...I'm ranting now But I need express this heartbreak, this depression, this blank space, and these cigarettes and straight ***** aren't helping.

it's not hard to be alone, your soul just needs time
to heal, and to be held gently in the hands of God.

Not being pretty enough
Or not feeling good enough
Or just simply not being "enough" for someone has got to be the worst feeling in the universe.

Kills you mentally
Your no longer the person you use to be
It's like someone new has a residence inside of you,
Yeah your stronger, but that new strength is what's blocking you away from the world


What Doesnt **** You ,
Scars you for life
The vicious memories are bunches of blocks in your head,
visions that you will not release,
Pain that you will forever indure


What Doesn't  **** You
Should have killed you,
Because now you cheated death, and now death is what you've become.

To Have bones in your body...


                                  Tonsils in your throat,


Teeth in your mouth,


          
                                         Taste buds on your tongue,



A heart beating in your chest





And still manage to feel unbearably empty?

Look away when I speak to you and I'll know that you don't care of what words roll off of my tongue,
Kiss me normally, not with eagerness and that tells me that there is no love here,
Treat me like I'm a stranger and I'll feel like an intruder in my own home,
Act like you don't care about me and the recognition will click in my head that you no longer love me,
And I am the only one loving myself.