tree's
          the roots  of our  heart
crickets and bee's
        the rythmic  stridulations of Mozart
Nature
             our  own  lullaby

Dreams filled with knights in shining armour
Her cheeks flushed, she lets out a soft groan
As she realizes she's woken up alone

A princess roaming aimlessly
Her wings broken and tattered
Can you see my strength even though I am weak
She wants to be special and unique

She stretches,  everything hurts
Loneliness causing such intense pain
That nothing seems to be the same but his old shirt

All around her the walls are white
This being her twelfth night
How many more must she endure
Or is this just a slight detour

Watching the stars knowing that they will answer her plea
16 more days and she will be set free
 A life without wings, princess and kings

She sits alone in her room
Restricted, feeling like a tomb

Longing to belong

Her heart  beats a lonely tune
Consume by the unfolding nature of life 

Her soul crumbles opening another crack in the lullabies

People are not meant to live in isolation

Just close your eyes

she wanders the halls
searching unsatisfactory
amongst the coterie
no where to be found
surrounded by the drunk
and the profound
hesitation with sadness
realization with brokenness
left with nothing
but empty promises
she should have know
promises are always broken

Angels in the sky
They tell no lies
Angels in the night
Have inner light

No one to protect her
No angels for the lost
Between two world
Nowhere to cross

Wandering with no escape
Good or evil, a changing shape
Draw to the man in the cape
Motioning to the landscape

Choices to be made
Hopefully coming with aid
All debts have been paid
Praying she hasn't been played

Turning to the left, turning to the right
Into the hazy night with a sense of delight
Realizing one angel that was not quite white
Her guardian angel, her chance for a rewrite

All I want for Christmas is

YOU



I miss you

He suspected he was unique
Maybe even a bit of a freak
The colors of music
From the old jukebox in the den
His only friend
Morning, noon and night
Recite, recite, recite

My life changed that September day
A day that started like all others
A day that left me alone 

A day where I had to call  911
The memory burned in my mind 
But a day I can't really remember
A day I pleaded with anyone and  everyone

Please wake up

A day overcome with sorrow 
A day when I  first experienced helplessness

Time

Today is a new beginning
Today I discover a new me
Today I start to breathe

She sits
Outwardly calm and cool
Flahes from her past  forcing long repressed emotions to bubble and escape
A tear trickles down her cheek
Unnoticed

Decisions made
Consequences and regrets
Uncontrollable but livable
Except for the child

Thirty-five years of self punishment
One decision made from fear
Changing her life

He found her

The silence is deafening
Hours go by with no reply  
Trembling  
Then a big surprise
Time to say goodbye          
Outside all calm and collective          
Inside, I must confess, depressed    
I had fallen hard and fast  
Should have known it wouldn't last
No defense against a breach of trust                         
But one must learn to adjust          
In time there will be no regrets
But for now no more duets
Then at some point it will be released as cosmic dust

Dreams
Unique images, ideas  and emotions
All kinds of notions
They are frightening and exciting
Magical, adventurous and  ******.
Taken so casual
Completely uncontrollable
But oh so enjoyable

Day dreaming or night dreams
No matter what the theme
An escape from reality
To a place where morality doesn't exist

A cigar smoking **** star
Or a multi million dollar secret agent
Imagination sets the pace

Here, in my room slightly displaced
Can't seem to fight the rat race
Sadness spreading like a toxin in my bloodstream
I close my eyes in anticipation of the next dream

Peppermint Palace and Lollipop Heaven
Beautiful and breathtaking as Aurora Borealis
Fairy Princess doing the nasty with the Bridge Trolls
Everybody watching them from the fish bowl
Love, throws you around like a Raggedy Ann
Making believe you're happy but falling apart like Peter Pan
Magical land, imaginary friends
Transcend,  and resent
Emerald necklace dangling from the Ice Empress
Life is a roller coaster ride
Enjoy like Jekyll and Hyde
Forever crossing the Great Divide

I am a moth to your flame
                 But if it's all the same
         I wish that you would refrain

                   I'm all out of love
To many times have I been disposed of
        Even though we fit like a glove

                     What's next
                  I'm so perplexed
                      But babe
           I'm a moth to your flame

When we first met                          
I knew we were meant to be a set  
A pair, a duo, a duplet    
                      
Chemistry and energy  is our aura
Looking styling in our fedoras

Flirting and singing, sending off sparks of true blue                    
Our meeting a real coup,  straight out of a mystery by  Nancy Drew                        
                                    ­                        
You add peace and subtract sorrow  
My head as clear as the sky on top of Mount Kilimanjaro
I will love you until there is no tomorrow

You are my friend, my partner, my life
I don't want any disagreement or strife
Just fun, entertainment and rife

Always and forever.

Love should feel like you're floating on a cloud of blue
Or is that just a bunch of Hullabaloo
We are brain washed to believe
Is it worth the time to be pursued

Cinderella, sleeping beauty and all the gang
Who's the fairest in the land
Us girls learned it first hand
Sitting on the laps of our grande dames

Fantasy was taught to be real
Illusion turns out to be a raw  deal
We are a new breed
Applauded and encouraged to succeed
Put away those fairy tales
And say hello to the 21st  century female

Babe please don't cry
I hate to have to say good bye
This was not the plan
We were to only play not stay

Now is not our time
I am not yours and you are not mine
Two souls like ours are destined to withstand the wars
Our time will come and we will open the doors

You are my breath, my light
Nothing is black and white
I will forever know you
Now you are gone and I have to stay
Go out, get laid, pretending not to be afraid

To see you again, feel your breath on my neck
Your lips caressing the inside of my thigh
Wrapped in your arms at sunrise
To look into those dazzling blue eyes

I've been around and  I've seen it all
Next we will meet at the popcorn ball
Please babe do not cry
I promise this is not our last goodbye

Look  I miss you a ton
Although it seems like we just begun
This affair will be my undone

It's not just the ***,  which is on a level all its own
Makes me feel like I'm King on a throne

But I miss the 'you get me' part even more

The thing is I ain't strong enough or whatever to handle the deception .
Eventually we'll have  to deal with the pain of rejection

We are playing with nuclear bombs with the potential to destabilize a lot of lives
I don't think I'd survive

The guilt is eating me alive

Hello, are you there?
Why do I feel so all alone when I can still feel you, smell you?
Every day I'm asked,  how are you?  You know with that sad. ".R "    
Can they not see the haze that surrounds me?
Your haze.          
When I go to bed at night I can feel you, my body recognizing your touch, I shiver, sending goosebumps  down my spine.
Your scent emanates from my pillow, lulling me into a false sense of security
How long has it been?
A day, a week, a month, a year.        
Time has no boundaries.      
You're not a figment of my imagination.
I know you're there,  you promised you would never leave me.  
You promised.
I miss you.
Please find a way to come back to me

Your smile lights up my world
The sweetness of a hummingbird
Leaving me weak and unnerved

Those eyes, blue as the sea and sky
Breathtaking in your tux and bow tie
Lost in the night of Shanghai

Indulge me, ****** me, encourage me
Lead me down the path of audaciousness
Raising hell, leaving nothing but a shell
Waking to the sound of church bells
In my own private cell

Nothing looks familiar but everything looks the same
And there you stand, fair game
Looking at me, lost in the emerald of my eyes and the innocence of my  smile

Love me, hug me, kiss me.

The day has arrived.
The cold wind whistle, the land is bare and everything feels contrived.
A girl broken, fragile as a leaf in fall.
Damaged but promised.

Borded and no place to go.
Lonely, defeated and feeling so low.
The clouds are telling  a similar story.
Laying out a laundry list of woes.

The air is rich and fragrant.
A crooked little smile on her face.
She can't help herself as the sun fills her with grace.

Venturing out for the first time.
Load music, beautiful people everywhere.
Surrounded by all her partners in crime.
Spinning, dancing with laughter completely unaware.

He's at least 10 years younger.
An unusual flutter.
So beautiful, so strong and hard
He wants her but her bodyguards say no.

But she follows her heart.
Anticipation almost parelizing.
That first touch neutralizing.
Fast and furious, slow passionate.
Completely off the charts.

Behind doors and on roof tops.
Everywhere anytime, non stop.
Her innocent excitement increases.
A new cocktail of chemicals releases.
Lust, sweet delectable lust.
So happy and content

New attitude, a new her

Forever remembered

A baby cries with pain
Left alone with no one to provide comfort
Nowhere to turn without hearing the  screams of anguish
The heat from the explosions choking
Fighting in the name of God and religion
This is not what I had planned
How could things have gone so far off track
Men women children
The scene scorching horrific images to the minds memory
What needs to be done to right the wrongs
Return the balance of nature to its true form
Do I start over or continue to watch and cry
No one truly believes,  I hardly believe
The ashes cool leaving a warm haze.
The survivors desberately seeking for everything but praying for anything
The  child is heard
****** hands reach into the chaos and
lift the child from the debris
The air goes still as all stare in awe
Smiles spread across their faces
Memories of devistation already starting to fade
The process of rebirth has begun

I hung my head, I hung my head
I looked down and all I saw was red

I walk along the outer rim of the atmosphere
Reveling in the beauty of the frontier
I hung my head, I hung my head

I lay me down in a feather bed
I saw the brilliance of the sunrise
Dew drops on the wings of a dragonfly
I hung my head, I hung my head

I taste the sugar of lead
The poisonous white solid used to **** the mighty Mohamed
I hung my head, I hung my head

I see the children and the underfed
And I wonder

I hung my head, I hung my head

Sleep eludes this tortured soul
Words, phrases and faces
Everything taking its toll

The water glisten like crystal
As dragonflies dance to the music of the surf
A symphony of sound emanates from this quiet section on earth
Adam lays in the shadow of the coconut tree, listening
A splash in the distance distracts his attention
Eve emerges from the sweet blue water
Her basket full of fish
Swinging her hips in a coquetish way
Adam catches his breath
Her beauty confusing his senses
Leaving him defenseless
Its time, whipers the serpent
Taste the fruit she so wantonly offers

A child is born and we rejoice        
Happy there was a choice.
A new mother quickly forgets the pain of birth
As all great things in life come from our earth.
The child grows and the changes become apparent                  
Transparent to all but the parents.    
How did they not see their jewel, the star in their eyes, was different from all the other little guys
Their angel was the devil in disguise.
No hope of winning a Nobel Prize, they decide to baptize.
Dressed in white  surrounded by friends
They celebrate the rebirth of the end.

Go gently into the night
Fight against the secrets of sleep
Peak into the abyss
Find your release in the dreams that await
Fantasy and fiction
Or simply the subconscious
Is this reality,
Our true self,
The essence of our being?
Alarm bells
The spell has been broken
We cast our eyes over and take stock of things as they are

A perceived existence

We all write about loneliness
And we all can empathize
But it is as unique to each of us as is a snowflake

It causes us all to ache
From a place in our soul that doesn't recognize the light of day
We wrap it up and keep it safe as our personal dossier

Colorless skies and lack luster eyes
We all seek the spectacular
Shooting stars, full moons and the first taste of champagne

We have been there, done that but don't seem to be able to hang on
We all want the same thing
To Love, to be loved and most of all to belong

Loneliness is such a complex experience
Existing even when surrounded by brilliance
Regardless if you are in a marriage, relationships, families and successful career.

At the end of the day,  it's a social and physical pain we all seem to be able to endure

I'm feeling kind of caught
Am I happy or not
Am I better or worse
After saying the verse
I do

She feels such an ache that it takes every ounce in her to breathe.  
The ground opening up  for her from beneath.

Questioning the reason for her existence. How am I impacting the world around me?
What do I do that makes a difference?

She catches a glimpse of herself in a store window.
Seeing a girl, a woman, a wife, a mother
Is this what I'm meant to be?  
But who am I to disagree.

Realizing that she,  being herself, is a true hero.      
  
The ground closes, a bounce returns to her step as she continues her journey
Knowing that she and only she can decide her fate without having to be carried out on a gurney      
                
We are all beautiful in our own freakness Learn to revel in our uniqueness.