we shall see default expansion
the day we are truly free.
we shall identity in no faction
but in unanimity with no skeleton key.
that day we can conjure up the plan
to explore within and beyond galaxy.
can you imagine alien called HUMAN
landing on another earth in distant days?
i can imagine it but never vivid
i used to think bigger in old days
so lets
ignore
this ****
it is just my childish wish .

One day, when the day comes
i'll prove you have nothing to worry about
that i am all yours.
One day, when the day comes
i'll take that leap through stars
and put it into beautiful rhyme
how i always liked it.
One day, when the day comes
i'll do all the things kept on hold
then i shall feel complete and whole
and
That one day, i won't have to think
about the list of things i haven't done.
Or i might even feel nothing
because sometimes what i wanted
is not even clear to me.
Everyday i talk to myself
what do i wish to accomplish
one day?
The remark is always fuzzy.
Only thing certain is that
ONE DAY my day'll come
and i haven't a faintest idea
how its going to play out.

so here where it led me
after this long time
after this long tardy travel
i can't say if i like it here
or maybe i am beginning to like it
or is it the habit settling in
i have always dreaded of being
rooted in one place and yet somewhere
in my heart i longed for it too
so here where it led me
here i am
i am scared and fearful
this is what i knew would happen
this is what i wanted to avoid
on second thought,i am not
published story but
manuscript in the process
it may fail to be successful one
but i can turn it how i want it
and that thought is enough
to keep me going,
keep going on and be part of
that sketch of lady disappearing  in dark
or is it emerging into light?
i wont know which part will i be
of that shaded sketch of lady
in black and white.
but here i am and i don't have to stop...

fetch my journal
stall down the memory lane
some emotional words
wrote  in pain
on those pages  was my kingdom
nothing in vain
abstract art in my domain
it mostly rains in my cloudy reign
but there was this page
so vibrant terrain
whispering and laughing at detain
next, celebrating  with champagne
there goes my kingdom
drunken
super lame
feigned unchain

i am lost in wonderland, wondering if i ever come out of it.
Its all sand and stories here, unreal world, unreal people,
even stories fails to mimic reality.
swimming is dream here; a glass of water, life and dewdrops, quenching thirst most.
here, i don't wish to stay; here, i don't see myself unpacking.
i need to leave now, i would rather have a nightmare then be part of this mind numbing place.
let me borrow a wing just to fly away from here, let me slap myself to wake up from  here.

long before you wish it upon me, it already happened.
long before you taught me that word, I knew exactly what they meant.

I wish,  I dream,  I hope,
I stay ****** in my favorite dope.


I hope one day I give up all,
acting to clean up, I stall.


I tried today to stay away,
I'll do it tomorrow or another day.


more I resist, more I can taste
it has its lure, such an evil waste.

in its ecstasy, I know no shame,
you compel me! I like to blame.

rest assure, don't burn in this flame,
no ounce of it is true, I am just using your name.

my demon prefers a pin-drop silence, with no shroud of hope
and I am trying to escape. In my mind, I shout, shout loud. Hush! she says everything is ok, you are happy here.It's merely your silly mind so full of doubts. Our looks are alike, still so unlike me. Her eviction, constant contradiction, her weary words puts me off. she says everything is ok! but her incessant rally is sufficed to say, it renders me to reflect otherwise.

Into this turmoil, this damaged world, I float
stern faced with unaffected looks, they gloat
they talk tall and taller , I feel small and smaller