Recognition sparks
Sly and toothy grin crawls upwards
Snaking across stubbled cheeks
Mouth ready to sink into soft flesh
I've tasted this venom before
Reminded of the paralysis
That always strikes
In hotel bathrooms
Why are my puncture wounds
More shameful
Than your sharpened teeth?

You're an animal in bed.
By that I mean,
You devoured me
And then left the bones,
Like my body was scraps
For the starving.

You, with hands like Ambien
Talking me down off the ledges
I was born and raised on
Slowing down the heart
That's beating for you now
Out of my chest
Into your hands
Safer than it was with me
I didn't need to be medicated
Just loved,
Just loved.

On the day we met
You asked me where I lived
I told you two blocks that way
You laughed and said I live to blocks this way

Today is our wedding
We are dancing to the smash hit country song, "Meet in the Middle" by Diamond Rio
It's super cute
Your right hand in my left
My right on the small of your back
Room for Jesus between us
There is a prescription of steps we are fumbling through
I can see your eyes dancing through the room
Picking out Instagram filters for the memories you've shared with each of the people who are looking at you and whispering at each other, "how cute"
The life you have walked to arrive at this middle that we have found will make you smile
A brand new bride glow in your cheeks

We have run through our choreography too quickly
Neither of us are particularly talented at dancing so we slink into each other
Your arms wrapped under mine and around my shoulder blades
We are dancing like eighth graders
The dance floor fills with your family and my friends
The song is faster than a slow song
We dance slowly anyway
So does everyone else
It is cute

You glance over my shoulder to pick out Instagram filters for the road I walked to find this middle with you
And when you do
This song, "Meet in the Middle" will feel like the biggest lie you have ever told
On the day we met
You were walking towards the possibilities of life, humming to yourself, "High-**-High-** it's off to work we go" a skip in your step a smile on your face
I was shuffling with my head down, whispering, "just one more step, take just one more step"
You are about to feel very guilty for never having realized how hard trusting this 'happy' has been for me
You will be crushed under the weight of my past
I will spend every moment of this marriage, for however long that may be, trying to make you believe this was not a mistake

I lean into your ear as the song dies down
I whisper, "It gets better"
You smile a smile that will define our marriage
While your mother will cackle at my mother,
"Oh aren't they're just so cute."

If my lips appear to fall upon your thoughts,
that is where
they are supposed to be.  
At night,
when your ears hear pages
of the faintest verse
whispering on your neck,
it is my way of telling you everything
will be alright,
go back to sleep,
it is just me.

If you feel the softest kiss in the morning
as if the sun
has filled the passageways
of your heart
with everything you miss.
The radiance you feel in these spaces
is not a dream
in which you have fallen,
nor random chance,
it is my way
of sending you bliss.

If your temperature rises in a delightful instant,
eternally warming your soul
with a drink
and leaving your heart glowing.
It is because it holds the promises
my heart placed long ago
in a chalice called my love
where you can drink
of a warmth overflowing.

I am always with you
even on those nights
that seem to never end.  
I walk delicately across your mind
tying the strings of your heart
to my own.
You can hear my voice
when my lips fall upon your thoughts
whispering,
“I love you, My Heart,
I’m coming home.”

The people that come into our lives
do so for a reason
It may only be for a day or a month
or may just be for a season

But when two paths cross, no matter how brief
There's a lesson somewhere to be learned
It may be just that we're on the wrong path
and there's a corner that needs to be turned

It may be to teach us that we can still fly
and soar in the heavens above
or it may be a brief and torrid affair
to show us that we can still love

And maybe my words are speaking to you
and I'm part of some message you need
To show you the signs that surround you
so between the lines you can read.