Beautiful as the sea
Happy as the sun
Playful as the wind
and intresting as the fire

Her dancing reminds you of rain
Seing her sad causes you pain

You know you enjoy
her unecpected side
You know you could
never bare to see her cry

She is clever
She is talented
She is a friend
and she is important

Her name is Helen

Anxious
you say to me
in all honesty i'm sure
there is no reason to worry
but you haven't been searching
your whole life for a reason to run

My love,
You dress like an infinity of
Sunday's
You smile like the
Sun
As you rise
I love your warmth
And hold you
Close
To my heart

Pieces of each other everywhere,
His hands on the bed
He left his head in the shower
And his heart is still in the sink.

Little things with you..
Waking up, arms still around my shoulders and love on my sleeves.
Leaves his words on my cheek
With a kiss

"Baby I love you.."

spinning faster
and I look for you
does she question
my motive for leaving?

the roads
hold a home
for us, somewhere
hundreds of miles away;

somewhere safe
from ignorance,
somewhere
beautiful and cold.

It’s dark where I am.
not metaphorically entirely for once.

I wish I could see his face
if only I could just turn around,
see if I could help him, knowing well of all of my previous efforts
And their failures with each attempt.
I forfeit the idea and instead,
I look to my left and see my parents
holding hands both busy keeping silent
the high school
middle school and
elementary sweethearts.

They stayed together through such hard times.
How long do I have until he realizes that my efforts truly are
worthless, unmoving, and
meaningless..
Does he think this already?
Am I too late?

We few, poorly oiled machines,
Working sixty hour weeks from age 16
Our sunburns as much a part of us as our high school transcripts
You can read us by sun stains on our skin
The places our burns peeled and left scars
We are not unlucky
I recieved a scholarship to an honors school
But I have to work for the rest of the tuition.
I have to work, so I miss pedicures and dinner dates
I'll take my notebook with me
I'll study on the walk home in the pouring rain if I have to
I have to work
People keep telling me that we all just want the world handed to us
I am halfway up the wall just grasping at the rope to climb
I am as privaleged as I'd like to be and still understand that
I have to work
I have to prove to you that I can contribute to the society holding my spine straight and my shoulders up
We lovely few insomniacs
Who will still be at practice in the morning
At work at night
And turn in an A- paper on time the next day
We are just getting to bed now
The alarm goes off in two hours and that's alright
We'll do what we have to and we'll love what we do
Life was not engineered to be a vacation. Nobody is holding our hands and we do not miss the hotel pool.

But

You make me smile and laugh
I think of you when I am in a mood
I know seeing you would make it better.

You peel away my shields,
I spill my heart
And you listen intently

I listen too, to your stories
Neither of us conquering the conversation.
We are too two distinct characters.

You are a type I know will not work
I've said this to you,
As we go to the gym, walk, eat together.

In one of our talks, you asked my stance on friends with benefits
Just in general, not propositioning explicitly
I explained no, that's not who I am.

But here we are two planets captured in elliptical orbits.
I brush past your back as I walk away
You hold me from behind to show me a video on your phone

In my head, I think:
You are too young to understand this
This is me being lonely
This is you being a fair option
This is a stupid idea
This is destined to fail
This is destined to happen
This is waiting waiting sweet aching anticipation.