perhaps
we only love
for a few hours of our lives.
(perhaps that is
more than enough.)

My Kingdom come,
My will be ******* done.

I'm sick of all the lies,
I'm through with the *******.
We're all just mayflies,
Spawning into our grit.
I sought you in my dark age,
But what I found was abandonment.
Now I've been left with hate and rage,
Now within my thoughts, you're ancient.
Your ******* dead to me.
You abandoned me.
You destroyed me.
But *******,
I still don't need you.
I'll crush your kingdom,
Burn it to the god ****** ground,
I'll rebuild it all and spit in your face.

I often dream of dancing in thigh high socks
To music playing off my cellphone
In a hotel on the edge of town with you
I think of lying next to you in white bed sheets
I want to be with you when the curtains open
And the sunlight is twisting patterns across your skin
I want to make you coffee in your t-shirt and my underwear
I want to almost spill it bringing it over to you
I imagine us laughing about this
You will grab the coffee and put it aside
Pull another things to your lips
That will not stain your breath
I want to be the one to kiss you in place of your coffee
We can sit in this hotel room and watch cable TV
And I can recite all the poems I have written about you
And I know that you never wrote poems,
but I knew you loved me like one

i met you exactly once.
i was five and you were tall
and you'd brought me some toy
(stereotypically girly).
i've never played with dolls
and you apologized for assuming.
a week later
you sent me some legos.

i've seen you exactly twice.
the first, i barely remember.
the second i recall all too well
because my parents were crying
but my cousin,
your son,
wasn't.

i find myself wishing i'd kept the **** doll
because the legos you got me
were mixed with the others
a long time ago.

I am a unique one
My story is not like everyone
It is very hard but full of fun
I enjoy everything even the sun
And when happiness is gone
I defend everyone from sadness using a gun
My love for people weighs more than
ton
I consider every little boy my own son
I always make sure that right is always done

in pride I forgot
oh the shaking of my heart
and my head at my fault
For the nerves in your brain
stretch like lengths of fiber optic cords
that hold the cyber clouds together
your lips were placed upon each other
to produce much more than laughs from mine
Ah!
I think of the heart that is squeezing
blood through all your delicate channels
And I remember
You are more than a pretty face
much more than a night of entertainment

waking up is always the same
one lonely body
in her garden of graves
my heat is just that
my heat
my dreams are still mine
just because you haunt them -
a reminder to dread nothing
no toothless lion
clawless beast
I'll fly from your split
jolts, I never come back from
I don't believe in reach
not unless I am shown stretching
arms do not speak
but they release
it's been done
& done & done to me
freed, "you are safer like this"
loveless lips, the only ones I see
& feeding from the tips of a liar's teeth  
fed until I depended on it
then thrown into a gust
I'll fly far away from you;

& hopefully soon
when enough is e n o u g h

my instincts will kick in