It's hard to have a voice
When you can barely breathe
It's difficult to speak
When you are being crushed by giants
It's painful to attend
When you feel such fear
It's hard to have strength
When you are wholly belittled
But it's hard to be weak
When you're forced to be strong
It's hard to make sure your makeup won't run
When you face tears every day
It's hard to have hope
When you only see hell
It's a struggle to admit
When you're being bullied
And know you can't help yourself

I didn't know it was possible
To be scared of a class
To not feel safe simply because
Your every opinion is
Torn apart
Either you are too smart
Or too dumb
No happy medium

Don't wear the white skirts
The white underwear
The white dress
The white pants
Unless you want red splotches
Oh you, want to look cute today
You aren't expecting me for another week
Here, let me ruin this for you
*****, you wanna go?
Okay, who has the ****** pills?
...the what...?
Ibuprofen!
****** just hand it over
And the blood just keeps flowing
Also, how the **** did someone determine
The average of
1 teaspoon of blood loss per month
Actually, I don't wanna know
So sorry I forgot to get pregnant
Now Mother Nature has to be a ****
Oh wait, that's what's causing this pain
.
.
.
******* girl problems

the last time is the first time
but the first time is not the last time
i called again
for help
for strength
but received none
because my call
sounds like a single drop of water
hitting a swinging fan
that screams like
swinging axe blades
i am voiceless in a world of noiseness
so i must scream and holler
but still no one would hear a single thing
because if it was my idea
it becomes their own
and i am left behind

Body splashing
Heart pounding
Throat gurgling
Mind sputtering
.
.
.
*But it will be okay, eventually

Is much more difficult than I imagined
I thought I could just look in a mirror
But when I did that
I just saw all the people I have ever known
It was horrifying
I saw the memories eating at my face
Pulling my skin apart
Like ribbon
I saw them placing their own characteristics
In place of mine
If that's who I am them I'm ready for change
I know there is more to me in this world
Than memories and reflections
So I went to the river
I dipped my toes in as the storm approached
And the current pulled me under
I fought with all I had
But I can't swim
Instead I choked on those particles of lies
That had started to create me
Blackness swelled in my vision which was almost non-existent to begin
When I could see again
I was on the bank of the river just a half mile from where I had been
But that's the thing
I travelled that half mile
And I survived
The facades built did not

I have heard and seen it all
In the high school girls' bathroom stalls
Somebody's boyfriend loves them
But only if they "take it in the ****"
Somebody believes herself to be
Strong like the ocean
Another wishes someone would just **** her already
Someone has just given up
Their "vandalism virginity"
Someone really enjoys spurting male anatomy
Some girl cuts herself just to feel something
Another one forces the food up her throat
Every time she eats
I, too, am guilty of writing in ink
"I am broken, but don't want to be fixed"
"All you need is faith, trust, and a little gay lust"
"I'm ready to shoot myself"
I've added to that petty hottie list
And I've dented the wall with a fist
A time or two before
But this isn't about me
It's about the honesty
The opening up
That only comes with anonymity
In the high school girls' bathroom stalls