you don't know how many people
wanna see me hurt
dream about me choking on
every last word
because they're jealous or scorned
things i'll never understand
maybe the just hate me
simply for who i am

talking to you is
like breaking my neck after a one inch fall
the chance of disaster so low
why not risk it all
but once it all goes to ****
i won't understand what's wrong
might find it difficult to remember
that its all my fault

just kidding
i blame myself for everything
i
feel
so
small

'          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';'''  '
''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; ' ' dreaming of a different time '   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '
;  ;'.  ;'    ..  ; '  ; ;  ,; '   ';  living without you in my life '; ; ' ' ; .  .    '' '' ; ; ',,   ';;
; ; ' ' ;   '' '' ; ; ',,   ';. ' ; ; moving on like rain on the streets '  ..,.,' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;.
;'    ..  ; '  ; ;  ,; '   ';     down the drain where no one can see '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;'
';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ; '; how much it hurts that you've gone away ''   ;; ' ,    '  ;   '  
';''   '  ' '  '.;;'   '  ;  without you here there's nothing left but pain';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''  
';'';'  ' '  ; .   ; ' ; . .'                                     i                                    ';'';'  ' '  ; .   ;  
;'';'  ' ' ' '  '.;;'';; '  ;                                                             ­               ';'';'  ' '  ; .   ;'';'  ' '  ; . ; ..   . .'                                        m                                      ;   ' '';'  
;'';'  ' '   ; ' . . .; . .'                                      i                        ­              ' ' .    ' '  ; .   ;
;''  ' '    ; .   ; ' ; . .'                                      s                        ­              ' , ,   ' '  ; .   ;
;'';'  ' '  ; .   ; ' ; ;' .;                                     s                                      ';'';'  ' '  ; .   ;
;'';'  ' '  ; .   ; ' ; .' ;                                        you                     ­          ;'  ' ' ';'  ' '  ; .';.' ;    .  ; '     '                                                                ­            ; ' .  ;; , .' ; .' ;
.;. '  ' '  '.;' ''   '  ;  ' ;          a  little more hour after hour             ;;' ''   '  ;   '  ;  ' ; ''
''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  '       the pitter patter pitter patter         ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ;
''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  '      just keep getting louder          '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '
'          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ; '   ' '          ';''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   ' ;  ' ; '' '   .  '   ;
''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;   '  it won't stop raining when you're gone ''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  ;
''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''   '  leave the umbrella if you won't be staying long''   '  ' '  '.;;' ''

don't say i'm stupid for using my words
better be careful how you choose your words
i'm not as fragile as you might think
a lot more sturdy than i seem

waking up
not rested
uncomfortable
and divested
every ounce of nerve
has been tested
have a dream
but can't manifest it

i want more
than what i know
but there's no
room to grow
i'm stuck in
this hellhole
where did all
my passion go

i let you do it
which i guess was stupid
thought the perks were worth the pain

on one hand it was my call
and you wanna pass the fault
because accepting blame serves no gain

figured it all understandably
easier to abandon me
than acknowledge your own shortcomings

you lead me on a chase
unexpectedly hit the brakes
the death of a never was something

why would i want to care
when you parade that you don't
you say i should calm down
but you just don't know
what it like to be the last one
trying to make it work
how it feels to be one cares more
and why that even hurts
you tell me to be happy
that there's no reason to change
but if i walked out of your life
you would be okay

and on this unfortunate day
i can't say the same

may i ask a question
or would that be invasive
if you need a moment
i could be patient
just wanted to know
if any of it was real
how can someone walk away like that
do you even feel

sweet somebody
neat nobody
wanna be wrapped in your words
till i suffocate

when they fall over me
it's a beautiful thing
gratifying enough for me
to not mind the stains

universe is testing me
at every turn
like i haven't proved myself a thousand times

i brace myself for the news
used to getting used
but it gets old after thousands of times

and i wanna be there
i wanna help
i wanna save them all
knowing they would never
giving too much effort
kind to a fault
unfortunately my nature
can't abandon
someone in pain
even if its for my health
i hurt myself
for someone who wouldn't do the same

it can't get any worse
i pray
i whisper till i go insane

but everytime i say those words
it does
always worse off than i was

you don't get to make me feel bad for something i wanted to do
already regret feeling anything in truth
done made my heart feel stupid for seeing the potential in you
it truly falls on deaf ears when you say you're confused
how do you think i felt when you switched up on me dude
and even though you made your point through and through
i still tried to use every excuse
didn't wanna subscribe to the worldview
where you were this person who abused
the patience and trust i invested in you
but situations don't always work out how you want them to
people sometimes do things you never thought they'd do
so pardon me if i'm coming off a little rude
my outlook on love and life is pretty much ruined

misshapen
graceless
beauty for a price
i wanted
to make it
but i fell just shy
much shy
too high
to buy
your love
but mine
is here
if you'd like
for now
i'll just die
as another
catches your eye
i'm nothing
if i'm not fine
i'm nothing
when your not mine

i'm not thinking clearly
but i don't know if i wanna love anymore
but of course i do
if you dont then what is all of it for


i was thinking about
all of the reasons i can't die
and i realized
they're the reasons i want to be alive

i'm tired
but i'd live to share your company
i'm trying
what more could you want from me