don’t try to act all ******* heroic
like i was a tragedy
like you knew me
like it’s affected you


i never knew anyone
and i was born with an empty room for a heart

You’re told not to hate yourself
You’re told not to cry
You’re told to be happy
When you just want to die
Every day is the same
Encumbered with pain
As you lay there alone
Engulfed with silence
You feel at home
By yourself
Like you always are
They say to be glad
It can’t be that bad
But they don’t know
How it feels to be alone

don’t hate me
i will try to do the same
but i can’t make any promises
i am in pain
i don’t want to hurt
but i want to see you cry as well
after all the tears i’ve wasted
and how much you’ve made me hate myself
please don’t hate me
i will never really mean this
without the thought of you to soothe me
my lonesome nights are dreamless

do you not see?
do you ever notice me?
can you tell when i can’t breathe?
do you even understand
the capacity
of your actions and the way they control the world around me?
are you blind
or are you dense?
common sense
intelligence
practicality
experience
i don’t understand
don’t comprehend
are you blind?
must i remind
you of all the times
i gave what i didn’t have
just to hear you call yourself mine
and then in the end
you take it all back
like i was the one who surprised
you with all this love ****
i waited to say it back
cause i didn’t want it to be a lie
your cloying lips just let it fall
into my hands
when “i love you” meant nothing at the time

the clammer of life
may soothe their busy minds
but utter silence cradles my soul

bitter quiet and empty spaces
are the only things that
make me feel whole