i **** at life
i'm the worst at being alone
i can't stand to be wrong
i'm not good at lying
i'm always touching something i shouldn't be
when i think it takes too long

i'm just not up to par
a notch below
what is expected of me
i push so hard
to reach that bar
but i am still not an acceptable human being

so i got diagnosed
with hashimoto's
a couple of weaks ago
and some of the symptoms are:
- unexplained mood swings
- fatigue
- depression

well DUH
i knew all that already
only thing to do now is..
umm...
sooo
thryoid gland
what's good?

might as well
                          hmmmmmmmmmmmm.....
                                                                                 die.

i get it
i am only sixteen
i know
i have so much more to experience
how many times
do you have to tell me my age
trust that i understand
the concept of time
and how i've passed through it
to get to this wonderful number
sixteen

so now that we have covered that...
explain how that makes me any less than you
how it makes my opinions invalid
in your eyes
my experiences just exaggerations
my feelings just a side effect of hormones
just because i am sixteen

i'm tired of being
passed on
pushed away
looked past
walked over
put down
locked up
cut off
just because i am sixteen

i am sixteen
for now
but that doesn't mean my thoughts don't matter
actually never mind
me trying to explain my "complicated emotions"
is fulfilling your preconceptions of me
just because i am sixteen

seriously
there is no point
for me to
wake up
if
at the end
of the day
i cry
myself
to
sleep
because
i
have to
wake up
the next day.

i hate my life.